Big Time Sick
by Fish Stick Friday
Summary: James is suffering from an illness that is unlike anything anybody has ever seen before. Logan takes it upon himself to research similar illnesses in the hopes of being able to nurse James back to health. What's wrong with James, and can Logan save him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If you follow me on Tumblr, then this story might be familiar to you. We played a game on Tumblr called, "Big Time _" where someone left an episode title starting with the words "Big Time" in your ask box, and you then had to come up with an episode summary. Anyhow, I did one for Big Time Sick, and hence this story was born. Note the categories this story is under. It's labeled as such for a reason, people.**

**Disclaimer: The day I own Big Time Rush is the day I die of elation, which then I won't own anything because I'll be dead, and the stuff I did own will be auctioned off to the highest bidder more than likely…**

**Big Time Sick**

When James fainted the first time, nobody thought much of it. Everyone just wrote it off to him being fatigued, dehydrated, or perhaps a combination of both. Now that the boys didn't have school to worry about seeing how it was summer, their rehearsals at Rocque Records virtually doubled in length.

However, when James started fainting on a daily basis, sometimes on multiple occasions in one day alone, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan started to suspect that something was up. Despite James' reassurances that he was fine, the others were having a hard time believing him. They were far too worried about him to believe him.

Even though James vehemently protested the idea, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan overruled him and persuaded him to go see a doctor and get checked out. In a bizarre outcome, the doctor said that James had a clean bill of health. Then what could possibly account for all the fainting?

Much to James' annoyance, the others started watching him like a hawk. They practically waited on him hand and foot. Initially, James loved getting pampered by his best friends, but the novelty quickly wore off. Now, James couldn't help but feel like his best friends were treating him like an invalid.

Anymore, James was the last one to wake up in the mornings…well, _almost_. Usually, James would walk out into the living room to see Logan curled up on the orange sofa, his face resting on his laptop. There were numerous medical journals scattered all over the remainder of the sofa, the coffee table, and the nearby floor. From what James could gather, Logan stayed up until the wee hours of the morning doing some sort of research. What kind of research though? They no longer had school to worry about, so it couldn't be school-related, could it?

One day, James decided that enough was enough. He didn't want to wake Logan up when there was no telling how little sleep he had managed the previous night. So instead, James did the next best thing; he pressed Kendall and Carlos for information in the hopes that they had the answers James was so desperately seeking.

"Do you two know what Logan stays up all night researching?" James asked.

Kendall and Carlos traded confused glances with one another before turning back towards James. Carlos shrugged his shoulders.

"Who knows? Maybe it's a Logan thing. You know how he likes to study; even if we _are_ on summer break," Carlos answered.

James shook his head.

"No, this is different. He's not studying. If he was, there would be textbooks instead of all these medical journals. No, he's researching something, but what?" James questioned.

"There's only one way to find out; ask him," Kendall stated.

James nodded his head. Kendall was right. That's exactly what James would do as soon as Logan woke up. James was sure there was a perfectly good explanation for all this…research that Logan was doing. He had convinced himself that he was worrying for nothing.

XXXXX

Logan raised his head, instantly feeling a killer cramp in his neck as he did so. He groggily blinked his eyes before letting out a huge yawn. The keyboard on his laptop had left indentations on the side of Logan's face. He winced as the slightest movement of his head caused a fierce pain to shoot down his spinal cord.

"Good afternoon, sleepyhead," James said, grinning.

Logan turned his head in the direction of James' voice; he was relying on his sense of hearing seeing how he couldn't rely on his sense of vision since he wasn't fully awake yet, his eyes still partially closed. At any rate, Logan instantly regretted turning his head at all as he hissed in pain yet again.

"Afternoon? What time is it?" Logan asked, yawning a second time.

"1:30 p.m." James answered.

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

"Because you look so cute when you're asleep."

James was only teasing, but Logan rolled his eyes all the same. At least when he rolled his eyes, that didn't exasperate the raging neck cramp he was currently suffering from. James suddenly had a serious expression on his face.

"Can I ask you something, Logie?" James inquired.

"Anything," Logan replied.

"What's all this research for?"

Logan frowned for the most fleeting of moments. Trying not to be discovered, he quickly pasted a phony smile on his face for James' benefit. Here he was trying to be discreet by waiting until everyone else had gone to bed to do his research.

Logan was inwardly debating whether or not he should give James a completely honest answer. Apparently though, he was taking far too long.

"Don't lie to me, Logan. I want the truth," James said.

Logan sighed. He didn't much care for lying to James either if he was being truthful. At the same time though, Logan also didn't want James to worry unnecessarily.

"Since the doctor wasn't much help, I figured I would give it a shot. Every night for about the past week now, I've stayed up reading numerous medical journals. I thought if I could just find an ailment similar to the one you're suffering from, we could then know how best to go about treating it," Logan responded.

James bit his lip to keep himself from crying. He could feel his eyes start to well up with tears, and he desperately tried to blink them back before Logan noticed them. James was deeply touched by Logan's gesture. Now James knew that there was no length Logan wouldn't go to help him; here he was sacrificing precious sleep in an attempt to merely find out what was wrong with James.

"It's not a big deal, James," Logan remarked, eyeing James' faltering resolve.

"Are you kidding me? It's a _huge_ deal! I don't know how to even begin thanking you," James said fighting back the sudden urge to ensnare Logan in a overly enthusiastic, bone-crushing bear hug.

"Don't thank me yet. While there are some similarities between what you are experiencing and known diseases, I cannot say with absolute certainty that I know what we are dealing with here. To be frank, I cannot say with _any_ certainty that I know what we are dealing with here."

Logan hung his head in shame, exclaiming, "Ow!" over and over again. He rubbed the back of his neck with one of his free hands.

James flopped down on the couch next to Logan, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He gave Logan a warm smile.

"It's okay, Logan. I know you're doing your best," James said.

Logan shrugged off James' hand, an action that caused his cramped neck immense pain. He broke off eye contact with James, instead choosing to gaze out the window.

"It's not okay though, James! I'm supposed to be the genius! I'm the aspiring doctor! I'm supposed to have all the answers! You're counting on me, and I'm only letting you down!" Logan exclaimed.

James stood up from the couch. He got down on one knee in front of Logan, forcing the smaller boy to look at him, unless he rather his neck be in pain.

"I hate how you're beating yourself up over this! I trust you way more than some idiot doctor who even with his years of experience, still doesn't know what he's talking about!" James commented.

That didn't get the reaction out of Logan that James was hoping for. It didn't really get any reaction out of Logan at all. While Logan had opened up to James a bit, James knew that Logan was still guarded for some reason. Even though this was typical Logan behavior, he never was one to wear his heart on his sleeve, it still troubled James.

"Now, how about I help you pick these papers up, and then we can have some lunch because I don't know about you, but I'm starving," James said.

Logan chuckled. James loved the sound of Logan's laughter. It was the first time he had laughed since he woke up. In James' opinion, Logan didn't laugh enough; not just today, but in general.

"Okay, as long as I fix lunch for us. I trust you in the kitchen even less than I trust Carlos," Logan commented.

James stuck out his tongue at Logan. The two boys started picking up the various medical journals. Just as they were about finished, the stack of papers James had been holding fell to the floor. They seemingly slipped through his fingers, slicing through his fingers and the palm of his hand in the process.

"Ow!" James cried out, cradling his hand to his chest.

"Come on," Logan instructed, grabbing James' uninjured hand, and leading him to the bathroom where the first-aid kit was.

Logan turned on the faucet in the bathroom, and held James' hand underneath the running water. It quickly turned a light shade of pink as it was incorporated with the crimson liquid oozing out of the flesh of James' hand. After Logan dabbed James' hand dry with a hand towel, he opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out some hydrogen peroxide and a box of Band-aids.

Logan expertly applied some hydrogen peroxide to James' wounds. Then, he covered the cuts with various sizes of Band-aids. James would have helped Logan, but at the moment he couldn't so much as bend the fingers of his injured hand.

"What happened back there?" Logan asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I don't know," James replied honestly.

He had no idea what caused him to drop those papers in the living room, but whatever the reason, it scared James. It didn't just scare James though; it scared Logan too. Logan tried to not let it show, but he was terrified. James was far from a klutz. He wouldn't just drop those medical journals like that. Something was wrong with James; something was horribly wrong.

"What's wrong with me?" James asked.

"I wish I knew," Logan said out loud even though he didn't mean to.

Logan had already created a list of James' symptoms in his head; fainting and now impaired motor function. What was next? Logan wasn't even sure he wanted to know what was next.

"Maybe we should take you to the doctor again," Logan suggested.

"I thought we were going to eat lunch?" James replied.

"James, I think your welfare is more important than your appetite, don't you?"

Logan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. James watched as Logan took several deep breaths in succession. He had known him long enough to know that this was what Logan did when he got worked up and was trying to calm himself down.

"Why do I need to go to the doctor anyways? Why can't you just treat me, Logan?" James asked.

The root of the problem was that James was afraid of needles, especially of the large variety. The last time James went to the doctor, he had to have blood drawn, and that involved needles, and James would much rather avoid that entirely.

"While I appreciate your faith in me, I'm no doctor, James. I don't have a medical degree. I also don't have the equipment to treat you properly. Besides, I still don't know what's wrong with you exactly, so I haven't got a clue _how_ to treat you even if I had the equipment and a medical degree," Logan answered matter-of-factly.

James sighed. Welp, he tried. It was certainly worth a shot.

"Come on. I'll drive you," Logan said.

Just as they were about to open the apartment door, it opened revealing Kendall and Carlos. They quickly took in the sight of a worried Logan and an irritated James.

"Where are you two going?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, and why does it look like James is pouting?" Carlos added.

"I'm not pouting!" James exclaimed.

"I'm taking James to the hospital," Logan answered.

"What? Why?" Kendall and Carlos asked in unison.

"I'll explain in the car," Logan replied.

James didn't understand why Logan was treating this like it was a matter of life or death. He felt fine. As soon as he thought that, James suddenly felt light-headed. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he found himself experiencing what was starting to become the all-too-familiar sensation of him in free fall.

"I got you, James. I got you," Logan said as he caught James before he hit the floor.

Kendall and Carlos quickly helped Logan support James' dead weight. All three boys had matching concerned looks written all over their faces. Logan firmly grabbed James by the shoulders and shook him.

"James? Can you hear me? James?" Logan called out, panicking.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Yeah, so what did you think? I feel compelled to make some comment where I doubt myself, but I'll bite my tongue instead. Oh, and I thought I should give you fair warning; there will be a character death in this story, so if that's not your cup of tea, then maybe you shouldn't continue reading this story. Not that the character death is going to happen anytime soon, but yeah…**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, so honestly, out of my three In-Progress stories, I think I'm most excited about this one. This is because with this story, I have the clearest idea where I'm going to go. With this story, I actually feel like being proactive and writing ahead. I'm going to try to update at regular intervals, but the hope is that I'll already have the next chapter written in advance way before I actually upload it. I don't want to spoil you by updating really frequently; besides I don't think that would be fair to my other two stories. I quite like the idea of making you all wait it out by keeping you in suspense and anticipation of the next chapter. There's a new poll on my profile page; it asks which character do you think will die in this story. Alright, enough talk.**

**Disclaimer: You've probably heard me say this before, but I don't own Big Time Rush, and by the time you finish reading this completed story, you'll be hard pressed to hear six sweeter words.**

**Big Time Sick**

When James came to, it was to the incessant beeping of a heart monitor. He woke up to find himself in a nearly blindingly white hospital room. There were white walls, white sheets, white pillow cases, white ceilings, and white tile floors. He could smell the distinct aroma of bleach mixed in with the smell of the morbid and dying.

"Hey, buddy," a familiar voice greeted.

James looked to his left, and saw Logan staring at him with watery eyes. From the looks of things, he had been doing a lot of crying. James instantly felt bad. He didn't want to be the reason for Logan's tears. It was then that he noticed that someone was holding onto his hand. James' gaze shifted downwards, and he saw that it was the same boy who was staring at him; Logan.

"How are you feeling?" Logan asked, his tears falling unchecked.

"I'm fine," James replied, quick to try to ease Logan's mind.

"You had me so worried. I mean you had us all so worried."

"Hey, don't cry, Logie."

James reached out with his free hand to wipe Logan's tears away, but his hand was frozen in mid-air when he heard the sound of two pairs of footsteps enter the room.

"We brought you some food, Logie. Kendall and I thought you might be hungry," Carlos said before tossing a paper bag at Logan, who barely managed to catch it in the nick of time.

Kendall walked over to Logan, and handed him a bottle of water. Logan in turn, verbally thanked Kendall.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to wake up," Carlos commented, grinning at James.

James quickly rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, all the while fiercely hoping that neither Kendall nor Carlos saw him reaching out to Logan.

"Feel better?" Kendall asked, surveying James.

James felt three pairs of eyes gaze at him intensely, eagerly anticipating his every word. His cheeks flushed ever so slightly. Usually, he didn't mind the slightest being the center of attention, but now for some reason, James felt somewhat embarrassed.

"Really guys, I feel fine," James answered.

James frowned slightly when he noticed Logan let go of his hand. He placed the bag of food Carlos brought him next to James before rising up out of his chair.

"Now that you two are back, I have to go use the restroom," Logan said before swiftly heading for the door.

Carlos took the seat Logan had been sitting in, and eyed the paper bag of food longingly. James saw this too, and snickered. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kendall roll his eyes.

"Hands off my food, Carlos," Logan called out.

Kendall and James desperately tried to hold back their laughter as they couldn't help but notice how Carlos was pouting; his arms folded over his chest, his lips slightly protruding.

James hated to dampen the mood, but now that Logan wasn't in the room, there really was something that James needed to get off his chest.

"How is Logan, really?" James asked Kendall.

James knew that Kendall was his best bet for the truth. Carlos, even though he had good intentions, would try to sugar coat things. Meanwhile, James knew that if he wanted an honest answer, he could always rely on Kendall, their leader.

Kendall sighed. "He's taking this pretty hard honestly."

"Are you serious? Why?" James replied.

"He feels responsible for what happened to you. He's trying to put on a brave face for all of us, but I can just tell that it's all just an act. Just by looking into his eyes, you can see the guilt, James. You know how he is; he probably feels like he should have seen this coming, or that he could have done something differently."

James frowned. He took his hand, incidentally enough, the same hand Logan had been holding onto not too long ago, and ran it through his hair. Just as Kendall had done earlier, James sighed deeply.

"That's ridiculous! There's no way he could have known something like this would happen!" James commented.

"I know, right? That's what Kendall and I keep telling him!" Carlos replied. "I'm worried about him, James. He won't talk to us about this. I have a feeling that he's doing what he always does; bottling up how he _really_ feels."

James hated to admit it, but Carlos had a point. It was pretty suspicious how quickly Logan left the room as soon as Kendall and Carlos entered. James couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it almost seemed as though Logan were trying to dodge some conversation that he was afraid of having with Kendall and Carlos.

XXXXX

Logan turned on the tap water in the guys' restroom. He cupped his hands together, and splashed some cold water on his face. After proceeding to wash his hands, he turned off the water, and then dried both his face and hands off with paper towels, before disposing of them in the trash receptacle.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror, and narrowed his eyes.

"I don't care what Kendall and Carlos say! The fact of the matter remains that this happened to James under _my_ watch! And I want to be a doctor when I grow up? What a joke!" Logan said out loud, talking to himself.

Logan walked over to one of the interior walls of the restroom and pressed his back up against the hard surface. He slid down until he was perched on the floor. He buried his face in his hands and let his tears flow freely.

He thought back to the most recent time James fainted. Logan was convinced that on the outside, he seemed perfectly calm, but in actuality, on the inside, he freaked out. Even though James was awake and claimed to be fine, Logan had his doubts. After all, James was in a _hospital_ room for crying out loud!

Sure the doctors were only keeping James overnight as a precaution, but that didn't stop Logan from thinking worst-case-scenario. In fact, that only made Logan worry even more; after all, these were the same doctors who said that James was perfectly healthy when it was quite clear that _something_ was wrong with him!

"There you are," Kendall said upon entering the restroom.

Logan quickly wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. His friends already treated him like a baby as it was; he didn't need to be caught acting like one in front of them to boot.

"Are you coming? Your food's getting cold," Kendall stated.

Kendall grabbed both of Logan's hands, and pulled him up to his feet. As Logan started walking towards the door, Kendall grabbed him by the arm.

"You do know that if something's bothering you, you can always talk to me, right?" Kendall asked. "Carlos and James too for that matter."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine," Logan said, before shaking his arm free of Kendall's grip, and leaving the restroom.

Kendall watched Logan's retreating form sadly. He knew better than to believe that Logan was truly fine. He just wished that Logan felt comfortable enough to open up to any of them about what was really bothering him. He wanted very much to help his friend, but he couldn't do that if Logan wasn't willing to meet him halfway.

XXXXX

A nurse brought in a tray of what James assumed to be food and placed it on the little table in front of James. She smiled brightly at James before leaving the room; well, _trying_ to leave the room. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was going, and ended up walking right smack into the wall. Her face then turned a shade of red James had never before seen on a person. The mortified nurse wasted no time getting the heck out of dodge afterwards.

Carlos was laughing obnoxiously at James' bedside. Even James was cracking up. What they had just witnessed was too funny _not_ to laugh at.

"I think she likes you," Carlos remarked. "You should get her number."

"James should get _whose_ number?" Logan asked, entering the room.

James and Carlos noticed that Kendall walked in right behind Logan.

"Answer the question, James. You should get whose number? Are you flirting with female nurses again?" Logan questioned.

"Someone's jealous," Carlos said in a sing-song voice.

Kendall clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. James didn't think to do that in time, and was doubled over in laughter. Carlos had a smirk on his face. Logan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he glared daggers at a completely oblivious Carlos.

"Shut up! I am not!" Logan retorted.

"It's okay, little Logie. I think you and _Jamie_ make a cute couple," Kendall teased.

"Yeah, after all weren't you two prom king and queen?" Carlos added.

James sobered up in a hurry. Now, he too was glaring daggers at Carlos.

"Hey! I thought I said we were never to speak of that again?" James interjected.

If Kendall and Carlos had anything to say about it, they would make sure James never lived down what happened on that fateful prom night. James had swapped formal attire with Camille so that he could escape his prom date's huge bodyguards that wanted to kill him. Just as he was about to escape, he found himself in the spotlight being named prom queen while Logan was named prom king.

"Is that supposed to be food?" Logan remarked, eyeing James' tray of food suspiciously, desperate to change the subject as well.

On the tray in front of James was a little carton of chocolate milk, a blob of green Jell-o, a dinner roll, and what looked like grey mush. Aside from the chocolate milk and gelatin dessert, nothing really looked terribly appetizing.

James picked up the dinner roll and was immediately surprised by how hard it was; it was as hard as a rock. A sinister idea popped into his head. He made sure he had a firm grip on the dinner roll and hurled it at a still snickering Carlos. The helmet-wearing member of Big Time Rush let out an 'Oomph!' as the projectile hit him in the stomach.

"Dude, that hurt!" Carlos whined, massaging his newly sore ribcage with both hands.

"Serves you right," James retorted.

Despite Logan's blatant attempts at changing the subject, Kendall still wanted very much to continue discussing the nurse who was flirting with James when she brought him his tray of food. Secretly, they all got way too much enjoyment out of egging each other on.

"So James, are you going to get that nurse's number or not?" Kendall asked casually.

"Yeah! You totally should!" Carlos added.

Much to the delight of both Kendall and Carlos, James looked to Logan for his input. In the background, Kendall and Carlos could be heard snickering. It was totally innocent; James just wanted to see what _all_ of his friends thought. That's not the way Kendall and Carlos took it though. Logan's next response didn't help matters any either.

"If you want her number, then get her number! See if I care!" Logan exclaimed.

"He obviously does," Carlos whispered to Kendall.

"Yeah, look how worked up and territorial he's getting," Kendall whispered back.

James and Logan both slapped their foreheads, in unison no less. This only amused Kendall and Carlos even further.

"Why are you acting all jealous? You're giving those two the wrong idea!" James remarked, gesturing towards Kendall and Carlos.

"Oh my gosh! I'm _not_ jealous! I could really care less how many girls' numbers you get! Besides, _you_ are the one who practically asked _me_ for permission to get her number! Do you know how bad _that_ looked?" Logan retorted.

"Now they're having their first fight as a couple," Carlos commented, before he and Kendall burst out laughing.

James was glad that the atmosphere in the room was no longer somber. He just wished it didn't have to come at the expense of him and Logan; the two of them being completely separate entities rather than a collective group because there _was_ no him and Logan! He didn't like Logan like that! James was straight! He likes girls! Great! Now Kendall and Carlos had James questioning his sexuality! Not that there was anything to question! Because there wasn't!

"I've gotta get new friends," Logan remarked, shaking his head, and removing himself from James' hospital room.

"Your boyfriend's leaving, James. Aren't you going to go after him?" Carlos teased.

"Shut up," James replied, throwing a pillow at a smirking Carlos.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Okay, so honestly, I loved the last part where Kendall and Carlos were teasing James and Logan. That was by far my favorite part of this chapter. It was so fun to write! But on a more serious note, this chapter was light and nothing really bad happened, and for those of you familiar with my writing, you know what that means…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

James was worried when only Kendall and Carlos showed up to pick him up from the hospital after he had been released. Where was Logan? Why didn't he come too? Was he hurt? Had something bad happened to him? A plethora of questions raced through James' mind all centering on one person: Logan.

James must have set some sort of record for the quickest anyone went from the parking lot of The Palm Woods to Apartment 2J. Carlos and Kendall had difficulty keeping up with James due to his long strides coupled with his worry for Logan. He was far too impatient to stand around and wait for the elevator, so he took the stairs instead.

One of the first things James saw upon entering the threshold was a prone Logan on the orange sofa swaddled with blankets, obviously Mama Knight's doing. There was a cool, damp washcloth setting on top of Logan's forehead. Logan himself was in a deep sleep.

"What's wrong with him?" James demanded, an edge of panic to his voice.

"We're not sure exactly," Kendall answered.

"He hasn't been feeling well since this morning," Carlos elaborated.

"But you know Logan, he would never tell us that. If it wasn't for my mom taking his temperature, we probably wouldn't have even known Logan was sick," Kendall said.

_Logan was sick_. Those words savagely replayed themselves in James' head. He felt his chest tighten, and suddenly it was extremely difficult to breathe. James believed in his heart of hearts that Logan's illness was _his_ fault. If Logan hadn't stayed up so late all those nights doing research, he would have gotten the sleep his body so desperately needed. Now that he hasn't, his immune system was seriously compromised.

The orange sofa sank with the added weight of James, who sat beside an unconscious Logan. He blinked back tears as he took in the sorry condition his best friend was in. His face was dripping with sweat. His typically spiky hair was matted to his forehead due to all the sweat. His skin was so pale that it looked as though it had never been exposed to the sun.

Kendall spotted his mom in the kitchen.

"Mom, has Logan's temperature gone down any?" Kendall asked.

"Let's check," Mrs. Knight replied, grabbing a thermometer.

She made her way over to the orange couch, and knelt down besides a slumbering Logan. She gently shook him.

"Sweetie, you need to wake up so I can take your temperature and make sure you're okay," Mrs. Knight said.

Logan groaned, eyes still closed. "Lemme sleep," he whined.

"You can go back to sleep as soon as I take your temperature. How does that sound?"

Logan's only response was a violent coughing fit. Carlos frowned, Kendall's eyebrows furrowed in worry, and James winced. Logan's coughing fit lasted a little over a minute. Out of the four of them, Logan had the best immune system. He always made sure to wash his hands with warm water for a good twenty seconds. He was pretty OCD about washing his hands too, always washing his hands after he touched something that could potentially have germs.

Whereas Kendall, James, and Carlos got sick more frequently, when they did become ill, it was pretty much always a twenty-four hour thing. Logan very rarely got sick, but when he did it lingered for a week, sometimes even longer.

Mrs. Knight managed to slip the thermometer in Logan's mouth. The sick boy narrowed his sleepy eyes at his guardian, conveying his disapproval. Once the thermometer beeped, Jennifer Knight removed the implement, and checked the temperature.

"His temperature is 101 now," she said trying, but failing horribly to keep the worry out of her voice.

"It was 100 before we left," Carlos stated.

James shook his head fiercely. _No, no, no! He's getting worse!_

"Maybe if he didn't have all these blankets on him!" James exclaimed as he started pulling blankets off a sleeping Logan.

"He needs to sweat it out of his system. Sweating isn't a bad thing, James. It's how humans cool off," Mrs. Knight pointed out.

However, James was a very stubborn individual. Once he had his mind set on something, there was no talking him out of it. Mrs. Knight was fully aware of this, which was why she didn't even attempt to cover Logan back up with the blankets James had taken off him.

Underneath all the blankets, Logan was wearing a pair of boxers and one of James' white v-necks. From head to toe, Logan was sopping wet with sweat. James decided to lay down next to Logan. Very carefully so as not to awaken him, James snaked an arm underneath Logan, wrapping it around his torso; pulling him closer.

Even though they had joked about Logan being James' boyfriend, Kendall and Carlos knew how close James was to Logan. Heck, they _all_ were. It was hard to say who the heart of their group was; Carlos or Logan. Both of them were the youngest. Both of them had an innocence about them. Kendall and James were fiercely protective of both of them.

Kendall and Carlos couldn't help but smile as James soon drifted off to sleep next to an already slumbering Logan. James and Logan typically had trouble sleeping. They even went so far as to say that they had insomnia. Not Kendall and Carlos though; they were out as soon as their heads hit the pillow, and were heavy sleepers.

The two awake members of Big Time Rush left the living room knowing that Logan was in good hands.

XXXXX

Logan woke up, and was immediately confused when he felt something or someone had a hold of him. He turned his head, and saw a sleeping James with a hint of a content smile on his face. Logan smiled too. He thought it was sweet of James to sleep next to him.

Logan still felt like he was burning up. In addition, his body ached all over. He hadn't recalled eating anything all day. Of course, how could he? He had probably been sleeping all day. Strangely enough, he wasn't even hungry though.

Logan figured it must be some time in the evening because the blinds in the living room had been drawn. Mrs. Knight only closes the living room blinds when the sun goes down. He knew that he was to blame for his current illness; if only he had taken better care of himself. Having said that, if he could go back, he wouldn't do things any differently. He still would have stayed up until the early morning hours researching James' condition.

James.

Logan's gaze drifted towards his unconscious best friend. He looked him up and down as best he could manage given his current situation. After all, he didn't want to move too much lest he wake James up. He would feel entirely too guilty were he to do that. Anyways, James _seemed_ fine to Logan. Then again, he _seemed_ fine before he fainted all those times too, so him _seeming_ fine didn't really mean much.

Logan suddenly felt nauseous. He covered his mouth with his hand as he could feel the bile creep up his esophagus. Now, Logan didn't care anymore if he woke James up, he needed to get to the bathroom _now_! He frantically tried to free himself from James' grasp, but James only pulled Logan closer to him still.

Logan made a split second decision, and dangled his head over the edge of the couch just in the nick of time. His vomit pooled on the carpeted floor beside the couch. Its powerful acidic aroma reeked. It was a reddish orange and chunky.

James' eyes immediately sprang open as soon as he heard Logan throw up. He turned in time to see Logan wipe the remnants of vomit from his mouth with the back of his hand. Logan looked just like a little puppy that hasn't been potty trained looks when he had an accident on the floor and knew that he was about to get scolded for it.

"I'm so sorry!" Logan said straight away.

"Logie, it's okay. You have nothing to apologize for. You're sick," James replied.

Now that James was awake, Logan resumed trying to pry James' arm off him. James was confused by this. The four of them were never shy about physical contact with each other before, so why did Logan seem uncomfortable with James' arm wrapped around his torso?

"James, let go of me! I need to clean it up!" Logan exclaimed.

"Someone else will clean it up. Or I'll clean it up. You just lay back down. You're sick," James replied.

"So are you! Or have you already forgotten?"

James fell silent. Truthfully, he _had_ forgotten until Logan reminded him. Maybe it was because Logan was sick in a more obvious way. Or maybe it was because he hadn't had any more fainting episodes in awhile. Once more, James felt horribly guilty. If he hadn't been sick in the first place, Logan wouldn't be sick now.

"Besides, it's gross. I wouldn't want you or anyone else to have to clean up _my _barf. I made the mess. _I'll _clean it up," Logan said.

In all honesty, James wasn't much looking forward to cleaning up Logan's vomit anyways. Logan was right; it's pretty disgusting. James decided to grant Logan his wish. However, when he went to unwrap his arm, he found that he couldn't. At first, James just thought it was because Logan had been laying on it, and it therefore fell asleep. However, as seconds turned into minutes and James _still_ couldn't move it, he started to think otherwise.

Logan was growing increasingly annoyed with James. This whole time he was under the impression that James just didn't want to let go of him or something. He had no idea that something was seriously wrong.

Eventually, James was finally able to move his arm. Logan got up and cleaned his mess. He tried to make it seem like his body didn't ache all over because he knew James was watching his every move, but James wasn't fooled; he saw how labored every movement Logan made was.

After Logan cleaned up his vomit, disinfected the carpet, sprayed Febreeze on the carpet, and washed his hands, he headed off in the direction of the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" James asked, afraid that Logan just wanted to get away from him.

"I'm going to take a shower," Logan replied, secretly wondering if he needed to give a nosy James an itinerary of the rest of his plans for the day.

"I can help you."

"No thanks! I think I'll manage. I'm a big boy."

James frowned. Now he was more convinced than ever that he had done something to make Logan mad at him. It was almost like Logan couldn't get away from James fast enough or something. However, it didn't stop James from knocking on the bathroom door every fifteen seconds to make sure that Logan was okay.

XXXXX

"For the last time, no!" Logan exclaimed.

"But Logan, you need to eat _something_!" James replied.

"I'm not hungry!"

"But you haven't eaten anything all day!"

"Besides, what's the point? I'm just going to throw it up anyways!"

James remained unfazed. He was trying to spoon feed Logan some homemade chicken noodle soup that Mama Knight had cooked especially for Logan. The smaller boy was just about completely mortified; it was one thing for James to try to get him to eat, but it was something entirely different for James to be trying to _spoon feed_ him!

"Here comes the choo choo train," James said before making train noises while steadily bringing the spoonful of soup ever closer to Logan's mouth.

Logan gave his best friend a murderous look before responding, "Are you for real?"

Kendall and Carlos could be heard snickering from the kitchen. Logan briefly turned his attention to his two amused best friends, glaring daggers at them now.

"I heard that! I'll have you know that this is _so_ not funny!" Logan exclaimed irritably.

Kendall's face was suddenly serious for Logan's benefit even though a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. He _almost_ felt bad for Logan; almost but not quite. This was way too funny to feel bad for Logan.

Carlos paid no mind to Logan glaring daggers at him. He proceeded to laugh obnoxiously, nearly choking on his popcorn on several occasions. A bucket of popcorn rested on his lap, which Carlos was wolfing down while watching James attempt to spoon feed a very unwilling Logan.

Logan felt like the room was spinning all of a sudden. He closed his eyes, and put a hand on his forehead, hissing and immediately removing his hand when it felt like it had just been burned.

"Logan, what's wrong? Are you okay?" James asked, setting the spoon down in the bowl.

Kendall, James, and Carlos all noticed how Logan started to wobble. That was soon followed by him falling out of his chair. James reached out towards Logan, but his hands closed around nothing but air. Luckily, Carlos caught Logan before his body hit the floor.

"Logan, are you okay? Come on! Wake up!" Carlos said frantically as he shook an unconscious Logan in his arms.

Kendall and James were instantly kneeling on the floor beside a now seated Carlos and an unresponsive Logan. Kendall instinctively placed a hand on Logan's forehead, immediately retracting his hand upon discovering how feverish Logan truly was.

"Mom!" Kendall called out desperately. "Logan's burning up!"

Mrs. Knight didn't need to be told twice. In no time at all, she had joined the boys in the kitchen. She had a hard time taking in the sight before her; a very still Logan, and a crying Kendall, James, and Carlos.

"Come on, boys! We're taking Logan to the hospital!" Mrs. Knight said.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: I kind of feel like I let you all down. I hyped this chapter up as having something bad happen, but I feel like most of it was Jagan cuteness. Maybe I'm becoming soft. Lol. However, it did end on a bad note, a cliffhanger no less. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter contains minor slash. Don't like? Don't read.**

**Disclaimer: This story is only for entertainment purposes…though I don't know how entertaining you'll find it later on…**

**Big Time Sick**

James was tossing and turning in an uncomfortable waiting room chair. Visiting hours were over, and he couldn't sleep. Logan had to stay at the hospital overnight. He was hooked up to an IV to help with his dehydration. Mrs. Knight had suggested they go back to The Palm Woods and return in the morning, but James refused to leave the hospital; Kendall and Carlos didn't want to leave either. Mrs. Knight went back to The Palm Woods with Katie while the three boys slept in the waiting room.

Even though Logan only had the flu, it didn't stop James from worrying about him. It didn't stop James from still feeling responsible for Logan even being in the hospital to begin with. If not for him, Logan wouldn't have gotten as little sleep as he had. James didn't ask Logan to stay up all night doing research on what was wrong with him, but Logan did anyways.

Usually, when James had trouble sleeping at night, he wasn't alone; he had the company of Logan who also had difficulty sleeping. Now, Logan was in his hospital room, and Kendall and Carlos were fast asleep. Now James had nobody.

James' fit of restlessness gave him some time to do a lot of thinking. As soon as Logan got better, as soon as he could go home, James was going to tell Logan no more late night researching. He didn't care what happened to him; all that mattered was that Logan didn't do anything to jeopardize his health anymore.

Ever since Logan first got sick, no one babied Logan more than James. James wondered why that was. It wasn't that the others didn't care about Logan, because that wasn't it at all. It's just…James didn't even know how to describe it. About the only thing James could come up with was that aside from Logan, nothing even matters.

James wondered if he would feel the same way if it were Kendall or Carlos instead of Logan. Maybe it was due to all the teasing he had endured at the hands of Kendall and Carlos, but James didn't think it would be quite the same.

So what did that mean? Did it even mean anything? James was so confused. He couldn't make heads or tails out of anything anymore. Kendall and Carlos were only joking when they called Logan James' boyfriend. Weren't they? I mean yeah, James liked Logan, but he didn't like him like _that_. Or did he? James had practically known Logan forever; eleven years. James was friends with Logan before he even met Kendall and Carlos. To be honest, James had only saw Logan as one of his best friends. But now…James didn't know what to think.

Besides, James was a ladies' man. There's _no_ way he could be…_gay_! Sure James hadn't had a girlfriend since they've been in Los Angeles, but that's not because he's _gay_. It's just…the girls here don't know what they're missing. Yeah, that's what James was going with…

As for Logan, James knew that he was still hung up on Camille. He still liked her, but she was going out with Steve now. Logan didn't want to impose or step on anyone's toes, so he just watched from afar. James didn't know how Camille felt about Logan though. However, if she _truly_ cared about him, then why would she torture him by going out with some other guy right in front of him? It's not that he had any ill will towards Camille; after all she and James were friends. It's just that James feared Logan was more into Camille than she was into Logan.

James knew that Logan would want him to get some sleep, and it wasn't easy, but James eventually drifted off to sleep.

XXXXX

Logan woke up to the sound of Carlos saying his name over and over again non-stop.

"Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan…" Carlos said.

"Carlos, knock it off! Let him sleep!" James exclaimed.

Though Logan kept his eyes closed, his lips curved upwards in a smile.

"There! See? He's not sleeping! He's smiling! That means he's awake!" Carlos replied.

Kendall rolled his eyes at his friends. James looked like he wanted to murder Carlos for disturbing Logan, whom James still believed was sleeping. Carlos resumed saying Logan's name louder, faster, and more enthusiastically than ever. Though he tried to hide it, Logan's grin grew even wider; this didn't go unnoticed by Kendall.

Logan cracked his eyes open, and shielded them with his hands. He was forced to squint as the bright light bombarded his retinas. James unconsciously scooted his chair closer to Logan as if that would somehow keep his best friend from being blinded by the white light.

"I'm up, Carlos. I'm up," Logan chuckled.

"About time!" Carlos remarked.

"Carlos!" Kendall exclaimed.

Carlos merely shrugged his shoulders.

"What? It is," Carlos replied.

"How do you feel?" James asked.

Logan felt somewhat awkward as he noticed James look him up and down trying to gauge Logan's condition for himself. He averted his gaze, and looked at Kendall and Carlos as he spoke.

"Don't worry. I'm fine," Logan answered.

As soon as he said that, he had another minute-long coughing fit. James cringed; it practically sounded like Logan was trying to hack up a hairball or something. After Logan finished, he gave his best friends an apologetic smile before staring down at his lap.

"So, good news, buddy, my mom's signing your discharge papers as we speak. It won't be long until you get to go home. We just have to stop at the pharmacy on our way so we can pick up your prescriptions," Kendall said.

Almost on cue, there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Knight poked her head in. All four boys turned their heads toward her.

"Well, you're free, Logan, Ready to go home, sweetie?" she asked.

XXXXX

Kendall was on his way to his room when he heard what sounded like someone crying. It seemed to be coming from James and Carlos' room. He stood in the threshold and saw James curled up on his bed with his face buried in a pillow.

"James? Are you okay?" Kendall inquired.

The boy in question automatically sat up ramrod straight, and dried his eyes with the back of his hand. Despite his best efforts, James still couldn't keep his eyes from looking red and puffy.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine," James answered, his voice cracking on the last word.

"Oh James, it's not your fault that Logan's sick," Kendall said.

Kendall meant for his words to be reassuring, but instead, his words sparked another wave of guilt to wash over James. He bit his lip to keep himself from crying anymore in front of Kendall.

"Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" James muttered under his breath.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Kendall responded.

He quickly noticed that James wouldn't even look at him anymore. Kendall also picked up on the bitterness in James' voice. If Kendall didn't know any better, it even sounded like James was resentful as well.

"Well, okay then. I know when I'm not welcome. Logan _will_ be okay though, James. I promise," Kendall said before leaving James.

XXXXX

"Are you thirsty? Do you need some water?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"No. I'm fine, Mama Knight," Logan replied trying his best to keep his voice polite despite how annoyed he was getting.

"Well, how about some ginger ale? Are you still sick to your stomach?"

"Really, I'm fine."

"You need to drink plenty of fluids. We don't want you to get dehydrated again, and you don't want to be hooked up to an IV again, do you?"

"Well, no…"

Mrs. Knight made her way to the kitchen to fetch Logan a drink. While she was there, she also grabbed some of Logan's medicine. While she didn't like that Logan was sick, she _did_ enjoy playing Doctor Mom.

Logan slapped his forehead. He didn't know who was worse: James or Mama Knight? There was no doubt that the two of them were the _worst_ when it came to babying him. Mama Knight because she's a mother and it's maternal instinct or whatever. But what was James' excuse? Where was James anyways? Logan's thoughts were interrupted when he saw Mama Knight walk back in the living room with a glass of water in one hand, and a bottle of Nyquip and a spoon in the other.

She set both on the coffee table in front of Logan. Then she unscrewed the cap, and poured the liquid medicine into the intimidating large spoon.

"Time for some Extra Strength Nyquip with real artificial cherry flavor!" Mrs. Knight said in a sing-song voice.

Logan groaned. His eyes were glued to the spoon. What was that anyways? There's teaspoons, tablespoons, and then there's _that_! Logan decided to call the utensil a mega tablespoon.

Logan begrudgingly opened his mouth as Mrs. Knight shoved the medicine in. He could immediately taste the thick, syrupy, bitter medicine slide down his esophagus. He wrinkled his face in disgust.

"Now Logan, you know what they say; the worse it tastes, the better it is for you," Mrs. Knight said sagely.

_Well then, I should be good in no time!_

"Now drink," Jennifer Knight ordered, handing Logan the glass of water.

XXXXX

When James went to check on Logan, he was amused by what he saw; Logan was sitting up on the couch, but his head would droop as he would start to nod off. He would catch himself, and sit up straight again, only to start to nod off all over again. This cycle repeated itself over and over again.

James flopped down on the couch beside Logan probably more forcefully than was necessary. He slung an arm over a sleepy Logan's shoulders.

"Hey buddy!" James greeted.

Logan groggily blinked his eyes in an attempt to get James' image to stop being so blurry.

"How do you feel?" James asked.

Logan attempted to give James a withering glare, but he was far too sleepy for it to be very effective. Drowsiness _was_ one of the side effects of Nyquip…

"If I had a nickel for every time…" Logan started to say before James cut him off.

"We're just worried about you. We're allowed to be worried about you, aren't we?" he retorted.

Logan forgot what it even was he was trying to say. All he knew was that his head felt insanely heavy as it started to droop once again. James snickered.

"Someone's sleepy," he commented.

"I'm not…" Logan said yawning loudly. "I'm not…" he said, his head dipping even lower still. "I'm not…"

Now Logan was conked out with his head resting on James' shoulder. The taller boy smiled at his best friend. He had meant to have a serious talk with Logan about not staying up late doing research anymore. However, that conversation would have to wait.

James' eyes shone with adoration as he watched his sleeping friend. Logan looked so peaceful when he was asleep. James smiled as he thought back to how valiantly Logan tried to combat the ensuing drowsiness earlier.

Carlos entered Apartment 2J at this moment. He had just got done going for a swim in the infamous Palm Woods pool. Secretly, he was checking out the Jennifers who happened to be sunbathing at the time. After his disastrous prom date with one of the Jennifers, all three of them wouldn't give Carlos the time of day, but Carlos, ever the optimist, wasn't the least bit discouraged.

The youngest member of Big Time Rush was wearing his helmet like always and his swim trunks. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and he hadn't completely dried off before returning to the apartment.

James bent down and kissed his unconscious friend on the forehead. Unbeknownst to James, Carlos saw this as well, and he couldn't believe what he just witnessed. His mouth was agape, and his jaw had hit the floor.

Carlos didn't even know what to do with this information. Should he tell someone? If so, who? What did this mean? How long has this been going on? Does Logan feel the same way? Was Carlos just overreacting? Maybe the kiss was innocent. Yeah, maybe it didn't mean anything. It's not like it was on the lips or anything. Still, Carlos was beside himself. James _kissed_ Logan!

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Was this okay? I've never written slash before. Can't you tell? I just didn't want too much to happen too fast, you know? Like I didn't want James and Logan to be groping each other and playing tonsil hockey or anything in this chapter. I wanted to kind of transition into it, you know? That's just my personal taste though. I'm a fan of relationships that develop and strengthen over time instead of being hot and heavy from the beginning. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Well, well, well. Look who finally got around to updating this. I would have updated sooner, but I was out of town for a few days, and the hotel I was staying at didn't have free Wi-Fi, and I wasn't gonna pay for it when my trip already cost enough as it was. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I am not making a profit by writing this.**

**Big Time Sick**

It had been a week since Logan got sick, and he was _finally_ better. Gustavo had to cancel a few concerts because the boys refused to perform without Logan, who had been in no condition to perform at a concert. Now, for the first time in a long time, Big Time Rush could do a concert.

The dogs had never performed better. It was almost like they were trying to make up for having to cancel a few shows. However, there were a couple of _near_ accidents where one of the boys almost collided into another one. Usually, it was James or Logan who almost collided into Kendall or Carlos. Every chance he got, James would sneak a glance over at Logan just to make sure he was okay, and vice versa.

To Logan, this was like the calm before the storm. It had been far too long since he noticed James experience any sort of symptoms. He hadn't fainted. He hadn't had impaired motor functioning. Those _had been _James' previous symptoms that Logan had documented.

As for James, he wasn't thoroughly convinced that Logan was one hundred percent. Sure, he told everyone that he was fine, but James knew Logan all too well. That was probably just Logan being selfless; putting other people before himself. In James' opinion, Logan did that _far_ too often. It actually had taken a great deal of persuasion by Kendall, Carlos, Kelly, and even _Gustavo_ in order for James to agree to let Logan perform at the concert.

The dogs had just finished their final number, and were slapping the hands of the screaming girls in the mosh pit, being sure to use the Zevon method; P.F.I. James was up next, as he ran past the row of girls, it looked as though they had latched onto him, and pulled him off the stage. It looked as though James was now crowd surfing. However, in reality, James had fainted.

Kendall and Carlos were smiling at laughing as they watched James crowd surf. However, Logan wasn't smiling. He wasn't smiling one bit. Kendall and Carlos may not have noticed, but Logan noticed how James staggered a bit before he was pulled from the stage. It was like Logan's worst fear had come true; something was wrong with James again.

Logan indiscreetly hopped off the stage and frantically tried to make his way to James. Things were going great _at first_. Once the crazed fans realized that Logan was amongst them, they freaked out; trying to grab him, touch him, hug him, kiss him. Logan could make out James still skimming across the surface of the crowd, getting further and further away from him.

"Excuse me. I need to get through. Out of my way!" Logan yelled, quickly losing his patience.

Eventually, Logan spotted James lying on the ground in an open space. Red-hot anger coursed through his veins. Did the fans just dump him _on the ground_? Did they have no regard for his _safety_? Logan was concerned by how still James was. He knelt down beside his best friend. He was afraid to move him until his neck was stabilized. Logan didn't know if stabilizing James' neck first was really necessary, but he wasn't about to take any chances.

"James? Can you hear me? Come on, buddy! Wake up!" Logan shouted desperately.

He placed his ear against James' chest, and was horrified when he couldn't hear a heartbeat. Logan knew what he needed to do; he needed to give James CPR. It was one of those things Logan made a point to learn because he was always prepared like that.

He proceeded to give James chest compressions. Secretly, he was hoping that would do the trick, but it didn't. Logan frowned as he realized what he had to try to do next.

"You're not going to like this," Logan said.

He pinched the bridge of James' nose. He lowered his face to James, coming to an abrupt halt centimeters away from James. Logan shook his head. It was one thing giving a female CPR, but it was something entirely different giving a male CPR. What other choice did Logan have though? He couldn't stand by and do nothing while James died. If there was anything, _anything_ Logan could do to help James, he would.

With his newfound determination, Logan lowered his lips to James', giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. It was definitely one of the most awkward things Logan had ever experienced, but he tried to push that thought to the back of his mind and focus on reviving James.

Logan went back to giving James chest compressions when mouth-to-mouth resuscitation also failed. Each chest compression became more forceful and more desperate than the previous one.

By now, this had caused a scene, as a crowd of onlookers circled around the two Big Time Rush band members. From up on the stage, Kendall and Carlos saw a bunch of fans congregate around something, and got off the stage to see what the problem was.

When they arrived, they were just in time to see Logan give James mouth-to-mouth resuscitation again. They didn't think much of it even though a lot of the onlookers did as evidenced by their shocked gasps. Kendall and Carlos knew Logan was just trying to save James.

With his lips pressed against James', Logan saw James open his eyes, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Logan pulled back instantly, horrorstruck. James now had a toothy grin as he took in the shocked expression on Logan's face.

"Y-you w-were f-faking it?" Logan stammered.

"No, I really _did_ faint," James replied innocently, earning him a glare from Logan.

"That's not what I was talking about, James, and you know it!"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I hate you!"

"I love you too!"

Logan stormed to his feet, and stalked off, James in hot pursuit. Carlos was doubled over in laughter. Even though Kendall was shaking his head at James' antics, there was a hint of a smirk on his face as well.

XXXXX

James found Logan sitting on the men's bathroom floor, his back against the wall, his knees drawn up to his chest. Tears rolled down his cheeks. As soon as Logan heard the door to the restroom open, he furiously wiped the tears from his eyes.

James had never felt so horrible before in his life. It was _supposed_ to have been an innocent, harmless joke. Never in his wildest imagination did James think it would take this sort of turn. On one hand, James was touched that Logan got so upset over this; it showed how much he truly cared. On the other hand, James couldn't help but think that Logan would have reacted the same way if it had been Kendall or Carlos.

"I'm so sorry," James said earnestly.

"You're a real jerk, you know that? I thought you were…I thought you were dead or at least dying!" Logan replied in a loud whisper. James had barely heard what Logan said because he was speaking so softly.

James was confused. He wasn't sure what to make of Logan being as affected as he was by James' prank. A part of James couldn't help but wonder if _maybe_ Logan had feelings for him; _romantic_ feelings. He couldn't outright ask him though. He had already upset Logan enough, even if it was unintentional, for one day, heck for one week. James didn't want to push his luck.

James would give anything to know what was going through Logan's mind as he was giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Did he feel anything like James did? If James was being perfectly honest with himself, that was probably the closest he would ever get to kissing Logan. He now understood why Camille liked kissing Logan so much; he was one heck of a kisser!

"Are you okay?" Logan asked softly.

James shook himself from his thoughts, and averted his gaze, trying not to stare at Logan. "Huh? What did you say?" James replied.

"I asked if you were okay."

"Oh. Yeah. You worry _too much_."

"And you don't worry _enough_."

James mustered up his courage and sat down beside Logan on the floor. He was surprised when the smaller boy scooted over to him. James draped an arm over Logan's shoulder, and Logan in turn rested his head on James' shoulder.

"Don't you _ever_ do anything like that to me again!" Logan tried, but failed to say with any semblance of authority. More than anything, it sounded as though Logan was pleading with James. "I don't know what I'd do if…if…"

James' heart skipped a beat. Once it resumed thumping, his heart soared. Maybe Logan hadn't meant it how James took it, but he could hope, couldn't he? The truth of the matter was that he felt the same way about Logan; he couldn't imagine life without him in it. James gave Logan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't worry, Logie," James said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I want to believe you. I do. It's just…" Logan trailed off.

"It's just…what?"

"You were unconscious a lot longer this time, and that scares me. I mean we still don't even know what we're dealing with here."

"Well whatever it is, we'll deal with it…_together_."

James gently cupped Logan's chin, and tilted it up. He then lowered his own head down. They locked eyes with one another. Logan opened his mouth to say something, but James cut him off before he could.

"Hold still. I want to try something," James instructed.

Logan obeyed James' command unsure where he was going with this. He was caught off guard when James' face drew closer to his own. Initially, this made him somewhat uncomfortable, but James for whatever reason, told him to hold still, so he would hold still. Logan trusted James.

James tilted his head ever so slightly to the left. James' eyes were ablaze with hunger. Their noses grazed, and James parted his lips ever so slightly. He leaned in closer yet. Logan was startled when he saw James pucker his lips though admittedly, not as startled as he thought he would be. James closed his eyes lightly as he drew ever nearer.

"There you guys are!" Carlos said enthusiastically.

Logan and James instantly sprung apart. Logan rubbed the back of his neck bashfully, his cheeks flushed crimson. Meanwhile, James stared up at the ceiling whistling innocently. Kendall entered the restroom behind Carlos.

"Carlos! It is _so_ good to see you!" James commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm that went unnoticed by an oblivious Carlos.

"Is everyone alright in here?" Kendall asked.

"Never better," James answered, hugging Logan close to him.

"Yeah. What he said," Logan replied lamely.

James was taken aback when he saw Kendall give him a knowing look. James chuckled nervously. He had wondered if any of the others had picked up on how James was feeling towards Logan. If the expression on Kendall's face was any indication, at least one of James' friends knew.

"Hey James, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone," Kendall said.

"Uh…sure," James responded uncertainly.

James removed his arm from around Logan's shoulder as he rose to his feet. He followed Kendall out of the restroom. It took every ounce of self-restraint James had to _not_ look back at Logan. Kendall obviously knew, the last thing James wanted was for Carlos to know as well.

XXXXX

"What were you thinking?" Kendall asked as soon as he and James were alone.

"What are you talking about?" James replied, playing dumb.

"What am I talking about? That stunt back there! What Carlos and I _almost_ walked in on! _That_ is what I'm talking about! Have you lost your mind?"

James hung his head, not out of shame, but because he didn't dare look at a clearly furious Kendall. He was one of James' best friends, but he was still had anger management issues; he still was scary when he was mad.

"I haven't lost my mind," James mumbled under his breath.

"Look," Kendall said, his voice softening drastically. He reached over and placed his hand on James' shoulder. The latter flinched from the contact. "I just don't want you to hurt Logan."

James was offended. If he was being completely honest with himself, he had no idea where this was even coming from. He knew that Kendall was fiercely protective of his friends, but for the life of him, James couldn't figure out why Kendall wasn't worried that Logan might hurt James.

"I would _never_ hurt Logan!" James exclaimed.

"Right," Kendall replied sarcastically. "Like when you kissed Camille."

James suddenly felt like he had been punched hard in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of him as Kendall's words stung, seeming to hang in the air repeating themselves again and again in a vicious loop.

"That was a low blow," James commented.

Everyone had already moved past that incident, even _Logan_, so why was Kendall bringing that up again? That was ancient history! The more he tried to understand what Kendall's attitude was all about, the more confused James became. Was Kendall _jealous_? Was that what this was all about?

"How do you even feel about Logan anyways?" Kendall asked, blatantly ignoring James' remark.

"I don't know," James answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do you love him?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel. It's all so confusing."

"Just as I thought. Stay away from Logan, James. I mean it!"

"How can I stay away from him? We live together! We work together!"

"You know what I mean!"

An uncomfortable silence fell over the two boys. Kendall was glowering at James. However, this was unbeknownst to James who still refused to make eye contact with Kendall. James wasn't going to lie; a part of him was hurt that Kendall appeared to be showing favoritism.

"I mean it, James! Whatever this thing is between you and Logan, it ends now!" Kendall said authoritatively before leaving James by himself.

"What the heck just happened?" James said to no one in particular once Kendall had left.

To Be Continued…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just a word of warning; the opening scene is the closest I have ever been to writing something M rated. I just chickened out because I have convinced myself that I can't write M rated stuff even though I have never really tried. Besides, I don't want to change the rating of the whole story just because of one scene of one chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. This is actually one of my stories where you might be bummed out about that. Lol.**

**Big Time Sick**

James was lying on top of Logan's smaller body; their two forms parallel to one another. Both boys were stark naked and sweaty. Logan had his legs wrapped around James' waist. Their hands were intertwined as James had them pinned down on either side of Logan's head. The two had each other in a mutual lip lock.

Logan whimpered when James broke off their kiss. The taller boy's eyes roamed over the smaller boy's body. Typically, James thought sweat was disgusting, but there was something about the way the beads of sweat glistened on Logan's creamy, milky white skin that made James painfully hard.

Several people had the misconception that Logan was scrawny. However, James, upon seeing Logan in all his glory, knew this was not the case at all. James had seen Logan change before in the locker room, but he had never seen Logan quite like _this_ before.

James chewed on his bottom lip as he marveled over Logan's body. His biceps, the contours of his abs, his belly button, the V of his hips, his muscled thighs. It was all very arousing to James.

James lowered his lips to Logan's neck as his lips ghosted over the delicate skin, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses down first his neck, and then his torso. Logan moaned in response.

"I love you, Logan," James said.

Logan opened his mouth to say something, but James couldn't make out what Logan said for all he heard was the blaring sound of his alarm clock. Groaning, he hit the snooze button with far more force than was necessary.

"Stupid alarm clock!" James muttered under his breath.

He lifted his head up off his pillow which contained a pool of drool. There was also some dried up saliva around the edges of James' mouth. Looking down, he realized that he was also suffering from a _serious_ case of morning wood. His cheeks turned rosy as he realized what or rather _who_ caused his morning wood. It was the first time James Diamond had ever dreamt of Logan Mitchell.

James nervously glanced over at the other side of the room. He saw that Carlos was still very much fast asleep. He was grateful for that too. Based on the pronounced bulge in James' boxers, it was readily apparent that he had a problem that he needed to go take care of, and the sooner the better.

James climbed out of his bed, and peeked his head out the door. Much to his relief, the coast was clear. James made a beeline for the bathroom. A cold shower should do the trick…

XXXXX

"Good morning, James," Logan greeted as soon as he saw James in the kitchen preparing himself a bowl of cereal.

Logan frowned when James didn't reply. He didn't even look at Logan. For all he knew, James hadn't even heard him. Logan watched as James took his bowl of cereal and walked past the kitchen table where he was seated, and went into the living room. James had turned on the television and was eating his cereal while watching cartoons.

Logan was confused by James' strange behavior. Just yesterday, James had tried to kiss him, and pretended to not be breathing just so he would give him mouth-to-mouth. Now, it was like James was giving Logan the cold shoulder for some reason.

The Big Time Brain couldn't help but think about what _almost_ happened last night at the concert. If Logan was being completely honest with himself, a part of him wished that James _had_ kissed him. Logan was definitely physically attracted to James. After all, James _was_ a pretty boy. It was kind of hard _not_ to be!

However, the rest of Logan was glad that nothing happened last night. As for his being attracted to James, the logical side of Logan rationalized that as him being envious and maybe even jealous of James' good looks. That was all it was. It wasn't anything more than that!

Logan refused to even entertain the idea that he could be gay. It wasn't that he was homophobic. On the contrary, Logan was one of the most open-minded, accepting, non-judgmental people. It was just that as a whole, society wasn't very accepting of gays. There were debates about the legalization of gay marriage. Homosexuals were picked on, ridiculed, and treated differently.

Besides, Logan liked girls. He was in love with Camille still even though the two of them weren't currently dating. A voice in the back of Logan's head told him that he could be _bi_ then. He just wasn't sure that was any better.

Then, Logan thought that maybe he was just curious. It wasn't like he had an overwhelming urge to make out with every good looking guy he saw. Truthfully, the only guy Logan really wanted to make out with was James, but he wasn't about to tell anybody that, least of all James.

"Earth to Logan," Kendall said, waving his hand in front of Logan's face.

Logan ceased staring at James in the living room to look at Kendall, who had taken a seat next to him at the kitchen table. Logan wondered exactly how long Kendall had been sitting next to him. Had he been staring at James this whole time?

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" Logan asked.

"I asked you what your plans were for our day off today," Kendall answered.

Logan merely shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. I'll probably just end up reading a book or something," Logan replied before getting up from the kitchen table and walking over to the sink to wash his dirty bowl and spoon.

With his back to Kendall, Logan didn't notice Kendall look over at James in the living room with a victorious grin on his face. It appeared as though James decided to heed Kendall's warning after all.

XXXXX

Carlos was surprised to find James still in the living room watching television. Usually, the most James watched TV was a few hours, and that was only for a hockey game. Carlos checked the watch on his wrist and saw that James had been watching television for a good six hours now. This concerned Carlos. He took a seat on the couch next to James.

This wasn't the _only _thing that was bothering Carlos though. Back when Logan was sick, he remembered James kissing Logan on the forehead. Carlos freaked out upon seeing this and told Kendall what he had seen. It was far too big of a secret to keep.

In addition, Carlos was one of Logan's followers on Scuttlebutter, and he read Logan's latest post. It read: "Why are you avoiding me, James? Did I do something to make you mad at me?"

"Is everything okay between you and Logan?" Carlos asked, cutting straight to the chase.

James hesitated for a moment, clearly caught off guard by his younger friend's question. He plastered a fake smile on his face. It usually did the trick when it came to Carlos.

"Of course! Why would you think something was wrong?" James replied.

Carlos handed James his iSlab which had been on Logan's Scuttlebutter profile page. James glanced at the device, reading Logan's latest post. He somehow managed to keep his frown at bay.

"I'm not avoiding him," James responded, seriously wishing Carlos would just drop it already.

"Really?" Carlos responded, unconvinced. "Then how come you wouldn't eat breakfast at the kitchen table with him? How come you've been in here watching TV ever since you got done with your shower this morning? How come you haven't responded to Logan's post? He posted that two hours ago!"

James knew that Carlos more than any of his friends didn't like it when people fought, especially when those feuding were his best friends. Carlos didn't seem to get it though. James didn't _want_ to be gay. Being gay wasn't normal, and James wanted to be normal. James wasn't sure what to do about his feelings toward Logan, so rather than deal with them, he just tried to ignore them; he just tried to ignore Logan. Ignorance is bliss and all that jazz…

"You wouldn't understand, Carlos. It's…_complicated_," James said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Carlos countered, clearly offended. "I'm too stupid to get it?"

"Carlos, that's not what I meant!"

"You know what? Forget it, James! Excuse me for trying to help!"

Carlos got up off the couch in a huff, and stormed out of 2J, slamming the door shut behind him. James jumped. Carlos normally wasn't one to slam doors. That was more something he or Kendall would do; Kendall because he had anger management issues, and James because he got so passionate about things.

"Great! Now Carlos is mad at me! I can't seem to do anything right anymore!" James grumbled.

XXXXX

The next morning, James rolled over on his bed and opened his eyes. He found himself face-to-face with a girl with jet black hair down to her butt. This girl was scantily clad, wearing nothing but her bra and a pair of panties. As for James, he himself was only wearing a pair of boxers. James let out a high-pitched girlish scream.

"Oh my God!" James yelled.

Carlos' eyes sprang open. He sat up in his bed and glared at his roommate groggily.

"James, do you mind? _Some_ of us are trying to sleep here!" Carlos remarked. Then his eyes fell upon the girl in James' bed. The two of them were lying on top of the sheets. "No way!"

James' eyes darted from Carlos to the girl, and then back to Carlos. He held his hands up innocently.

"No, no! No, no, no!" James exclaimed.

James' memory of last night was foggy. He remembered bringing the girl to the apartment fully intent on sleeping with her if for no other reason than to see if he still could…perform properly…with girls. However, James didn't remember actually _doing_ anything with the girl in bed. Though he had to admit that based on how little he and the girl were wearing, all signs pointed to it.

"We didn't even do anything last night!" James yelled gesturing to him and the girl in his bed.

"Don't be so modest. We did _lots_ last night," the girl said seductively, tracing her finger down James' chest.

Carlos was completely beside himself. He couldn't believe that James had the nerve to have sex with a girl with him right across the room! Carlos heard something last night, but he just assumed that James was having a wet dream or something. He never expected _this_!

Then Carlos thought of Logan. He couldn't understand why James would do this to Logan. Carlos thought James _liked_ Logan! So then why would he sleep with a random girl? Was he trying to hurt Logan? If so, why? Carlos didn't understand why anyone, least of all James, would want to hurt Logan.

"I have to tell Kendall and Logan, especially Logan!" Carlos replied, as he started to climb out of his bed.

"No, Carlos! Please don't! They can't know about this!" James exclaimed.

"What's going on in here?" Kendall asked as he appeared in the doorway.

"Yeah, and what can't I know about?" Logan inquired, standing beside Kendall in the threshold.

That's when Kendall and Logan saw James in bed with a girl. Neither of them had very many clothes on either. Kendall balled his hands into fists at his side. He had warned James not to hurt Logan. Next to Kendall, Logan let out a shocked gasp.

"I gotta…" Logan said, but he never finished his sentence. He sulked off.

"Logan, wait!" James called out, going to chase after him, but Kendall cut him off at the pass.

The girl had a disgusted look on her face as she looked at James.

"I'm confused. Was that like your boyfriend or something?" she asked James.

"Just take your stuff and go, please," James said, trying to keep his voice calm in spite of how he was feeling at the moment.

The girl didn't need to be told twice. She let out a 'Humph' and dramatically turned her head away from James as she passed him. Kendall had no problem letting her out of the room. Then he resumed his position as sentry.

"I told you not to hurt Logan!" Kendall yelled.

"You also told me to stay away from Logan, and that whatever was going on between me and Logan was over! I'm just doing what you told me to!" James retorted.

"You're a real piece of work! Do you know that?"

Carlos hated that his best friends were fighting with each other. Usually, he believed in his heart of hearts that there was no clear right or wrong. However, in this case, it was crystal clear to him who was in the wrong: James.

"He likes you, James," Carlos stated. "Or at least he _did_. I'm not so sure anymore."

"He did?" James asked, his eyes lighting up at the mere prospect of Logan returning his feelings.

"Yeah, he and I talked while you and Kendall were talking at the concert two nights ago."

"What did he say?"

"He sounded very confused…and vulnerable."

James felt like the worst person on the face of the planet right about now. He did this to Logan when he was his most vulnerable. Now James wasn't even sure he and Logan had a future together anymore.

"Why do you continue to hurt Logan time and time again?" Kendall asked.

"What do you mean?" James responded.

"You always seem to say or do something that inevitably hurts him. For instance telling him that Wayne Wayne would replace him in the band. Or calling his dream of becoming a doctor stupid. Or when you kissed his girlfriend, Camille, while they were dating. And now this."

James was surprised Kendall remembered him doing all those things. Heck, he didn't even remember some of that stuff because it happened so long ago. But hearing Kendall say all those things, it really made James sound like some sort of monster.

"I don't know why I do what I do, okay? I'm an idiot!" James replied. "I have to talk to Logan though! I have to make this right!"

James made to leave the bedroom, but Kendall forcefully shoved him backwards, refusing to allow him to leave.

"You're not going anywhere! You've done enough! Stay away from him!" Kendall shouted warningly.

James held his hands up in the air.

"Okay, fine. You win," James said before jabbing Kendall in the bridge of his nose, staggering him back a few steps.

Kendall tackled James to the floor. He sat on top of his chest as he rained lefts and rights down on James' precious face. James tried to get his hands up to protect his face, but Kendall's blows somehow seemed to find their mark regardless.

James rolled Kendall over so now he was the one on top. It was now his turn to punch Kendall in the face.

"Guys, stop!" Carlos pleaded, desperately trying to pull the two apart.

When James pulled his fist back to hit Kendall, he inadvertently elbowed Carlos in the face, causing him to cry out in pain. Blood sprayed out of his nose as Carlos covered it gingerly with both hands.

James forgot all about wanting to pummel Kendall. He rose to his feet and was instantly at Carlos' side, checking on him.

"Carlos, I'm _so_ sorry! It was an accident!" James exclaimed.

Carlos swatted James' helping hands away. His face resembled that of a little puppy that had just been kicked. It broke James' heart seeing Carlos like that. The wind was knocked out of James as Kendall grabbed him and threw him roughly to the floor.

Kendall led Carlos to the bathroom where the first-aid kit was. James didn't even bother picking himself up off the floor. He just stayed there, tears streaming down his face. The guilt was crushing, suffocating. James lay on the bedroom floor alone and friendless.

To Be Continued…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I know I'm updating out of sequence, but I had this idea for a little while now. Plus, I'm still the most excited about this fic above all others. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

James hovered over the toilet, which was as of late, his new best friend. He had spent a good portion of the last hour emptying the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. A thin film of sweat covered his face. He sat on the cold bathroom floor with his back pressed against the wall.

James massaged his forehead with the thumb and forefinger of his right hand. He squinted as the bright white light of the bathroom scorched his retinas. It felt like a miniature person was deep inside his skull using a jackhammer.

James thought about getting help, but he didn't know where to turn. Mama Knight and Katie slept with headphones on, so there was no waking them up. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan had still been mad at James when they went to bed, so James was doubtful that had changed.

Besides, it's not like they could do much for him anyways. He would still be just as sick regardless. The only thing was that if he woke someone up, at least he wouldn't be alone anymore. After the blow out earlier, James would give anything to not be alone anymore.

James knew that he messed up. He made some pretty stupid decisions, namely bringing a girl home to sleep with. James was constantly going back and forth on the matter, but for the moment, James didn't believe there was anything wrong with having feelings for his best friend; even if his best friend was a guy.

Logan had always wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. Becoming one-fourth of Big Time Rush hadn't changed that. James knew that if he were to tell anyone of his sickness, Logan would be his best bet. Even if Logan was still mad at him, James knew that Logan was far too compassionate to turn his back on James at a time like this.

James nodded his head, and with fierce determination, unsteadily rose to his feet. He had a pronounced case of jelly legs. He grabbed the frame of the door to help keep himself upright. He tried to will himself not to think about the pounding in his head.

James groped his way down the hallway, refusing to turn on the hallway light not because he was being considerate, but because of his migraine. James didn't think he could stand any more light than the bathroom light that he in his haste forgot to turn off.

At long last, he reached the door to the bedroom Kendall and Logan shared. James could hear the sound of Kendall snoring softly. However, he wasn't sure whether Logan was asleep or not. For one, Logan didn't snore when he slept. Secondly, like James, Logan suffered from insomnia. The two of them didn't sleep nearly as much as Kendall or Carlos. Usually they tossed and turned in bed when they went to bed unlike Kendall and Carlos who fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.

James realized that there was only one way of knowing whether or not Logan was asleep, but that would involve doing something he wasn't sure Logan _wanted_ him to do; talk to him.

"Logan, are you awake?" James asked anyways, knowing that Kendall was far too heavy of a sleeper to be woken up.

Logan sighed. He had spent a good deal of the day crying like he's never cried before. He felt so hurt by what James had done to him. He felt so stupid for ever believing that James actually _liked_ him liked him.

"I really don't want to hear anything you have to say right now," Logan said, trying to word it as politely as possible despite the anger he felt toward James.

James' own eyes prickled with tears. He had never seen Logan so upset with him like he was now. Of course it didn't help that Kendall had to bring up old wounds, reminding James of all the times he had hurt Logan since they moved out to L.A.

"Something's wrong with me," James said.

"You got that right," Logan muttered under his breath.

"No, that's not what I…"

James spewed all over the bedroom floor, bile bubbling out of his nostrils, the foul stench nearly overpowering enough to make him vomit anew. James couldn't see where on the floor he threw up, but he was extra careful not to step in it.

Logan may not have been able to _see_ James throw up, but he sure heard it, and that's all it took for him to throw off the covers and get out of bed. Despite everything that had transpired between them, Logan rushed over to James' side even though he couldn't even see where he was going. He made a face as he ended up stepping in James' vomit. Logan was barefoot to boot.

James felt Logan snake his arms around his torso. He draped an arm over Logan's shoulder and leaned on him for support. There was still a bit of throw up that lingered on the corners of James' mouth, but he was far too exhausted to bother to wipe it off with his hands.

"Come on, buddy. Let's get you to the bathroom and get you cleaned up," Logan said going into doctor mode.

James' heart swelled with pride when he heard Logan call him 'buddy.' He couldn't stand the thought of ever losing his friendship with Logan. It meant the world to James. He knew he was being incredibly selfish, but James wanted Logan in his life, and he didn't really care what way so long as he was in his life.

XXXXX

Logan and James were camped out on the bathroom floor. James gripped the sides of the toilet bowl so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His head was above the bowl as he waited for his next bout of sickness. James didn't understand how even after all this time he could still be throwing up. What could he possibly have left in his stomach?

Logan rubbed circles in James' back when he wasn't flushing the toilet or wiping stray vomit from James' nose and mouth. He watched James like a hawk, his eyes full of concern.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Logan asked, James wincing at the accusing tone.

That wasn't even the worst part though; the worst part was that James wasn't even sure _what_ Logan was referring to. Bringing a girl home to sleep with? Being sick? Both? Something else? James stopped racking his brain; his head hurt far too much to think much.

"What hurts?" Logan inquired.

_Everything_. "My head," James replied hoarsely.

Logan got up to go fetch some aspirin. However, James didn't want Logan to leave him alone and grabbed his wrist with a surprisingly firm grip despite his fatigue.

"Don't leave me," James begged, eyes shimmering with tears.

"James, I'm just going to get you some medicine. I'll be right back. I promise," Logan replied.

James reluctantly let Logan go. It seemed like an unbearably long time before he returned with a bottle of pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Logan handed James the glass of water before he unscrewed the lid on the pill bottle. He shook a couple of pills into the palm of his hand and held them out to James.

"Here. Take these. They should help with your headache," Logan instructed.

James placed the pills on the back of his tongue before raising the glass of water to his mouth and taking a swig. In the meantime, Logan was holding a washcloth under running water. He wrung it out, folded it into a neat square, and held it to James' forehead.

"I can hold it," James said.

"Shh! Don't speak. Finish drinking the rest of the water," Logan said gesturing with his head towards the glass in James' hand.

James did as Logan asked. His throat still felt scratchy, but at least he wasn't as parched as he had been a little bit ago. James couldn't hold his head up anymore because he was so tired. Logan wrapped an arm around James' head. With his other hand, he kept the washcloth pressed against James' forehead. James rested his head on Logan's chest, snuggling up against him.

XXXXX

"I'm sorry," James said, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that he finally apologized to Logan.

"You're sorry? For what?" Logan replied though he had a pretty good idea what James was apologizing for.

"For everything."

Logan _wanted_ to stay mad at James; he certainly deserved it. However, he was having difficulty staying mad at James with him being as sick as he was. It wasn't that Logan would forget what James did, but maybe he could find it in his heart to at least forgive James for now.

"I was just…scared," James admitted.

Logan was shocked. It took a lot to scare James, but when he got scared, he _really_ got scared. Logan wasn't used to James being afraid of something; anything.

"I don't know what to do about my feelings for you," James said.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked.

James' forehead wrinkled in concentration. He was having a hard time putting in words exactly what it was he was thinking and feeling at the moment. It wasn't an easy thing to say, and once James admitted it, it would be out there and there would be no taking it back. That concerned James.

"I like you, Logan. Way more than a guy is _supposed_ to like his best guy friend. I think that's what really worries me. What if we don't work out? We've got a good thing going, you and I. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize our friendship," James explained.

It was uncanny how similar their thoughts were. Logan's cheeks heated up after he heard that James liked him. He felt the same way about James. Logan knew that he was a bit of a worry wart. He thought the reservations he had were his own when that couldn't be further from the truth.

"You could never lose me, James. You're stuck with me for life, so you better get used to it," Logan said, playfully nudging James with his elbow. "As for you and I hooking up, this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm game."

"You are?" James replied, jumping for joy on the inside.

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"You're saying none of the things I thought you'd be saying right now."

"Well what did you expect me to say?"

"That we should take things slowly. Or that you don't know about this. Or that we should just stay friends."

Logan was glad that James couldn't see his face given their positions because his lips turned downwards in a frown. _Is this how James really felt? Does he not even want to try? Why does it seem like we reversed roles? He sounds like the pessimistic one now._

"We can take this as fast or as slow as you want to. It's your call. I don't think I can be just friends with you, James. I care about you way too much to just be your friend. Your illness has me worried far more than I ever thought I would be and that's because I'm so scared of losing you. I can't stand the thought of ever losing you," Logan said.

James lifted his head up so that he could look Logan in the face. Logan had turned his head away. James reached out with his hand and gently turned Logan's face so that he was looking at him.

"Hey, you're not going to lose me, okay? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon," James said reassuringly.

However, Logan was far from convinced. "But you don't know that James! We still don't even know what's wrong with you! I don't think you realize how frustrating that is to me. I can't even do anything to help you! All I can do is watch you suffer while I'm powerless to do anything about it!"

Tears streamed down Logan's face. His sobs, though they were subdued, broke James' heart to see and hear. James wiped away Logan's tears with his thumb as they rolled down Logan's cheeks.

"Hey," James said.

No response.

"Hey, look at me. You _are_ helping me, Logie. More than anybody else. We may not know what's wrong with me, but whatever it is, we'll face it…_together_," James stated with conviction.

XXXXX

Carlos rubbed the sand from his eyes. He let out a huge yawn. He rolled out of bed and dragged his feet behind him as he lazily made his way to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. He was confused when he went to turn the bathroom light on because it was already on. His half-closed eyes bugged out when he saw James and Logan lying on the bathroom floor together sound asleep.

"No way!" Carlos commented to himself.

After sleeping on it, Carlos was no longer mad at James for elbowing him in the face. The more Carlos thought about it, the more he realized that had only been an unfortunate accident. Besides, after walking in on two of his best friends like…well like _this_, Carlos was far too giddy to be mad at anyone.

Carlos had a gargantuan grin on his face as he pondered whether he should wake Kendall up or get his phone and take video footage of this. He ultimately scurried off to his bedroom to retrieve his phone. If he recorded it, Kendall would be able to see it anyways. In his haste, he nearly dropped his phone countless times on his way back to the bathroom.

Carlos had one of those smart phones that had the capability of recording videos. He started recording his two sleeping best friends, smirking all the while. Logan had snuggled up next to James, lying on his side. James had both arms wrapped around Logan's waist, holding the smaller boy against him. James too was lying on his side.

Even though he was recording, Carlos snickered. The way that James and Logan ended up falling asleep together looked _so_ wrong that Carlos wasn't going to let them live this down _ever_. James'…_junk_…was right up against Logan's butt. Also, for some reason, there was a washcloth lying precariously on the side of Logan's head, forming a veritable eye patch.

"Welp, I guess Logan forgave James," Carlos commented out loud. "Wait until Kendall sees this!"

To Be Continued…

**A/N: I am no longer accepting anonymous reviews, so if you want to leave me a review, take a couple of seconds to log in first. It's just that when I have gotten flamed, it's been through anonymous reviews, so this is me trying to put a stop to that. I got a review for "Practice Makes Perfect" that said that I'm really good at writing Jagan. That made me smile at first, but then later it made me confused because Jagan isn't my OTP. Lol. It's a close second though. Maybe closer than I realized too…**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: What do you all think of "If I Ruled the World"? Did you all get it on iTunes yet? Haha. I'm plugging their stuff again. Lol. Oh, and just a word of warning, this chapter will be more comedic in nature than anything else. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Big Time Sick**

When James woke up, he found that he was holding a slumbering Logan. A smile flickered on his face. It felt so right to him to have Logan in his arms. However, all good things must come to an end, and this was no exception. For James soon saw Carlos recording him and Logan with his phone. James let out a high-pitched scream that startled Logan awake.

"Carlos, what are you doing?" James screeched.

"Don't mind me. Carry on. Pretend like I'm not even here," Carlos whispered in response.

"Don't record this!"

Logan raised up his head and rubbed the sand from his eyes, before blinking them. The first thing he noticed was that James had screamed like a girl for some reason unknown to Logan. The second thing he noticed was that someone seemed to have their arms wrapped around his waist. Based on the directionality of James' scream, odds are James had his arms wrapped around his waist. Before Logan could give that too much thought, the third thing he noticed was that Carlos was recording them with his phone.

"You better not post this online!" Logan warned.

Carlos chuckled nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Too late for that. My phone's set to automatically upload all photos and videos to my Scuttlebutter page," Carlos replied.

A vein in Logan's neck throbbed as his face turned scarlet. It was quite clear that Carlos didn't think about the repercussions of his actions. He never does. Logan was already brainstorming in his mind ways he could possibly explain his way out of this one because it was nearly a guarantee that he and James would need to.

"James, let go of me! Carlos, I'll give you three seconds to run. One," Logan started to count.

Carlos took off running right around the time that James reluctantly retracted his arms from around Logan. Unlike Logan, James wasn't really thinking about the gravity of their situation. The only thing on his mind was that Logan was no longer in his arms. The mere thought brought a small frown to his face.

"Two," Logan counted.

James could hear the scampering of feet as Carlos tried to put as much distance between himself and Logan before Logan reached the count of three. He rolled his eyes at the antics of two of his best friends. In spite of everything, his frown was even turned upside down.

"Three," Logan announced, before he bolted to his feet and gave chase.

XXXXX

Logan inevitably caught up to Carlos, and rather than punish _Carlos_, Logan decided to take Carlos' helmet hostage. As it was, there was no love lost between Logan and Carlos' helmet. Carlos no longer brought his helmet to the dinner table or photo shoots, but Logan nevertheless still couldn't stand the sight of his plastic nemesis.

A very helmet-less Carlos was sulking on the living room sofa. Without his trusty helmet perched on his head, he felt kind of naked. James and Logan were sitting on either side of them. Despite everything, Carlos managed to chuckle as he wondered why James and Logan weren't sitting _together_.

Logan informed Carlos of his punishment; a punishment that supposedly both he and James agreed on. Carlos may be an idiot at times, but he's not stupid; he knew that his punishment was all Logan's idea. James was just all too quick to go along with it, earning brownie points or whatever in Logan's eyes. At any rate, the punishment was that Carlos and his helmet would be separated for one whole week.

"You do know that Logan and I didn't actually _do_ anything last night, don't you?" James asked Carlos.

"It didn't look that way to me!" Carlos blurted out before clamping a hand over his mouth.

"We had our pajamas on!" Logan exclaimed.

"Yeah, but you could have very easily got dressed, you know, after you did the deed," Carlos said, snickering.

Logan and James both narrowed their eyes at Carlos, who immediately wiped the smirk off his face. Suddenly, he was entranced by the sofa cushion. Anything to not look at the withering gazes of James and Logan.

"Now that it's online, it's going to be online forever. Do you realize that? What do you think people are going to think when they see that? Did you ever think about that? Your actions have consequences, Carlos. It's about time you realize that," Logan scolded.

James fell silent for his own reasons. To him, it seemed like Logan was ashamed of the idea of the two of them being together. James personally didn't see what the big deal was. Then again, Logan did have a tendency to overreact and blow things out of proportion. James usually found this quality adorable, but not today.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't. I just…it was so funny. I…I couldn't help myself," Carlos said.

"Yeah, well just don't let it happen again," Logan said, before standing up from the couch.

Mrs. Knight walked into the living room. Katie had seen the video Carlos posted on his Scuttlebutter, and told her mother all about it. Mrs. Knight looked at it, and ever since then, looked as though she might blow a gasket. She always suspected as much, but this video just confirmed her suspicions.

"Sit down, Hortense!" Mrs. Knight ordered, emphatically pointing her index finger at the piece of furniture Logan had just got up from.

Carlos leaned over towards James, and whispered, "Uh-oh. _Someone_ is in trouble. Mama Knight just used his real name. That's never good…"

Even though James knew that he too was in trouble, he couldn't help but laugh at Carlos' remark. Logan turned his head to glare daggers at James who responded by merely shrugging his shoulders.

"Carlos, if you don't mind, I'd like to have a word with James and Logan," Mrs. Knight said.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight had wedged herself in between James and Logan on the sofa. Both James and Logan were far too scared to look her in the face. She was a great mother. Firm but flexible. However, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and Kendall had to get his anger management issues from _one_ of his parents. Three guesses who.

"I think it's time you and I had a talk," Mrs. Knight said.

Both James and Logan groaned loudly in response.

"You can't be serious!" James remarked.

This was awkward for Mrs. Knight too. James and Logan weren't even _her_ kids. Still, they obviously needed a refresher if the video was any indication. It was unclear who felt more awkward at the moment. However, if they were to live under her roof, they would have to follow her rules.

"Sometimes when two people have really strong feelings for one another…" Mrs. Knight started to say.

"Oh my gosh! She's actually doing this," Logan commented.

Meanwhile, James plugged his ears and was singing a seemingly endless chorus of "la"s.

This didn't fly with Mrs. Knight. She reached over and grabbed both of James' wrists, forcing him to unplug his ears. She gave him a look that was nearly Medusa-like that caused James' face to pale.

"Now, I'm sure it's a little different for two people of the same gender, but the underlying concept is the same…" Mrs. Knight explained.

"Stop! Just stop it forever! My parents have already given me the birds and the bees talk, okay?" Logan interrupted.

James was suddenly confused when Mrs. Knight turned to him for some odd reason.

"He did not just say that. Tell me he did not just say that!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed.

Logan swallowed a lump that was beginning to form in his throat. He slouched in the couch trying to hide himself from view.

"It's not what it looked like!" James exclaimed.

"Yeah! We didn't even do anything!" Logan added.

"Did I say you could talk?" Mrs. Knight roared, rounding on Logan.

"No, ma'am," Logan replied before slinking down even further in the sofa.

Mrs. Knight was so furious with both boys that she honestly could strangle both of them right now. What they do on their own personal time is their business, but Katie could have very easily walked in on them, and that makes it Mama Knight's business! She didn't care that they were teenage boys with raging hormones. Besides, Carlos and Kendall didn't seem to have any problems with their hormones! Next to James and Logan, Carlos and Kendall looked like saints.

"You know there's a reason when I decided the sleeping arrangements I didn't have you two room together," Mrs. Knight pointed out.

"Mama Knight, I swear nothing happened! I was just sick last night, and Logan was taking care of me! That's all!" James tried to reason.

Logan slapped his forehead. He knew that the chances of Mrs. Knight _not_ taking James' explanation the wrong way were slim to none. _Logan was taking care of me!_

"First of all, what did I tell you about swearing in the house?" Mrs. Knight retorted.

"My bad. I'm sorry," James responded.

"Second of all, I don't doubt that Logan took care of you!"

Logan buried his face in his hands. See? He knew Mrs. Knight would take that the wrong way. No surprise there. What he wouldn't give for an Invisibility Cloak right about now…

Mrs. Knight let out a loud sigh. She shook her head as she glanced from James to Logan. It was a small wonder she wasn't starting to get gray hairs from all this.

"What am I going to do with you two?" she asked rhetorically. After giving it some thought, she came up with a solution. "You leave me no choice. I'm going to have to call your parents."

"No!" James shouted.

"Not that!" Logan whined.

Truth be told, Mrs. Knight didn't relish the idea of telling the Diamonds or the Mitchells about their sons' _shenanigans_. Brooke Diamond was extremely overprotective of James. She came for Mother's Day and almost took James back to Minnesota with her because she missed her boy so much.

Joanna Mitchell wasn't much better. Logan's relationship with his mother was…_complicated_. Logan was a mama's boy, but he didn't like hugging or kissing his mother unless he was alone. It was actually Joanna Mitchell who had been the last to be talked into letting the boys move out to L.A. in the first place.

"Fine," Jennifer Knight conceded. "This kind of behavior cannot continue though. Do I make myself clear?"

James and Logan bobbed their heads up and down perhaps a bit more than was necessary. It felt like they no longer had a black cloud suspended over their heads.

"However, if it does continue, I _will _call your parents. I'm giving you a second chance, but you're not getting a third," Mrs. Knight stated.

"Are we…done…here?" James asked timidly.

"Not yet. Now let's talk about your punishment."

Both boys groaned. Logan used to be such a good boy too; never getting in trouble; never getting grounded. Then he met Kendall, James, and Carlos, and that was all shot to heck. Still though, Mrs. Knight wasn't even his mother! How was it fair that she could discipline him at all, guardian or not?

"James, you will do dishes for one month," Mrs. Knight said.

James felt like he got off easy. He was sure it could have been much worse. Mrs. Knight then turned to face Logan.

"Logan, you're in charge of laundry for one month," Jennifer Knight instructed.

Logan couldn't help but feel like he got the shorter end of the stick. He wrinkled his face in disgust at the mere thought of having to handle Mama Knight's…_delicates_. It would be different if it were Camille's or heck, even the Jennifers (the _other _Jennifers). But Mrs. Knight was how old? That was just gross. Not to mention having to handle Carlos' soiled drawers. Yeah…Logan would definitely have to invest in some latex gloves. Maybe Buddha Bob could hook him up with some for free…

"Now you can go," Mrs. Knight said.

Neither James nor Logan needed to be told twice. Neither could get away from Mrs. Knight fast enough. Both made a point to take entirely different paths and stay far away from one another so as to not give Mrs. Knight any more ideas.

"Wow! You're still alive!" Katie commented as Logan walked passed her. "I'm impressed!"

"Traitor," Logan muttered under his breath.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: "Big Time Single" airs tomorrow! Yay! I'm…not sure…how I feel about this chapter. I'm still…something's still…off…with me. I'm not even sure what it is either. Anyways, I hope this chapter was at least…tolerable…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Kendall was absolutely livid. He had just gone to his Scuttlebutter page when he saw that Carlos had uploaded a video recently. Not thinking much of it, Kendall played the video; what he saw blew his mind. Did anyone else know about this? If so, how come no one thought to tell him about it? Why didn't Carlos tell him about it? His hands balled up into fists at his side. He stormed over to James' room. The door was closed, and Kendall surprised himself when he rapped his knuckles against the door rather than just barge right in.

"James, you and I need to talk _now_!" Kendall shouted, leaving no doubt in his mind that James had heard him.

The boy in question cringed. He knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. He may be an idiot at times, but this kind of reaction from Kendall was to be expected. Still though, it didn't stop James from wishing that Kendall would take this in stride. James opened the door. He figured if he delayed the inevitable any longer, Kendall would kick the door down.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kendall hollered, roughly shoving his cell phone against James' chest.

The taller boy didn't need to look at the device to know what Kendall was referring to. His heart was pounding in his chest. Kendall was scary when he was angry. Few people had the gumption to go toe-to-toe with him, and for good reason.

"Nothing happened! You're overreacting!" James exclaimed.

"Am I? I seem to recall me telling you to stay away from Logan. Does _this_ look like you're staying away?" Kendall retorted waving his cell phone in James' face.

Adrenaline was coursing through James' veins. This whole situation was sparking a chain reaction in James; he and Kendall were like two bulls locking horns. Everything Kendall was saying and doing was instilling a confidence in James that lesser men lacked when facing a furious Kendall. It brought pent up feelings to the forefront.

"Why?" James asked.

"Why what?" Kendall replied, his voice dripping with venom.

"Why is it that when you say jump, I'm supposed to say how high? You may be the leader of the band because you're Gustavo's favorite, but outside of Big Time Rush, there is no leader!"

For a split second, Kendall was shocked into silence. He was impressed that James was standing up to him. That awe evaporated immediately though. Soon, all Kendall could think about was James' insubordination. He could hear the resentment in the other boy's voice. Had it always been there?

"You know what your problem is, Kendall?" James shot back.

"My ears are burning," Kendall remarked sarcastically.

"You have a superiority complex. It's your way or the highway. You let the fact that you're the leader of the band get to your head. Kendall always knows best. Kendall can do no wrong. Honestly, I'm starting to get sick of it!"

Kendall laughed obnoxiously. He gave James an 'Are you serious?' look.

"Really? Really, James? _I_ have a big head? This coming from you of all people? You have to be the most arrogant, egotistical, self-centered idiot I know!"

That was the last straw for James. He quickly got in Kendall's face, towering over him slightly. Both boys had looks of fury on their faces. Both boys had their nostrils flaring. If they were cartoon characters, both boys would have steam coming from their heads.

"What is your problem with me, huh? Nothing happened between me and Logan, but even if it had, why can't you just be happy for us?" James commented.

"Because I'm too busy trying to protect Logan from you! That's why!" Kendall retorted.

The truth of the matter was that as much as James resented Kendall, Kendall resented James just as much, if not more. After all, James and Logan were friends first. There used to be a time when Logan would always side with Kendall. Logan would follow Kendall without question. Over time, Kendall could tell that he was starting to lose Logan…to James.

"You don't need to protect Logan from me! I would never do anything to hurt him!" James remarked.

"Look at your track record, James! I don't know if you realize this or not, but you're a player! You break up with girls before they have a chance to break up with you! Do you honestly expect me to believe that you would be any different with Logan? Maybe you do genuinely like Logan, but who's to say whether or not he's just your flavor of the week? Heck, you might even move on to someone else as soon as tomorrow. Maybe even later today. You may have had more dates than me, but when's the last time you actually had a meaningful relationship with someone? Oh, wait. That's right. You haven't!" Kendall exclaimed.

For all intents and purposes, that might as well have been a low blow. James felt like he was on the hockey rink and had just been checked into the boards…_hard_. There was a sharp intake of air. That was followed by him having difficulty breathing. Now there was more than just rage in James' eyes; there was betrayal. He couldn't believe that someone who was supposed to be his best friend could say such horrible things about him.

The next thing James knew, his fingers had wrapped themselves around Kendall's throat as he was crushing his windpipes. However, Kendall was strangling James as well. Both boys had malicious intent on their minds.

Kendall was doing this for Logan's sake. He had always been the protector of the group. He just never imagined he would have to protect Logan from James. He especially never thought he would have to _physically_ protect Logan from James.

James was doing this because Kendall was a roadblock. He stood in the way of him and Logan ever having a chance. James knew that Kendall was fiercely protective of Logan, but a part of James couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to this. Perhaps Kendall was _jealous_ of James.

"That's enough!" Logan said, wedging himself in between his two feuding friends and shoving them away from one another.

Up until this point, Kendall and James hadn't even considered the possibility of someone else being in the apartment with them. Had Logan been in the apartment this whole time? If so, why was he just now deciding to break this up? Was anyone else in the apartment?

"What's the matter with you two?" Logan demanded.

Kendall and James both tried to explain the situation to Logan, but that quickly got out of hand as they ended up shouting over one another, and Logan couldn't make heads or tails out of anything they were saying.

"Stop it!" Logan screamed.

Kendall and James were surprised that Logan was yelling, but at the same time they weren't. It wasn't that Logan never got mad. He just wasn't confrontational. On the rare occasions that he actually got angry at someone, Kendall and James learned that the best course of action was to just give Logan some time to cool off. On the flip side, they were all supposed to be best friends, so of course Logan wouldn't want them to fight. Like Carlos, he wanted everyone to get along.

"Don't think I didn't hear what the two of you said to each other because I heard every single word of it. I thought the two of you would get it all out of your systems and go back to being friends, but when I saw that wasn't going to happen, I decided enough was enough. Now apologize to one another," Logan commanded.

Kendall and James both folded their arms over their chests and refused to look at one another. Neither was uttering anything close to an apology. They did however have a few choice words that they were muttering under their breath.

Logan let out an exasperated sigh. How was it that he was the one who ended up taking charge of the situation? Usually, Logan shied away from taking on any leadership responsibilities. It wasn't that he wasn't capable of being a leader; he just didn't like the pressure that came with having to make big decisions. He much rather someone else make the big decisions. Logan was perfectly content with being a follower. Besides, he was already indecisive enough as it was.

"James, you and I have been best friends from the beginning," Logan said. James smirked triumphantly. "But Kendall and I are best friends too, so don't make me choose."

James smirk was wiped clean off his face after hearing that. Logan didn't want to choose. It felt like the knife that Kendall had already put in his back was being twisted by Logan. There was no doubt in James' mind who Logan _should_ choose. He said it himself; he and James had been best friends longer.

Out of nowhere, there was this searing pain in James' head. He squeezed his eyes shut, and raked at the sides of his head to the point where he drew blood. James felt woozy as evidenced by his stumbling gait. The next thing anyone knew, there was a loud crash and James fell to the floor, knocking everything off his nightstand on the way down.

"James!" Logan cried out, quickly kneeling down beside his friend.

There was good news and bad news. The good news was that James was no longer clawing at his temples. The bad news was that James lay perfectly still. His eyes weren't clenched tightly anymore, but they remained closed nevertheless. Even as Logan shook James, he remained unresponsive.

"James, wake up! Kendall, call 911!" Logan instructed.

Kendall stood there with his arms folded over his chest looking at James with indifference. When Logan didn't hear Kendall on the phone with anybody, he rounded on him, eyes wide with shock.

"What are you waiting for?" Logan demanded.

In a reprehensible display, Kendall walked away from James and Logan, not once stopping to look back. Logan was disgusted by Kendall's behavior. He realized that he and James had just got into a serious fight, but that was no excuse for turning his back on James when something was clearly wrong with him. He fumbled in his pocket for his own cell phone, which he hastily removed. He dialed the three numbers that no one should ever have to dial.

"911, what is your emergency?" the dispatcher asked.

"I need an ambulance to The Palm Woods. Apartment 2J. Something's wrong with my friend. He fell to the ground and is unresponsive," Logan explained, staying remarkably calm.

"Is your friend breathing?"

Logan pressed his ear against James' chest because he didn't see it rise and fall like it should. He was breathing erratically, but Logan took comfort in the fact that at least James was breathing.

"Barely," Logan replied.

"Paramedics are on the way. Stay on the line with me until they get there, okay?" the dispatcher responded.

Logan nodded his head even though there was no way the dispatcher would have been able to see that. His voice may sound calm, but it betrayed how he really felt. He wasn't sure what happened exactly, but he had every reason to believe that if Kendall hadn't got into a huge fight with James, none of this would have ever happened.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Will you look at that? I wrote Kendall in an unfavorable light again. Shocker! But James didn't exactly come across as a saint in this chapter either. As for Carlos, he was mysteriously absent in this chapter. Yeah…I don't know how that happened. Did you even like this chapter? I accomplished everything I set out to accomplish in this chapter. I just don't know how good the execution was. Oh, and apparently, the majority of you want me to focus on writing two stories. I'm going to put a new poll on my profile page asking you what two stories you want me to continue. Keep in mind that I will still finish the two not picked, just at a later date when the two that you did pick are finished. Thank you so much for not saying to continue writing all four stories. I learned my lesson. Never again! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So the vast majority of you want me to focus on finishing this story and In the Beginning first. Now I ask you when do you want this to start? Like now, now? Because if so, No Way Out and What If won't be updated in awhile. Just a heads up.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Big Time Rush because they would have had a new episode by now. Seriously, what is up with that? **

**Big Time Sick**

James woke up only to find himself in a hospital room. Carlos and Logan had pulled up a chair on either side of his hospital bed, but neither were sitting in it. They were standing up, and as soon as James cracked his eyes open, he could see them hovering over him…_literally_. James' younger friends had enormous, lopsided grins on their faces, overjoyed that he was finally awake.

"James, you're awake!" Logan beamed.

"Yeah, about time, _Sleeping Beauty_!" Carlos teased.

James smiled back at his friends, but that smile quickly disappeared when he scanned the room. There was no sign of Kendall. James felt like he shouldn't really be surprised; after all, the two of them had a huge fight just before James…well before whatever happened.

"Where's Kendall? In the cafeteria or restroom or something?" James asked.

Logan frowned. Even Carlos dropped back in his seat silently.

"James, Kendall's not here. He didn't want to come with us," Logan answered.

"Oh," James said as nonchalantly as he could, not knowing how successful he truly was.

Carlos twiddled his thumbs and avoided making further eye contact with James. The atmosphere in the room was no longer light. Carlos hated that his friends were fighting. From what Logan had told him, it was a pretty serious fight too. Carlos also hated that he wasn't there when James collapsed.

"How are you feeling?" Logan asked, quickly changing the subject.

James shrugged his shoulders. In all honesty, he's felt better. He just didn't want to tell Logan and Carlos that because he didn't want to worry them more than they already were. He was really groggy, and he ached all over.

"Do you need anything?" Logan inquired.

James nodded his head, quickly wondering when he became incapable of saying a response. After realizing what it was exactly that he needed Logan's help with…Well, it didn't have to be _Logan_ that helped him, but it would be nice if it was. James wouldn't lie. At any rate, James started chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Logan asked.

"I need help going to the bathroom," James answered.

"Oh. Well, are you sure? I mean you really don't think you can go on your own?"

Logan's cheeks started to flush, and James chuckled even louder. Logan bashfully rubbed the back of his neck, and immediately averted his gaze. James didn't understand what the big deal was. Logan's…_hesitance_…was hysterical.

"Just so we're clear, do you need to go number one or number two?" Logan asked.

"Number one. I think I can manage sitting on a toilet all on my own, thank you very much," James remarked.

"Oh."

"Well don't say it like that!"

"Don't say it like what?"

"Forget it."

"You're the one who brought it up!"

James stuck his tongue out at Logan, who instantly returned the favor. Despite really feeling like the third wheel, Carlos started snickering. He was grateful for the change in atmosphere.

"What are you laughing at?" James and Logan asked Carlos in stereo.

This only made Carlos laugh even harder. Logan turned to James.

"We really have to stop doing that," he said.

After Carlos finally gained his composure a few minutes later, he gave his delayed response.

"You two bicker like an old, married couple, and the way you say the same thing at the same time is hilarious!" Carlos commented.

"Hey, I am _not_ old!" James remarked.

Logan rolled his eyes. Out of all the things Carlos said, _that_ had to be what James took offense to. Logan was glad that James apparently forgot all about having to go to the bathroom. At least that's what Logan thought.

"Logie, so are you going to help me go to the bathroom or not?" James asked.

"I still don't understand why you can't just go on your own," Logan responded.

"And I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this."

All eyes were on Logan, and he was none too pleased about this. He stared at the floor, rubbing his neck yet again. He didn't want to tell James and Carlos _why_ he didn't want to go help James go to the bathroom; they would just laugh at him.

"Come on, Logie. You know you can tell me anything," James said.

Logan threw his hands up in frustration. Stupid peer pressure!

"Fine! It's just…I've never seen your…you know…_it_ before," Logan replied.

"But you have seen _it_ before, haven't you?" James asked.

"Well, yes and no."

"It?" Carlos commented, knitting his eyebrows in confusion.

Rage started to build within James. Whose _it_ had Logan seen? He didn't much like the idea of Logan looking at someone else's _it_. Kendall. James would bet anything it was Kendall's. After all, he and Logan were roommates. It was bound to happen.

"What do you mean yes and no?" James questioned a bit harsher than he intended.

Logan backed up a bit, falling down into his chair.

"I haven't seen anyone's _it_ per se. Only pictures and stuff," Logan answered.

"Is that so? Well, whose _it_ have you been looking at then?" James demanded.

"I don't know! It's not like they're labeled!"

"I can't believe you look at that kind of stuff!"

"What kind of stuff?"

James was absolutely livid. It was bad enough when James thought Logan had seen Kendall's _it_. Now apparently, Logan enjoys looking at…_adult_…pictures in his free time. Logan was the last person James thought would look at that kind of stuff. Here he thought Logan was so innocent.

"So, where do you find these pictures?" James asked.

"Biology textbooks usually have them," Logan responded.

"Biology textbooks?"

James slapped his forehead. He really felt like an idiot now. Apparently, he and Logan had been talking about two entirely different things. James had to admit that he was glad Logan was back to being the innocent guy he thought he was.

"I'm so confused. Is anyone else confused? No? Just me?" Carlos commented.

"If you know what _it_ looks like, then what's the big deal?" James asked, completely ignoring Carlos.

"Because," Logan said exasperatedly. "I've never seen anyone's _it_, you know…in person."

"You are such a…a…"

"You can't even think of the word, can you?"

"Shut up!"

Much to James' chagrin, Logan started snickering. James didn't mean to, but the next thing he knew, he had his arms folded over his chest, and for all intents and purposes, it looked as though he was pouting. It's not _his_ fault if he didn't know what the word was. He was the pretty one! He wasn't the smart one! That was Logan!

"If you don't want to help me, I can just get Carlos then," James said.

"No!" Logan yelled. He cleared his throat, before speaking in a much calmer tone. "No. I'll do it."

James dangled his feet over his hospital bed. He hesitantly placed his bare feet on the hospital floor, hissing at how cold it was. A light bulb went off in his head. A sly smile formed on his face. He took one tentative step before falling forward. Just as he counted on, Logan caught him before he fell flat on his face.

James enjoyed having both of Logan's arms wrapped securely around his waist. One of James' arms was draped loosely over Logan's shoulder. He felt a small twinge of guilt when he saw how Logan's eyes shone with concern.

"James, are you okay?" he asked.

"I guess I'm feeling a little dizzy," James lied.

"Just take it slow."

James leaned on Logan a bit more than was probably necessary. He was perfectly content with letting Logan do all the work. The only problem with that was the discrepancy in their sizes.

"James, do you think you can help me out here? You're kind of heavy," Logan commented.

"Are you calling me fat?" James retorted.

"I can help!" Carlos exclaimed.

"It's okay, Carlos. We can manage," James instantly replied, shuffling his feet.

Logan rolled his eyes. James had been faking it. Logan thought as much. Together, the two of them made it to the bathroom in no time at all. After making sure James was steady on his feet, Logan shut the door behind them.

"Do you really think I'm fat?" James asked.

"I thought you had to go pee!" Logan exclaimed.

"Answer the question!"

"Oh my gosh! I don't think you're fat, James! It's just, I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but you're taller than me. Couple that with the fact that you weren't even _trying_ to walk, and it was a little hard for me to get you to the bathroom all on my own!"

Both boys fell silent. James stood before the porcelain bowl, and lifted up his hospital gown. Seconds turned into minutes.

"Well?" Logan asked, growing impatient.

"I'm sorry! You're making me nervous," James replied.

"You're the one who wanted _me_ to come help you!"

"No, if I remember correctly, _you_ are the one who wanted to come help _me_! I was going to have Carlos help me, remember? Besides, I see that you're really helping me standing all the way over there!"

Logan groaned loudly. He wouldn't be surprised if after the day was over he started to have some gray hairs.

"Well excuse me, but when you said that you needed help going to the bathroom, I thought you just meant getting to the bathroom!" Logan retorted.

"If I had meant that, don't you think I would have asked you to help me get _to_ the bathroom?" James responded.

"Well, what do you want me to do then? Hold your…your…_it_?"

"Oh no! I wouldn't want to put you through that trouble. You might have to look at my _it_!"

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"So what if I am?"

"Knock it off! I'm the sarcastic one!"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"If you weren't sick, I would…"

"You would what? Come on, Logan. What would you do, huh? I'm not scared of you."

"You know what, James? Go to the bathroom on your own! I'm out of here!"

Logan opened the bathroom door a crack, before James ran over and slammed it shut. Logan spun around on his heels, facing James.

"What did you do that for?" Logan asked.

James lowered his face to Logan's. He cupped the smaller boy's face with his hands. He captured Logan's lips in his own. James pressed his body up against Logan's, pinning him against the door. Logan was surprised at first, but then started to return James' kiss. Logan let out a gasp.

"What's wrong?" James asked, afraid that he might have been too rough with Logan.

"I uh…I think little James is ready for duty now," Logan said, out of breath.

"Oh, right."

James walked back over to the toilet, and relieved himself. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Logan walk over to stand beside him. He smirked triumphantly. He knew Logan couldn't resist looking at his _it_.

"James," Logan said, his tone suddenly serious.

"What?" James asked, confused.

"How long has your pee looked like that?"

James' urine was a really dark color, and while James thought nothing of it, to Logan, this was a cause for concern. Normally, urine wasn't supposed to be that dark. He thought this could be a breakthrough. They might finally be able to get to the bottom of what was wrong with James. Logan already had one hypothesis in mind.

"I don't know. It's not like I bring my journal in with me when I go to the bathroom!" James remarked.

"You keep a journal?" Logan asked, chuckling.

"There's nothing wrong with keeping a journal!"

"Sure, if you're a girl!"

"Shut up!"

James didn't know what to make of Logan starting to leave the bathroom. James finished going to the bathroom, and covered himself up the best he could manage with his hospital gown.

"Hey, where are you going?" James asked.

"I'm going to find a doctor. I'm going to talk to him about running a test on you," Logan answered.

"A test?"

James could tell from the excitement in Logan's voice that something was up. He wondered what it was. He also wondered why Logan wasn't telling him anything more. Why would Logan ask a doctor to run a test on James? Wait a second. Did Logan know what was wrong with James?

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Yeah, so this was either a complete success or a complete failure when it came to the humor. I personally thought it was funny, but that could have just been me. I have to start getting ready for work. I just wanted to get this up before I left. I'll reply to reviews later tonight, okay? **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So my brother's wedding went well. Now I have a new sister-in-law. Hopefully, now that I don't have anything on my plate other than work, I can update more regularly.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Logan had managed to chase down James' primary doctor, Dr. Worthington. He was a middle-aged man with a receding hairline, athletic build, and thick glasses that fell over his angular nose. Logan thought he felt short next to James, but standing next to Dr. Worthington, Logan felt like a midget.

"What do you want? I have other patients to attend to," the doctor said, visibly annoyed.

Logan wasn't going to lie; he was intimidated by Dr. Worthington. Though the doctor's line of work involved _helping_ people rather than _hurting_ them, Logan had no doubt in his mind that Dr. Worthington could do precisely that if he wanted to.

"I…uh…think I know what's wrong with James," Logan answered nervously.

Dr. Worthington scoffed.

"Yeah right, _kid_," the doctor said with disdain. "I've been a doctor longer than you've been alive, and I don't even know what is wrong with your friend; or if anything is even wrong with him."

"Of course something's wrong with him!" Logan exclaimed, surprising himself.

Dr. Worthington roughly brushed past Logan as he walked by him, nearly bowling him over in the process. Logan managed to keep his balance though. He hated Dr. Worthington, and that was saying something too because Logan didn't hate anyone. It probably had something to do with the doctor's superiority complex. He was a know-it-all. Logan was brilliant himself, but at least he was willing to admit when he was wrong.

"I want you to do a liver biopsy on James," Logan called out.

Dr. Worthington stopped in his tracks. For a split second, he considered the possibility that Logan might actually be telling the truth; he might actually know what is wrong with James. However, that didn't last very long.

"On what grounds?" Dr. Worthington asked, spinning around on his heels to face the teenager.

Even though Logan was pessimistic, he was hopeful that Dr. Worthington was at the very least _considering_ what he had to say. After all, they both wanted the same thing, didn't they? They both wanted James to get better.

"James' fainting could be due to excessive fatigue, a symptom of liver disease," Logan explained.

"_Or_ a sign of dehydration," Dr. Worthington interjected.

"His urine is dark; another symptom of liver disease."

"I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for that."

Logan was a patient person, but even he was starting to lose his patience with the doctor. It seemed like Dr. Worthington was shooting down every idea he had. Logan felt like an idiot for believing for one second that the doctor might actually consider what he had to say.

"I'm sorry, but what do _you_ know about the field of medicine?" Dr. Worthington remarked condescendingly.

"I've wanted to be a doctor since I was a little kid," Logan replied.

"Wanting to be a doctor and actually _being_ a doctor are two entirely different things!"

Dr. Worthington hated to admit it, but Logan might actually be onto something. He had no idea that James' pee was dark. It very well could be a problem with the liver. Of course, he wasn't going to let Logan know that though.

"The liver converts ammonia into urea," Logan stated.

"Don't patronize me! I know that!" Dr. Worthington commented.

Logan wasn't much of a fighter either, but he had his fists clenched at his side. He didn't care if the doctor was bigger than him, and would probably kick his butt. How was it okay for him to patronize Logan, but he couldn't patronize the doctor? How was that fair at all? Adults…

"We've already run a bevy of tests on your friend," Dr. Worthington said.

"But have you done a liver biopsy? I doubt you have because you had no idea that something might be wrong with James' liver until I told you so. Isn't that right, _doctor_?" Logan said, his voice dripping with venom. "That's right. This _kid_ knows more than you think he does."

Dr. Worthington's nostrils flared. Who did this _kid_ think he was talking to him like that? He had an inkling to put the little punk in his place himself. Granted, he'd probably lose his medical license if he put his hands on a civilian, but it would almost be worth it. In all his years as a doctor, he's dealt with more than his fair share of difficult friends and families of patients, but Logan just might take the cake.

"What? Are you afraid that I might actually be right, and therefore you might actually be wrong? Oh, that's right; in order to be wrong, you would need to have some hypothesis; some sort of idea as to what's wrong in the first place, but you don't, do you?" Logan commented.

Logan had no idea where he was getting all this courage from. It must be the adrenaline coursing through his veins; making him say and do things he wouldn't normally say or do.

"Keep it up! Keep it up, and I'll _gladly_ have security escort you out of here!" the doctor warned.

"For what? Speaking my mind? Standing up to you? You probably didn't expect that, did you? You're probably not used to that, are you? Least of all from a little _kid_ like me!" Logan retorted.

"You're wasting my time!"

The doctor turned around, and started to walk away from Logan. Logan wasn't going to have any of that though, and ran up to the doctor, grabbing him by the arm. Logan was shoved backwards into a cart of medical equipment. The cart toppled over, taking Logan with it. The sound of metal clanging echoed through the halls of the hospital.

Dr. Worthington went on his way as though he _didn't_ just shove Logan into a cart of medical equipment.

"Are you alright, sweetie?" a black female nurse asked, crouching down beside Logan.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered though admittedly he was shocked by what just happened.

It was no secret that none of the staff at the hospital liked Dr. Worthington. He plain and simple was a bully. He thought just because he was bigger than everyone else that he was better than everyone else. The hospital actually had a fairly high turnover rate because people just couldn't stand working with him.

Logan helped the nurse get the cart upright, and then started to place the equipment back on the cart.

"Don't worry about that, honey. Get back to your friend. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you," the nurse said, smiling almost maternally at Logan.

"Are you sure?" Logan asked.

"Positive. Now go on."

Logan didn't need to be told twice. He wanted to see James. The nurse was right; James would definitely want to see Logan too. He hurried off to James' hospital room.

XXXXX

"Hey, James! Did you miss me?" Logan asked.

"Do you even need to ask?" James replied.

James' eyes shone with concern when Logan hissed in pain as James was hugging him. He instantly dropped his arms, afraid of hurting Logan further.

"What's wrong?" James inquired.

Logan backed up just enough so that he was out of James' reach. Carlos rose from his chair on the other side of James' bed. He too had a worried expression on his face.

"It's nothing," Logan said, keeping his head down so that he wouldn't have to look at either James or Carlos.

James felt fury building up inside of him. Logan was hurt. Someone had obviously hurt him. James just wished that Logan would tell them what happened. Who had hurt him. James hadn't felt this way since Logan was bullied in school. Even back then, it was the same story. Logan would pretend like nothing was even wrong. James had no idea why though. It might be because Logan didn't wanting them to worry about him.

"Come here," James ordered.

"Really, I'm fine," Logan responded.

"Come here!"

James emphatically pointed at the spot where Logan had been moments ago at the side of James' hospital bed. Logan lowered his head, and meandered over to James.

"Now turn around," James commanded.

Logan did as he was asked so that his back was to James. The latter slowly lifted the former's shirt up. As James' eyes roamed over Logan's naked torso, he quickly found spots where Logan had already started to bruise. James' eyes darkened as soon as he saw this.

"What happened? How did you get these bruises?" James demanded, lowering Logan's shirt.

"It's no big deal," Logan replied.

Carlos walked around the bed to Logan, placing a hand on his shoulder. Carlos couldn't help but notice that Logan flinched from the contact. Carlos' first reaction was that Logan had hurt his shoulder too.

"Did you hurt your shoulder too?" Carlos asked, withdrawing his hand.

"I don't know," Logan answered timidly.

"But you _did_ get hurt, right?" James questioned. "Who? Who hurt you?"

For Carlos and James, a familiar feeling washed over them as their protective instincts kicked in. This was exactly how it happened when Logan used to get bullied at school too. He would say it was no big deal when that couldn't be further from the truth. Was it so much to ask that for once in his life, Logan _wouldn't_ get bullied?

Logan hated how the focus had shifted to him. He wasn't even the one who was sick! He hated being the center of attention. He especially hated it when the others babied him. Sure, he was a little worse for wear after Dr. Worthington shoved him into the cart of medical equipment, but Carlos and James didn't need to fuss over him because of it.

"I asked Dr. Worthington if he would do a liver biopsy on you," Logan said, desperate to change the subject.

James had no idea what a liver biopsy was, but that wasn't what got his attention; he started to put two and two together. Logan had just admitted to talking to Dr. Worthington. After talking with him, Logan has bruises up and down his back. Could it be? Did James' doctor hurt Logan?

"He did it, didn't he? He's the one who hurt you?" James asked.

Logan was fearful of retaliation if he ratted Dr. Worthington out, so he bit his tongue. Just like when Logan got bullied at school, telling on the bully inevitably only made things worse for Logan.

"We have to tell someone! He can't get away with this!" Carlos remarked.

"No!" Logan shouted. "I…I deserved it. I pushed his buttons, and I shouldn't have."

Carlos and James hated how Logan had just said that he _deserved_ getting hurt. There was no excuse for Dr. Worthington putting his hands on Logan, period!

"Don't you want to know what a liver biopsy is, James?" Logan asked, trying to change the subject again.

"Logan, stop doing that!" James scolded.

"Stop doing what?"

"You know what!"

"You see, what they do is they take a needle, and…"

"Logan!"

Carlos was the only one in the room who thought about calling Kendall and telling him what happened to Logan. James was probably still mad at Kendall for the huge fight the two of them recently had before James was taken to the hospital. Logan was probably still mad at Kendall for standing by and not calling 911 when James collapsed.

Carlos was sure Kendall would want to know though. Despite all of them having protective instincts, Kendall was the bona fide protector of the group; especially when it came to Logan. Wasn't that why he and James got into a huge fight in the first place? Because Kendall was trying to protect Logan?

Unbeknownst to James and Logan, Carlos slipped out of the room to do just that; call Kendall. Logan was too busy being evasive while James was too busy trying to get the truth out of Logan for them to notice that Carlos was no longer in the room with them.

"Hello?" Kendall said upon answering his cell phone.

"Kendall, it's Carlos. You need to come to the hospital. Now," Carlos responded.

To Be Continued…


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm sorry it's been awhile. Here's where my head's at; it's not that I'm not inspired to write; I just need some motivation. I don't mean getting a gazillion reviews. It's not even about that. I don't need you to worship the ground I walk on either. To be frank, I don't even know what I need right now. A good kick in the butt, so that I get in gear maybe. Just joking…No seriously, please don't kick me. It's all good. See? I'm updating…**

**Disclaimer: I'm one Boardwalk game piece away from winning a million dollars in McDonald's Monopoly game. (Geez, now I'm plugging their stuff too…) But until then, I own nothing. Besides, me and probably about 100,000 other people just need Boardwalk, so you know…**

**Big Time Sick**

Kendall was a friend on a mission. Dr. Worthington was the matador with his red, billowing cape, and Kendall was the charging bull. It's no surprise that as soon as he got that call from Carlos, he went to the hospital right away. He didn't even wait for his mom to finish with her errands so she could drive him. He scraped together all the money he had in his wallet (which wasn't much) and took a taxi instead.

Kendall chuckled at the irony of the situation. It seemed fitting that all this would go down at a hospital. When Kendall was through with Dr. Worthington, the not-so-good doctor would need his own private room. Kendall would see to that. _Nobody_ messed with his friends and got away with it!

It was funny that his hatred towards James' doctor made Kendall forget all about his personal issues with James himself. The rivals now shared a common enemy in Dr. Worthington.

The poor taxi driver was probably glad when Kendall reached his destination at long last. Kendall had heckled the poor fellow the whole way. He gave the driver a piece of his mind when he didn't cross an intersection on a yellow light; choosing to stop instead. Every time the driver slowed down at all, Kendall would let out an audible groan.

Kendall had no patience for the elevator. With the way things were going, it'd probably end up breaking down with him in it. There was no way Kendall was going to take a chance on that.

When Kendall reached the floor James was on, Kendall darted down the crowded hallways muttering half-apologies to everyone he bowled into along the way. All the while, Kendall was keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of Dr. Worthington. Truthfully, Kendall was torn; a huge part of him wanted to pound the doctor into a pulp. At the same time, he wanted, no he _needed_ to make sure that Logan was okay. He needed to see that with his own eyes.

Logan was sitting on the floor outside of James' hospital room with his back against the wall. He quickly rose to his feet when he saw Kendall barreling down the hallway towards him. He noticed how Kendall's hands were balled up into fists, and Logan said the first thing that popped in his mind.

"You're not going to hit me, are you?" Logan asked, before squeezing his eyes shut and shrinking back as far as the wall would allow him to.

What Logan wasn't expecting was the bear hug Kendall gave him. Kendall literally lifted Logan up off the ground and swung him around in an embrace that turned quite a few heads. Logan tried not to, but he inevitably ended up hissing in pain because Kendall's embrace only exacerbated his injuries.

"Oops! I'm sorry," Kendall said before gently setting Logan down.

Logan wasn't sure what exactly Kendall was apologizing for; not calling 911 when James collapsed; or nearly crushing his ribs with his hug a few seconds ago. Or maybe Kendall was apologizing for everything.

"Where is he?" Kendall asked, his eyes darting around wildly still searching for Dr. Worthington.

"He who?" Logan replied.

Logan honestly didn't know who Kendall was looking for. James? That kind of seemed unlikely given the falling out the two of them had recently. However, James _was_ currently in the hospital…

Logan was pretty sure that Kendall was looking for Dr. Worthington. He just wanted Kendall to confirm his suspicions. Whenever Logan got picked on by bullies at school, Kendall was always the first one to get retribution.

"The doctor. I'm going to kick his butt!" Kendall exclaimed.

As weird as it seemed, if it actually came to a fight, which a part of Logan hoped it wouldn't, it could go either way. Sure Dr. Worthington was bigger and could inflict more damage if he got his hands on Kendall, but Kendall had a history of anger management issues, and when he got angry, look out!

"Your guess is as good as mine," Logan answered meekly.

Dr. Worthington was the kind of doctor Logan _didn't_ want to be. He had no morals. He had no scruples. At the end of the day, he wasn't in his line of work to help people, he was in it for the paycheck.

"Look I don't know who called you or what you've been told, but it's no big deal. No one laid a hand on me. I was just being my normal clumsy self," Logan lied.

The problem was that the four of them were such good friends that they could easily tell when they were being lied to.

"I can't believe it! You're defending him!" Kendall exclaimed.

"What? Is that what you think?" Logan retorted.

"It sure sounds like it!"

The two boys were now shouting at one another, garnering them some weird looks from people passing by. However, Logan and Kendall remained unfazed and unaware that they even had an audience.

"You know Kendall, I'm not some damsel in distress!" Logan commented.

"No, you're just an easy target!" Kendall countered.

"Gee Kendall, tell me what you _really _think!"

Kendall immediately regretted his choice of words. He couldn't believe how sidetracked he was getting. He came to the hospital to get payback on Dr. Worthington, and now he was in a heated argument with Logan, the very person he was seeking justice for.

"Why did you even come here?" Logan asked, his voice softening.

"I think you and I both know the answer to that question," Kendall replied, following suit, and lowering his voice as well.

Logan sighed. Kendall was right. They both knew that Kendall didn't come to the hospital to see James; he came for Logan.

"Well you should go home. After you stood by and did nothing when James collapsed, I don't _want_ you here," Logan said.

Kendall placed a hand on Logan's shoulder just as he turned around to walk away. Logan was starting to think that perhaps there was some truth to what Carlos said earlier about Logan having injured his shoulder. He ground his teeth together, trying to will out the pain.

"Don't you see what James is trying to do here? He's trying to come between us," Kendall said. "What happened to us, Logan? You and I used to be close."

Logan brushed Kendall's hand off his shoulder before wheeling around to look him straight in the face as he spoke.

"Are you kidding me? Do you even hear what you're saying? James isn't trying to come between us, Kendall! You're doing a bang up job of that yourself!" Logan responded, his voice growing in volume once again.

Logan disappeared from sight as he went back into James' room. However, he soon reappeared to say one last thing to Kendall.

"Oh, and did you ever think that maybe I don't like being babied. I'm not as fragile as you think I am, Kendall," Logan commented before leaving Kendall standing in the hallway.

XXXXX

"I don't think you're fragile," Carlos blurted out as soon as Logan entered the room. He and James had overheard Logan and Kendall's little argument; it was kind of hard _not_ to with the way they were going at it.

"Oh please! The moment you guys find out I've been picked on, all of you are up in arms!" Logan retorted.

"What would you have us do instead, Logan? Nothing?" James questioned.

Logan massaged his temples with his fingers. There was absolutely no reprieve for him today. Carlos and James obviously overheard his fight with Kendall. Didn't they hear the part where he said that he didn't like being babied?

"You know, you don't have to act tough," James stated.

"Who said I was acting?" Logan replied.

Carlos snickered out loud. James rolled his eyes, smirking all the while.

"Oops! You guys didn't hear that, did you?" Carlos asked.

"Hear what?" James replied, playing along.

"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm plenty tough!" Logan remarked.

Even though his friends were essentially calling him a wimp, there was a light atmosphere in the room. Kendall lingered outside of the room peering in, feeling incredibly left out.

Kendall didn't understand how Carlos and James could get away with bagging on Logan, but he couldn't. Kendall wasn't really bagging on Logan in the first place anyways. He was envious of how at ease Carlos, James, and Logan were with one another.

"Whatever you say, Logie," Carlos commented before throwing Logan in a headlock and giving him a noogie.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Logan protested.

XXXXX

No one was more surprised than Logan when Dr. Worthington decided to do a liver biopsy on James. Of course, Logan had no doubt in his mind that Dr. Worthington would go around telling everyone that it was his idea when in fact it was Logan that came up with it in the first place.

After Dr. Worthington explained the procedure to James, James insisted on having Logan go with him. Everyone knew that James was absolutely terrified of needles. He figured that maybe having Logan there would distract him.

The tension in the room was so thick that you could cut through it with a knife. Nobody seemed to want to address the elephant in the room. However, it was quite clear to James that neither Logan nor Dr. Worthington relished being in the same room as the other.

"This may sound harsh, but are you sure you're not going to give me bruises, doctor?" James commented.

"Whatever do you mean?" Dr. Worthington responded, feigning innocence.

"James, just drop it! I don't need you fighting my battles for me," Logan said.

"Right. As if you're even a challenge," Dr. Worthington remarked.

James stormed to his feet and roughly shoved Dr. Worthington backwards. He didn't fall over, but he was surprised nevertheless.

"Back off!" James warned.

Dr. Worthington held his hands up innocently.

"My apologies. I don't have a problem with you. It's _him_ I have a problem with," he said gesturing over towards Logan.

"Right back at you!" Logan remarked.

"Well, he's staying, so deal with it!" James exclaimed.

James flopped back down on the crinkly seat as Dr. Worthington prepared the needle. James' eyes widened in fear when he saw the size of the needle. Logan took James' hand in his and gave a firm squeeze.

"Hey, don't look at that; look at me. It'll all be over real soon, okay?" Logan said.

James felt stupid when he could only nod his head in response. His throat felt all dry and chalky all of a sudden. His forehead was all clammy, and his hands were shaking. Beads of sweat accumulated on his eyebrows. James turned to face Dr. Worthington.

"Could you at least give me a heads up before you…and there it is!" James replied, yelping in pain, and nearly breaking Logan's fingers from squeezing them so hard.

"Over here," Logan said in a gentle voice in an attempt to get James to stop focusing on the needle protruding from his skin.

James saw the way Logan was looking at him, and suddenly, all thoughts of getting stuck by a needle evaporated from James' thoughts. There was adoration and respect in Logan's eyes. There was something else too. James hoped that the something else was love. The thought alone was enough to cause James' cheeks to flush.

Not so much as a whimper escaped Logan's lips when James practically crushed his fingers. James hated needles, and Logan was going to be there for James, no matter what. The more Logan thought about it, the more he realized that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for James.

"There. All done," Dr. Worthington announced.

"What? Really?" James asked, surprised and relieved.

Logan wasn't really surprised when Dr. Worthington left the room as soon as he had finished the procedure. He didn't say to make sure the puncture site stays clean and stops bleeding. He didn't say how long it would take to get the test results back from the lab. Luckily, Logan didn't need Dr. Worthington to say any of those things. Logan already knew.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Logan commented.

He was startled when James started to lean in. Was James doing what Logan thought James was doing? Here in the hospital? With the door wide open? What if someone were to walk in? More importantly, what had come over James all of a sudden?

"Uh…what are you doing?" Logan asked.

"Just shut up and stay still, okay?" James replied, somewhat annoyed.

Logan turned his head, and James only managed to kiss Logan's cheek. Logan stood up, and looked none too pleased with James.

"What are you, crazy?" Logan practically shouted.

"What's the problem?" James asked, thoroughly confused.

"What's the problem? What's the problem? You can't just kiss me whenever you feel like it, James! What if Kendall had walked in?"

"I really don't care if he had walked in!"

"Well I do!"

"What's your deal, huh? Why are you being so hot and cold?"

"Nothing. Just forget it!"

Logan walked out on James, leaving him alone in the room with his mouth agape. What just happened? What did he do wrong? Logan was looking at him longingly earlier. He goes to kiss him, and Logan blows up at him.

Maybe Kendall had it all wrong; maybe it wasn't James that would end up hurting Logan. Maybe it was Logan that would end up hurting James.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Yay! Double update across the sky!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: One reviewer told me that my review replies get a bit old. If anyone else feels that way, say so now, and I will gladly take that into consideration when I reply to reviews. The last thing I want to do is annoy my readers/reviewers. I just think that thanking people individually through private messages is more personal then giving multiple shout outs in an author's note. I also think review replies are better than no replies. To me, that would be like me not even acknowledging the fact that you have reviewed, you know? **

**Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is not owned by me. I know. I know. Shocker!**

**Big Time Sick**

James and Logan still weren't on speaking terms with one another, and Carlos Garcia for one, was quickly growing tired of it. A few days had passed since James had a liver biopsy. While James and Logan fighting put an extra spring in Kendall's step, Carlos just wanted everyone to get along. Was that so much to ask?

Carlos let out an audible groan as James ranted to him about Logan for the umpteenth time.

"…I mean who does he think he is? Looking at me like he did, and then I go to kiss him, and what does he do? He turns his head! That's what he does! I mean what is that? I thought he liked me! I guess that makes me an idiot for ever believing it…" James remarked.

Naturally, Carlos would be the one James talks to about this. There was no way James was going to talk to Logan! There was even less of a chance James would talk to Kendall! By process of elimination, that only left Carlos.

"Just ignore him, James," Carlos suggested.

That seemed to get James' attention. He raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Say what?" James asked.

"Getting bent out of shape like you are is letting Logan win. That's probably exactly how he wants you to react, so don't give him that power over you. Don't give him the satisfaction," Carlos explained. "Besides, if Logan's anything like I think he is, he won't be able to take you being mad at him for too long."

James marveled at Carlos' wisdom. Even Carlos was quite proud of himself. He might not be Logan smart, but he wasn't as dumb as people thought he was either. Though something about this whole situation struck Carlos as kind of odd.

"October 18, 2011. The day James Diamond came to me for relationship advice," Carlos commented.

"Do you really think giving Logan the cold shoulder will work?" James inquired.

"Trust me, James. You'll have Logan back in the palm of your hands in no time."

XXXXX

"I'm so proud of you, Logie," Kendall remarked.

Logan sighed deeply as he sat on the foot of his bed. He wanted to march right over to the bedroom James and Carlos shared with one another, but a part of him thought that he was the last person James would want to see right about now. Frankly, Logan didn't blame James either.

"Well, I'm not. I feel awful," Logan said glumly.

Kendall sat down next to Logan on the foot of his bed, and wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulders.

"Don't. James is so used to getting what he wants when he wants it. That's why I'm glad you put your foot down," Kendall stated.

"You just don't like the idea of me and James together," Logan interjected.

"This is true."

"Why?"

Kendall gave Logan's shoulder a gentle squeeze. Truth be told, he missed this. The way things were now was the way they used to be. It was just unfortunate the circumstances that led to the way things were now, but the end justified the means.

"Logan, how many times to I have to tell you this? James is bad news. He's not someone you should get involved with," Kendall said.

"And you are?" Logan asked bluntly.

Kendall was stunned into silence momentarily. He didn't expect Logan to be so blunt.

"Logan, I care about you. I do. You're my best friend. But more than that, you're like the little brother I never had. That's all though. I'm just looking out for you; the same way I would for Katie," Kendall replied.

"Okay, but you still haven't answered my question; why is James all wrong for me?" Logan responded.

Kendall wondered how someone as smart as Logan could be so blind when it came to James. Did he really not see what was right in front of his very eyes? How long has Logan known James?

"You and James are nothing alike," Kendall pointed out.

Logan chuckled.

"No offense, but I'm not very similar to you or Carlos either," Logan replied.

Kendall had to admit that Logan had a point. It was still a mystery to Kendall why Logan was even friends with him, James, and Carlos. Kendall, James, and Carlos were a lot alike. But maybe that's why they needed Logan. He completed their foursome. He was the missing piece of the puzzle.

"Name one long-term relationship that James has ever had with a girl," Kendall said.

Initially, Logan gladly welcomed the challenge. However, he didn't realize it would be as hard as it ended up being. He spent moments in contemplative silence. Sure James had been with lots of girls, but has it ever blossomed into a relationship? Logan wasn't even sure James had ever gone out on a second date with a girl. Maybe Kendall was onto something after all.

"Exactly," Kendall remarked with a triumphant smirk on his face.

XXXXX

The worst part was the wait. She stared at the stick in her trembling hand hoping that at any given moment, for better or worse, it would show her a sign. She wasn't sure what to feel about her current predicament. For all she knew, there was a perfectly good reason why she missed her period. It didn't necessarily mean she was…she couldn't even bring herself to finish that train of thought.

Everyone saw her as easy, but when it got down to the nitty gritty, she really hadn't been with all that many guys. She loved making out with guys, and that's usually all it ever amounted to. The thought alone that she could possibly be…it was enough to cause bile to creep up her throat.

Who was she kidding? She wasn't ready to be a mother! She was still a kid! She was only sixteen years old! She was having a hard enough time making it on her own out in L.A. as it was. How could she possibly make ends meet with a baby as well? Then again, maybe she wouldn't have to be alone.

Out of all the potential baby daddies, she knew which one would be her best option: James Diamond. He was a part of an up and coming boy band, Big Time Rush. He would best be able to give their son or daughter the kind of life he or she deserves.

There was one small problem; the kid might not be his. She was getting ahead of herself though. She wasn't even sure there _was_ a kid on the way!

When the plus sign appeared in the window of the home pregnancy test, her world was turned upside down. She had an acquaintance who worked in the lab at the hospital. It was high time for her to pay him a visit. There were some things that needed to be taken care of.

XXXXX

Despite Kendall's protests, Logan found himself knocking on James' bedroom door. Fearing that it was Logan, James had Carlos go and open the door.

"Hey, buddy," Carlos greeted.

"James, could we go somewhere and talk?" Logan asked timidly.

James cupped his hand around his ear, craning his neck.

"What was that? Carlos, did you hear something?" James remarked.

"I'm trying to apologize here," Logan said.

"Odd. I didn't hear the words _I'm sorry_. Did you, Carlos?"

The next thing James knew, Carlos had both of his hands on James' back, and was pushing him towards the door.

"Hey! What are you doing?" James protested as he resisted Carlos.

"Forget what I said earlier. The two of you need to talk things out," Carlos stated.

"I have nothing to say to you-know-who!"

Logan's bottom lip quivered as he struggled to fight back tears. Inwardly, he was kicking himself. Had he really just ruined any chance he had with James?

"James, this just came for you," Mrs. Knight called out. She then took in the sight in front of her. Carlos attempting to push James towards the door while he dug his heels into the floor and resisted as best as he could, Logan standing frozen in the doorway looking to be on the verge of tears. "What is going on here?"

Three pairs of eyes were on the envelope in Mrs. Knight's hand. Were those what they thought they were? It couldn't be, could it?

"Is that from the lab?" Logan asked, not recognizing his own voice.

Mrs. Knight checked the front of the envelope before nodding her head.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's open it up!" Carlos exclaimed, reaching for the envelope.

"No!" James yelled.

Everyone turned their heads toward James. All three of them had sympathetic looks on their faces that James couldn't stand to see. James had already made up his mind though. He didn't want to know the test results. He was better off not knowing. That way, at least it wouldn't be bad news.

"You don't know that it's bad news, James," Logan said, reading James' mind.

"And you don't know that it's good news," James retorted.

"There's only one way to find out," Carlos commented.

Before Carlos could snatch the envelope from Mrs. Knight, James beat him to it. He took the envelope and tore it into hundreds of tiny pieces. He then threw those pieces in the air before darting out of the room.

"James, wait up," Logan said, giving chase.

XXXXX

Logan caught up to James in the parking lot. He grabbed a hold of his arm. James placed the palms of both of his hands on Logan's chest, and shoved him backwards.

"Go away! I don't want to talk to you!" James yelled.

"You don't have to say anything. Just hear me out," Logan responded.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say!"

Logan knew what James was trying to do; he was trying to push everyone away. He was angry. He was lashing out. Most of all though, James was scared. Logan knew this. James knew that Logan knew too.

"I'm scared too, James," Logan said. "Big surprise, huh?"

Logan lightly laughed at his own joke, but James remained unfazed. What part of him not wanting to hear anything Logan had to say did Logan not get?

"That's why I didn't let you kiss me back at the hospital. I'm just not…comfortable…with public displays of affection. Can you blame me? I mean let's face it; society's not very accepting of homosexuality," Logan said.

He waited for James to say something, anything, but when he realized that he wouldn't, Logan continued on.

"As far as your test results are concerned, you should know what they are," Logan commented.

"For the last time, I don't want to know!" James countered.

"Okay, but you _need_ to know!"

"I don't _need_ anything! Least of all from _you_!"

Logan tried not to take anything James said too personally, but he couldn't ignore the disdain in James' voice. Even though he half-expected it, it still managed to break his heart.

"If it's bad news…" Logan started to say.

"Stop it! Don't say it! Don't even think it!" James warned.

Logan walked over to James and held both of his hands in his. James looked into Logan's face, blinking in surprise. It wasn't just the two of them in the parking lot either; there were people coming and going.

"No matter what, we'll get through it together," Logan said.

"I thought you weren't comfortable with public displays of affection?" James asked.

Logan knew that this was social suicide, but at the moment, he didn't care. All that mattered to him right now was letting James know that he was there for him. He was petrified over what the ramifications of this might be, but that could wait.

Logan had that familiar look of longing in his eyes as he got up on his tiptoes and started to lean towards James.

"What are you doing? There are people watching," James pointed out.

Logan put a finger to James' lips.

"Don't speak," Logan told James.

James was in bliss as Logan's soft lips skirted over his own. He wasn't sure if it was his medical condition or the fact that Logan was kissing him, but James felt weak in the knees. James consciously knew that this was the first time Logan had ever kissed a guy (unless you count the little CPR incident…), but from the way Logan was kissing him, James never would have guessed.

This was almost too good to be true for James. He felt like he should pinch himself just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. It was hard to believe that after lusting after Logan, this was finally happening. Logan's kiss was passionate yet delicate. James was too stunned to even contemplate kissing back.

There was no gray area when it came to how the spectators felt about what they were witnessing. Most had disgusted looks on their faces, clearly repulsed by what was happening. However, a select few beamed at the sight before them.

XXXXX

Logan peeked his head in each bedroom just to make sure that everyone was sound asleep. He then snuck out to the kitchen. He turned the light switch on. Luckily, Carlos had salvaged what was left of James' test results. He had sealed them in a baggie and gave it to Logan. To Carlos' credit, he tried to put the paper fragments together, but he didn't have much luck. He wasn't very good at puzzles, but he knew that Logan was.

It was a painstakingly long process, but piece by piece, Logan gradually began to put the pieces back together. Every time his eyes started to droop, he would catch himself. He walked over to the kitchen sink, splashed some cold water on his face, and resumed the task at hand.

It was just after six in the morning when Logan finally managed to piece the lab results back together. Logan's eyes scanned over the results once, twice, three times. He thought he would feel a sense of accomplishment, but he didn't. Not even in the slightest. However, he didn't have much time to dwell on that before he conked out.

James stumbled into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He found it odd that the kitchen light seemed to be on. Who could possibly be up this early in the morning? He tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head that told him to turn back.

James smiled when he saw Logan passed out on the kitchen table. However, that frown was soon turned upside down when he saw _why_ Logan was at the kitchen table. Taped together before him was the lab results James thought he would never have to see.

"What did you do?" James whispered to a slumbering Logan.

As hard as he tried to tear his eyes away from the test results, James found himself looking at them anyways. He backed up a couple of steps, shaking his head.

"No," James said.

To Be Continued…


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Logan woke up the next morning to the sound of James in the living room playing video games. With a smile on his face, he walked in front of James, obstructing his view. When he leaned in to kiss James, James dodged.

"Uh…did I do something wrong?" Logan asked, confused.

"I don't know, Logan. Is there anything you want to tell me?" James replied, sounding mad about something.

"What are you talking about?"

"Unbelievable!"

James stood up from the couch, tossing his controller aside. It clattered on the glass surface of the coffee table.

"You weren't going to tell me, were you? You were just going to keep it secret, weren't you?" James said, starting to raise his voice.

"I wasn't going to tell you what? Really James, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Logan responded.

"Don't play dumb with me!"

Tears started to well up in Logan's eyes. He genuinely didn't know what James was getting at, but the more he asked him to explain himself, the more furious James became.

"You want to know what I'm talking about?" James asked. He stormed over to the kitchen table, snatched up the taped together test results, and threw them in Logan's face.

"Oh, that," Logan said.

"Yeah, that!"

Logan seemed to recall James not wanting to know about his test results. Now James was mad at him for not telling him the test results? He was mad at him for respecting his wish to be kept in the dark? He was mad at him for doing what he asked him to do?

"Now wait just a minute! You didn't want to know the test results! Remember? Now you're mad at me for not telling you? Do you hear how ridiculous you sound?" Logan commented.

"First of all, you don't know how I feel, so stop pretending like you do! Second of all, I'm not mad at you for not telling me! I'm mad at you for going behind my back and keeping things from me!" James yelled back.

Logan scoffed.

"Excuse me for being exhausted after spending all night piecing the test results _you_ ripped up back together! Excuse me for needing sleep!" Logan remarked sarcastically.

"You should have told me as soon as you knew!" James exclaimed.

Logan started massaging both sides of his head with his fingers.

"Oh my gosh! Do you hear what an impossible situation you're putting me in? Darned if I do, and darned if I don't! I'm sorry I didn't tell you as soon as I found out, but I was tired, James! Okay?" Logan shouted.

Carlos walked into the living room uncertainly, his head hanging low.

"Is everything okay in here? I heard yelling," Carlos said shyly.

"Everything's just great, Carlos! Logan is just showing me what a two-faced liar he really is!" James retorted.

"Oh yeah? Well James is showing me what a douche he really is!" Logan snapped back.

James tromped off to his room while Logan stormed out the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

It was then that Carlos noticed the piece of paper on the floor. He crouched down to pick it up. Once he examined it, he let out a gasp.

"Was this what they were fighting about?" Carlos asked no one in particular. "What have I done?"

XXXXX

The elevator doors opened up revealing the lobby. Before Logan could even climb out of the elevator though. He found himself being shoved back in. He looked up and saw Ozzy looming over him. The bully he worked with for their Go Green class project. Ozzy pushed the up button. Once the elevator began moving, he slammed his fist into the emergency stop button. Logan swallowed a lump that was beginning to form in his throat.

"Um…can you let me go, please?" Logan asked.

"You're not going anywhere, _queer_!" Ozzy replied.

Logan wasn't surprised that Ozzy knew. On the contrary, Logan expected everyone and their dog to know that he and James were somewhat of an item now. After all, that was kind of the point of their PDA…However, that didn't stop Logan from being absolutely terrified of what Ozzy might do to him in the elevator.

"Where's your boyfriend to save you now?" Ozzy taunted.

James. Logan really wished James was in the elevator with them. As mad as he was at Logan, James wouldn't stand for anyone treating Logan like Ozzy was.

"Please don't hurt me," Logan begged.

"You mean like this?" Ozzy replied before slamming his fist into Logan's stomach, causing him do drop to his knees and gasp for air.

The way this scene was playing out was all too familiar to Logan. It was only a matter of time before someone bullied him. Logan just couldn't seem to catch a break on that front. Just when he thought he was out of the woods too.

"Help!" Logan cried out desperately.

"No one's going to hear you, _homo_!" Ozzy sneered.

Ozzy got a running start before kneeing Logan in the face, snapping his head back, and knocking him out cold. Logan's head bounced off the elevator floor before coming to a merciful stop.

"Sweet dreams, _faggot!_" Ozzy commented.

He started the elevator back up again, returning to the lobby. With Logan draped over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, Ozzy went behind the building where the garbage dumpsters were. With one heave, he threw Logan in a dumpster already more than half full of trash before slamming the lid shut.

XXXXX

"Logan Mitchell?" Miss Collins said as she was taking attendance.

Kendall, James, and Carlos all looked at Logan's empty seat beside them.

"Kendall, James, Carlos, have you seen Logan?" Miss Collins asked.

The guys were worried. It wasn't like Logan to be late for class or skip it entirely. He was one of those students who prided himself on always being on time and having perfect attendance. He even sucked it up and went to school when he was feeling under the weather.

"Come on, guys! Let's go find him!" Kendall said as the three of them rose out of their seats.

"Good luck," Ozzy remarked.

The next thing anyone knew, James had grabbed two fistfuls of Ozzy's jacket and lifted him out of his seat. Everyone, Ozzy included, saw the murderous look in James' eyes.

"You know where he is, don't you? Speak!" James shouted.

"I'm not scared of you, pretty boy!" Ozzy retorted. "And I'm not telling you nothing!"

"If you don't start talking right now, I swear to God I'll…"

Kendall and Carlos both grabbed James and pulled him away from Ozzy. They both had an urge to throttle Ozzy themselves, but for right now, the most important thing was separating James and Ozzy.

"James, don't. He's not even worth it," Carlos said.

As the three boys left the classroom, Ozzy waved tauntingly at James, which only caused him to get riled up even further.

XXXXX

Kendall, James, and Carlos had combed over The Palm Woods three times, and there was still no sign of Logan. They had checked the lobby, the apartment, out by the pool. Logan was nowhere to be seen.

"I thought you were mad at Logan?" Carlos asked James.

"I was, but I was an idiot. And now…" James said, his eyes starting to water. "Now he's missing. He's somewhere all alone, and he could be hurt, and…"

Kendall put a hand on James' shoulder, surprising both James and himself.

"Hey, we're going to find him, okay?" Kendall said.

Carlos smiled at the sight of Kendall and James actually kind of sort of getting along for once. It was their concern for Logan that united them though. Both of them wanted nothing more than for Logan to be safe. Carlos wanted that too.

James screamed out of frustration.

"Where could he be? Where haven't we checked?" James asked.

It was then that the boys heard a groan that seemed to come from the direction of the garbage dumpsters behind the building. They took off running towards the sound of the noise.

"Logan? Is that you?" Kendall called out.

They heard another groan, this one sounding much closer than the last.

As Carlos and Kendall raced off in the direction of the dumpster, James was halted by a sharp pain in his lower back. He hissed and grabbed at his lower back with his hands, dropping down to one knee. He felt the vomit creep up his esophagus, and he retched right then and there.

"What's happening to me?" James said to no one in particular.

Even though James asked the question, he knew the answer. His test results had said as much. Something about him having some sort of disease that he couldn't even pronounce. Late onset liver something or another. Logan would know. Tears filled James' eyes. Logan would know.

James couldn't even make sense of half of the medical mumbo jumbo in his test results, but apparently, his liver wasn't producing enough of a certain amino acid (whatever those things were…) beta something. At any rate, his condition was extremely rare; only affecting 1 in a billion people. In fact, there have only been 46 documented cases of the disease.

This was where the test results really became a tough pill to swallow. Patients with the same disease James was afflicted with only had a 40 percent chance of survival. The average age someone has lived with James' condition was 19. James was seventeen now! Out of those who have died from the disease, the longest anyone has lived was 25.

The rest of the test results talked about James being put on a liver donor waiting list because a liver transplant was the only thing that seemed to work. Granted, a liver transplant was still major surgery, and there were still incidents where patients have died under the knife, but no one who survived James' disease went without a liver transplant. There were drugs that James could take, but they were only a treatment not a cure.

In the meantime, Carlos and Kendall opened the lid to the dumpster. They both didn't even hesitate climbing in the dumpster to fetch Logan. In no time at all, all three of them were out of the dumpster. Kendall laid Logan on the ground while Carlos called 911.

"Logan, it's Kendall. You're all right. Everything's going to be just fine. An ambulance is on the way, so you hang in there, you hear?" Kendall said trying to stay strong.

It was easier said than done though. There was a ping pong-sized ball on Logan's cheek. Blood was trickling from Logan's nose which looked to be broken. After lying in trash for who knows how long, Logan was filthy.

"How is he?" James asked as he joined his friends.

James gasped in horror as he saw Logan for the first time. He looked so broken. This brought up painful memories from their childhood when Logan would be bullied in school. As awful as it sounded, James was almost used to finding Logan like this after he had been bullied.

James decided not to tell Kendall and Carlos about his test results. He knew that Logan knew though. Now that he's had some time to digest it, he could understand why Logan wouldn't tell him. It couldn't be easy for him to tell James that he was dying. James didn't want to think the worst, but the odds of him surviving weren't in his favor.

"I'm sorry, Logan! I'm so sorry!" James said, sitting on the asphalt, and gathering Logan in his arms, cradling his head in his lap.

"James," Logan wheezed.

"Shh! It's okay, Logie. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

James lowered his head to Logan's, and planted a kiss on Logan's forehead.

"Please be okay," James said to Logan.

XXXXX

Logan was currently passed out from all the anesthesia he was given. He had to have a rhinoplasty, nose surgery. Everything went fine though, and luckily, the surgeon _wasn't_ Dr. Worthington. Facial reconstructive surgery didn't fall under Dr. Worthington's area of expertise.

Logan's surgeon, Dr. Summers, a thirty-something year old female with short blonde hair, was talking to the boys in the waiting room.

"We're going to keep Logan at the hospital overnight, but you three should go home and get some rest. Logan won't even know you're gone," Dr. Summers said.

"I'm not leaving Logan!" James exclaimed.

Kendall and Carlos both held their ground as well. They had no intentions of leaving Logan alone either even for one night, especially not after what he went through today.

"Okay, well then you're more than welcome to stay," Dr. Summers said, smiling warmly at the teenage boys.

She decided not to tell them about visitation hours. She had a hunch that even if she did tell them about visitation hours, they wouldn't play by the rules anyways. She just met them, and she could already tell that the four of them had such a strong bond with one another. She found that very admirable.

She stood in the doorway to Logan's room and watched as each of the boys pulled a chair up to Logan's bed and were talking to him about absolutely everything and absolutely nothing. She couldn't help but smile.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Just a heads up. I completely fabricated everything about James' disease because it's a fictional disease. You know, so don't go and try to look it up or anything. It should come as no surprise that I made up the statistics too. I just wanted to let you know before you went on a wild goose chase researching a disease that doesn't even exist. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yeah, and that's not going to be changing anytime in the foreseeable future…**

**Big Time Sick**

James Diamond hated it. He absolutely hated it. Mrs. Knight was making him, Kendall, and Carlos go to school today when all James _really_ wanted to do was be at the hospital with Logan. James didn't care about school or the hospital's visitation hours; all he cared about right now was Logan.

"This sucks," James muttered under his breath. "Why is your mom making us go anyways?"

Kendall shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Logan's missing school today. I guess she figured there was no reason all four of us should."

Kendall couldn't help but notice how James cringed when he had said that Logan would be missing school. It just made them all think about the reason _why_ Logan would be absent today; he was at the hospital recuperating. A _hospital_.

The three boys entered the classroom. The Palm Woods only had one classroom. They also only had one teacher, Miss Collins. School was in session at different times depending on the ages of the students.

"Aw, why so sad, _Jamie_?" Ozzy taunted from across the room.

"James, calm down!" Carlos pleaded as he and Kendall desperately tried to hold James back.

James had no idea whether or not Ozzy had played Logan for a fool back when they were partners for a class project. Or maybe that was it. Maybe Ozzy was only nice to Logan, or for that matter anybody, when he needed something from them. No. James was willing to bet that wasn't the case at all; at least not entirely. He was certain that Ozzy was just a homophobic jerk who liked picking on people smaller than him. Ozzy may be bigger than James, but he didn't tower over James the way he towered over Logan.

"So…how's your boyfriend?" Ozzy asked, smirking.

"That does it!" James shouted before he shook himself free of Kendall and Carlos, and launched himself at Ozzy, tackling him to the ground.

The two boys were on the floor throwing haymakers at one another. Kendall and Carlos were trying to pull James off Ozzy, but it was easier said than done. James was bound and determined to inflict bodily harm on The Palm Woods' resident bully.

"Okay! Break it up!" Miss Collins shouted upon entering the classroom and seeing the ensuing brawl. Seeing that neither boy was listening, she yelled even louder. "That is enough! Both of you have earned yourselves detention! Three o'clock this afternoon!"

That managed to get James' attention. He was supposed to go visit Logan at the hospital after school. Taking advantage of James' momentary distraction, Ozzy landed a solid right to James' jaw.

"What did I just say?" Miss Collins screamed, wedging herself in between the two teenagers as a last resort.

XXXXX

Logan beamed when the door to his hospital room opened and Kendall and Carlos entered. However, his eyes never left the door, clearly expecting someone else to walk in any moment now. Seconds ticked by, but it was still just the three of them.

"Hey, buddy!" Carlos greeted, pulling up a chair alongside Logan's hospital bed.

Kendall followed Carlos' lead, pulling up a chair beside Carlos.

"How's our Logie?" Kendall asked, playfully tousling Logan's hair.

"I'm good," Logan answered, putting on a brave face, which would have been more convincing if not for the bandages on his surgically repaired nose.

The answer seemed to be enough for Carlos, but Kendall on the other hand didn't look convinced.

"Logan," Kendall said seriously. "How are you _really_ doing?"

Logan sighed. He never could lie to his friends, least of all Kendall. The truth of the matter was that he was afraid to go back to school because Ozzy would be there too. In all truthfulness, Logan could use some more painkillers right about now. He was dizzy; his head was killing him, and his nose felt…different.

"Well, I got beat up, so you know, there's…that," Logan replied.

Carlos frowned. He knew all too well what Logan was going through. Of the four of them, for some reason or another, he and Logan were always the ones that got picked on by bullies.

"I brought you your laptop just like you wanted," Carlos said, changing the subject, and placing the gadget on Logan's lap.

"Why _did_ you want your laptop anyways?" Kendall asked.

Logan chuckled nervously, hoping Kendall and Carlos wouldn't notice; or at least they wouldn't think anything of it.

"You have no idea how boring it is here. There's never anything good on TV. Besides, the hospital only has like three channels, and news is pretty much all that's ever on those channels," Logan responded.

He didn't tell them that he wanted his laptop so he could do some research on the disease James was afflicted with that finally had a name. Logan wasn't at all familiar with James' ailment, which had to mean one thing; it was an extremely rare disease.

"That makes sense," Carlos commented.

Kendall was skeptical though. There was something suspicious about the way Logan chuckled beforehand. It was almost like he was hiding something. Kendall wondered what it was that Logan could possibly be hiding.

XXXXX

James and Ozzy were the only two students who found themselves in detention that day, and they were sitting in two desks as far apart as they possibly could get. Both boys were supposed to be doing something productive; homework, studying, reading, something. Miss Collins was doing some reading of her own; she was eagerly flipping through a gossip magazine.

Even though James found himself in detention, he felt somewhat validated. No one messes with one of his best friends and gets away with it. No one messes with his Logan and gets away with it.

Though Ozzy wouldn't admit it to anyone, he was a bit rattled by James. He wasn't used to _anyone_ standing up to him. In fact, he was practically at a loss over where to go from here. This was all so new to him.

James pretended like he was reading from a textbook, but in actuality, his thoughts drifted to Logan. Kendall and Carlos no doubt were there with him right now, and James should be too. Only he wasn't. All because he wanted some revenge. He groaned in frustration.

James grabbed his lower back, hissing in pain. His initial reaction was that Ozzy must have hit him there during their scuffle earlier. He had no idea that it was his liver acting up again. James clenched his teeth as he tried to think about anything other than the excruciating physical pain he was feeling.

"Aww, what's wrong, Jamie? Can't take a punch?" Ozzy remarked, snickering to himself.

"Can you?" James replied, clenching his right hand into a fist and rising from his desk.

A loud smack echoed throughout the classroom as Miss Collins slapped a yardstick into the chalkboard.

"No talking! And you're supposed to be doing homework!" Miss Collins scolded. "Or do you want detention tomorrow too?"

James unclenched his fist, and flopped back down in his seat, burying his face back in his textbook. He wasn't able to visit Logan after school today because of detention. There was no way James would go two afternoons in a row without seeing Logan.

XXXXX

"Hey Logan, you know you can talk to us…about anything. You know that, right?" Kendall asked.

Logan arched his eyebrows in confusion. What was Kendall on about? And what was with that look in his eyes? It was almost as if he was accusing Logan of something, but what?

"I know," Logan replied.

The three boys lapsed into silence. Kendall expected Logan to confess something, _anything_, to them. Carlos felt like there was some unspoken understanding between his two friends, and wanted to be in the know too. Logan waited patiently for Kendall to tell him exactly what it was that he wanted Logan to talk about.

"Well?" Kendall said, finally breaking the silence.

"Well what?" Logan replied.

"Is there anything you want to tell us?"

"Nope."

Kendall shook his head in disappointment. A bitter voice in the back of his head wondered if _James_ could get Logan to tell him what was on his mind. He probably could too, and that killed Kendall. James could, but Kendall couldn't. Kendall slid his chair back, rose to his feet, and abruptly left Logan's hospital room.

"I wonder what that was all about," Carlos commented.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Logan replied.

There was something weighing heavily on Carlos' mind too.

"Hey Logie?" Carlos said.

"Yeah, Carlitos?" Logan replied.

"You're not…mad at me. Are you?"

"Mad at you? Why on Earth would I be mad at you?"

Logan knew that the one thing Carlos hated more than people not getting along was when people were mad at him. Carlos always wanted to be on good terms with everybody. This thought alone even managed to bring a hint of a smile to Logan's face.

Carlos averted his gaze and was absentmindedly drawing circles on Logan's sheet with his finger. The loose ends of the straps of his hockey helmet bobbing to and fro.

"If I hadn't kept the ripped up pieces of James' test results and asked you to piece them back together, the two of you wouldn't have been fighting. If the two of you hadn't been fighting, Ozzy wouldn't have put you in the hospital, and…wait a second. The test results! You put them back together! What did they say?" Carlos asked, excitedly.

Logan spoke in nonsensical syllables as he couldn't even form a coherent thought. He wasn't sure, but Logan thought somewhere in that jumble of words, Carlos said that he felt responsible somehow for Logan being in the hospital. But what bothered Logan the most was that Carlos had mentioned James' lab results. Here he thought that could stay between the two of them; him and James.

"Don't be ridiculous, Carlos! What happened to me wasn't your fault!" Logan said, talking super fast.

"You're doing it again," Carlos commented.

"Doing what?"

"That thing you do when you're trying to hide something. You start talking fast…"

"Who's talking fast? I'm not talking fast! Whoever said anything about talking fast? I so don't talk fast! Where on Earth did you get an idea like that?"

Carlos rolled his eyes.

"What did the lab results say?" Carlos asked.

Logan sighed. He made like he was going to say something a few occasions, but he kept his lips pressed firmly together. Carlos reached over and took Logan's hand in his.

"It's okay, Logan. You can tell me. I can take it," Carlos said reassuringly.

Somehow Logan doubted that. He wasn't even sure _he_ could take it. There was no telling how Carlos would take the news. He was somewhat unpredictable. You almost never knew with him.

"James is dying, Carlos," Logan squeaked out.

Carlos' eyes widened, and he did a double take. Clearly, that was not what he was expecting Logan to say.

"D-dying? H-how l-long d-does h-he h-have?" Carlos stuttered, his lips quivering and his eyes watering.

"Carlos look at me," Logan said. Carlos shook his head and turned his head away from Logan, ashamed to be crying in front of him. Logan gently grabbed Carlos' chin, and turned it so he was facing him. "Look at me."

It tore Logan apart seeing Carlos this way. He was usually happy-go-lucky and almost always had a goofy smile on his face. This had actually been the first time that Logan had ever said those words aloud. James is dying. He had to admit that hearing those words spoken made it far more real than reading those words in James' lab results. Logan's own eyes started to fill with tears. It was too soon! James had so much life left to live! It would not end this way! Logan wouldn't allow it!

"I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that James stays alive. That's actually why…that's actually why I asked you guys to bring me my laptop. I'm not familiar with James' condition, late onset liver myconidis. What little was said about it in the lab results was only the skeleton of what this ailment is all about," Logan said.

One thing that was so great about the friendship the four boys shared with one another was that more often than not, they each got to play different roles. No matter what role each of them took on, none of them thought any less of the other. At times, each of them had been the vulnerable one. There were also times when each of them got to be the emotionally strong one, the rock.

"W-what d-do w-we d-do?" Carlos asked.

"Well the test results say that no one has survived this disease without having a liver transplant. I think we should start there. We need to all get tested to see if our livers are compatible," Logan answered.

XXXXX

James had just finished with detention. He was going to swing by 2J, drop off his school stuff, and then head to the hospital to see Logan. After depositing his backpack in his room, not caring much where it ended up, he made a dash for the front door. He had waited long enough to see Logan.

He opened the door, and found himself face-to-face with a girl James' age. She had jet black hair down to her butt. There was something about the way she held her hand over her stomach that James found rather odd.

"Now's not the time," James remarked.

"James, I'm pregnant," the girl said.

"That's great! Good for you! I really should be going!"

"And you're the father."

To Be Continued…


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Happy Halloween everyone!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Big Time Sick**

James was flabbergasted. There was no way what this girl whose name James didn't even know was pregnant with _his _kid! She was lying! She was a filthy liar! She had to be! Sure James remembered waking up in bed next to her, but that didn't mean they _did_ anything together, right? Right?

"I know this is a bit of a shock to you," the girl said.

James glared at her as if doing so would magically take back the bombshell she had dropped on him. He unconsciously ran a hand through his hair, a nervous tendency of his. Not that he had anything to be nervous about though. After all, he didn't believe a single word that came out of this girl's mouth.

"There's no way I'm the father!" James commented.

"Why is that so hard for you to believe?" the girl asked.

"We never slept together for starters!"

"Yeah we did. You just don't remember. You blacked out."

"And what? You took advantage of me?"

The girl fell silent, which was answer enough for James. He wasn't normally one to physically harm a female, but he had a strong urge to kill the girl before him for ruining his life or at least trying to. The idea of being a father never even crossed James Diamond's mind before; certainly not _now_! Career first, family later. That's the way James _wanted_ things to turn out. He was quickly finding out though that he doesn't always get what he wants.

"This can't be happening," James remarked.

"You talk like bringing a newborn life into this world is some sort of mistake," the girl stated.

"Because it is! At least in this case!"

"I thought you'd be happy for me! For us!"

"There is no _us_! I don't even know your name!"

"You don't know it? Or you've already forgotten it? That certainly says a lot about the kind of guy _you_ are, doesn't it? Do 'em then dump 'em, eh James?"

James looked outraged. Sure he was a ladies' man. Sure he was a chick magnet. That didn't mean what she said about him was true though. Except the more he thought about it, the more he realized it was. Or at least it _used to be_. James didn't care about girls anymore though. He only cared about one thing; or rather one person; Logan.

"You're one to talk. No offense but, no on second thought, offense, you seem like you've been around yourself if you know what I mean. So how do you even know I'm the father? It could be any one of those other guys you've done then dumped!" James retorted.

The girl scoffed.

"You are such a pig! For your information, I _know_ you're the father because I know when this child was conceived, and you were the only guy I was with during that time!" the girl shouted back. "I'll have you know that I don't like the fact that you're the father any more than you do!"

"The only guy you were with? Don't you ever get tired of lying? I'm really supposed to believe that I was the only guy you were with?" James commented incredulously.

"I don't care what you believe! It doesn't change the fact that it's the truth!"

"I think you've overstayed your welcome, so leave."

"I'm not finished with you yet!"

"I said get out!"

The girl dramatically turned her head away from James. She held her nose in the air as she spun around on her heels and strutted away from James.

"This can't be happening," James said to nobody in particular.

XXXXX

Back in Logan's hospital room, Carlos was still trying to wrap his head around everything that Logan had just finished explaining to him. James was far worse off than any of them had ever imagined. He was dying. His only hope was a liver transplant. Logan wanted them all to get tested to see if their livers were a match.

"So we're going to tell Kendall then?" Carlos asked.

"You're going to tell me what?" Kendall asked as he re-entered the room.

Carlos and Logan traded nervous glances with one another. When they had mentioned telling Kendall, they never anticipated it would be so soon. They thought it would be down the road. _Way_ down the road. Boy, were they ever wrong!

It was clear to Kendall that Carlos and Logan had been crying. Their eyes were red and puffy. They both had tears streaming down their faces at this very moment. Kendall's initial reaction was that something was wrong with Logan.

"You'll probably want to sit down for this," Logan said.

"Sit down for what? What are you talking about, Logan? What's wrong? Is something the matter with you?" Kendall asked, walking over to Logan and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's not me, Kendall. It's James."

Just like that, Kendall's concern evaporated.

"I really don't care…" Kendall started to say.

"James is dying!" Carlos blurted out.

Kendall stopped mid-sentence. His mouth was agape. As much as he pretended like he didn't care about James, he didn't want James to _die_! How was this even possible? Did it have something to do with James' illness?

"What do you mean he's dying?" Kendall replied.

"James has a disease, late onset liver myconidis. Without a liver transplant, he'll die. Even if he gets a liver transplant, there's still a chance he could…" Logan couldn't even finish the sentence before he broke down and started sobbing.

Carlos wrapped his arms around Logan in an embrace while Kendall stood there awkwardly. His mind was reeling. He was the leader of the group, yet he had no idea what to do or even say right about now.

"Logan wants us all to get tested to see if our livers are a match," Carlos said, speaking for Logan since he clearly couldn't at the moment.

"If one of us is?" Kendall asked, his face as white as a sheet.

"Then we'll give James our liver. I guess."

Logan squirmed out of Carlos' embrace. Carlos had said something that wasn't entirely correct. Still sniffling, Logan spoke up.

"We wouldn't give James our _entire_ liver. Just part of it. Roughly half to be exact," Logan stated.

"A liver transplant is _surgery_, right?" Kendall asked.

Logan nodded his head.

"And we could still _die_ from surgery, right?" Kendall inquired.

Again, Logan nodded.

"Count me out," Kendall said.

"Kendall!" Carlos exclaimed.

"I'm not going to die for James!"

"Oh, so you rather he die instead?"

"In a word, yes."

"What happened to you? You're not the Kendall I used to know!"

"Guys, please! Stop fighting!" Logan said.

Carlos was already heading for the door. He wouldn't even look at Kendall, and vice versa. It broke Logan's heart to see what all of this had done to their friendship. The four of them used to be so close too. Logan missed those days.

"I need some air. I can't be in the same room as _him_," Carlos said, pointing at Kendall. "Without getting sick to my stomach from the sight of him!"

Logan held out his hand to stop Carlos, but he was already gone.

"You see what you did?" Logan said to Kendall.

"Maybe James dying isn't such a bad thing," Kendall commented.

"You don't mean that, Kendall!"

"Actually, I kind of do. Think about it, Logie. You cry way more now than you used to. You're starting to get bullied again. You're in the hospital _again_!"

"And this is James' fault?"

"Yep."

Carlos wasn't the only one who thought that Kendall had become a different person. Logan felt the exact same way. He didn't understand how two people who used to be the best of friends could hate each other so much now.

"You know what I think?" Logan asked.

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me no matter what I say," Kendall remarked.

"I think you're really scared. Your hatred of James, your resentment of him, it's all just smoke and mirrors. You rather be a jerk and have people be mad at you than admit that in reality you're just as afraid as the rest of us."

Once more, Kendall was at a loss for words. Nobody knew him quite like Logan did, and he was right. How Kendall hated it when Logan was right, which was pretty much all the time!

Kendall sighed deeply. "You're right, Logan. But do you know what I'm _most_ afraid of?"

"What's that?" Logan responded.

"What scares me the most is the lengths you would go to in order to save James. I just don't want you to give up your life to save his."

"Kendall, my liver might not even be a match."

Kendall threw his hands up in frustration.

"But what if it is? Humor me, Logan. Say it is. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn't donate your liver to James?" he asked.

"I would, Kendall. You know I would. You have to realize something though; there's minimal risk as far as the donor in such a procedure is concerned. In fact, James has more of a risk of not surviving the operation than I would if I were the donor," Logan explained.

"But there's still a risk you could die though, right?"

Logan reached out with his hand and rubbed the length of Kendall's arm up and down in what was meant to be a reassuring gesture.

"Yes, but someone once told me that a life without risk is a life unlived," Logan said.

Kendall smiled at his best friend. Logan had become a different person as of late too. In some ways, Kendall was proud of Logan. He took a lot more risks than he used to. Granted they were calculated risks, but they were risks all the same.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, okay? Let's take it one step at a time. Let's get tested first. Then we can take it as it comes," Logan stated.

"I don't know, Logan," Kendall said uncertainly.

Logan placed a hand on Kendall's shoulder.

"If you won't do it for James, then will you at least do it for me?" Logan pleaded.

"Okay, Logan. For you," Kendall answered.

XXXXX

The elevator door opened, and a girl with jet black hair down to her butt walked in. She was carrying a hefty box in her arms. Camille took one glance at her, and immediately came to a conclusion about her.

"Moving in?" Camille asked.

"Yep," the girl asked.

Camille held her hand out for the new girl to shake.

"I'm Camille. Welcome to The Palm Woods," she said.

"I'm Trishelle. I'd shake your hand, but…" Trishelle said holding the box up.

Camille was a bit taken aback by the new girl's beauty. She was drop dead gorgeous. Her wardrobe was a bit…questionable…though. Trishelle was wearing a black tank top that exposed her midriff. She was wearing an incredibly short denim mini-skirt that didn't even go halfway down her thighs. She was wearing black Stilettos and black knee-high socks.

"So what brings you to The Palm Woods?" Camille asked, trying to make conversation.

"I'm pregnant with James Diamond's kid," Trishelle replied, not beating around the bush.

Camille started coughing, having choked on her own saliva. Her eyes widened so they nearly doubled in size, and her mouth took on an 'o' shape.

"What did you just say?" Camille uttered.

"James and I are having a kid together. Do you know James?" Trishelle replied.

"Oh yeah. I know James. Will you excuse me? I need to get off on this floor."

Camille was going up to her apartment on the fourth floor, but suddenly, she felt compelled to visit Apartment 2J. If things went her way, James would be there. She had a few choice words she wanted to say to James.

XXXXX

Someone was pounding on the door of Apartment 2J. James had already shouted, "I'm coming," on more than one occasion, but the pounding continued anyways. James opened the door, hoping against hope it wasn't the so-called mother of his soon-to-be kid.

"What?" James answered rather moodily. Upon seeing it was Camille, he changed his tone of voice to a more appropriate one. "Oh. Hi, Camille."

"Don't hi me!" Camille shrieked.

She placed both of her palms flat against James chest before forcing him to back up all the way to the living room. She then pulled her hand back, and slapped James hard across his left cheek.

"You got a girl pregnant?" she yelled.

James held his index finger to his lips in a shushing gesture.

"Keep your voice down! Do you want Mama Knight to hear you? She happens to be in the apartment!" James said in a hushed whisper.

But it was too late. Far too late. The next thing James knew, Kendall's mom had joined them in the living room looking nothing short of ticked off.

"James did what now?" Mrs. Knight hollered.

"How could you do that to Logan?" Camille demanded.

"Ix nay on the ogan lay," James said nervously, fiddling with the cotton material of his v-neck.

Mrs. Knight turned towards Camille, and then turned back around towards James. She had one of those, 'Oh no he didn't!' looks on her faces that James had learned to fear over the years.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You and Logan? What's this about you and Logan? I thought there was no you and Logan?" Jennifer Knight remarked.

"Just because you stole Logan away from me doesn't mean that I stopped caring about him!" Camille exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh! Do you not speak pig Latin?" James retorted.

James tried to ignore the fact that the room was spinning around him. He tried to ignore the fact that he was seeing doubles of both Mrs. Knight and Camille. He tried to ignore the searing pain in his lower back. He struggled to keep his eyelids open, but he could feel his eyes start to roll to the back of his head. He stumbled, staggered, and knocked over the entire contents of the counter, glass and ceramic shattering upon hitting the floor.

"Nice try, James, but we're not buying it," Camille said to James who was now lying face down on the floor.

"James? James!" Mrs. Knight cried out.

To Be Continued…


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: See any of the previous chapter's disclaimers.**

**Big Time Sick**

Gustavo and Kelly were in the rehearsal studio at Rocque Records. They glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 5:30. Gustavo had taken up pacing back and forth. His face was starting to turn red, and Kelly noticed that it was all scrunched up. He was stewing.

"Where are those dogs? They can't just show up for practice whenever they feel like it!" Gustavo said, livid.

"I'm sure there's a good reason why they're late for practice," Kelly reasoned.

"If this were any other job, and they pulled a no call no show, they would be fired."

"Oh, so you _want_ to go back to the scooter business?"

Gustavo stopped where he stood, and turned to face his assistant. All the color seemed to drain from his face at the mere thought of selling scooters. He was Gustavo Rocque! Gustavo Rocque! A world renowned record producer! Not some scooter salesman!

"Just call the dogs! And tell them to get their lazy butts over here!" Gustavo ordered.

Kelly whipped out her cell phone, dialed a number, and held the phone against the side of her face as it rang.

"Hi, Kelly! What's up?" Carlos answered.

"What's up? Where are you? You're late for practice! Gustavo isn't very happy with you guys," Kelly said.

"We're at the hospital."

"The hospital? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. At least I think so."

"Well get the others and get over to Rocque Records now."

"Oh, James isn't here with us."

"What do you mean he's not there with you?"

"He had detention, but…detention should be over by now. He should be here."

Kelly couldn't help but feel like she was only getting half the story. Like why did James get detention in the first place? They were at the hospital, but why? Did one of them have to be taken to the hospital? If so, who? What happened?

"Ugh! Fine! Then just get Kendall and Logan, and get over here. We'll just have to practice without James," Kelly said.

"O…kay…" Carlos said even though Kelly had already hung up on him.

Carlos sighed. He didn't want to get Kendall. He didn't want to look at Kendall. He certainly didn't want to talk to Kendall.

XXXXX

James was being loaded onto a stretcher. Paramedics swarmed around him. Mrs. Knight and Camille held each other's hands. Both of them had tears streaming down their faces. The seriousness of the situation had hit them like a ton of bricks. The whole pregnancy issue was put on the backburner. All that mattered right now was that James would be okay, and hopefully, he would.

"Can I ride in the ambulance with him?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Yeah, I wanna ride too!" Camille added.

"I'm sorry, but there's no room. You two will just have to follow us to the hospital," a male EMT said.

"Well, do you at least know what's wrong with him?" Mrs. Knight inquired.

"Not at the moment. I'd love to stay and chat, but we really need to get him to the hospital, so if you'll excuse me," the male paramedic stated.

Mrs. Knight and Camille had no idea that James was dying. They had no idea that he had an extremely rare liver disease. The only ones who knew that were the four boys.

"Mom? What's going on? Why are there paramedics here?" Katie asked.

Then she saw James laid out on a stretcher.

"James? What happened? Is he okay?" she questioned.

Mrs. Knight walked over to her daughter and drew her into an embrace.

"We don't know sweetie. He fainted or something. He's going to be just fine though," Jennifer Knight said, trying to convince herself more than Katie.

Camille felt like such a horrible person. It might be ridiculous, but she thought that she and Mrs. Knight were somehow responsible for what happened to James. Logan was already slipping away from her as it was. The two of them didn't talk nearly as much as they used to. Most of the time, she didn't even know what was going on with him. If he ever found out that she caused James to be sent to the hospital, that very well could be the end of their friendship.

The paramedics started wheeling James out of Apartment 2J.

"Come on. Let's follow them," Mrs. Knight said to Katie and Camille.

XXXXX

Carlos knocked softly on the door to Logan's hospital room. Kendal and Logan looked over towards Carlos. Kendall, upon seeing who it was, immediately looked elsewhere.

"Kelly just called. She wants us at Rocque Records for practice," Carlos said.

"What about James?" Logan asked.

"That's weird. He should be here by now. Kelly said that the three of us will just have to come then."

Logan didn't much like the idea of the three of them practicing without James. They were Big Time Rush. There was no Big Time Rush without James.

"Come on. Let's go then," Kendall said.

"Aren't we going to wait for James? Or at least call him and tell him to meet us there?" Logan responded.

"Don't kid yourself, Logan," Carlos remarked. "Kendall has no problem excluding James. Isn't that right, Kendall?"

Kendall jetted over to Carlos.

"Is there something you want to say to me?" Kendall asked, jabbing his pointer finger into Carlos' chest with each word.

"Yeah! As a matter of fact, there is!" Carlos replied, not backing down.

Logan quickly crawled out of his hospital bed, and stuck himself in between his two friends, one palm on each of their chests.

"Guys, stop it!" Logan exclaimed, tears prickling his eyes.

"You know what, Kendall? I hope you _are_ a match! That way you can die in surgery, and we'll all be better off without you!" Carlos shouted.

"Carlos, come on. You don't mean that," Logan replied.

"Well, you know what, small fry? Maybe I changed my mind! Maybe I don't want to get tested anymore! What do you think of them apples? Are you hearing this, Logan? See the way he talks about James? I'd be careful if I were you. Carlos might be trying to steal James from you," Kendall said.

"Don't do that! Don't try to turn Logan against me just because you're running out of people on your side!" Carlos yelled back.

"That's enough!" Logan screamed, tears falling freely from his watery eyes.

Kendall and Carlos instantly felt bad for reducing Logan to tears. Their hearts were racing. Their adrenaline was pumping. However, seeing the sorry state Logan was in, they both slowly started to calm down.

Carlos went to hug Logan, but Logan wasn't having any of that.

"Don't, Carlos. Just don't. I can't take all of this fighting anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't," Logan said before leaving his hospital room in a hurry.

"Great! See what you did?" Carlos and Kendall said simultaneously.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight, Camille, and Katie were in the waiting room. Dr. Summers walked over to Mrs. Knight and handed her a clipboard with some forms on it.

"You're Logan's guardian, correct? Would you mind filling out these discharge papers? Logan's free to go home," Dr. Summers said.

"Discharge papers?" Camille said incredulously.

Mrs. Knight put her hand on top of Camille's.

"Oh, sweetie, didn't you know? Logan had to have nose surgery," Mrs. Knight said.

"Nose surgery?" Camille asked. Then she suddenly remembered the rumor that Ozzy had sent Logan to the hospital. At the time, Camille paid no mind to the rumor. She thought it was just some vicious rumor that someone had started, probably Ozzy. She had no idea that there was some truth to the rumor. "It was that bad?"

Katie and Mrs. Knight solemnly nodded their heads.

"Oh, shoot!" Jennifer Knight said. "We were in such a hurry to get here that I completely forgot to bring Logan a change of clothes."

"I'll go get them!" Camille said, volunteering.

"Would you? Thanks," Mrs. Knight said, handing Camille her car keys.

XXXXX

"Dr. Worthington?" Logan said timidly.

Dr. Worthington looked up from the medical charts he had been skimming to see James' puny friend. He let out an audible groan.

"What do you want?" Dr. Worthington asked, already annoyed.

"I want to get tested. You know, to see if I could be a liver donor for James," Logan answered.

Dr. Worthington dismissively waved his hand.

"I'm kind of busy right now if you don't mind…"

"Actually, I _do_ mind! And if you actually gave a damn about James, you'd hear me out!" Logan said, raising his voice.

Dr. Worthington set the clipboard down on the counter, giving Logan an 'Are you happy now?' look.

"Look, you and I both know that the only way James is going to survive this is if he has a liver transplant," Logan said.

"Let me stop you right there," Dr. Worthington stated. "The fact that you want to do this for your friend is great or whatever, but you're not the ideal donor."

That hit a nerve with Logan. He kind of felt like he had spent his entire life up until now trying to be good enough. Trying to be a good enough son. Trying to be a good enough friend. Trying to be a good enough singer. Trying to be a good enough dancer.

"First of all, usually donors are at least 18 years old, which, may I remind you, you're not. Second of all, donors are typically the same size or bigger than the organ recipient, which again, you're not," Dr. Worthington said in a rather condescending manner.

"Exactly! _Usually_ donors are 18 years old or older. _Usually_ they're similar in size if not bigger. But that doesn't mean they _have_ to be!" Logan retorted.

"Do you know _why_ donors are usually 18 years or older?"

"Don't talk to me like I have no idea what I'm talking about!"

"Oh, that's right! You're some Doogie Howser! Or at least in your mind you are!"

Dr. Summers heard the argument, and saw its source of origin. She walked over, standing beside her patient, and draping an arm over his shoulder.

"Dr. Worthington's not giving you any trouble, is he?" Dr. Summers asked, glaring at said doctor.

"Why don't you take a hike? This doesn't concern you!" Dr. Worthington remarked.

"Talking to people like that might work on other people around here, but it won't work on me."

"Ooh! I'm shaking in my boots now!"

Logan marveled at how Dr. Summers wasn't backing down in the slightest from Dr. Worthington.

"Now, what seems to be the problem?" Dr. Summers asked Logan.

"I want to get tested to see if my liver is compatible with James," Logan replied.

"And I was just kindly reminding Logan that he doesn't meet the donor criteria," Dr. Worthington interjected.

"Kindly? Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Dr. Summers remarked, causing Logan to snicker.

"Well, we'll start with having some blood work done. If your blood types are a match, then we'll take it from there," Dr. Summers said.

"Excuse me, but James is _my_ patient!" Dr. Worthington exclaimed.

"And Logan's _mine_!" Dr. Summers retorted. "Come on, Logan."

Dr. Summers led Logan down the hallway away from a seething Dr. Worthington. She took Logan to her office.

"How do you do it?" Logan asked.

"Do what?" Dr. Summers replied.

"Stand up to him like that and make it look so easy."

"From what I heard, you were doing a pretty good job of that yourself."

Logan blushed bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm glad I found you, Logan. Your guardian is here. She's signing your discharge papers as we speak," Dr. Summers said.

"Really? That's great!" Logan said happily. Truth be told, he was getting of tired of being at the hospital.

"And Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"I really think it's admirable what you're doing to try to help James."

"I haven't done anything yet."

"Actually, you have. Probably more than you realize too."

XXXXX

Camille showed up at Logan's hospital room, carrying a neatly folded change of clothes in her arms. She was somewhat disappointed to only find Carlos and Kendall in the room when she got there.

"Where's Logan?" she asked.

Carlos and Kendall both shrugged their shoulders. Camille got a weird vibe from the both of them. The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. She wondered what had happened.

"Okay, would somebody tell me what happened? Why do you two look like you can't stand to be in the same room as each other?" Camille inquired.

"Because we can't!" Carlos exclaimed.

Carlos fell silent. Camille then looked to Kendall for a further explanation.

"As it turns out, sweet, innocent Carlos isn't so sweet and innocent," Kendall stated. "He just told me that he hopes I die."

Camille gasped.

"Only because _Kendall_ said that he rather have James die than him!" Carlos countered.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out! What's this about James dying?" Camille asked.

Was it possible? Did Carlos and Kendall know more about what was going on with James than she did? Why was she the last to know these things? She felt so out of the loop.

"He has a rare liver disease, Camille. He's dying. The only chance he's got is if he gets a liver transplant," Carlos explained.

Camille leaned against the doorframe, her knees feeling wobbly all of a sudden. This was too much to take in all at once.

"So he might not even be alive to see the birth of his son or daughter," Camille said more to herself than to Carlos and Kendall.

"Say what?" Carlos and Kendall asked in stereo.

"Yeah, apparently he got some girl knocked up. She's new to The Palm Woods," Camille explained.

"I knew it! I knew Logan should just stay away from James!" Kendall commented.

Carlos was at a loss for words. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. There was no way! James would never do that to Logan! He would never betray him like that! If he would, then Kendall was right about him all along, and Carlos refused to believe that Kendall was right.

"Does Logan know?" Kendall asked. Carlos gave Kendall a dirty look. Carlos figured Kendall was all too happy to go to Logan with this news.

"Not that I know of. But we can't tell him. You know how devastated he'll be. He really…" Camille got a bit choked up. "He really cares about James."

"Yeah, but if we keep something like this from Logan, and he finds out, he'll never forgive us," Carlos spoke up.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Carlos. The longer we wait to tell Logan, the more upset he'll be with us for not telling him sooner," Kendall said.

Carlos stuck his tongue out at Kendall, not appreciating the little jab Kendall made at him.

"Yeah, but Logan's already been through so much. I don't think he can take anymore," Camille said.

"He's a lot tougher than you give him credit for, Camille," Kendall said.

"Oh please! You just want to break Logan and James up!" Carlos remarked.

"Hey! You want to tell Logan too!"

"Yeah, but I don't want to break Logan and James up like you do!"

The three of them were in quite a pickle. This was huge news. The question was what do they do? Should they tell Logan, or keep it a secret from him? It seemed like a lose-lose situation no matter how you sliced it. Logan was bound to be crushed no matter what.

To Be Continued…


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…still.**

**Big Time Sick**

Dr. Worthington came in to examine James. He placed a stethoscope against different locations on James' back, and told him to breathe in and out. Afterwards, he took the stethoscope out of his ears, and let it hang around his neck.

"Well?" James asked.

"Well what?" Dr. Worthington replied.

"What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

James was trying to decide if Dr. Worthington was just stupid or if he just didn't care, maybe it was even a combination of both. At any rate, honestly, it didn't seem like the doctor was trying very hard. It also seemed like he was rushing through the check-up.

"I fainted," James said.

"Well there you go. Case closed," Dr. Worthington responded.

"Case closed? What do you mean case closed? Why did I faint?"

"I don't know. It was probably a symptom of your liver disease or something."

"What do you know about my liver disease anyways?"

Dr. Worthington shifted uncomfortably. He glanced at the time on his watch. He looked annoyed. He acted like he had some place else he rather be. One thing was for sure though; he sure was taking his sweet time answering James' question.

"Just read your lab results. It explained it in there," Dr. Worthington told James.

"I don't want to read my lab results. I've already read my lab results. Now I'm asking you," James replied.

"Look, what are you trying to pull?"

"Pull? I'm not trying to pull anything! I want to know more about the disease I have. Wouldn't you if you were me?"

"Frankly, if I were you, the less I knew about my disease, the better off I'd be."

James was practically at a loss for words. He was starting to get the impression that Dr. Worthington didn't know anything about the disease other than what was mentioned in James' lab results. Wasn't it Dr. Worthington's job to research things like this? To know all that there was to know?

"I'm going to go," Dr. Worthington said.

As he went to leave he collided into someone, knocking that someone to the ground.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Dr. Worthington yelled.

As soon as James saw who it was, he rushed over to Dr. Worthington, grabbed him by the shoulder, spun him around so that he was facing him.

"Don't talk to Logan like that!" James warned.

"My apologies," Dr. Worthington said half-heartedly, before walking away from the two boys.

James took Logan's hands, and hoisted him to his feet.

"Thanks," Logan said.

"Are you okay?" James asked.

"I think so."

James startled Logan when he suddenly and unexpectedly pulled him in for a hug. The embrace was extremely enthusiastic, and was broken up as soon as Logan started wincing in pain.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" James asked, full of regret.

"It's fine, James. My ribs are just bandaged up. That's all," Logan answered.

James felt like such an idiot. Of course they were! James only made things worse by hugging him. He should have known better.

"I'm sorry. It's just aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" James commented.

Logan blushed fiercely, bashfully averting his gaze. James chuckled at how adorable Logan got. Then again, James found practically everything Logan did adorable. This just happened to be _especially_ adorable.

"It's good to see you too. I was so worried when I heard you had been taken to the hospital," Logan stated.

It was now James' turn to reassure Logan that he was fine.

"I'm fine," James said. He laughed. "According to my doctor, there's nothing wrong with me."

Logan got kind of quiet all of a sudden.

"Um, may I come in? We should probably talk about that," Logan said.

"Yeah. Come in. Come in," James responded.

The two of them sat on the foot of James' hospital bed. James watched Logan with rapt attention.

"So, I did some research, and your disease," Logan said, having trouble uttering that word. "Well, to put it simply, it means the mushrooming of your liver. Myconid means mushroom, you see."

"What you're saying is that my liver is swelling up? It's getting bigger," James responded.

Logan nodded his head.

"How big does it get? When does it stop swelling up?" James asked.

Logan's eyes started to fill with tears. He tore his gaze away from James.

"Hey, you can tell me. I can take it," James said, gently grabbing Logan's chin, and turning it towards him.

"It swells up until it bursts. When it does that, the patient…the patient…dies," Logan answered.

James let Logan rest his head on his shoulder and cry. James stroked Logan's hair while he patiently let him get it all out of his system. Finally, mercifully, Logan stopped.

"Are you better?" James asked.

"Of course not. I'm not accepting this, James. This isn't how your story's going to end. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I had Dr. Summers get a blood sample from me. If it matches your blood type, then I could be a liver donor for you," Logan said.

James adamantly shook his head.

"Absolutely not!" James exclaimed.

"Why not? James, do you have any idea how many people are on an organ donor waiting list?" Logan asked.

"It doesn't matter! I'm not going to have you risk your life for me!"

Logan took both of James' hands in his.

"James, there's only a 0.5 to 1 percent chance that I could die from donating my liver," Logan explained.

"In English," James commented.

"Say there were 100 liver transplants. Of those, only one of those liver donors would actually die. Or better yet, say there were 200 liver transplants. Only one of those liver donors would die."

"But you could still _die_, right?"

"Yes, but that most likely won't happen."

James freed his hands from Logan's. He gave Logan an irritated look.

"What if it does? What if you are that one liver donor out of the two hundred that dies? I can't let you donate your liver, Logan! It's too big of a risk!" James exclaimed.

"James, you have to understand something; if you wait to get a liver donated to you through the organ donor waiting list, you will die before you even get someone else's liver. You read your lab results. Getting a new liver is the _only_ way you can beat this thing," Logan said.

"I don't care! You're not donating your liver, Logan! My decision is final!"

"So you rather I watch you die?"

"It's better than me having to watch _you_ die!"

Logan couldn't believe the way James was acting. He thought James would be appreciative. He thought James would be proud of him. He thought wrong.

"So you're just giving up then?" Logan asked.

"I'm not giving up!" James exclaimed.

"Yes you are! The James Diamond I know and love isn't a quitter!"

James' jaw and heart went in two entirely different directions; his jaw dropped while his heart soared. He couldn't get over what Logan just said to him.

"You love me?" James asked, stunned.

Logan's cheeks turned as red as a beet. He bashfully rubbed the back of his neck.

"Why so surprised?" Logan remarked.

"Come here," James commanded.

Logan stood on his tiptoes, and James tilted his head down. Logan wrapped his arms around James' neck. The two lovers shared a long overdue kiss. Logan broke the kiss up in order to say something. James disapproved, almost letting out a growl of sorts.

"So I take it you love me too?" Logan asked.

"Just shut up and kiss me!" James ordered.

XXXXX

"There you dogs are!" Gustavo said upon entering Logan's hospital room.

"Aah!" Carlos and Kendall screamed, jumping upon seeing Gustavo at the hospital.

Kelly followed behind Gustavo, her clipboard, like always, in her arms. What was even on that thing anyways? She always seemed to carry it around with her everywhere she went.

"I thought you dogs were supposed to come to the studio?" Gustavo asked in his normal speaking voice which was considered shouting to most people.

"Okay, will somebody explain to me why you're at a hospital?" Kelly remarked.

Just as Carlos went to open his mouth, Kendall spoke.

"Logan got beat up by a bully at school," Kendall answered.

"Hey, I was going to tell them!" Carlos exclaimed.

"It matters!" Kendall remarked sarcastically.

Kelly looked to Gustavo who merely shrugged his shoulders. Carlos and Kendall clearly weren't getting along with one another. That much was certain. But why? What was going on with these boys?

"Wait, so it was so bad that Logan had to be taken to the hospital?" Gustavo asked.

"Yeah, he had to have nose surgery," Carlos said, beating Kendall to the punch.

"Then James got detention today because he and Ozzy, the bully, got into a fight at school," Kendall explained.

Carlos and Kendall glared daggers at one another. Carlos stuck his tongue out at Kendall and vice versa.

"And we recently found out that James is sick. Like _really_ sick. He has some disease called late onset liver moo shu," Carlos said.

"Myconidis!" Kendall corrected.

"It matters!" Carlos retorted.

"I just brought Logan a change of clothes," Camille said somewhat lamely.

Gustavo and Kelly were stunned. How could all of this have happened? How did they not know about any of this? Sure, the boys hadn't been showing up for rehearsal, but Gustavo and Kelly just thought it was because they were being lazy and complacent. They had no idea it was because all of this was happening.

"We also recently found out that James is…" Carlos started to say.

Camille ran over to Carlos, wrapped one arm around his stomach, and took her other hand and clamped it over Carlos' mouth. Carlos let out muffled screams.

"Nothing!" Camille exclaimed hastily.

"O…kay…" Gustavo and Kelly said slowly and in unison.

"Where is James anyways?" Kelly asked.

"I don't know. What do I look like? His babysitter?" Kendall shot back.

Kelly had an 'Oh no he didn't!' look on her face that Gustavo was all too familiar with.

"Come on. Let's go find them," Gustavo said. "We're still having a full rehearsal tonight by the way."

Camille finally let go of Carlos. Her hand was coated with Carlos' saliva. She disgustedly wiped it off on her blouse. Carlos and Kendall both groaned at what Gustavo had told them.

"But we have school tomorrow!" Kendall whined.

"I guess you dogs should have thought of that before you decided to be late for rehearsal!" Gustavo responded.

XXXXX

"James, are you okay?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, why?" James answered.

"You seem kind of distracted. Is something on your mind? Is there something you want to tell me?"

James thought about the bombshell that he is going to be a father. James was still having a hard time coming to terms with that himself. He had convinced himself though that Logan didn't need to know about that.

"Nope. Nothing," James replied.

Logan looked skeptical still, so James kissed him on the lips. He nearly pouted when Logan pushed him away.

"Seriously James, what is going on with you? You're acting…different," Logan said.

James sighed. Maybe he wasn't as good of an actor as he thought he was. After all, Logan was somehow able to see right through him.

"Logan, promise me that no matter what you might hear, you won't believe them," James said.

"What? What are you talking about?" Logan asked.

"Just promise me!"

"What are people going to say to me?"

"I can't say."

"You can't or you won't?"

"Both."

Logan walked away from James, none too happy with him. He stopped at the doorway, and turned back around to face James.

"You know I hate it when people lie to me," Logan stated.

"I'm not lying to you!" James countered.

"Yeah, well you're keeping something from me! To me, that's just as bad!"

James' eyes filled with tears. He hated this. He hated keeping this from Logan, but he had no other choice. If he told Logan, it would destroy him. If he told Logan, he would lose him. James couldn't take that chance.

"I'll ask you one more time; is there anything you want to tell me?" Logan inquired.

James didn't answer Logan verbally. Instead, he pursed his lips together. Logan saw this, and had his answer. He shook his head in disappointment before walking away from James.

To Be Continued…


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: For those of you who weren't aware, I wrote three one-shots based off the newest episode, "Big Time Secret." One is Jagan. One is Kogan. One is Cargan. You should check them out if you haven't already.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Class was over. Logan had to talk to Miss Collins after class, so he was still there. Trishelle saw this, and stuck around as well. She walked over to Logan's desk, and held out her hand for Logan to shake.

"Hi! I'm Trishelle. I'm new to The Palm Woods," she greeted.

As Logan shook her hand, he really got to see her for the first time.

"I'm Logan. Have we…met before? You look kind of familiar," Logan commented.

Trishelle took her pointer finger and traced Logan's chest.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure," she said in a seductive voice.

Logan shouldered his backpack, turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. He couldn't get away from Trishelle fast enough. She was making him uncomfortable. He was pretty sure she was trying to hit on him.

"Hey! Where are you going? Aren't you going to show me around?" she hollered.

Trishelle was attempting to weave a tangled web. This latest development was certainly a setback. She aimed to befriend Logan; become so close to him that when the truth came out, he wouldn't believe it, choosing to believe her instead. She was prepared to do whatever it took to get close to Logan.

She still wanted to raise her child with James though. There was no way she could con Logan into believing that the baby was his. After all, the two of them hadn't ever slept together, so it was impossible.

Of course, James _wasn't_ really the father. She and James never even had sex. She just made it _seem_ like they had sex when they woke up in bed together that one morning. Right now, James didn't believe her when she said that he was the father, but Trishelle had no doubt in her mind that she could change James' mind. It was only a matter of time before he was like any other guy; putty in her hands.

This whole scheme of hers was very elaborate, and the biggest safeguard she had was that she had an ex-boyfriend that was a lab tech down at the hospital. The two of them were still on good terms with each other. Any type of test results would have to come through the lab, and hence her ex-boyfriend. He could then make the test results say whatever Trishelle _wanted_ them to say. So if she wanted the date of conception to be the night she and James slept together, he would make sure it happened. If she wanted the paternity test when there was one to say that James was the baby's father, her ex-boyfriend would see that it did.

XXXXX

The first thing Carlos did after school was over was go down to the hospital. He took a shuttle so that way he wouldn't have to tell anyone else where he was going or what he was doing.

After asking around, he was able to find the location of Dr. Summers' office. He knocked on the door.

"Come in," Dr. Summers said.

Carlos opened the door. Dr. Summers was looking through some medical charts. There was a stack of them on her desk in addition to the folder in her hand.

"Hey…Carlos…is it?" she asked.

Carlos nodded his head.

"What can I help you with?" Dr. Summers asked, setting her medical chart down.

"Um…I'd like to have some blood drawn to see if I could be a liver donor for James," Carlos answered.

Dr. Summers wasn't the least bit surprised. She had a feeling that it was only a matter of time before the rest of James' friends wanted to get tested as well. She wasn't the least bit surprised that Carlos was the next one to come forward.

"Does James know you're doing this?" Dr. Summers questioned.

"No, and could you not tell him? He's not too happy that Logan got tested, so I don't think he'd be happy that I'm getting tested too," Carlos said.

"Of course. This will just stay between the two of us."

Carlos smiled a grateful smile at Dr. Summers. He was amazed at how different Logan's doctor was from James' doctor. Dr. Summers was the kind of doctor you wanted to have while Dr. Worthington was like a doctor from some nightmare.

As Dr. Summers was prepping Carlos' arm to have blood drawn, she had to ask something first.

"You're not afraid of needles or squeamish when it comes to blood, are you?" she inquired.

"Bring it," Carlos said.

Dr. Summers laughed. Carlos seemed like such a sweetheart. Much like Logan was. She thought James was lucky to have such great friends. After drawing an adequate amount of blood, she firmly held a piece of gauze over the puncture wound.

"Can you hold this while I get you a Band-aid?" Dr. Summers asked politely.

"Do you have any superhero ones?" Carlos asked, immediately becoming embarrassed afterwards.

"I've got Superman, Batman, and Spiderman."

Carlos' breath hitched in his throat at the mentioning of Spiderman. That made him think of Kendall because Spiderman was Kendall's favorite superhero. Thinking of Kendall just made Carlos remember how the two of them weren't getting along. He valiantly struggled to hold his tears back.

"Superman will be fine," Carlos answered.

XXXXX

James was annoyed that Kendall had followed him all the way back to their apartment. He knew better than to think that Kendall wanted to chill with his buddy. No, James was convinced that Kendall had a bone to pick with him. He was just trying to delay the inevitable.

"What do you want, Kendall?" James asked, annoyed.

"You need to tell Logan the truth!" Kendall exclaimed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Don't play dumb with me!"

Hands down, out of the four of them, Kendall and James were the most stubborn. When the two of them fought, it was like two bulls locking horns with one another.

"How do you even know?" James asked.

"Huh. I thought you had no idea what I was talking about?" Kendall remarked.

"Just answer the question!"

"Watch how you talk to me!"

"Oh, come off it!"

Kendall's hands balled up into fists at his side at the same time that James' did. Both boys had their teeth gritted together. Nostrils weren't the only things flaring; tempers were too.

"It's okay for you to talk to me like that, but I'm not allowed to talk to you like that?" James demanded.

"You got that right," Kendall replied.

James marched right over to Kendall and got in his face. He towered over Kendall just a little bit, but Kendall wasn't about to back down.

"Keep it up, Kendall, and you'll be all alone," James warned.

"No, I won't! You're one to talk anyways! I heard you and Logan aren't getting along," Kendall responded.

"Oh, and I bet you're just loving that, aren't you?"

"You're two for two."

Kendall snapped his fingers.

"Did you hear that? I can ruin any chance you have with Logan that quick," Kendall stated.

James shoved Kendall hard.

"Don't. You. Dare!" James exclaimed.

"I'm not afraid of you, James," Kendall retorted.

Logan entered Apartment 2J at precisely this moment. He saw that James and Kendall were standing toe-to-toe. It was apparent that the two of them were having some kind of argument. They were on the cusp of having it turn into a full-out brawl.

"Is everything okay in here?" Logan asked.

XXXXX

Carlos got off the shuttle. He was back at The Palm Woods. Just as he was about to head into the lobby, he heard a familiar voice that sent a shiver up and down his spine.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here," Ozzy said.

Carlos turned around to face the school bully. He held his hands up in front of him.

"I don't want any trouble," Carlos stated, his voice quivering.

Carlos had a bad feeling about this. It wouldn't have been so bad if Kendall, James, and Logan were with him. Heck, if _anyone_ was with him. But, as it turned out, Carlos was all by himself; a fact Ozzy was well aware of.

Carlos made a dash for the lobby, but Ozzy grabbed him, and shoved him backwards, thwarting his attempt.

"Where do you think you're going? Did I say you could leave?" Ozzy asked menacingly.

Carlos barely managed to stay on his feet. He started slowly backing away from Ozzy.

"Aw! Will you look at that? The little baby's afraid," Ozzy remarked.

Carlos whipped out his cell phone. He hit a number on speed dial. Then Ozzy knocked the phone out of his hand. There was a loud smack as it hit the concrete, but remarkably, it stayed in one piece.

"I don't think so," Ozzy said as he stalked his prey.

"Hello? Carlos?" James asked, as he answered his cell phone.

James couldn't hear Carlos at all. He couldn't hear anything. He started to think that maybe Carlos was just playing some sort of prank on him or something. Just as he was about to hang up, he could barely make out Ozzy's voice on the other end.

"Your friends aren't going to save you now," Ozzy said.

"Carlos? Carlos! Where are you?" James screamed into his phone, hoping that Carlos would be able to hear him.

Kendall and Logan both looked at James with worried expressions on their faces. Was something wrong with Carlos? Was he in some kind of trouble? Come to think of it, they hadn't seen Carlos since class got out.

"What's with this stupid helmet?" Ozzy asked, ripping the helmet off Carlos' head.

"Hey! Give that back!" Carlos exclaimed reaching for it as Ozzy held it high above his head.

Carlos jumped up and tried to grab his helmet, but it was just out of reach. Ozzy laughed, amused by Carlos' feeble attempts.

"Okay, okay. I'll tell you what. You can have it back," Ozzy said before he chucked the helmet at Carlos' head not unlike he would chuck a dodge ball.

There was a sickening thud as the hard plastic collided with human flesh. Carlos fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. His eyes started to well up with tears, and he was pretty sure he could already feel a welt start to form on his head.

"Is the little baby going to cry now? That's right, Carlitos, cry for me," Ozzy said, hunching over Carlos' prone body.

On the other end of the phone, James had heard enough. There wasn't a moment to lose. He took off running. He had to find Carlos. He didn't know where Carlos was, but that wasn't going to stop him. Kendall and Logan were right behind James, their personal problems with one another forgotten.

Carlos didn't want to do what Ozzy wanted him to do, but he still couldn't help the tears from falling. As he curled his body into a fetal position, he noticed his cell phone off in the distance. Was there a chance that it wasn't broken? Was it possible that James could hear everything that was happening? Carlos figured there was no harm in trying.

"James, if you can hear me, I'm outside the front entrance!" Carlos yelled at the top of his lungs.

Ozzy's facial features darkened.

"Now why did you have to go and do that?" Ozzy asked, before he started mercilessly kicking Carlos in the ribs.

Carlos tried to protect his ribs by covering them with his hands, but then his fingers got smashed by Ozzy's kicks. This caused Carlos to remove his hands from his ribcage, leaving his ribs exposed all over again. This cycle of pain repeated itself over and over again. The kicks were starting to become more and more frequent.

"Stop! Please stop!" Carlos cried out.

The front doors to The Palm Woods opened, and James, Kendall, and Logan ran to the aid of their beaten best friend.

"Hey! Pick on someone your own size!" James shouted as he rushed to Carlos' aid.

With one final, emphatic kick to Carlos' ribs, Ozzy hightailed it, but not before saying to Carlos, "Go back to Mexico!"

James was the first one to reach Carlos. He took a seat on the ground, and gathered Carlos in his arms. Carlos rolled over onto his stomach, and was coughing a hacking cough. James, Kendall, and Logan all were horrified when they realized that Carlos was coughing up his own blood.

"It's okay, Carlos. I'm right here. You're going to be just fine," James said. _You have to be_.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Okay…what was with the Jarlos in this chapter? Though if you think about it, it made sense that Carlos called James. He was fighting with Kendall, and he didn't want Logan to get bullied by Ozzy either. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Big Time Sick**

Kendall, James, and Logan were huddled around Carlos' hospital bed. Their helmet-wearing best friend had a welt on his head, but fortunately, he didn't suffer any brain damage. Some of his ribs were cracked. Practically all of his ribs were bruised. By far, the most serious of his injuries was internal bleeding.

Sure Kendall and Carlos hadn't been getting along, but he never would have wished this on anyone, least of all Carlos. As he watched Carlos rest peacefully, he felt a twinge of guilt. The last thing Carlos probably remembered about Kendall was them fighting. The leader hated how _that_ was Carlos' last memory of him.

This brought back old memories for Logan. Growing up, Carlos and hospital rooms were almost like best friends because he spent so much time in the hospital. His reckless behavior would always end up with getting him hurt. Bullies at school would beat him up to the point where he would need to be taken to the hospital. _It should have been me._

No one was more worked up over what happened to Carlos than James was. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, causing his knuckles to turn white. Tears of fury leaked from the corners of his eyes as he watched over Carlos. He felt like he had somehow failed Carlos.

"I swear when I get my hands on Ozzy, I'm gonna kill him!" James remarked.

Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. James didn't seem to notice this, but Kendall did however. He glowered at an oblivious James. He was hurting Logan without even knowing that was what he was doing.

"What kind of sick freak would pick on someone as sweet as Carlos?" James asked.

Logan rose from his seat as he couldn't get out of the room quick enough. James watched Logan leave. He was confused by Logan's behavior. Was it something he said? He didn't remember saying anything bad. He didn't remember saying anything about Logan for that matter. So why did he leave in such a hurry?

"You idiot!" Kendall commented to James.

"What?" James replied.

Kendall scoffed, shaking his head at James. The taller boy wasn't known for his intellect, but still it amazed Kendall how stupid James could be sometimes.

"Logan thinks you care more about Carlos than you do him!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Really? Why would he think that?" James responded.

"How clueless can you be? I shouldn't have to tell you what you did wrong every time you do something wrong!"

"Well I really don't know what I did wrong, so tell me already!"

"If you want to know what you did wrong, then figure it out yourself!"

Kendall left James staring at him with wide eyes and mouth agape. James shouldn't have expected anything differently from Kendall. As of late, Kendall seemed to hate his guts. James couldn't even remember the last time he and Kendall weren't bitter enemies.

XXXXX

Logan shut the bathroom stall behind him, locking the door. He collapsed onto the toilet seat, buried his face in his hands, and cried. He really shouldn't be so surprised. Even though he and James were friends before either one of them met Carlos, James and Carlos have always been particularly close. They _were _roommates.

Logan couldn't help but wonder if James got so worked up when Ozzy had beat _him_ up. He knew that James got detention for him, but as far as Logan knew, James didn't threaten to kill Ozzy, and he definitely didn't kill him if Ozzy was still around to bully Carlos. In Logan's mind, that said everything right there.

He shook with sobs. This tore him apart inside. He cared about James very much. He _loved_ James. He loved him more than he's ever loved anyone that wasn't his family. Logan felt like he deserved better than to play second fiddle to anyone where James' affections were concerned.

Logan heard a knock on the bathroom stall.

"Someone's in here," Logan called out, his voice nasally.

"It's me," Kendall responded.

Logan unlocked the door, and opened it up to reveal an extremely concerned looking Kendall. He had a sympathetic look on his face that Logan desperately wanted to go away. He didn't want anyone's sympathy right now. All he wanted was James back for he felt like he had somehow lost him.

"James is an idiot," Kendall commented.

"If you came here to bag on James, then you should leave now," Logan replied, not even looking Kendall in the eyes as he spoke.

Kendall was stunned how even now, Logan was still defending James. He didn't understand that one bit. It was clear to him that James was the reason Logan was crying right now. Why would Logan defend James then?

"Actually, there's something I've been wanting to tell you," Kendall said.

XXXXX

Carlos cracked his eyes open only to immediately squeeze them shut after having been blinded by the white light. He slowly, cautiously opened his eyes one at a time. As soon as his vision focused, he was saddened by the fact that only James was in the room.

"Where is everyone?" Carlos croaked, his voice hoarse.

James wasn't even sure how to answer that question. Besides, answering the question would mean telling Carlos how apparently he had messed up even though he still wasn't sure _how_ he messed up.

"I'm so glad you're okay! I was so worried about you!" James commented, before throwing his arms around Carlos in an embrace.

Carlos was startled by James' sudden embrace. He curved his lips downwards in a frown. He now his answer as to why it was only James in the room. He feebly shoved James away, his strength not being what it usually was.

"You hurt Logan's feelings, didn't you?" Carlos asked.

James pulled back, and looked at Carlos, confused. How did everyone know what he did wrong _except_ for him? Was that what happened? He had hurt Logan's feelings. James wasn't even sure. All he really knew was that Logan left the room suddenly and unexpectedly.

"Oh, James," Carlos said taking James' silence as answer enough.

"What does he want me to do? _Not_ be worried about you when a bully beats you up?" James asked.

Carlos slapped his forehead.

"Of course not, James! He just wants to feel like he matters to you just as much as I do, if not more," Carlos said.

"What should I have done differently?" James asked.

Carlos chuckled lightly.

"How can you be so good with the girls, but so horrible with Logan?" Carlos asked rhetorically.

"Carlos, that doesn't really answer my question," James stated.

"James, you can't change what you've done, but you can still change things. Talk to Logan. Reassure him of exactly how much he means to you."

XXXXX

"Logan, James got a girl pregnant. He's going to be a father," Kendall said.

Logan felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He looked at Kendall, silently begging him to say that he was lying. What Kendall said couldn't be true. James would never do that to him! When would he have done that to him? How could he have done that to him?

"You're lying," Logan replied.

Kendall put a hand on Logan's shoulder, which Logan immediately shook off.

"I wish I was, Logie, but I'm not. If you don't believe me, ask James yourself," Kendall said.

"I don't believe you, Kendall! You just want to break me and James up!" Logan exclaimed.

"Unlike James, I would never lie to you."

"Shut up!"

Logan forcefully pushed Kendall backwards so that he collided into the bathroom wall. Kendall hadn't been expecting that at all. He was surprised by how hard Logan had shoved him too. He hadn't meant to make Logan mad at him.

"Have you ever got the feeling that James was keeping something from you? Well, _this_ is what he was keeping from you. He didn't just find out either. He's known for awhile, yet he made a decision _not_ to tell you," Kendall said.

Logan hated to admit it, but he did feel like James was keeping something from him. He remembered asking James if there was anything he wanted to tell him. Though it looked like there was, James said there wasn't. Was it possible that James had been lying when he said that?

"Stop it, Kendall! Just stop! I don't want to hear it!" Logan shouted.

"You might not _want_ to hear it, but you _need _to hear it!" Kendall retorted.

"Fine! I'll go ask James only to prove that you're wrong!"

XXXXX

Logan was looking for James, and James was looking for Logan. They both found each other somewhere in between the men's restroom and Carlos' hospital room.

"Logan, look. I just wanted to tell you that…" James started to say.

"Did you get a girl pregnant?" Logan asked.

James fell silent. He averted his gaze. He couldn't look in Logan's eyes. He was afraid of what he might see if he did. How did Logan find out? Someone had to have told him, but who? It couldn't have been Carlos because James had been in the same room as Carlos. _Kendall_.

"It's true? Oh my God! How could you?" Logan remarked, eyes glistening with tears.

"Logan, I…" James started to explain.

"Just save it, James! I don't want to hear your excuses! I don't want to hear _anything_ you have to say! I can't even look at you right now!"

Logan turned away from James, and started to walk away. James panicked, and grabbed Logan's wrist.

"It was only one time. She meant nothing to me! I feel nothing towards her!" James exclaimed.

"Obviously you felt _something_ towards her if you got her knocked up!" Logan retaliated.

James' eyes welled up with tears. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go at all. He went to find Logan to tell him how much he meant to him, but instead he was trying to explain to Logan how the girl he got pregnant meant nothing to him.

"I love you, Logan!" James said desperately.

"Just not enough to be with me in the way that you were with that girl, right? Your loving me isn't enough! Not anymore!" Logan shouted back.

James was tripping over his words. He felt like someone had ran his heart through a cheese grater, shredding it into tiny slivers. He was having difficulty breathing. He couldn't even see Logan through his tear-clouded eyes.

"I don't even remember sleeping with her!" James cried out.

"Oh my God! You're saying all the wrong things!" Logan yelled back.

Apparently, Carlos was right. James had no trouble talking to the ladies. When it came to Logan though, it was an entirely different story. Even though Logan was standing right in front of him, to James, it felt like they were miles apart.

"This is what you were keeping from me, wasn't it? I asked you if there was anything you wanted to tell me, and you told me there wasn't!" Logan said, his voice chock full of painful realization.

"I didn't want you to find out like this!" James said.

"No, you rather I didn't find out at all, right?"

James placed the palms of his hands against the nearby wall. That was the only way he could stay on his feet. His knees trembled, knocking into one another. What was left of his heart was racing.

"Logan, I can't lose you!" James exclaimed.

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you got a girl pregnant!" Logan shot back.

"Logie, please!"

"We're done, James! You and I are finished!"

Logan roughly brushed past James as he walked past him, never once looking back.

To Be Continued…


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Nickelodeon owns Big Time Rush. I am not making a profit by writing this.**

**Big Time Sick**

James didn't know if it was because Logan just broke up with him or if it was something to do with his liver, but the restroom was spinning around him. His vision was blurry. He couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. His knees were wobbly, making him feel like he was on spaghetti legs.

James tried to call for help, but his throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper. He quickly found that he couldn't even scream if he wanted to. His eyes darted around the restroom in a frenzied state.

Soon, he was laying parallel to the floor. He could feel the cool bathroom tile against his face. It was like every ounce of strength had been sapped from him. He just lay there unable to move or speak. Tears streamed from his eyes in torrents.

James didn't know what he was going to do without Logan. He was James' whole world. He had seen Logan every day for the last twelve years. They were in a band together. They lived together. He would still be able to see him, but James knew that things wouldn't be the same.

James had a hard time owning up to his mistakes, but that was just the thing; James didn't do anything wrong this time. He honestly didn't remember sleeping with Trishelle. James didn't remember too much about sex ed, but didn't a guy and girl have to actually…do the deed…in order for a girl to get pregnant? He felt like Trishelle was trying to con them all. He couldn't figure out her end game though no matter how much he tried.

Was she just some fan girl obsessed with James? Did she want something from him? Money? Fame? Or maybe she was just trying to ruin Big Time Rush. Maybe she was working with someone who would love to see Big Time Rush fail. Hawk perhaps. That was ridiculous though, wasn't it? Trishelle probably didn't even know who Hawk was, let alone be working with him.

James had noticed over the years that Logan was big on trust. Right now, he felt like he couldn't trust James. On the one hand, James couldn't blame Logan, but on the other hand, he felt like he hadn't done anything to make him seem untrustworthy _lately_. There was that time where he kissed Logan's girlfriend while they had been going out, but James had apologized profusely for that. They were past that, weren't they?

A searing hot pain disturbed James' thoughts. Suddenly, the feeling that someone had a match to his lower back was the only thing he could feel. He made a pitiful attempt at uttering a scream, but it was no dice. About the only thing he could do to try to alleviate the pain was to writhe on the floor.

XXXXX

"Hey Logan, wait up!" Kendall called out.

Logan stopped in his tracks. He was seething with anger. He never recalled being so angry before in his life. There seemed to be no end to how betrayed he felt. He had a feeling that Kendall just wanted to talk to him so he could gloat about being right.

"I was right, wasn't I?" Kendall asked. "I'm so sorry. I wish I wasn't right."

Logan spun around on his heels and scoffed at Kendall.

"Whatever, Kendall. You wanted to break me and James up, and you succeeded, so congratulations," Logan said insincerely.

Kendall went to hug Logan, but Logan placed a palm on his chest, keeping him at bay.

"What I don't get is why didn't you tell me sooner?" Logan asked, his voice completely devoid of emotion.

Kendall firmly grabbed Logan by the shoulders, but Logan swatted Kendall's hands away.

"Don't touch me!" Logan shouted.

"I was the one person who told you! Me! I did that! Not James! Not Camille! Not Carlos!" Kendall exclaimed.

Logan was reeling from this newfound information. Camille and Carlos knew too? Who else knew? Did everyone know? Everyone but Logan himself, that is. When were they going to tell him? Were they even going to tell him? Didn't he have a right to know?

"You're unbelievable! You have no problem throwing others under the bus, do you? You disgust me!" Logan remarked.

"I did you a favor, Logan. You might not realize it right now, but I did. You and James don't belong together. He doesn't deserve you. He's all wrong for you!" Kendall commented.

"That's not for you to decide, Kendall! Not once did I say a bad thing about Jo! I never tried to break you and Jo up! It doesn't matter who you date! Just like it doesn't matter how I feel about that person! It doesn't matter if I think that person is right for you! All that matters is that you love that person! As long as that's true, then I'll be happy for you!"

"Do you? Do you love James?"

"I do, and I know James loves me too."

Logan stopped for a moment as he came to an epiphany. Kendall couldn't have been more obvious about his intentions, but as far as Logan was concerned, Kendall did the exact opposite of what he set out to do.

"I should thank you, Kendall, because you made me realize something; James is innocent. I don't know how, but I feel like I owe it to him to explain himself. I'm sure this is all one big misunderstanding," Logan said much more calmly.

"What if it isn't?" Kendall asked.

"If not, you'll be the last to know."

Logan left a stunned Kendall in search of James. He had some apologizing to do. He hoped James would forgive him. He hoped that James would take him back.

XXXXX

Logan poked his head in Carlos' hospital room, hoping to find James there. He didn't see James, but he entered the room anyways.

"You know, don't you? I'm so sorry, Logan. I wanted to tell you, but I had only _just_ found out not too long ago, and then I got beat up by Ozzy, and well…" Carlos said, desperately seeking Logan's forgiveness.

Carlos was bewildered when Logan walked over to him and hugged him.

"No, Carlos, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I'm sorry that you're here in the hospital. I'm just…sorry," Logan said.

Carlos playfully socked Logan in the shoulder.

"You apologize too much. Do you know that?" Carlos commented, smirking.

"I have a lot to apologize for. I haven't really been myself lately," Logan replied.

Carlos' heart swelled with pity, when Logan started breaking down right in front of him. Carlos placed Logan's head against his chest as he held his crying friend.

"I messed up, Carlos. Real bad," Logan said, sniffling.

"You're only human, Logie. We all make mistakes," Carlos responded.

Logan lifted his head from Carlos' chest, and laughed lightly.

"Since when did you get so good at giving sage-like wisdom?" Logan asked.

"I have no idea what that even is," Carlos answered, causing both of them to laugh.

"I have to go find James and apologize to him."

Carlos didn't want to be left alone, but he was on Team Jagan. Whatever happened between James and Logan, Carlos had no doubt in his mind that they could work things out together. They just had to.

XXXXX

Logan had scoured the hospital in search of James. He wasn't in any waiting room. He wasn't in the cafeteria. Logan was starting to become worried. Where could James be? What if something was wrong with him and he was all alone?

Logan had an idea to check the last place he saw James, the bathroom. He was hopeful that he would find James there. Maybe he never left. Logan opened the bathroom door, and saw James sprawled out on the floor as still as can be.

"James!" Logan shouted, instantly going to James' side.

Logan shook James, but his eyes remained closed. Logan put his ear to James' chest. He had a heartbeat, but it wasn't as strong as Logan would have liked. Logan knew that James needed medical attention, but there was no time for him to go and get a nurse or doctor. There was no telling how long James had been unconscious.

Logan did the only thing he could think of, and started to give James CPR. He started with chest compressions. Tears fell from his eyes unchecked as he avidly watched James' face for any movement, any sign of life.

It killed Logan to know that James' last memory of Logan was him saying they were over. That couldn't be James' last memory of him! It wouldn't be James' last memory of him! Logan would do whatever it took to bring James back.

He opened James' mouth, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He then started giving James mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Logan had to resist the urge to kiss James. He had to stay focused on getting James conscious again. There was a slight grin on Logan's face as he thought about how if James knew what was going on, he'd be enjoying this right now.

James started coughing and sputtering. Logan's eyes lit up with pure, unadulterated joy. He helped James sit up before throwing his arms around him in an enthusiastic embrace.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Logan said as happy tears fell from his eyes.

It didn't take Logan long to know that something was wrong though. James wasn't hugging him back.

"Are you now?" James shot back.

"Of course I am! I'm so sorry for not believing you! I was an idiot," Logan said.

"Yes, you were!"

Logan let go of James, and scooted backwards, putting some space between the two of them.

"Will you take me back?" Logan asked, hopefully.

"Not this time," James answered.

Logan felt like someone had just impaled his heart with a dagger. He clutched at his chest painfully. Tears of sadness replaced the tears of joy that had been falling from his eyes. Logan blinked rapidly at James in disbelief.

"A relationship is nothing without trust, Logan, and you've made it painfully clear to me that you don't trust me…" James started to explain.

"But I _do_ trust you!" Logan countered.

"Don't interrupt me!"

Logan fell silent. This wasn't going at all like he had planned. He couldn't believe that James was yelling at him like he was.

"I think it's better if we stay broken up. You're way too clingy and needy. If I can't be there for a friend who got beaten up so badly that he had to be admitted into a hospital without you getting jealous, then I don't _want_ to be with you," James stated.

"But I saved your life!" Logan interjected.

"And I appreciate it. Really, I do, but it changes nothing between us, Logan."

James scooted over to Logan, and pulled him in for a hug, but Logan could tell that it was only the kind of hug a friend would give to another friend.

"I care about you, Logan. I always will…just not that way anymore," James said.

Logan fiercely shook his head. He could taste the saltiness of his tears as some of them made their way into his mouth.

"What can I do to make this up to you?" Logan asked.

"You can't do anything, Logan. I'm going to find a doctor so they can examine me to make sure nothing's wrong," James said as he rose to his feet and left the bathroom.

Logan heard his cell's ringtone. He pulled it out of his pocket, and answered it.

"Hello?" Logan said.

"Logan, this is Dr. Summers. Your test results are in. You're a match," she informed him.

To Be Continued…


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Carlos wasn't surprised when James showed up to visit him. However, he was surprised when James showed up to visit him _alone_. Hadn't Logan gone looking for James? Did he just not find him yet or had they already talked?

"Where's Logan? He was looking for you," Carlos said.

"Yeah, he found me," James replied.

"And?"

"We're no longer together."

Carlos frowned. He had been so hopeful too. He was curious to what happened. What went wrong? Was it something James did? Was it something Logan did? Was it something both of them did?

"Why would you break up with him?" Carlos asked.

"Because," James said before stopping to think. "I can't be with someone who doesn't completely trust me. He broke up with me first, and no one breaks up with James Diamond. If anything, James Diamond does the dumping. Lastly, and most importantly, if I push Logan away, maybe he'll forget about donating his liver to me if he's a match."

Carlos felt a bit uneasy when James was talking about Logan donating his liver potentially. Carlos still hadn't told James that he got tested as well. He's glad he didn't. If James was pushing Logan away because he got tested, then why would James do any differently to Carlos?

"So you think by pushing Logan away you're protecting him?" Carlos asked while maintaining a poker face.

"Exactly," James responded.

"Well, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Oh, and news flash, James, the only one who cares about your perfect-never-been-dumped record is you! That's a lame reason to break up with someone you love! As for the trust thing, you got a girl pregnant, James! Not only that, but you kissed Camille _twice_ while she and Logan were dating! Logan has every reason not to trust you because you aren't as trustworthy as you think you are in that inflated head of yours!"

"Okay first of all, why does everyone keep throwing the Camille thing back in my face? Second of all, I thought you were on my side?"

"Not when you're hurting Logan!"

James broke eye contact with Carlos. He felt incredibly betrayed by him. The two of them always used to be close too. Heck, they were practically inseparable. James wasn't really surprised by how blunt Carlos was being; he lacked a brain-mouth filter after all.

XXXXX

Logan was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that his blood type was a match. He should be celebrating the great news right now, but he didn't feel much like celebrating. Truth be told, he wasn't even sure what he should do.

Before James refused to take him back, James was strongly opposed to Logan donating his liver. He didn't want to risk losing him. Now that they were no longer together though, would James change his mind? Logan couldn't help but think that now James would _want_ Logan to donate his liver, and if he died during surgery, it wouldn't bother James any.

Logan fought back his tears. He hated how much of a baby he was. He hated how much crying he had done in the last twenty-four hours or so. He hated that James was the reason for most of those tears. He didn't want to give James the satisfaction of making him cry again.

Logan was hopeful though; James had told him that he still cared about him even though he was breaking up with him. So maybe James would still not want Logan to donate his liver. Maybe as tiny as the risk was, James didn't want to chance Logan dying during surgery.

There was still the issue of whether or not he should go to James with the news that he is a blood match. The cynical side of Logan was screaming at him to not even bother. Turnabout is fair play. If James wants to keep things from Logan, then Logan will keep things from James too.

However, the moral side of Logan felt like two wrongs don't make a right. James had every right to know that Logan was a match. He gave James such a hard time for keeping a secret from him. Logan therefore shouldn't keep anything from James. Practice what he preaches and all that. Besides, it was in Logan's nature to do all that he could to save people. If there was even the slimmest chance of Logan being able to save James, then he would do it.

Needless to say, Logan felt very conflicted. The decisions he made right here right now could have very significant consequences. Naturally, Logan carefully weighed his options. Rarely did he ever jump right into things, and this was no exception. Logan had made up his mind though. He knew what he was going to do.

XXXXX

Kendall missed his best friends; all of them. Logan was mad at him. Carlos was mad at him. James and Kendall couldn't stand one another. When did this all happen? Kendall missed the days when they would spend so much time with one another that they got sick of each other. Now, they didn't do much of anything together anymore.

Not only did Kendall _want_ to repair at least one of his broken friendships, but he _needed_ to. He just wasn't sure which would be less of a lost cause.

The main reason he was fighting with James was because he thought that James was all wrong for Logan. Kendall was fiercely protective of his friends, especially Carlos and Logan, Logan in particular. The more Kendall thought about it though, the more he realized that he didn't have a problem with James as a person; he just had a problem with James as a _boyfriend_. However, Logan's words echoed in his ears. It doesn't matter if Kendall _does_ have a problem with James. Logan never said anything bad about Jo. Kendall should just be happy for James and Logan.

Honestly, Kendall wasn't really sure why he was fighting with Carlos. He didn't remember what had started the tension between them. Then, it dawned on him. Kendall had told Carlos that he rather James die in surgery than risk dying himself. He remembered Carlos saying that he hoped Kendall was a match and that he died in surgery. Even though Carlos probably didn't really mean that he wished Kendall was dead, it still hurt.

By far, the most complicated issue was Logan. It was obvious why they were fighting. Kendall didn't approve of Logan's relationship with James. He had done everything in his power to break James and Logan up. He told Logan news that was never his to tell in the first place. Kendall kept telling himself that he wasn't jealous of James, but was that really the truth? While it sucked that Kendall was fighting with James and Carlos, it was the fact that he was fighting with Logan that really killed him. Why was that so?

Kendall wanted to mend fences with his friends, and he knew exactly which fence he wanted to mend first.

XXXXX

All four of them converged in Carlos' hospital room. It was the first time in a long time that all four of them were at the same place at the same time. Strangely enough though, it very much seemed like it was their first time altogether. No one quite knew what to say or do. They weren't even sure if they should make eye contact with one another out of fear of what they might see.

"James, I got my test results back. I'm a match," Logan said, breaking the silence.

James felt mixed emotions about this piece of news. On the one hand, he felt incredibly relieved that he could be saved; that he might not die after all. On the other hand, there was still a chance that Logan could die from the procedure, and James didn't want to risk it. James didn't want anyone to die in his place.

"I'm still waiting for my test results," Carlos said, figuring now was as good of a time as any to tell them that he got tested.

Three shocked faces looked at Carlos. They really shouldn't have expected any less from Carlos. They all had so many questions though. When did Carlos get tested? How had he managed to keep it secret all this time? Carlos was horrible at keeping secrets.

James felt sick to his stomach. It was bad enough that Logan was willing to risk his life to save his, but now Carlos too? What, did their own lives mean so little to them that they were perfectly content throwing them away? Seeing firsthand the lengths both Carlos and Logan would go to in order to save him, made James really feel like a horrible person.

Kendall felt a twinge of guilt. From the way things looked, he was the only one who had yet to be tested. Knowing that Logan and Carlos got tested kind of put pressure on him to get tested as well. However, their relationship with James was a lot different than Kendall's relationship with James. Kendall wasn't at a point where he was willing to risk his life in order to save James' life. Not yet at least.

Logan was horrified by this new development. He had reassured James that there was a really slim chance that the donor would die in surgery, but Logan couldn't stomach the thought of Carlos dying in surgery. What if Carlos was a match? James would have to choose between the two of them. Logan had a good idea who James would pick as the donor, and that's why Logan wasn't very happy that Carlos got tested in the first place. He had no problem risking his own life, but he didn't like to see Carlos risk his.

"This can't be happening," James commented, his face drained of color.

Carlos walked over to James, and placed a hand on his shoulder. The gesture felt really awkward to him given how they had just butted heads not too long ago. Carlos was relieved when James allowed him the physical contact.

"If it turns out I'm a match, I want you to pick me as the donor. That way, you and Logan can still be together no matter what happens in surgery," Carlos said.

"Carlos, no," Logan said barely loud enough for Carlos to even hear him.

James felt like he could put his fist through a wall right now. He was incredibly frustrated. How could Logan and Carlos be so selfless after everything? James didn't feel like he deserved their friendship. He felt like he was an executioner or something. Their lives were in his incapable hands. James shook his head vigorously.

"No! I don't want either one of you to be the donor! I can't risk something happening to either of you!" James exclaimed.

Logan let out a gasp. He was pretty sure James just admitted to still caring about him. Maybe all hope wasn't lost then. Maybe he and James could still work things out.

"So let me get this straight," Carlos said. "You would rather have some stranger risk his or her life to save you than us?"

"Schbingo," James replied.

"James, it's not as simple as that though. I'm a match, and if," Logan said, hesitating. "Carlos is a match too, then that's a sure thing. Keep in mind your position on the organ donor list; time is of the essence, and you might not even get a liver from a donor."

Everyone noticed how Logan carefully weaved his way around saying that James might not live long enough to get a liver from a donor on the donor list.

"I don't care! It's a chance _I'm_ willing to take!" James retorted.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room except for Kendall. However, all this talk about donating livers reminded Kendall of something. If he were to get tested, and he was a match, there was no question in his mind that James would choose him as the donor. Unlike Carlos and Logan, James could care less what happened to Kendall. Like Logan said, it's a sure thing unlike taking a gamble on the donor waiting list.

"This is _my _disease! _Mine_! If anyone dies, it's going to be _me_!" James yelled.

"But James, it doesn't have to be that way. I think I speak for Carlos too when I say that we _want_ to help you. All you have to do is let us," Logan responded.

Carlos nodded his head in agreement.

"I want to help too. I'm going to get tested," Kendall said, surprising everyone including himself.

Nobody was more shocked than James. He thought Kendall couldn't stand him, yet he was willing to risk his life to save him. Why would he do that? Unless Kendall really did care about James. Even though it was a small step towards healing their broken friendship, James knew it was a step in the right direction.

"I hate watching helpless from the sidelines. I much rather have some control. If _I'm_ a match, I want you to pick me as the donor, James. I'm not stupid. I know Logan and Carlos mean more to you than I do. That way, if something does go wrong in surgery, it will hurt less for you to lose me," Kendall said.

James headed straight for Kendall.

"Stop it, Kendall. That's not true. I care a great deal about all three of you. I hate that you even think otherwise. I know we've had our differences as of late, but the fact that you would even want to get tested says everything," James said, smiling at Kendall. "But if you are a match, I don't want you to be the donor either. I'm not going to lose any of my friends if I can help it."

Words couldn't even begin to describe how good Kendall felt to hear James refer to him as his friend. Personally, Kendall didn't feel worthy of that title; not after the way he's been treating James. Kendall was starting to realize that he got a bit carried away. Maybe he needed to pull back. His family and friends meant the world to him.

For the first time in a long time, the boys were starting to find their way back to one another. Instead of being four individuals, they were well on their way to becoming the unit that they once were.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: People better not say anything about this being a cliffhanger because it's not! I swear, people! Geez! **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Okay, how did this end up with more chapters than In the Beginning so far? I remember back when they were dead even. Oh, and I'm back on Tumblr again for those of you on Tumblr. My username is fridayfishstickfriday. I wasn't sure if fishstickfriday was taken or not, and honestly, I was too lazy to check. Um…oh yeah, and I have a co-worker named Kendall. He's a cashier like me. He looks nothing like BTR's Kendall though. But still. It's funny…to me…**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I'm just a Rusher like you lot. **

**Big Time Sick**

Carlos was out of the hospital. Everyone was right where they were supposed to be; at home. After Carlos and Logan both fell victim to Ozzy, the boys adapted a buddy system. Either Kendall or James was always supposed to be with Carlos or Logan at all times during school. It seemed to be working so far too.

It was a Friday night. Carlos and Kendall were engaged in an intense game of dome hockey as per their Fish Stick Friday routine. James was playing one of their favorite video games, but he paused the game and set the controller on the coffee table. It wasn't really fun playing video games by himself. Besides, he kind of wanted to go out tonight.

"I'm going to see what Logan's up to," James announced.

He wasn't even sure _why_ he announced it. He could have went to Logan's room without drawing attention to the fact that was what he was doing. Oh well. It was too late now. James did wonder what Logan was doing though. He made the trek to Logan's bedroom. He placed the palm of his hand on the doorframe as he leaned against it.

"Whatcha doin?" James asked.

"Homework," Logan answered, not even bothering to look up from the textbook he was reading.

James frowned. He saw sheets of notebook paper strewn all over Logan's bed, but in an orderly fashion. Logan was tapping the eraser end of a pencil against his textbook in syncopated beats.

"Logie, it's Friday! You have all weekend to do homework!" James whined.

"Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?" Logan replied.

James rolled his eyes. However, he did notice Logan looked up from his textbook to flash him a grin before resuming reading the textbook before him.

"Wanna go to the movies?" James asked.

That got Logan's attention. He looked over at James with an expression that left James hopeful. It seemed as though Logan was actually considering taking James up on his offer of going to the movies.

"I'll go get Carlos and Kendall," Logan said, carefully dog-earing the page he had been reading before closing his textbook.

"What if you didn't tell Carlos and Kendall?" James replied.

"Then they wouldn't be able to go to the movies with us."

"Well, what if they didn't go to the movies with us?"

"Then they wouldn't be able to see the movie."

James banged his head on the doorframe. Logan tilted his head to the side and knitted his eyebrows in confusion. How could someone as smart as Logan be so clueless sometimes?

"I'm trying to ask you out on a date here!" James said, frustrated.

"Oh," came Logan's reply.

James noticed how Logan quickly averted his gaze. He also saw how Logan's cheeks flushed crimson. Logan's skin was so pale that even the slightest bit of color was that much more pronounced. Logan bashfully rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, don't leave me hanging! Will you go out with me, Logan Mitchell?" James asked.

Logan playfully shoved James, not enough to make him fall though.

"Why are you being so formal? You're making me blush," Logan replied.

James laughed light-heartedly. "You still didn't answer the question."

Logan rubbed his chin as he turned his head to the ceiling. He appeared to be deep in thought, but James knew better; he knew Logan was just messing with him. He was just making James wait even longer for his answer. The way Logan's eyes crinkled up kind of was a dead give away.

"You already know what I'm going to say, so why are you making me say it?" Logan questioned.

"Because I want to hear you say it," James responded.

"It."

"Haha, very funny, Logie!"

Logan gave a regal bow. It was James' turn to playfully shove Logan. The shorter boy smirked at James. The taller boy wasn't mad at Logan. He was just slightly annoyed by his antics.

"Well?" James asked.

"Well what?" Logan replied.

"Do you want to go out with me or not?"

"Let's do this!"

XXXXX

"Hawk, the editor-in-chief of Pop Tiger is here to see you," Rebecca announced.

Hawk resisted the urge to caw right about now. Heck, this momentous occasion might even call for a double caw. According to one source, two members of Big Time Rush were gay. They hadn't officially come out of the closet yet. Doing so would be like committing career suicide.

"Good evening, Hawk. You said on the phone that you have a story for me?" the editor-in-chief asked.

"Yes, I do. Have you heard of a band called Big Time Rush?" Hawk asked.

"Yeah. They're an up-and-coming band under Rocque Records, correct?"

Rebecca took note of how Hawk scowled at the mere mentioning of his nemesis' name. She may only be Hawk's assistant, but it was plain to see how much her boss hated both Big Time Rush and Gustavo Rocque.

"Well James Diamond and Logan Mitchell are gay. Not only that, but they have a thing for each other," Hawk said, getting straight to the point.

"Are you sure?" the editor-in-chief asked.

"Yes, and I want you to write a cover story about this, and put it in your next issue."

"I'm afraid I'm going to need more solid proof than just some anonymous source's word."

Hawk snapped his fingers. Rebecca placed a briefcase on Hawk's desk. He undid the latches, and opened the briefcase, revealing its contents: one million dollars.

"So, do we have a deal?" Hawk inquired.

XXXXX

Carlos and Kendall looked up from their dome hockey game to see James and Logan walk into the living room hand-in-hand. Carlos made an 'Aww' sound. Logan blushed fiercely, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. James' cheeks flushed scarlet as well.

"Logan and I are going to the movies," James informed them.

Carlos' head perked up. "Awesome! Can I come too?"

Logan and James both exchanged a knowing look with one another. James nudged Logan forward. Logan retaliated by grabbing James' arm, and pulling him forward so that he was in front of him. James nudged Logan with his elbow, who immediately returned the favor.

Kendall and Carlos both traded confused looks with each other, their eyebrows arched.

"Sorry buddy, but James and I are going on a date," Logan said while James grinned victoriously.

"Yeah, I know. A movie date. I want to go too," Carlos responded.

Logan and James both slapped their foreheads simultaneously. Carlos tilted his head to the side, perplexed by his friends' behavior. Kendall chuckled to himself while rolling his eyes at Carlos.

"No, Carlos. I don't think you understand; Logan and I are going to the movies as a _couple_!" James explained.

"And me makes a trio!" Carlos said happily.

James nudged Logan with his elbow, a smile tugging on his lips.

"Carlos must have rubbed off on you," James commented.

"Hey! I was not that clueless!" Logan replied indignantly.

"Not cool! I'm standing right here!" Carlos exclaimed, folding his arms over his chest and pouting.

"Oh, so you admit that you _were_ clueless?" James remarked.

"I did no such thing!" Logan retorted.

"If by that you mean that you did!"

Logan scowled at James.

"Wow! What a comeback!" James commented sarcastically. "A scowl."

Kendall was having a hard time _not_ being amused by James and Logan's pointless bickering. Meanwhile, Carlos was too busy pouting to pay much attention to what James and Logan were saying much less find the humor in it.

"Carlos, how about you go pick out a movie that you and I can watch together?" Kendall suggested.

"Okay!" Carlos said brightly, dashing over to the movie rack on the floor by the television.

James and Logan mouthed 'Thank you' to Kendall as they quietly slipped out the door.

XXXXX

Logan was surprised by how much physical contact James was permitting. They had held hands during the whole ride to the movie theatre. Even before that, they had held hands as they left The Palm Woods. Even now, they were holding hands. Logan couldn't ignore the looks he was getting from strangers. James tightened his grip on Logan's hand letting him know that everything was going to be okay.

"So what movie do you want to watch?" James asked. "You have two choices: _Scream 23 _or _The Unicorn Princess 2: The Unicorn Princess and the Double Rainbow_."

Logan snickered at the movie titles. James smiled slightly too, relieved to see Logan more at ease and laughing again. If James knew Logan, he would make some sarcastic remark about the movie titles any second now.

"_Scream 23_? Really? I never thought it was possible that a movie franchise could beat _Land Before Time_ for having the most annoying amount of sequels," Logan said sarcastically.

James chewed on his lip to keep himself from bursting out laughing. That would probably look weird with so many people around him in the theatre. Not that James particularly cared what people thought of him. Maybe he used to be like that, but it was funny. Being with Logan, changed that. It was almost like James was a better person when he was with Logan.

James had a pretty good idea which movie Logan would rather see. After all, Logan was 'so scared of everything.' Granted, the _Scream _movies weren't your typical horror movies. They were more of a horror parody. Of course Logan wasn't aware of that. He just saw the spooky looking movie poster hanging on the wall in the movie theatre.

"Well, surprisingly, the first _Unicorn Princess _movie was actually _really_ good, so…" Logan trailed off.

"You've got to be kidding me!" James replied incredulously.

Logan chuckled nervously, lowering his head in shame. James thought that was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen up close and personal. Then again, James found the majority of the things Logan did adorable. Heck, Logan was adorable even when he wasn't trying to be!

"Hey! You asked me which movie I wanted to see!" Logan pointed out.

"Yeah because I thought I was talking to someone who wasn't four years old!" James countered.

"I'm four and a half, thank you very much!"

James playfully shoved Logan, and it wasn't long before the two were engaged in a harmless shoving fight. Both boys were laughing the whole time, and their laughs only grew louder as the shoving continued even longer.

XXXXX

Logan wasn't sure what to think when James bolted out of his chair during the movie, running out of the theatre like he was running a hundred yard dash. Logan quickly followed James. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with James.

Logan found James sitting on the floor in the men's restroom with his back pressed up against the wall. His hand was loosely covering his lower back. James' face was contorted in pain. James gritted his teeth together in an attempt to not cry out in pain.

"James, what's wrong?" Logan asked, kneeling down beside him.

"My back," James responded.

Logan lifted up James' shirt, and was alarmed to find a bulge in James' lower back. It was about the diameter of a soda can. If Logan didn't know about James' liver condition, he would have thought it was a tumor.

"How long has it looked like that?" Logan asked, trying to keep his voice calm despite the panic he felt bubbling inside of him.

James shrugged his shoulders, hissing in agony as the movement caused his back even more unbearable torture.

Logan whipped out his cell phone, and was already dialing.

"I'm calling for an ambulance. We need to get you to a hospital," Logan said.

James placed his hand on top of Logan's, and shook his head.

"No. It'll pass. It always does. I'll just…wait it out," James said in a pained whisper.

James patted the floor beside him, and Logan didn't need to be told twice. He scooted next to James, snuggling against him. James held Logan's head to his chest, bending down, and sniffing Logan's hair. Logan sat up, and looked at James with a bewildered expression on his face.

"Did you just…sniff my hair?" Logan asked.

"What? No! I just hissed in pain, and you must have thought that was a sniff," James answered, rather proud of himself for coming up with that on such short notice. He hissed in pain afterwards for good measure.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: I had another draft of this chapter, but I scrapped most of it because two of the main characters (who shall remain nameless) were kind of jerks, and I didn't want them to fight so soon after having just made up. I hope you liked this draft better though you have nothing to compare it to. Hehe. **


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: When I first came up with the idea for this story, I thought it would wrap up by Chapter 24. Well, there's no way that's happening. As I told one reviewer, it might end up being as long as Big Time Disaster was. Though I am concerned because some people thought that Big Time Disaster was too much. **

**Disclaimer: You can keep asking, but I'll just keep telling you that I own absolutely nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

James had noticed that his condition was getting worse. His symptoms grew closer together and became more and more debilitating. He just hoped that no one else noticed this as well. James had done everything in his power to keep the others in the dark about how he was feeling; especially Logan. He had to be extra careful around Logan _because_ of Logan's vast medical knowledge.

At the same time, a part of James, hated that he was essentially lying to Logan. He only did it because he didn't want Logan to worry about him more than was necessary. As James was seated on the toilet seat struggling to have a bowel movement, he was surprised by exactly how much it hurt just for him to go to the bathroom. When did this start?

He thought about going to Logan for help. James didn't really know where else to turn. He just knew that Logan would probably overreact and blow things out of proportion like he had a tendency of doing. After all, Logan was the worry wart of the group.

"Logan, can you come in here real quick?" James shouted.

Within a matter of seconds, Logan poked his head in the bathroom, having opened the bathroom door a crack. When he saw James on the toilet, he immediately retracted his head. James had failed to mention that part.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked from the other side of the door.

"It hurts to go to the bathroom," James answered, wincing in pain.

"I'll go get you some stool softener. I'll be right back."

Logan closed the bathroom door. He saw Katie at the end of the hallway, the latest issue of Pop Tiger magazine in her hands. She gave Logan a sympathetic look that he didn't quite understand.

"You're not going to like this," Katie commented.

Logan walked up to Katie. He was still trying to figure out what her deal was.

"What is it?" Logan asked.

Rather than verbally answer Logan, Katie handed him the magazine. Front and center on the cover page was a picture of James and Logan. The headline read: "Two BTR hotties come out of the closet."

Logan dropped the magazine like it had scorched his hand or something. He could feel bile slowly creep its way up his esophagus. His knees felt unsteady under him, and his breathing became labored and erratic. His heart raced. How did this happen?

XXXXX

Griffin marched straight into Gustavo's office. He slammed the latest edition of Pop Tiger on Gustavo's desk, startling both Gustavo and Kelly from the sheer force he had used.

"What is the meaning of this?" Griffin demanded.

Gustavo picked up the magazine. Kelly read the headline from over Gustavo's shoulder. Their reactions couldn't be any more different. Kelly let out an 'Aww.' Meanwhile, Gustavo looked to be thoroughly repulsed.

"Griffin, I assure you that Kelly and I had no idea about any of this," Gustavo said nervously.

"Well, I want you to fix it! RCM CBT Globalnet Sanyoid has a reputation to protect," Griffin said sternly, before he left Gustavo's office.

Gustavo pounded his fist on the desk. He was starting to turn red in the face. He was so close to being back on top. He wasn't going to go back to being a has-been record producer. Whatever was going on between James and Logan, Gustavo had already made up his mind; it had to stop.

"Kelly, call the dogs, and tell them to get their butts over here _now_!" Gustavo ordered.

Kelly reluctantly did as she was told even though she didn't like it one bit. What choice did she have though? She was Gustavo's assistant! If she didn't do as he said, he'd fire her and find someone else to be his assistant.

"Kendall, hi. It's Kelly. You guys need to come over to Rocque Records right away," Kelly said.

XXXXX

Big Time Rush was standing before a very irate looking Gustavo. Logan lowered his head from the record producer's withering gaze directed at him and James. It suddenly became all too clear to Logan why they were brought here.

"You two have some explaining to do!" Gustavo roared, flinging the magazine at James.

James looked at the magazine cover for the first time. He had a horrified expression on his face. The picture on the cover had been from when he and Logan went out on their movie date. They were clearly holding hands in the photo.

"I want you to make a public statement denying the rumor," Gustavo stated.

"But it _isn't_ a rumor! Right, James?" Logan asked, turning to James for help.

James felt like this was an out-of-body experience for him it was so surreal. He realized that people would see him and Logan together when they went to the movies. James just never took into account the devastating effects it could have on their music career; _his_ lifelong dream.

Kendall and Carlos also turned their heads toward James, eagerly waiting his response. The more time that passed in silence, the more they started to wonder what James was going to say. It was so quiet in the room that you could hear a pin drop.

"Okay. If that's what you want us to do, we'll do it," James said in an almost monotone voice.

"James!" Logan cried out in protest.

Kendall should have known that it was too good to be true. It was a shame. All four of them had been getting along just fine too. Sadly, Kendall wasn't the least bit surprised by James' actions. In Kendall's mind, it just showed what James' priorities were, and unfortunately for Logan, he wasn't James' top priority.

"Logan, the first rule of being a pop star is to make yourself _appear_ available even if _you're not_," James said emphasizing the last two words.

"Why are you so ashamed to be seen with me? What? Are you ashamed of me? Is that it?" Logan questioned.

"Of course not! I went on a movie date with you! Would I do that if I were ashamed to be seen with you?"

"Exactly! _You_ went on a movie date with _me_! You didn't care if people saw us together then, but now all of a sudden I'm supposed to believe that you do?"

Carlos immediately positioned himself in between James and Logan, his arms fully extended.

"Come on, guys! Let's not fight! Let's think happy thoughts about kittens!" Carlos suggested, not wanting his friends to fight.

"Logan, my dreams are so close to coming true! This could be my only shot! I'm not going to throw that away for…" James started to reason.

"For me, right? You're not going to throw your dreams away for me. That's what you were going to say. Isn't it?" Logan replied, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Kendall started to make a beeline for James, his fists raised, but Logan threw an arm out in front of him, shaking his head. Kendall begrudgingly held his ground.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. I threw my dream of being a doctor away for _you_, but your career is more important to you than I am? I thought you loved me! Or was that just a lie too?" Logan asked, his voice eerily calm given the circumstances.

Kendall knew better though. Even Carlos knew better. They both knew that Logan loved James. They both saw how happy James made Logan; happier than _anyone _else had ever made Logan before, even Camille. Logan was just trying to compensate for his sensitivity by trying to seem strong.

"Logan, we can still be together! Just…not in public," James said.

"So when we're in public, I'm just supposed to _lie_? I can't do that, James! If we're going to do this, if we're going to be together, then we're going to be together whether we're in public or not," Logan responded.

James didn't understand why it had to be one or the other with Logan. Why couldn't he just meet him halfway on this one? Why wasn't he willing to compromise? He didn't want to lose Logan, but he didn't want his dreams to be crushed even more.

"Then, I think it's best if we just stay friends," James commented.

"Friends? You expect me to be _friends_ with you after all of this? I was going to give you my liver, James! I was willing to _die_ for you! How big of an idiot does that make me?" Logan remarked bitterly.

James thought Logan was overreacting. Their breakup was hardly amicable, but that didn't mean they had to throw away eleven years of friendship too! If Logan was so quick to throw their friendship away like that, then maybe he wasn't the kind of person he wanted to have as a friend in the first place.

"So does that mean you're not going to give me your liver anymore?" James asked.

Logan was livid. He was through with trying to figure James out. He thought James didn't want him to donate his liver in the first place. Now all of a sudden he does? Logan balled his hands up in fists, and pushed Carlos out of the way before decking James in the jaw.

"You selfish ass!" Logan shouted, tears of fury mixing with tears of anguish.

James propped himself up on his elbows on the floor. He stared up at Logan with an expression on his face that was too difficult for anyone to read.

"Guys, stop it!" Carlos pleaded, standing between Logan and James once more.

Logan then rounded on Gustavo. Kelly stepped off to the side not wanting to be anywhere near Gustavo for this one. She had never seen Logan so upset before. He was scary angry. As far as she was concerned, he had every right to be.

"And you! You're no better than him!" Logan yelled, gesturing towards a prone James. "All you care about is your career! To Hell with everything else, right? What you fail to realize is that without your 'dogs,' you wouldn't have a career in the first place!" Logan screamed, getting right in Gustavo's face despite the fact that Gustavo was bigger than him.

Kendall was shocked by Logan's outburst, but at the same time, he was also impressed. Usually, people walked all over Logan because they knew they could get away with it. What would he do about it? Kendall was glad that Logan was standing up for himself for a change.

"Is your little temper tantrum supposed to _sway _me? Do you know who I am?" Gustavo replied, refusing to be intimidated by one of his 'dogs.'

Carlos grabbed Logan's wrist out of desperation.

"Logan, please stop!" Carlos begged.

"As a matter of fact, I don't! And you want to know why? Because you're no longer relevant! You haven't been for nearly a decade! All you are is some has-been record producer that rides the coattails of people who have more talent than him!" Logan hollered.

Kendall, James, Carlos, and Kelly had to pick their jaws up off the floor. Sure they have all thought the same thing at one point in time or another, but no one ever had the gumption to actually say it to Gustavo's face.

"And you know what you are?" Gustavo shouted, jabbing Logan hard in the chest with his finger. "You're _fired_! Now get off the premises before I have security throw you out!"

Kendall, James, and Carlos felt like this was some horrible nightmare that they would wake up from at any time. After being a band for well over a year, they couldn't imagine Big Time Rush without Logan. They were a four-member band. Big Time Rush was about _four_ hockey players from Minnesota.

"Relax, Freight Train. I'm going," Logan said as the mammoth bodyguard started to approach him.

Freight Train mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' to Logan, and it didn't go unnoticed by the teenager as he made his way out of Rocque Records for what could be the last time.

"Anyone else have anything they want to say to me?" Gustavo challenged, his voice booming.

Kendall, James, and Carlos fell silent. However, Kendall was glaring daggers at James. Carlos' eyes were prickling with tears, and James felt responsible for Logan getting kicked out of the band.

"Now James, about that rumor…" Gustavo said.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: I have no idea why but this is so much easier to write updates for than In the Beginning.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I am not making a profit by writing this.**

**Big Time Sick**

James and James alone was making a public statement in front of a couple dozen reporters. Questions were spewing, cameras were flashing, and James couldn't feel more overwhelmed.

"One at a time!" James exclaimed.

"James, is it true that you and Logan are dating?" a female reporter asked.

James swallowed a lump in his throat. The stupid reporter just _had _to remind him of Logan. It was only a couple of hours ago that everything had gone so horribly wrong. He and Logan had broken up again, and Logan had been kicked out of the band; something James still felt responsible for.

"No. We're both single," James answered, choosing _not _to answer that they were still friends because after what happened, Logan made it crystal clear that he had no desire to be friends with James.

"Then what about the photo on the cover of Pop Tiger?" a male reporter asked.

James got a glimpse of the accursed thing as it was practically shoved in his face by the over-ambitious reporter. It was just a painful reminder of a happier time.

"What about it?" James responded.

"Clearly, you and Logan are holding hands," the reporter answered.

"So what? Logan and I aren't shy about physical contact. It doesn't mean we're dating!"

"So you admit there's a you and Logan?"

"No. There's a me, and there's a Logan. There's no me and Logan."

There was quite a commotion as all order was lost. Reporters kept spouting out questions. James couldn't make sense of any of them as the reporters were all talking at the same time and trying to talk over one another. However, he heard one question over all others.

"Is it true that Logan is no longer a member of Big Time Rush?" a female reporter asked.

James' words seemed to be stuck in his throat. His eyes roamed over the sea of reporters. The multitude of camera flashes was nearly enough to blind him. James felt a tightening in his chest. Of all the questions James knew he would be asked, this is the one he hoped against hope _wouldn't_ be asked. James knew that Logan would probably see this public statement if he wasn't watching it right now. The other reporters fell silent. Now all of them forgot about their individual questions. Instead, they wanted to know the answer to this one.

"It's true. I have no further comments," James said, shielding his face with his hands as he hurriedly walked away from the media.

XXXXX

Logan flipped off the television after having watched James' public statement. It was kind of hard _not_ to watch it because it interrupted regular programming on all basic cable channels. Logan's hands shook as he squeezed the remote tightly in the palm of his hand.

Logan had made up his mind. He wasn't going to cry over this. He wouldn't give James the satisfaction. Logan didn't know what he was going to do now. He still had to live with James. He still had to go to school with James. He still had to see James.

Logan felt very conflicted. A part of him felt like he should have just kept his mouth shut. However, the majority of him felt kind of…_liberated_. He had no more ties to Gustavo, Griffin, or the record company. Logan was sure that his being fired was no huge loss to them. Gustavo, Griffin, and the record company had always viewed Logan as the weakest link anyways.

"Logie, are you…_okay_?" Carlos asked timidly.

Logan cringed by how frightened Carlos seemed of him. He had no reason to fear him. Logan was angry at a lot of people right now, but Carlos _wasn't_ one of them. He sighed before spinning around on his heels to face a worried Carlos.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Logan replied, motioning with his hands to the television monitor. "James just pretended like he and I never happened. Not only that, but he did it _publicly_ too for the whole world to see."

"Logan, I'm sorry," Kendall said.

Logan scoffed.

"No, you're not, but whatever. I'm going to bed. I don't want to be awake when James gets back," Logan stated before roughly brushing past Kendall and tossing the remote aside.

Carlos and Kendall traded extremely concerned looks with one another. In all the time they've known Logan, they have _never _seen him so unhinged before. Logan stopped in his tracks at the beginning of the hallway.

"Be careful, you two. Don't think for one second that James won't betray the two of you if the opportunity presents itself. I stupidly thought that once upon a time, and well, look what happened," Logan said, before continuing his trek to his bedroom.

"What do we do?" Carlos asked once Logan was out of earshot.

"I don't know, Carlos. I don't think we _can _fix this one this time," Kendall answered.

XXXXX

It didn't take James long to notice that he had become public enemy number one overnight at The Palm Woods. People would shoot him dirty looks or say unsavory things to him under their breath, but _just _loud enough for James to still hear them.

Even in class, no one wanted to sit next to James; not even any of James' friends. One thing was painfully obvious to James; he no longer had any friends. Kendall sat on one side of Logan while Carlos sat on the other side. Neither Kendall nor Carlos sat near James though.

James remembered coming home last night only to find Logan sleeping, and Kendall standing guard at the door to their bedroom. Kendall wouldn't let James in to talk to or even see Logan. He said something about James already having done enough.

James had his eye on the prize, but he started to wonder if it was worth it. Yeah, he still had a career in the music industry, but it came at the expense of his best friends. It came at the expense of Logan. A solitary tear trickled down James' cheek as he longed for things to go back to the way they were.

While James was being treated like public enemy number one, everyone seemed to cater to Logan. They would give him sympathetic looks. They would give him words of condolence. They would offer to do anything for him. It was clear whose side everyone had taken.

News of what happened had spread like wildfire. It even reached as far as Minnesota. The widely shared belief was that James got Logan kicked out of Big Time Rush. No one questioned it; they just accepted it as the truth. James had received two lengthy voicemails, one from each of his parents, where they told James how disappointed in him they were. They asked him how James could do that to Logan of all people. They told him that they were ashamed to be his parents. They told him that this wasn't how they had raised James.

It was a toss-up what hurt more: James' back or his heart. His back always had at the very least a dull pain. Sometimes, it would flare up though, bringing tears to James' eyes the pain was so excruciating. Luckily, James was usually alone or made himself alone when that happened. As for his heart, James felt like it had been ripped from his chest and trampled by rhinos over and over and over again. He was used to being popular, and now he had no one. Even Katie and Mrs. Knight couldn't stand to look at James. Mrs. Knight didn't even make James a sack lunch today.

Miss Collins entered the classroom, and the first thing she noticed was how Kendall, Carlos, and Logan weren't sitting next to James. Not that she could blame them though. Her eyes found Logan's. He had always been her favorite student. He got impeccable grades. He stayed out of trouble for the most part, unless his friends roped him into doing something detention-worthy. It was _because _Logan was her star pupil that this was especially difficult. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

"Logan, because you are no longer in TV, film, or music, you are no longer allowed to attend school here," Miss Collins announced.

"What?" Kendall replied incredulously.

"You can't be serious!" Carlos exclaimed.

James hung his head in shame. Add yet another thing that James had done to Logan; he got him kicked out of school. James couldn't bear to look at Logan. He was afraid of what he might see. James sunk lower in his seat.

XXXXX

Logan returned to Apartment 2J defeated. He wasn't even looking where he was going; he just stared at his feet. It was like one bad thing after another kept happening to Logan. How could this get any worse?

"Logan, Mr. Bitters is here," Mrs. Knight said, gently grabbing Logan's chin, and tilting it up so that he was looking her in the face.

Logan saw that Mr. Bitters was sitting on the orange sofa in the living room sipping tea. He immediately suspected that something was up. Mr. Bitters wasn't someone that even the nicest of tenants were buddy-buddy with, yet here he was lounging in the living room, sipping tea with Mama Knight.

"What's going on?" Logan asked, afraid to even know.

Mr. Bitters set his cup down on the coffee table. He rose to his feet, and walked over to Logan. He reached into his pant pocket, and pulled out a slip of paper. He then placed the paper against Logan's chest.

"This is an eviction notice. Seeing how Gustavo is paying for your stay here, he cut the cord…at least where you're concerned," Mr. Bitters said.

"What are you trying to say?" Logan asked, his eyes welling up with tears.

Mr. Bitters sighed. He didn't really like the hockey-heads, but out of the four of them, Logan was the one Mr. Bitters liked the most; he wasn't as much trouble as the other three. Besides, as much as he hated to admit it, the hockey-heads _have_ done nice things for Mr. Bitters. Christmas comes to mind.

"Gustavo isn't going to pay for _you_ to stay here anymore," Mr. Bitters answered.

"But where will I go?" Logan replied.

Mrs. Knight placed her hand on Logan's shoulder.

"I talked to your mom about this, and Joanna thinks it's best if you return home to Minnesota," Mrs. Knight stated.

"But this _is _my home! It has been for over a year now!" Logan exclaimed.

"Unfortunately, it isn't anymore. I really am sorry, but you have twenty-four hours to vacate the apartment," Mr. Bitters said, before ducking out of the apartment.

Logan's knees buckled. Mrs. Knight wrapped her arms around Logan's slender waist, keeping him upright.

"Here, let's have a seat on the couch," she said as she proceeded to drag Logan over to the oversized piece of furniture.

"I don't want to go back!" Logan remarked.

Mrs. Knight held Logan's face to her shoulder as he cried. He couldn't stay strong anymore. He also couldn't seem to catch a break. First he got kicked out of the band. Then he got kicked out of school. Now he was getting kicked out of the apartment. It was too much for him to take all at once.

"Shh! It's okay! Everything's going to be okay!" Mrs. Knight said as she stroked the hairs on the back of Logan's head lovingly.

XXXXX

At Rocque Records, Griffin dropped in on Gustavo. He patted him on the head condescendingly.

"I saw James' public address as I'm sure everyone has by now. All I can say is good boy, Gustavo! Good boy!" Griffin commented.

Gustavo hated how Griffin treated him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was similar to how he treated the 'dogs.' Now that he had some time to let it all digest, Gustavo wondered if he really did the right thing.

No doubt Big Time Rush had their loyal fans that would stand by them no matter what; no matter who gets kicked out of the band. However, Gustavo was worried that with Logan gone, they would lose a sizeable chunk of their fan base. He was concerned that their concerts might not sell out anymore. He was concerned that record sales will plummet.

All Gustavo had to do to silence those doubts was remind himself of what Logan had said to him. It was practically insubordination. Logan was way out of line, and actions have consequences. After all Gustavo had done for the dogs, including Logan, for Logan to do that was practically like Logan spitting in his face. Gustavo wasn't going to stand for that.

At the same time, Gustavo had gained a newfound respect for Logan. Apparently, Kendall wasn't the only one who had "the fire." Gustavo knew he was an intimidating guy, so he couldn't help but respect anyone who had the guts to stand up to him.

It was a shame things had to turn out this way though. Gustavo was starting to actually warm up to Logan. It showed by Logan starting to get to sing the lead more in songs. It showed by Logan getting more solos. Gustavo believed in Logan and the talent he possessed.

Gustavo mentally slapped himself. He wouldn't allow himself to feel bad about what he did to Logan. His _former_ 'dog' had basically told him that he has no talent. That didn't fly with Gustavo. Logan left him no choice. Gustavo had to make an example out of Logan. That's why he kicked him out of the band. That's why he evicted Logan from The Palm Woods. Hopefully now the other three 'dogs' would realize that Gustavo was not someone they should cross.

"I have to ask. Now that Logan's out, do you plan on replacing him or having Big Time Rush be a three-member group?" Griffin asked.

Gustavo was kind of shocked that Griffin was letting _him_ decide.

"We won't be replacing Logan," Gustavo answered. _No one can replace Logan_.

To Be Continued…


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**Big Time Sick**

"Logan Mitchell?" a chauffeur asked.

"Yes?" Logan asked uncertainly from the parking lot at The Palm Woods.

"Get in."

Despite his confusion, Logan obliged, getting in the black stretch limousine. His immediate reaction was that Gustavo had sent a limo for him. Logan's hope was that Gustavo had come to his senses, and decided to reverse his decision of kicking him out of the band. Then, Logan could still go to school at The Palm Woods, and _live_ at The Palm Woods. But most importantly, Logan wouldn't have to leave Los Angeles.

Fortunately for Logan, there were only _three_ people who knew that he had been given an eviction notice: Mama Knight, Mr. Bitters, and Logan himself. The brainy teenager didn't know how to break the news to Carlos and Kendall. They would no doubt be devastated. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to break _any_ such news to them once he spoke with Gustavo.

Now that Logan had some time to cool off, he started to regret his actions. People can say what they want, but the truth of the matter was that _Logan_ got Logan kicked out of Big Time Rush. If he had just kept his mouth shut, _none_ of this would have happened. Normally, he wasn't even a confrontational person. It's just he had reached his breaking point.

Logan couldn't help but think of James. He felt angry at James. He felt disappointed in James. He felt betrayed by James. However, a part of Logan still cared about James. A part of Logan missed the friendship he and James once shared. When Logan really thought about it, he started to wonder if maybe James had done him a favor by denying the rumor. Logan had always been afraid of getting caught with James. In some weird, twisted way maybe James was trying to _protect _Logan.

That being said, Logan didn't particularly care for the solution James had proposed; that they secretly date. Logan hated it when people kept secrets from him. He hated it when people lied to him. Besides, Logan was a horrible liar himself. His voice would often give him away; it would get all high-pitched when he was lying. It may or may not be accompanied by a nervous chuckle or three.

Logan was just confused. It used to be that he could go through the day while wearing a blindfold. He knew _exactly _what to expect; he knew _exactly _what awaited him each and every day. Now, there was so much…uncertainty, and it was terrifying.

Logan was shook from his thoughts when the limo took a wrong turn.

"Hey, this isn't the way to Rocque Records!" Logan commented.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight had called a family meeting. Katie, Kendall, Carlos, and James were all in the living room on the orange sofa. She was standing in front of them. None of the children liked the look on Mrs. Knight's face.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it; Logan's been evicted from The Palm Woods," Mrs. Knight blurted out.

"What?" Carlos asked in disbelief.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Kendall replied.

Mrs. Knight sighed. Her hands were trembling. Everyone could see plain as day that she was trying to hold back her tears. She had come to view Carlos, James, and Logan as her children. She thought of them the same way she thought of Kendall and Katie. She loved them all just as much.

"I wish I could. I'm just a stay-at-home mom. I don't have that kind of money. I could get a job, but there would be no way I could get the money in time," Mama Knight answered.

"How much time do you have?" Katie questioned.

"24 hours."

James bolted to his feet.

"This is stupid! Why is Logan getting punished? I'm the one who messed up! If anyone deserves all this bad stuff, it's me!" James exclaimed.

"You got that right," Kendall said under his breath.

Carlos looked around the room, a confused expression on his face.

"Where is Logan anyways?" Carlos asked.

"Oh, someone sent a limo for him. I just figured Gustavo sent the limo," Mrs. Knight answered.

Hearing her say that idea out loud, she realized for the first time how ludicrous that sounded. There was no way Gustavo would have a change of heart so fast. They all knew Gustavo. He was one of the most stubborn people alive. But that still left one question: Who _did _send the limo then?

XXXXX

Logan found himself at Hawk Records. This was the third time he had been to Hawk Records, but only the second time he had been inside Hawk Records. Logan soon found himself face-to-face with Gustavo's archenemy, Hawk. Waiting in the wing was his female assistant, Rebecca.

"Logan Mitchell," Hawk said from behind his ever-present shades.

"What do you want? Why did you bring me here?" Logan asked, feeling extremely uneasy.

Hawk rose from his office chair, walked around the desk, and walked over to Logan, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. Logan flinched from the contact. Whatever Hawk had in store for him, it couldn't be good. Logan figured Hawk would use him to get back at Gustavo somehow. Little did he know how right he really was.

"The word is you've made quite a mess of things. Getting yourself kicked out of the band, school, and The Palm Woods," Hawk stated.

Logan didn't really understand how that had anything to do with why Hawk sent a limo for him though. He continued to listen to Hawk with bated breath.

"I've got a solution for you," Hawk said.

"My ears are burning," Logan retorted sarcastically.

Hawk dismissed the teenager's antics. It's not often that you're granted a second chance in life. A do-over if you will. By some stroke of luck, Hawk had been granted one, and if he played his cards right, this time he will emerge victorious.

"Join me, Logan. Join my record label," Hawk stated.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Logan exclaimed.

"If you do, you can still have a career in the music business. You can still go to school at The Palm Woods. You can still live at The Palm Woods. I'll gladly pay for all your expenses. All you have to do in exchange, is sign a recording contract…with me."

Logan would be lying if he said that Hawk's deal wasn't tempting. It certainly would solve all his problems. He loved his mother and his family back in Minnesota, but he really didn't want to go home quite yet. He had friends here. He had a new family here. This was where he belonged.

Logan thought back to when James had joined forces with Hawk mistakenly thinking that Big Time Rush had replaced him. Logan recalled how hurt and betrayed he, Kendall, and Carlos felt. Did he really want to do that to them? Was it really worth it?

"As for your other problem," Rebecca said, her accent thick. She walked over to Logan and seductively traced her finger on his chest. "I can straighten you out."

Logan shoved Rebecca backwards, not caring if she _was_ a girl.

"Gross! No! I'm still a minor! And you're…how old are you anyways? You're _not_ a minor! I know that much!" Logan retorted.

"Come now, Logan. Don't you want revenge on Gustavo? On James?" Hawk asked.

Logan noticed how Hawk had intentionally left out Kendall and Carlos' names. He hated to admit it, but Hawk was saying all the right things.

"What about Kendall and Carlos? They're my best friends!" Logan remarked.

"Yes, well sometimes there's collateral damage," Hawk responded.

Logan fiercely shook his head.

"Forget it! I'm not going to do that to them! In fact, I wouldn't join your record label if yours was the last record label on Earth! You don't seem to get it, Hawk. I wasn't a part of Big Time Rush because it was my dream. I was a part of Big Time Rush because I liked singing with my buds. I'm not a singer. I never wanted to be one. I always wanted to be a doctor," Logan said.

"I disagree. I think you are incredibly talented. I don't think Gustavo realizes how talented you really are. Aren't you tired of being held back by Gustavo? Aren't you tired of Kendall and James getting to sing all the leads? Aren't you tired of them getting all the solos? Join me, and _you_ will get all the leads. _You_ will get all the solos," Hawk offered.

Logan was stunned. Hawk must have really done his research. He had to give the Devil his due; Hawk was playing off all of Logan's insecurities. The contract was flipped to the only page that required Logan's signature. Hawk handed Logan a ballpoint pen.

XXXXX

"It's going straight to voicemail," Gustavo said to Kelly, who was driving.

She had been keeping tabs on Logan through his cell phone, much like she secretly kept tabs on Gustavo without his knowledge. Unfortunately, they lost Logan's signal. That could have meant several different things. Logan could have turned his phone off. His phone might be broken. There might be poor reception. However, what really worried Gustavo and Kelly was where Logan's phone signal last was; Hawk Records.

"I bet Hawk is trying to get Logan to join him as we speak. I just hope we get there in time to stop him. My loss isn't going to be Hawk's gain. It won't even be my loss for much longer once I apologize to Logan," Gustavo said.

Gustavo did in fact have a change of heart since the blowout with Logan. The record producer was still a bit grossed out by Logan's sexual orientation, but that didn't change his singing ability. Gustavo never _explicitly_ told Logan how much he's improved as a singer. He really wasn't good at that sort of thing. However, he thought that the fact that Logan got to sing lead more and got more solos was hint enough, but what if he was wrong? What if Logan still believed that he was the weakest link? What if he believed that Hawk would appreciate him more than Gustavo?

Another thing that Gustavo came to realize was that it wasn't _entirely_ his decision to have James deny the rumor. Griffin had been in his ear about it. Griffin had told him to fix it. After James addressed the public, after Logan had been kicked out, Griffin had told Gustavo that he had done good. It was what _Griffin _wanted. Gustavo was his own man. What Griffin wanted didn't have to be what he wanted too. Gustavo had trouble standing up to Griffin mostly because Griffin was his boss, and could easily fire him.

As soon as Kelly had pinpointed Logan's location, she had relayed that information to the rest of the band. Well, actually Kendall's mom, but she no doubt had passed the information along to the boys. No doubt they were on their way to Hawk Records too. Now, it was a race against time.

XXXXX

Carlos couldn't believe it. None of the boys could. Was it so much to ask that Hawk just leave them alone? Carlos liked to think that Logan wouldn't do anything drastic. However, he also knew that Logan was a mess. From experience, Carlos knew that when Logan was a mess, there was no telling what he was or wasn't capable of.

Carlos felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, though not right away. He dug it out before answering it.

"Hello?" Carlos greeted.

"Carlos, it's Dr. Summers. Your lab results are in. You're a match," she said.

Carlos said nothing in response. He didn't know what to say. He hung up on the good doctor without saying another word. He didn't know how he should feel. He didn't know how he should act. Should he be happy? Should he be relieved?

"Who was that?" Kendall asked.

"That was Dr. Summers. I'm a match," Carlos answered.

James' heart sunk. The lack of excitement in Carlos' voice didn't go unnoticed by James. No doubt, he was having second thoughts about being a donor in the first place. Not that James wanted Carlos to be a donor either. He still much rather take his chances with the organ donor waiting list than put any of his friends at risk.

"You know you don't _have_ to donate your liver, right?" James asked.

"Well good, because I don't think you _deserve_ my liver!" Carlos retorted bitterly.

Kendall was awfully quiet during all of this. He had got tested too before the latest issue of Pop Tiger was even published. What if he was a match too? Would he still want to donate his liver? Who was he kidding? Not after all that James had pulled. Especially not if Logan jumped ship. If that happened, Kendall wouldn't blame Logan; he'd blame James.

"What do you want me to say, Carlos?" James demanded.

"How about that you're sorry?" Carlos responded.

"Fine! I'm sorry! There! Are you happy now?"

"Say it like you mean it!"

"I do!"

James stomach lurched. The interior of the vehicle was spinning around him. He grabbed at his lower back, his teeth clenched in pain. Bright spots danced in front of his eyes. He could feel the acidic contents of his stomach gradually make their ascent up his esophagus.

_No, not now! We need to get to Logan!_ James tried to will himself to be better, but it was no good. It seemed like the harder he tried to be fine, the worse he became.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Carlos yelled, realizing that James was no longer paying attention to him.

James spewed all over the seat's upholstery.

"That does it! We're taking you to the hospital!" Mrs. Knight said, turning the steering wheel.

XXXXX

"Logan, put the pen down," Gustavo shouted as he and Kelly rushed into Hawk's office.

Logan turned his head towards his _former _boss, surprised to see him there at all.

"Why should I?" Logan asked.

Kelly nudged Gustavo.

"I like you. Big Time Rush wouldn't be the same without you. What do you say? Will you come back?" Gustavo inquired.

Logan took some time to think about it. The longer he thought about it, the better Hawk felt and the worse Gustavo felt.

"No," Logan said.

"Ha! You lose! I win!" Hawk boasted to Gustavo.

Logan then turned to face a gloating Hawk.

"I never said I'd join you either. I'm not going to be some weapon for you to use against my friends," Logan said.

Kelly was starting to realize what Logan was saying. Her eyes started to fill with tears. She stepped forward.

"Logan, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Kelly asked.

"Yes, Kelly. I'm going back to Minnesota," Logan answered.

Kelly slapped Gustavo in the back of his head.

"Gustavo, tell him! Tell him how much he means to the band! Tell him how proud you are of him!" Kelly urged.

"Logan, I…you…" Gustavo stammered. He never had been good with all this mushy stuff.

"It doesn't matter, Gustavo. I just can't do it. I can't with James there. I don't want to see him anymore much less be in a band with him," Logan said.

Even though Logan said that he didn't want to see James anymore, it didn't stop him from eyeing the door, expecting James to show up any second now. Logan was starting to come to the conclusion though that James wasn't coming.

"Thanks for the memories, Gustavo. It was fun while it lasted," Logan said before leaving four very speechless people behind.

To Be Continued…


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: So I'm coughing up green stuff, and my throat feels like it's closing up. Awesome! Ugh!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

"Hey Mom. I know my flight isn't supposed to be until early in the morning, but is there any way I can get an earlier flight?" Logan asked.

"Sweetie, why don't you enjoy your last night with your friends?" Joanna Mitchell suggested.

Logan closed his eyes and took deep breaths as he tried to choke back his sobs. The hand that was holding onto his cell phone was shaking. His eyes were starting to well up with tears.

"They're going to try to stop me, Mom! I _know _they will! It's going to be too hard for me to say goodbye! So maybe if I slip away without them knowing, I won't _have _to say goodbye at all," Logan reasoned.

"Oh, Hortense," Mrs. Mitchell said, her voice chock full of sympathy. "You can't _not _say goodbye to them. They've been a part of your life every day for the last eleven years. After all that, they at least deserve a goodbye from you."

And it would be a goodbye too. Logan had no intention of ever returning to Los Angeles. He'd no doubt end up going to school in Minnesota again. Minnesota would once again be his home.

"I'm scared, Mom. It's practically always been the four of us. What am I supposed to do without them? What if I'm not good being on my own?" Logan asked.

Joanna Mitchell was conflicted, so she held her tongue. A part of her was elated that her baby boy would be coming back to Minnesota. The rest of her was sad about the _reasons_ her son was returning to Minnesota. From the way he talked, Logan acted like it would be the end of his friendship with Kendall, James, and Carlos. That thought alone tore Mrs. Mitchell up inside because she always thought the four of them would be best friends for life.

"Honey, you'll be fine. Why wouldn't people want to be friends with you here? Besides, it's not like you're _completely _starting over. You still have some friends here," Logan's mom said.

"Mom, why am I such a screw up? I mean if I wasn't such a screw up, I wouldn't have to go back to Minnesota at all," Logan said.

"Hortense Mitchell, you are _not _a screw up, do you hear me? I never want to hear you talk about yourself like that again! If you did anything wrong at all, it was bottling up your feelings. If something bothers you or upsets you, you need to talk about it right then and there. You've seen what happens if you don't; you explode," Mrs. Mitchell said.

"But that's always how I've dealt with my feelings," Logan responded.

"I know, but there are better ways, honey. Talk to Kendall, James, and Carlos. I would just hate for you to live with the regret of never telling them goodbye."

XXXXX

James had to stay at the hospital overnight for observation. Even though Kendall and Carlos wanted to find Logan, Mrs. Knight made them stay at the hospital. She was actually in James' hospital room visiting him.

"You had me worried," Mrs. Knight said, speaking quietly.

"Huh. I didn't know you cared," James retorted.

"Of course I care! I never stopped! Just because I've been mad at you doesn't mean that I didn't care about you. If anything, I was so mad at you because I cared so much about you."

James rolled his eyes. He didn't understand Mama Knight at all sometimes. Like her son, Kendall, Mrs. Knight had been strongly opposed to James and Logan dating from day one. James thought that she would be jumping for joy or something right about now.

"Why don't you just say it already? Tell me how mad you are at me because Logan's the one leaving instead of me. I can be clueless at times, but I'm not blind. I know you like Logan better than me. I've seen the way you are around him. It's almost like…like he's your second son or something," James said resentfully.

Mrs. Knight was shocked by what James was saying. She thought she had done a pretty good job of treating them all equally, but apparently not.

"You're right. I am fond of Logan. I'm fond of you and Carlos as well. I view all three of you as my children because ever since we've lived here in L.A. I've been like a mother to you all. If I seem closer to Logan, it's because he comes to me for help or advice. Like when he wanted to sneak into that math lecture. Or when he wanted to date that girl, Peggy, but didn't know if Camille still had feelings for him. It makes me feel like I'm needed," Mrs. Knight explained.

"Then help me, Mama Knight. What do I do? How can I make this right?" James asked.

XXXXX

"Okay. Thanks for letting us know, Gustavo," Kendall said before hanging up his cell phone.

Carlos looked at Kendall with curiosity.

"That was Gustavo. Hawk tried to get Logan to join him," Kendall explained.

Carlos gulped nervously. "Did he?"

Kendall shook his head, eliciting a sigh of relief from the helmet-wearing teenager.

"So is he back in the band then?" Carlos asked, eyes shining with hope.

"No," Kendall answered.

Carlos' shoulders slumped in defeat. Kendall walked over to Carlos and wrapped his arms around his shorter friend's shoulders.

"Doesn't Logie like us anymore?" Carlos asked, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears.

"Of course he does! He just doesn't like James much right now," Kendall replied.

Kendall was now more convinced than ever that this was all James' fault. He was the reason Logan didn't want to be a part of Big Time Rush again. He was the reason Logan got kicked out of the band in the first place. He was the reason Logan couldn't go to school at The Palm Woods. He was the reason Logan got evicted.

"Kendall?" Carlos asked timidly.

"Yeah, buddy?" Kendall responded.

"Do you…do you think I should give James my liver?"

Just like that, Kendall let go of Carlos, took a couple steps back, and had an incredulous look on his face. He always knew Carlos was crazy, but this was unreal!

"I mean I've been doing some thinking. Yeah, I'm mad at James _right now_. I might get over it later though. Plus, he's dying Kendall. James is dying. I'd feel horrible if I could have done something but chose not to out of anger," Carlos said.

"If roles were reversed, do you think he would donate his liver to you?" Kendall asked.

"Oh, absolutely, which is why I feel bad that I'd even have to think about it."

"Do what you want, Carlos! If you want to be friends with someone like _that_…"

"Don't you think you're being a little rough on James? I mean I know I'm one to talk, but seeing you like this makes me wonder if you'd be so quick to turn your back on me if I ever messed up. I think I'm going to go see James now."

XXXXX

Gustavo knocked on the driver's side window of the Big Time Rush Mobile. Logan was camped out in the parking lot on the cell phone talking with his mother. Or at least he was before Gustavo interrupted him. He rolled down the window after saying bye to his mother.

"What do you want?" Logan asked.

"You don't have to do this, Logan. You don't have to leave L.A. You have another option; come back to the band," Gustavo said.

Logan scoffed.

"What, so the next time I speak my mind, you'll fire me again? Thanks, but no thanks, Gustavo," Logan answered.

Gustavo's posture was tense and rigid. He was so used to talking down to the dogs that this whole talking-to-them-like-they-were-his-equal thing felt kind of strange to him. He had told Kelly that he would talk to Logan on his own though, a decision that Gustavo was starting to regret. Maybe he needed Kelly there to nudge him in the right direction.

"Yeah, about that…you were right. I wouldn't have a career without you guys. Sure I come up with the lyrics to the songs, and the notes to the songs, but let's face it; No one would buy one of my albums. That's why I need you d…guys. And honestly, I admire how you're not afraid to stand up to your boss. See, I wouldn't know anything about that," Gustavo said.

Oddly enough, Logan felt sympathy for Gustavo.

"I'm sorry, Gustavo. It was probably a one-time thing. I usually don't lash out at my superiors like that and show them such disrespect. Everything I said was how I felt, but there was a probably a better way for me to go about telling you," Logan said.

"I'm proud of you guys. I probably don't say that often enough, but I am. You've all come a long way. You in particular, Logan. I mean I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but that's kind of been why you've been getting to sing the lead more and why you've been getting more solos. I believe in you. I like you…just not the way you like James," Gustavo said.

Logan blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Big Time Rush needs you, Logan. You have talent. It would be a shame for that talent to go to waste. You don't have to decide anything right now. Just think about it, okay?" Gustavo told Logan.

Logan chuckled to himself as he noticed how Gustavo got more and more uncomfortable the longer he talked.

"This heart-to-heart stuff isn't easy for you, is it?" Logan asked, grinning.

"That's an understatement! Please tell me we're done!" Gustavo exclaimed.

"Yeah, we're done. And Gustavo? I won't make you any promises, but I will think about it."

XXXXX

"I think the first thing you need to do is make another public address. Tell the world that you are in love with Logan. But before you do that, I think you need to talk to Logan and tell him yourself. He shouldn't have to hear it by watching it on TV," Mrs. Knight said.

James knitted his eyebrows in confusion.

"I thought you didn't like the idea of me and Logan dating?" James asked.

"James, I never said that. I just don't want the two of you…you know…doing it…in the apartment," Mrs. Knight said awkwardly.

James laughed. He and Logan were a long ways off from that. In fact, James was pretty sure Logan was still a virgin. James wasn't. He had plenty of experience, although none of that was with another guy.

Carlos knocked softly on the door.

"I'll let the two of you talk," Mrs. Knight said before leaving James' hospital room.

James gazed out the window, anything to not have to look at Carlos. When he told James that he didn't deserve his liver, well Carlos' words still stung.

"Come on, James. Don't be like that," Carlos said.

"What are _you_ doing here?" James asked, feigning interest.

Carlos frowned. A part of him was hurt by how icy James was being towards him. However, the rest of him knew that he probably deserved it.

"I'm here to say I'm sorry, and to tell you that you can have my liver if you want it," Carlos said meekly.

James was stunned. He was fully prepared to be mad at Carlos too.

"Wait. What?" James asked in disbelief.

"I don't want you to die, James. I can't lose you too," Carlos responded.

"Come here."

Carlos entered the threshold. He pulled up a chair, and sat in it. James took Carlos' head and rested it on his chest. Carlos could hear the soft pitter-patter of James' heart.

Trishelle just happened to be passing by after having visited her lab tech ex-boyfriend. She saw what appeared to be Carlos and James having a rather intimate moment. She whipped out her cell phone and started recording.

"See Carlos? This is why I love you," James said.

"I love you too, James. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," Carlos replied.

Trishelle stopped recording. She got all that she needed. No one knew it, but she was the anonymous source who went to Hawk with photos of James and Logan's movie date. Ever since moving to The Palm Woods, she had been keeping tabs on her future baby daddy. Some people would even say that she stalked James.

Trishelle uploaded the video to her Scuttlebutter page. She had to be flexible about this whole thing. She had to be prepared to change her tactics based on what she was given to work with. Right now, she had decided that it was in her best interest to get Logan out of the way. She knew that James felt _something_ for her. They did make out after all, and it couldn't just be that James was a good kisser. There was something between them. All Trishelle needed to do was exploit that. If everything went according to plan, when it was all said and done, James would be madly in love with her, and the two of them would raise a child together.

Everything _was _going according to plan too. Logan and James were fighting. Logan had been kicked out of the band. He had been kicked out of school. He had been evicted from his apartment. By this time tomorrow, he wouldn't even be in Los Angeles anymore. That was when Trishelle would swoop in.

As for this video, it was just an insurance policy for Trishelle. Just in case Logan was having second thoughts about leaving Los Angeles. She had no doubt in her mind that after Logan saw the video, there would be no way he would want to be around James.

To Be Continued…


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I'm not 100 percent, but I'm actually thinking of not calling in sick today. This is the best I've felt in six days. **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own anything.**

**Big Time Sick**

Logan was checking his e-mail on his smart phone. He saw that he had over a dozen notifications on his Scuttlebutter page. He went to the Scuttlebutter app, and saw what the fuss was all about. A video had gone viral, and caused quite a buzz. Thinking nothing of it, Logan clicked on the video.

"_See Carlos? This is why I love you," James said._

"_I love you too, James. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," Carlos replied._

Logan shook his head as he noticed how James held Carlos' head to his chest. Tears sprang to his eyes. It couldn't be! They couldn't betray him like that! They wouldn't! Logan paid no attention to the fact that James had on a hospital gown. He had far more pressing concerns on his mind.

Logan went to chuck his phone, but then thought better of it. That had cost him over six hundred dollars. He had saved up for quite some time to buy himself that phone. Even though he was livid, he wasn't going to break his cell phone.

Logan grabbed the keys to the Big Time Rush Mobile before hurrying out the door to Apartment 2J. He didn't know how, but he somehow knew where James and Carlos were. He somehow recalled their being in a hospital room from the video that was less than a minute in length.

He felt like such an idiot. He was actually going to stay in Los Angeles. That was before he saw the video of James and Carlos being all _cozy_ with each other. Logan was going to rejoin the band, and give James another chance. But after this, it wasn't just James that Logan wanted to avoid.

What hurt the most wasn't James' betrayal. As horrible as it sounded, Logan had come to expect that sort of thing from James. No, what really broke Logan up inside was Carlos' betrayal. Carlos was the last person Logan would have ever expected to betray him. But the proof was in the pudding, wasn't it? James and Carlos just confessed their love for one another in that video online.

In the back of Logan's mind, he thought that he shouldn't be driving in his condition. As it was, he gripped the steering wheel with trembling hands. The tears that filled his eyes compromised his vision. Logan didn't really care though. Maybe if he got in a car accident, he would die, and James and Carlos could have each other for all Logan cared.

XXXXX

Trishelle was so engrossed with the comments on Scuttlebutter that she wasn't really watching where she was going. She collided into someone.

"Hey, watch it!" she exclaimed before she even saw who she bumped into.

"You're the one who was too busy on your phone to watch where you were going!" Kendall countered.

A smile crossed Trishelle's features. This couldn't have worked out any better. Although she hadn't been formally introduced, she knew who Kendall was. She also happened to know how much Kendall didn't like the idea of James and Logan dating.

"Hi! I'm Trishelle," she said, holding out her hand for Kendall to shake.

"And I'm not interested," Kendall replied before spinning around on his heels and starting to walk in the opposite direction.

Trishelle made Kendall uncomfortable. He had never met a girl who dressed so…provocatively…before. Like everything was just…right there for everyone to see. Maybe she thought it was sexy, but Kendall found it disgusting.

"Hey!" Trishelle called out. "You and I have something in common."

Kendall wheeled back around to face her, an amused expression on his face.

"You've got to be kidding me! You and I have _nothing_ in common!" Kendall remarked.

"That's not true. We both don't want James and Logan to date," Trishelle said.

That got Kendall's attention. For the first time in their conversation, he actually appeared to be interested in what Trishelle had to say.

"I always get what I want. Join forces with me, and together, we'll break James and Logan up. Then, I'll have James all to myself, and you'll have Logan all to yourself," Trishelle told Kendall.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't like Logan like that!" Kendall protested.

"Whatever! You're in a _boy band_!"

Kendall had to admit that he _did_ want James and Logan broken up. Right now, things looked good on that front. The only wrench in the plan was that Logan was still contemplating leaving Los Angeles.

"It doesn't really matter!" Trishelle said, suddenly annoyed with Kendall. "I've already made a huge move. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't even really need you!"

"What do you mean you've already made a huge move?" Kendall asked.

"Check your Scuttlebutter."

XXXXX

Since Trishelle had recorded the video, Carlos had climbed into James' hospital bed where James held him in his arms. Carlos still had his head nestled against James' chest. James didn't know what else to do for Carlos. He knew why he needed comforting right about now. He also couldn't help but feel like he was to blame that Carlos needed comforting in the first place.

"I don't want Logan to leave. What are we going to do?" Carlos asked softly.

James tried to ignore the sharp pain in his lower back. He bit his bottom lip so that he wouldn't cry. He tried not to think anything of the lump on his back that grown to the diameter of a cereal bowl.

"I don't know, buddy. I don't know," James answered even though it wasn't much of an answer.

Carlos started crying, which only made James hold onto him even tighter.

"It's always been the four of us for as long as I can remember," Carlos commented somberly.

James didn't know what to say. He didn't think there was anything he could do. It's not like he could just get up and leave the hospital when he was supposed to stay overnight for observation. James choked back a sob when a thought occurred to him; by the time he got released from the hospital, Logan would already be on his way back to Minnesota.

"As soon as I get out of here, I'm going to make another public statement. This time, I'm going to tell everyone the truth; the rumor wasn't a rumor at all," James said.

Carlos looked up at James, proud of his friend. "You are?" Carlos asked.

"Of course! It's the right thing to do! I just wish I would have done that the first time!"

"Yeah, me too."

James knew that Carlos hadn't meant anything by his statement, but he still took it the wrong way. Everything was his fault! Logan wouldn't have been kicked out of the band if James had just come clean to everyone to begin with. Logan wouldn't have been kicked out of school and The Palm Woods.

XXXXX

After seeing the video Trishelle had been talking about, Kendall stormed into James' hospital room. Little did he know that someone was right behind him. The first thing he noticed was that James and Carlos were in bed together.

"What is your problem?" Kendall yelled at the both of them.

Carlos and James both sat upright, confused by Kendall's outburst.

"What are you talking about?" James asked.

"This!" Kendall exclaimed, before playing the video for James and Carlos.

_No! No, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening! Who even took this? When did they take it? Why did they take it? What were they trying to pull? This was bad! Really, really bad! How many people have seen this?_

"Has Logan seen it?" James asked, afraid to even know.

"You mean the video of you and Carlos confessing your love for one another? Why yes, I have," Logan said, appearing in the doorway.

"It's not what it looks like!" Carlos countered.

"Look at the two of you! You're in bed together!" Logan shouted.

Carlos couldn't stand to see the betrayed look on Logan's face as he glared murderously at him and James. His eyes welled up with tears as he scrambled out of James' hospital bed as though that would make any difference now.

"It was taken out of context!" James exclaimed.

"Oh, was it now?" Logan retorted, unconvinced.

"Carlos had just got done telling me that he would donate his liver to me after all," James explained.

Logan rounded on Carlos, who lowered his head out of fear. He didn't like it when people got mad at him.

"And why wouldn't he? After all he loves you! Right, Carlos?" Logan hollered.

Then something dawned on Logan. He held up his index finger as he closed his eyes, and let out a humorless laugh. This unnerved everyone else in the room, especially James and Carlos.

"You're trying to one-up me, aren't you? That's what this is really about, isn't it? You think that by telling James that you'll donate your liver that makes you better than me, don't you?" Logan screamed at Carlos, who was shrinking away in tears.

"It's not like that, Logan! You have to believe me!" Carlos pleaded, darting over to Logan, and grabbing his hands.

Logan roughly shook himself free.

"Don't touch me! I don't _have_ to believe anything, _ex-best friend_!" Logan spat, earning a whimper from Carlos. "I expected this sort of thing from James, but you were the _one_ person I _never_ thought would stab me in the back like this!"

James sat there in stunned silence. He couldn't even bring himself to come to Carlos' aid. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Logan thought so little of him. His mouth hung open, but no words came out of it.

Kendall tried to hide the smile that was forming on his face. He felt like this was too good to be true. He wanted to pinch himself just to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but he didn't want to chance it. He had wanted James and Logan to break up, but never in his wildest dreams did Kendall think it would turn out quite like this.

"Logan, please!" Carlos cried out.

"Shut _up_, Carlos! I don't want to hear your excuses! I really should have seen this coming! I mean the two of you have always been so close! You're cut from the same cloth! Birds of a feather flock together! And to think, Gustavo had actually convinced me to stay! Yeah, can you believe that? I was about to come and find you guys to tell you the good news, until I saw this video, that is!" Logan roared.

That got everyone's attention. Logan had been planning on staying in Los Angeles after all. Then this leaked video had to go and ruin everything.

"Besides, Carlos is a match too, right? That's great! That means you no longer need me to stick around!" Logan remarked.

"Oh my gosh! You're overreacting!" James commented.

Logan roughly brushed past Carlos as he made his way to James' bedside. Even sitting up, Logan towered over James ever so slightly.

"Am I now? Then say it! Tell me to my face that there's nothing going on between you and Carlos!" Logan demanded.

"There's nothing going on between me and Carlos," James said, emphasizing every single word.

Logan vehemently shook his head, his eyes filling with tears at an alarming rate. His knees suddenly gave out on him, and he nearly hit his chin on the metal railing of James' hospital bed. He sank to his knees on the floor. He buried his face in his hands, and cried.

"You're lying! I know you are!" Logan said, sobbing.

Every instinct told Carlos to go and comfort Logan despite everything that had just happened. He went to do so.

"Don't you take one step closer!" Logan yelled.

Carlos froze in his tracks. He couldn't even see because his vision was so clouded by tears. He desperately wanted Logan to understand that this was all just one big misunderstanding. He desperately wanted his best friend back.

"I was scared to go back to Minnesota by myself," Logan said, his voice a tad calmer. "But then I realized that I don't need you! I don't need any of you!"

Logan then stormed out of the room.

"I hope you guys are happy," Kendall remarked.

"What? Like you are? You could have done something, you know? Other than stand there with that triumphant smirk on your face! I don't think I'll ever understand why you don't want me and Logan together, but if any of us could have stopped him from leaving, Kendall, it was you, and you did nothing. So I hope _you_ are happy," James countered.

"I didn't even do anything wrong," Carlos said to no one in particular as tears streaked his face.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Yeah…some of you totally called this…**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: For those of you who don't follow "In the Beginning," I have a new poll on my profile page asking which new multi-chapter you want me to write after I finish one of my current multi-chapters. Doppelganger is a Logan torture fic. Hold On is a Cargan (bromance) fic where Carlos and Logan are involved in a rock climbing accident. Ultio Ultionis is a Carlos-centric story that is similar to Doppelganger in some ways, but basically criminals and families of criminals come after Carlos to get revenge on Officer Garcia. **

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Visiting hours were over at the hospital so Kendall and Carlos returned to The Palm Woods. Kendall drove, and the entire ride was spent in silence. Carlos wouldn't even look at Kendall.

The front door swung open. As soon as they entered the threshold, Kendall shutting the door behind them, Carlos turned around to give Kendall a piece of his mind.

"You are such a jerk!" Carlos said venomously to Kendall. "Was that fun for you? Sitting back and doing nothing while Logan yelled at me for something I didn't even do!"

Mrs. Knight bounded into the room, having heard shouting.

"What's going on here?" she asked looking first at her son, and then at Carlos.

"Your _son_ just proved what a douche bag he is!" Carlos replied.

Mrs. Knight gasped in horror. She had never heard Carlos, or any of the boys for that matter, use such language before. She was frankly flabbergasted that it would come out of sweet, innocent Carlos' mouth.

"Language!" Mrs. Knight scolded.

"Carlos, I'm sorry that Logan yelled at you," Kendall said, trying to reason with Carlos.

"Is that so? Well excuse me if I don't believe you, Kendall! In fact, I don't think you're capable of feeling sorry! I don't know what's gotten into you, but it's like I don't even know you anymore! You got what you wanted; James and Logan aren't getting back together! Never mind the fact that Logan hates me now! But that doesn't matter to you, does it?" Carlos shouted.

Mrs. Knight was beyond confused. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out what the two boys were fighting about. All she knew was that she had never seen any of them as mad at each other as Carlos seemed to be mad at Kendall now.

"Okay, does somebody want to tell me what's going on here?" Mrs. Knight interjected.

"Why don't you ask your _perfect_ son? Although I should probably warn you, once you find out what he did, you might not think he's so perfect anymore. That is, if he even tells you the truth, which he probably won't!" Carlos remarked before stalking off down the hallway.

XXXXX

Logan was at LAX. He had taken a taxi to the airport. He wheeled his suitcase behind him as he walked in through a set of sliding glass doors. Logan's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy looking. Anyone could tell that Logan had been crying, but right now, he didn't particularly care.

After walking in on Carlos and James at the hospital, Logan drove the Big Time Rush Mobile back to Apartment 2J, threw his belongings into his suitcase, and then took a taxi to the airport. He didn't want anyone to catch him or try to stop him, so he knew he had to be quick.

Logan had called his mother, and they changed his flight to the next available flight departing from LAX. Logan didn't even care if the flight wasn't going to Minnesota. He could change flights later. All that mattered to him right now was getting out of here.

He didn't care if he wasn't telling anyone goodbye. The way Logan saw it, no one deserved a goodbye from Logan except for Katie and Mrs. Knight. As for Kendall, James, and Carlos, good riddance! Besides, he didn't have time for goodbyes. His flight was scheduled to depart in a little over an hour.

Logan was sick of Kendall smothering him and butting into his personal life. What business of Kendall's was it who Logan did or didn't date? Logan never tried to sabotage any of Kendall's relationships. Besides, if Kendall really cared about Logan, he wouldn't have just let him leave. Logan was starting to think that Kendall cared more about him and James staying broken up than Logan himself.

Logan was sick of giving James second chances only to have James let him down time and time again. He loved James. As crazy as it sounded, even after everything, Logan still loves James. It's just as much happiness as James has brought Logan, he's also brought him tons of heartbreak. Logan couldn't take anymore heartbreak. This thing with Carlos was the last straw.

Logan was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that Carlos betrayed him. But the proof was right there, wasn't it? In the video. Not to mention that James and Carlos were in bed together when Logan showed up at James' hospital room! Logan's heart no doubt resembled swiss cheese; myriad holes in it. Logan would never look at Carlos the same after this. He never thought Carlos of all people could stoop so low.

XXXXX

James felt absolutely horrible, and he wasn't even talking about his back either. Logan _hated_ him. He seriously, legitimately hated him. James knew that he didn't do anything wrong _this time_, and that's probably why it hurt so much. Logan didn't trust him; it was as simple as that. James had betrayed Logan's trust three times already.

Now that no one else around, James let his tears fall freely. He no longer had to pretend to be stronger than he really was. Logan was leaving, and there really wasn't anything James could do about it. He felt so useless. Visiting hours were over at the hospital, and he was supposed to stay overnight for observation, but last James heard, Logan had an early morning flight; earlier than when visitation hours started back up.

James didn't want to lose Logan, not now, not _ever_, but what choice did he have? Even though Logan hadn't left yet, James already missed him. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. James wanted to do nothing more but hold Logan in his arms. He wanted to do nothing more but see his trademark dimpled smile again. James couldn't remember the last time Logan really had anything to smile about.

James wondered how Carlos was doing. He felt bad for how Logan had treated Carlos. Everyone was close to Logan in some way, but with Carlos and Logan, it was different. James didn't know how Carlos did it, but he could pretty much always talk Logan into doing something utterly ridiculous; ghost hunting, treasure hunting, and The Good Luck Patrol comes to mind.

James had absolutely no idea why Logan went off on Carlos, but he knew that Carlos didn't deserve any of it. Carlos had to be the most innocent person James knew. The boy didn't have a mean bone in his body. Carlos was just being a good friend to James. Why couldn't Logan see that? Carlos hadn't done anything wrong.

No matter what James thought about, it always came back to Logan. He was all James could think about apparently. In all the years he had known Logan, James had never seen him so angry before. Sure they had fought over the years. All four of them had, but by far, this was the most serious fight they have ever had with one another. James just wanted Logan to understand that this was all just one big misunderstanding. Someone was messing with them. James had no idea who, but it was clearly working.

James didn't want to think about how he wouldn't see Logan everyday anymore. Logan wouldn't be at school. Logan wouldn't be at Rocque Records. Logan wouldn't be at the apartment. He wouldn't be at any concert or photo shoot or autograph signing. James was so used to seeing Logan practically everyday that he didn't know how he could go without seeing him for days, weeks, or maybe even longer.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight had her hands on her hips. She was tapping her foot on the floor rather impatiently.

"Well?" she asked her son.

Kendall was trying to figure out where to start. He hated seeing the disappointment in his mother's eyes. He had always been like the prodigal son. Now, it was like his reputation was tarnished.

"You know that new girl, Trishelle?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah," Mrs. Knight answered.

"Well she posted this video online of James and Carlos confessing their love for one another. Logan somehow saw it, and came to the hospital to confront them about it. They got into this huge fight, and Logan said he was going to leave L.A., and took off," Kendall explained.

Mrs. Knight tilted her head to the side. Something didn't quite add up. Carlos was _clearly _mad at her son for some reason, but Kendall had said nothing about that in his story. Besides, after having talked to James fairly recently, she knew that James loved Logan.

"Okay, but what I want to know is why would Carlos be mad at you?" Mama Knight responded.

"Well, Logan kind of went off on Carlos, and told him that he's no longer his best friend. I didn't exactly do anything to stop it, but it's just I was so glad that Logan had finally seen the light and realized that he and James weren't right for one another that I kind of stood by and let it happen," Kendall replied.

"Kendall Donald Knight, I raised you better than that! Whatever problem you have with James isn't worth jeopardizing your friendship with Carlos over!"

Mrs. Knight threw her hands up in frustration and started to walk away from her son, shaking her head at him.

"Mom, where are you going?" Kendall asked, hating that she was upset with him.

"I'm going to talk to Carlos," Mrs. Knight replied.

Kendall dragged his feet behind him as he walked into the living room, and flopped down on the couch. He picked up the television remote, and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels.

XXXXX

"Logan?" a familiar voice asked.

Logan couldn't believe his eyes.

"Jo?" Logan asked, stunned.

Wheeling a suitcase with a squeaky wheel behind her, was Kendall's ex-girlfriend. This didn't even make sense. She was supposed to be in New Zealand filming a movie for three years. It didn't matter though. Logan was happy to see a familiar face, especially since he hadn't seen her in so long. He threw his arms around her in an embrace.

"What are you doing here? How have you been? How's filming in New Zealand? Why didn't you tell anyone you were coming? Does anyone know you're here?" Logan asked, spouting off one question after another.

Jo laughed.

"We wrapped up filming for now, and Big Time Rush has a concert coming up, right? I'm good. New Zealand is such a beautiful place, and the people there are all so nice. I didn't tell anyone I was coming because I wanted to surprise Kendall. You are the only one who knows I'm here. Why are you here? And why do you have a suitcase with you? Are you going somewhere?" Jo asked.

Logan let go of Jo. He backed up a couple of paces, staring at his feet. The joy he had felt from seeing Jo quickly evaporated. In its place was sadness. Jo grabbed Logan's hand.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jo inquired.

"Everything's such a mess. Where do I even begin?" Logan answered, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Hey, come here."

Jo held Logan in her arms as he cried. She had never seen Logan like this before. Something really awful must have happened. She regretted not keeping in touch with any of her friends from The Palm Woods. Filming in New Zealand had kept her plenty busy, but that was no excuse. Even though they were the same age, she always thought of Logan as the little brother she never had. It was probably the way he looked to other people, herself included, for advice.

"It's okay. I don't know what happened, but everything's going to be okay," Jo said reassuringly.

Logan shook his head, sniffling.

"No, it's not! I got kicked out of the band!" Logan exclaimed.

"Oh, Logan!" Jo said in a sympathetic voice.

"Please let me finish, Jo."

Jo pursed her lips together and nodded her head.

"I'm _gay_, Jo. James and I have kind of been seeing each other. Or at least we were. There's this new girl at The Palm Woods who claims James is the father of her unborn child. The whole world knows about me and James because we were on the cover of Pop Tiger magazine. Gustavo was worried about the band's image, so he wanted us to make a public statement denying the rumor that we are gay. I was strongly opposed to the idea, but James agreed to it. And so he made a public statement himself. I can't go to school at The Palm Woods anymore, and Mr. Bitters evicted me. I actually don't have to be out until noon tomorrow, but I can't stay there any longer, so I got an earlier flight. James is dying. He has some rare liver disease; late onset liver myconidis. I got tested to see if I'm a liver donor, and it turns out I'm a match, but so is _Carlos_. I _was_ going to stay in L.A. after Gustavo convinced me to stay, but then I saw a video on Scuttlebutter of James and Carlos saying that they love one another. I went to the hospital and went off on the both of them. I feel so betrayed, Jo. Why would they do that to me?" Logan asked, his body shaking with sobs.

Jo was speechless. When Logan said things were bad, she had no idea that they were _this_ bad. She didn't know what else to do but comfort Logan. Logan pulled away, sniffling.

"I'm glad you're here, Jo. Maybe you can help Kendall," Logan said.

"Kendall? What's wrong with Kendall?" Jo thought, immediately thinking the worst.

"He's changed, Jo. It's like no one even knows who he is anymore. He's never approved of my relationship with James, but it's gotten to the point where it has consumed him. When I fought with Carlos, he didn't even _do _anything! He just stood there and watched with a victorious smile on his face. I mean it probably had nothing to do with my friendship with Carlos ending; it probably had to do with my relationship with James ending, but still!"

Jo drew Logan into another hug.

"I'll talk to him," Jo stated.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight found Carlos in Kendall and Logan's room. He was frantically opening the closet doors, and dresser drawers.

"No! No! No! No!" Carlos said over and over again.

Mrs. Knight quickly walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Carlos, what's wrong?" she asked.

She could feel his body trembling. His small frame was rocked by one violent sob after another. He started to fall, but she tightened her hold on him, and kept him upright. She could hear his anguished cries.

"Where's his stuff? It's not here!" Carlos sobbed.

"Whose stuff?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Logan's!"

Mrs. Knight spun Carlos around so she could see his face. She immediately regretted doing so. There were myriad tear tracks all over his face. His eyes were red and puffy. His eyes, usually so full of life, showed nothing but a tremendous amount of hurt unlike anything Mrs. Knight has ever seen before.

"He didn't even say goodbye! Why wouldn't he say goodbye to me? Was it because he's mad at me? I hate that he's mad at me! I didn't even do anything wrong! Logan doesn't believe me though! Why doesn't he believe me? He was my best friend! No, he still _is_ my best friend, even if he doesn't feel the same way about me! Logie's my best friend, and he'll _always_ be my best friend! It hurts, Mama Knight! So much! Make it stop! _Please _make it stop!" Carlos pleaded.

Carlos collapsed into Mrs. Knight's motherly arms. He tilted his helmeted head back and bawled his eyes out. It pulled at Mrs. Knight's heartstrings seeing Carlos like this. He was so broken. So unbelievably broken. The _only_ person who could fix Carlos was probably getting on a plane right about now.

"Shh. Sweetie, you have to calm down," Mrs. Knight said tenderly.

"How can I calm down? He's gone, Mama Knight! Gone! Forever! I'm never gonna see him again!" Carlos wailed.

Mrs. Knight was at a loss. She had absolutely no idea what to do. Her own eyes filled with tears. All she could do was hold Carlos, console Carlos. She knew that it wasn't nearly enough though. Mrs. Knight felt like she had lost one of her babies, and if she couldn't fix Carlos, she would soon lose another.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Um…so you know that touching moment that I told some of you might happen in Chapter 30? It might not happen next chapter after all. 31 maybe? Lol. Sorry about that.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: This story is creeping up on "My Best Friend Is a Vampire" as my second most reviewed fic. It might even surpass it with this chapter. Although "My Best Friend Is a Vampire" has more reviews per chapter on average. Oh, and all of you people who are voting for "Doppelganger" on the poll in my profile page are horrible, horrible people. You actually WANT to read about Logan getting tortured? I know, I know. You're probably thinking, "You WANT to WRITE about Logan getting tortured?" Hey! Don't try to turn this around on me! I'm voting for nothing! I've banned myself from voting in my polls. Lol. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but if you are a BTR writer/producer, and you happen to be reading this, call me! ;)**

**Big Time Sick**

It was the night of the concert. Unlike all of Big Time Rush's other concerts, this one hadn't sold out. Everyone knew why too. Word of Logan getting kicked out of the band had traveled everywhere by now. Yeah, sure there were some loyal BTR followers that showed up anyways. There were also those BTR fans who were fans of the other boys: Kendall, James, and Carlos. There were even some Logan fans in attendance. However, there were also a lot of empty seats too, and guess whose fans _would have _occupied those seats?

The seating capacity at the venue was 10,000, and there were just over 5,000 concert tickets sold. Gustavo, Griffin, and the record company didn't like this. They didn't like this one bit.

Big Time Rush was slated to perform six of their songs: "Til I Forget About You," "City Is Ours," "Halfway There," "Any Kind of Guy," "Famous," and "Big Time Rush."

Their dress rehearsal had been earlier, and it was a disaster. From a choreographical standpoint, the boys bumped into one another too many times to count. They were out of sync. It was just a hot mess. From a vocal standpoint, there was pitchiness and uncertainty, and they didn't even sound like they had been doing this for over a year. Rather they sounded like they were a fledgling band who had barely begun to get their feet wet in the music scene.

Though the easiest thing would have been for one person to get all of Logan's parts, that's not what Gustavo decided to do. In "Til I Forget About You," all of Logan's parts went to James. In "City Is Ours," all of Logan's parts went to Carlos. In "Halfway There," all of Logan's parts went to Carlos. In "Any Kind of Guy," all of Logan's parts went to Kendall. In "Famous," all of Logan's parts went to Carlos. In "Big Time Rush," all of Logan's parts went to James.

XXXXX

James peeked through the blinds of their dressing room, watching as the seats started to fill up in the venue. Only he and Carlos were in the band's dressing room at the moment. Kendall was still in the backstage area somewhere…just not here.

"This isn't right," Carlos commented. "I can't believe we're actually going to perform a concert tonight as though Logan was never a part of the band. I mean everyone took his parts in all of the songs. Logan should be singing _his_ parts in the songs, not any of us!"

"Logan's not coming back!" James exclaimed, frightening Carlos by raising his voice. "It's been days now. None of us have heard from him. His cell phone number is no longer in service. He probably went and changed his number so we couldn't contact him. He isn't answering our e-mails. He didn't even say goodbye to any of us, Carlos! Remember that? Logan left us, Carlos. I've finally come to terms with that. Now it's time you did too!"

Carlos lowered his helmet over his eyes as he started to cry. Logan had said that Carlos wasn't supposed to wear his helmet at the dinner table, photo shoots, or interviews. Carlos was only keeping his word. Logan didn't say anything about concerts.

"Just great. Now you're crying. Quit your blubbering, Carlos! Your tears aren't going to bring Logan back!" James reprimanded.

This only made Carlos cry all the more though. James rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated groan, before going back to peeking through the blinds.

"I've been meaning to ask you, Carlos. What happened during dress rehearsal? You kept bumping into everybody. You couldn't find the pitch. If you ask me, I would say you weren't really trying. Need I remind you that this is my dream? We've never had a bad concert before, and we're not going to have one tonight just because you can't get your head in the game!" James remarked.

"I'm trying!" Carlos countered, sniffling.

"Well try harder!"

Carlos couldn't believe the way James was acting. He didn't understand it. James had been the only person who kept Carlos sane since Logan left. Carlos and James shared a common disdain for Kendall. Neither of them were on speaking terms with Kendall, but Kendall didn't seem to mind.

"Logan was right about you," Carlos said to James. "All you care about is your career!"

"You don't get it, Carlos. Singing is all I have. There's nothing else I'm good at. Logan's smart. Kendall's good at hockey. You'll probably end up being a cop like your dad. Where does that leave me? If this singing thing doesn't work out, at least you guys have something to fall back on. I have nothing," James responded.

Carlos walked over to James, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"That's not true, James. What about modeling?" Carlos asked.

"We're in L.A., Carlos! _Los Angeles_! Here, I'm not The Face, I'm a face!" James replied.

"Well what about acting then?"

"I've never taken any acting classes! Sure I got that part in Witches of Rodeo Drive, but I turned it down because I only got that part because I have great abs. It had nothing to do with my acting ability!"

This was news to Carlos. He had no idea that James booked his first role on his first try. He never told anyone.

"Well, it's not too late to start taking acting classes if that's what you want to do," Carlos pointed out.

"But it's _not_ what I want to do! I _want_ to be a singer, so don't mess this up for me, Carlos!" James exclaimed.

XXXXX

Kendall had the most ridiculous smile on his face. He couldn't believe his eyes. Jo came for the concert. Boy, was she a sight for sore eyes! Kendall ran over to her as soon as he saw her. He went to hug her. She swatted his hands away, not enabling the gesture. Then she pulled her hand back and slapped Kendall across the cheek.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" Jo shouted, furious.

"What are you talking about?" Kendall asked, massaging his cheek with his hand.

As quick as a viper, Jo struck again, slapping Kendall on his other cheek this time. Kendall had been slapped for a second time in a matter of seconds.

"Does _that_ jog your memory?" Jo remarked.

"Okay, ouch!" Kendall exclaimed, now massaging _both _cheeks with his hands.

Unfortunately, Jo hadn't been able to stop Logan from leaving Los Angeles. However, she did promise him that she would talk to Kendall. The whole reason she came back was to go to the Big Time Rush concert.

"Logan told me everything, you know," Jo stated.

"You saw Logan? Where? How was he? What did he say?" Kendall replied, his head perking up at the mere mentioning of Logan's name.

"My flight had landed just before Logan arrived at LAX. I bumped into him before he went through security."

Kendall deeply missed Logan. He was hurt that Logan didn't say goodbye to him either. Kendall just figured that he was the only person Logan was on decent terms with. James and Carlos weren't talking to him, and Kendall missed having someone to talk to.

"Do you love Logan?" Jo asked point blank.

"Gross! No! He's practically my little brother!" Kendall answered straight away.

"Are you sure about that? Because frankly, it sounds to me like you're acting the _exact _same way you did when you thought there was something going on between Jett and me!"

"How can you even compare the two? James is all wrong for Logan, Jo!"

"That's not your decision to make, Kendall! You know that Logan looks up to you! What is he supposed to think when he sees you acting like this? What kind of a role model does that make you?"

"I never _asked_ to be his role model, okay? You know what? I don't have to listen to this!"

Kendall turned to walk away, but Jo grabbed his arm.

"I'm not finished yet!" Jo said fiercely.

Kendall then rounded on Jo. She saw the fury in his eyes. Kendall was known for losing his cool from time to time, and when he did, it was scary to be around him.

"What right do you have to show up out of nowhere and lecture me? You didn't even try to keep in touch with me! With any of us!" Kendall yelled.

"And I live with that regret every single day," Jo said.

"What are you even doing here? Nobody invited you! Why don't you just go back to New Zealand and stay there? I'm over you!"

"Well I'm not over you! Damn it, Kendall! Snap out of it! If you keep pushing people away like you are, soon there won't be anyone left to push!"

"I didn't push Logan away, okay? _He _left! _He _didn't say goodbye to me!"

A solitary tear trickled down Kendall's left cheek. His hands were clenched into fists, and his whole body was shaking.

"And he'll come back. He will. But not if you continue to act like this," Jo commented.

XXXXX

As soon as Big Time Rush took the stage, a portion of the crowd erupted in a chorus of boos. The next thing they knew, a chant of "Logan" had started, and it was growing louder by the second.

Kendall, James, and Carlos tried not to let the crowd rattle them, but it was hard when it came to Logan's singing parts. Every time one of them would sing Logan's part, the audience would boo them at the top of their lungs. From there, things just snowballed.

They kept bumping into each other on stage, and not just Carlos either. They were either behind the track or ahead of it, but never on time. They were always just a little under pitch or a little above pitch, but they were never in tune. The longer this continued, the more audience members booed.

However, that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was when they forgot the lyrics. The music would play, and they would just stand there half-heartedly doing the choreography while their minds desperately tried to remember the lyrics. It was on these occasions that Kendall, James, and Carlos could _really _hear the audience's discontent.

Then something happened that almost never happened. The kind of thing you see happen on TV, in a movie, or on the news, but never in your wildest dreams did you ever expect to see it in person, to live it yourself.

Finally, mercifully, the concert was over. Big Time Rush had finished singing, if that's what you wanted to call it, their six songs. They were in the middle of saying good night to the crowd when it happened.

"Good night! Thank you for c-" Kendall started to say, but he never got to finish his sentence.

For at that moment, the stage collapsed, and all three members of Big Time Rush fell with it. The stage had been constructed over concrete pavement. It was a fairly large stage, typical for a venue of this size. It had to have been a twenty-foot drop to the unforgiving pavement below.

The audience forgot all about booing Big Time Rush. Instead terrified screams filled the night air. Chaos had broken loose. People were running for their lives. Parents shielded the eyes of their children. There was a horrendous crackling sound as the electrical equipment fell with the boys. For a time, no one could see anything but a huge cloud of dust kicked up by the debris. But when the dust had settled, all that could be seen was what little was left of the stage. Kendall, James, and Carlos were in there somewhere under the rubble. Nobody knew if any of them had survived this freak accident.

To Be Continued…


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: It's official; say hello to my second most reviewed fic. This is huge for me, guys! Like you guys don't even know how huge! I mean I thought I had lost my edge when it came to my writing. I thought I had plateaued. But I haven't, and none of this would have been possible without all of you, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**Big Time Sick**

"Excuse me, young man, but you can't go in there. It's not safe," a police officer said.

"I don't care! My friends are in there!" Logan exclaimed.

"I understand, but we're doing the best we can to find them."

"Oh really? Is _that _what you're doing by standing and talking to me?"

The police officer got in Logan's way after the teen had ducked underneath the yellow caution tape that circled off the wreckage.

"Do you even know who I am? I'm Logan Mitchell, the fourth member of Big Time Rush!" Logan said.

"That's funny; I thought you had been kicked out," the police officer commented.

Logan gave an unamused laugh. He started to cause a scene by starting a slow clap that got more obnoxious by the second.

"You're _so _funny! We've got a comedian here!" Logan shouted, garnering the attention of several onlookers. "I came here to help find _my _friends, and I'm not leaving until they're found!"

"We have our men and women on the case," the police officer pointed out, gesturing to the uniformed officers sifting through the rubble.

"Look, one extra person helping isn't going to hurt. Besides, I can't stand by and do _nothing_. So please let me help you."

The police officer reluctantly agreed to allow Logan to help search for the remaining members of Big Time Rush. He also joined the search. By now, the spectators were starting to realize that Logan was there. They were screaming his name, and reaching their hands out to him from the other side of the caution tape. His presence alone was enough to cause quite a stir.

Logan boarded the first flight out of Minnesota as soon as he saw what happened in the news. It had been eight hours since the stage had collapsed. Virtually the whole L.A.P.D. had shown up for the search effort, but even then, they still had been unable to find Kendall, James, or Carlos.

Logan felt a sharp pang of guilt. He should have been there with them at the concert. He never should have left them in the first place. When the story broke, the reporters had mentioned how the concert had been a disaster. It wouldn't have been had he been there. They had always performed together, so Logan could understand how difficult that must have been for them to do a concert without him. He couldn't help but think that he should be buried underneath the rubble dead or dying himself.

XXXXX

The sun had peeked its head over the horizon. Other than that though, it was still dark outside. The search continued for Kendall, James, and Carlos. The more time that elapsed, the more everyone in the search effort worried about what they might find. They tried not to think about that though; they tried to keep their minds on the task at hand.

"Carlos! James! Kendall!" Logan shouted at the top of his lungs, his voice already starting to grow hoarse from all the yelling he had been doing.

Logan heaved a particularly large wooden plank out of the way, giving himself splinters in the process, but Logan didn't care. It was nothing compared to the pain his friends were in right now…that is, if they could even still experience the sensation of pain.

Logan shook his head fiercely, tears falling onto the rubble beneath him. _No, I can't think like that!_ It was true what they say about times of crisis; they really do bring people together. All of the problems Logan had with Kendall, James, and Carlos had long since been forgotten. All that mattered was finding them. This accident had changed everything.

It was mind boggling how much wreckage there was to sift through. Had the stage been _that_ big? For the most part, everyone searched in silence. The only sounds that could be heard were Logan's desperate cries to his friends. That only gave them the fuel they needed to press on. Once the boys had been found, they could rest then.

"Guys…please…answer…me! I…can't…find…you…on…my…own!" Logan sobbed before his knees gave out on him, and he fell down on the pile of rubble he had been standing on.

His shoulders heaved up and down as sob after sob took its course. Logan held his hands up in front of the face and noticed for the first time how he couldn't get them to stop shaking no matter how hard he tried. He really couldn't see much of anything because he was crying so much.

"I'm sorry! I'm _so _sorry! You can hate me all you want once you're found, okay? And I _am _going to find you, okay? If it's the last thing I do! I can't lose you guys! You have to be okay! You just _have_ to be!" Logan shouted, hoping his friends could hear him.

Everyone's heart went out to Logan. Hearing him continue to talk to his friends no matter how hoarse his voice got really broke their hearts. No one had any idea what Logan could possibly be going through right about now. What Logan was saying to his friends was only the tip of the iceberg.

XXXXX

It was 8:37 a.m. It had been over ten hours since the stage had collapsed. A lot of people were starting to grow tired, having been searching throughout the night only to come up empty. Some officers were taking a break. Others somehow managed to drift off to sleep. Logan was the freshest out of all those involved in the rescue mission, for they refused to believe any of the boys would turn up dead.

Logan was worried about Kendall and Carlos, but he was most worried about James. After all, James had a diseased liver prior to the stage collapsing. There was no telling how detrimental a twenty-foot fall could be to his already failing organ. This whole ordeal made Logan realize something; he was still in love with James.

He just hoped that James would take him back. Though he wouldn't blame him if he didn't. It was no secret that Logan had trust issues when it came to James. However, having had some time to think about it, Logan thought it was entirely possible that he had accused James unjustly. All of Logan's friends would tease him about being gullible. He was gullible because he didn't question what people said to him; Logan trusted them. The only thing was that up until now, he couldn't even recall an occasion in recent memory when he trusted James.

But James wasn't to blame for that. Logan knew that now. He was. The moment he stopped trusting James was the moment he let himself be overcome by jealousy. That was the real common denominator here, wasn't it?

In a sea of black and brown, Logan could've sworn that he saw something more…flesh colored. Logan went in for a closer look. This could be it! This could be one of his friends! Logan felt a renewed sense of hope. Though it was blackened, whether from grime or burns Logan didn't know, but there was definitely a hand there.

Logan felt reinvigorated. He sifted through the rubble quicker than he had in a long while. He pinpointed his efforts to the rubble around what Logan presumed was a hand. When Logan tossed a wooden plank aside, Logan saw a forearm attached to the hand.

"I think I got something!" Logan called out.

Logan threw planks and debris through the air with reckless abandon. Soon, Logan had located the upper part of the arm. He sifted through more rubble, and could now spot a torso. Even more debris, and Logan had located a second arm.

Logan had concluded that the black stuff was dirt. He ran his finger along it, and it either came off or got smeared. He noticed the numerous cuts and bruises that covered practically every square inch of exposed skin Logan had stumbled upon.

Logan started to focus on the rubble just above where the torso was, and that's when Logan realized who he had found; James.

Logan was overcome by a fresh bout of tears. James eyes were closed. His neck was bent at an awkward angle. Logan was concerned that it could be broken. Even though he wanted to do nothing more but shake James until he woke, Logan knew that the best thing for James was that he wasn't moved until his neck had been stabilized.

"James!" Logan cried out. "I need some paramedics over here!"

Logan placed his ear against James' chest, and started to cry tears of joy. He had a heartbeat. James was alive. Ever the worry wart, Logan was naturally not satisfied with how strong James' heartbeat was, but at least he had one; at least he wasn't dead like Logan had feared.

Officers and paramedics had made their way over to Logan by now, and gently pushed him aside so they could tend to James. Logan turned his head to the clouds and mouthed two words: thank you.

XXXXX

An ambulance had taken James to the nearest hospital. His discovery lit a fire under everyone searching for the boys. It was enough to give them fresh hope. If James was alive, there was no more reason to believe that Kendall and Carlos weren't either.

As Logan continued to search for his other friends, officers would go up to him and offer their congratulations and their thanks. Logan was somewhat embarrassed by all the attention he was receiving. People he didn't even know were coming up to him and shaking his hand, patting him on the back, hugging him. They were saying things like he was a hero. Logan bashfully rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed.

Logan didn't think of himself as a hero. Even if he was, he wouldn't have needed to be one if he had just stayed in Los Angeles in the first place. Granted, Logan realized that had he stayed, people would be looking for him right about now, but Logan didn't seem to mind. He much rather have people looking for him than to be doing the looking. It's just there was so much uncertainty involved. It was so emotionally taxing.

Everyone was filthy. Their hands were caked with dirt. The color of their clothes was no longer recognizable. Not a single person didn't have grime on their face. Also, not a single person hadn't been without injury as they searched. Compared to the injuries that Kendall, James, and Carlos sustained, they were minor; but they were injuries nonetheless; splinters, scrapes, bruises, things of that nature.

Logan wondered how things went between Kendall and Jo. He and Jo had been keeping in touch, and the last he heard, she hadn't talked to Kendall yet. Kendall's relationship with Jo was the first serious relationship he had ever been in. His breakup with Jo was devastating. Logan remembered how Kendall didn't want to do anything afterwards except for lay around. He recalled how Kendall had told him, James, and Carlos how they didn't understand what he was going through.

Even if he tried, Logan couldn't forget how much Kendall had changed prior to Logan's leaving L.A. Logan looked up to all of his friends to some extent, but he looked up to Kendall more than anyone else. Of the four of them, Logan and Kendall were most alike. Part of it was because they just were, but the rest of it was _because_ Logan looked up to Kendall. He would often find himself modeling himself after Kendall. Logan would frequently ask himself, "_What would Kendall think? What would Kendall do? What would Kendall say?_" Even though it had seemed that he and Kendall were on the best terms before he left Los Angeles for Minnesota, it had been Kendall who Logan had been the most disappointed in.

Kendall would always give the rest of them pep talks about how they needed to stick together. Yet he was so quick to turn his back on James, and leave Carlos high and dry. It was very hypocritical of himself. Kendall didn't even do anything to stop Logan from leaving.

Logan lost his train of thought when he heard a groan come from somewhere to the left of him.

"Hello? Is someone there? You need to let me hear you so I know where you are!" Logan instructed.

Whoever it was groaned for a second time, but this time louder. It was hard not to notice the pain whoever it was felt.

Guided by the first groan, and then the second, Logan started trying to unveil the second survivor. One wooden plank happened to have a nail attached to it still, and when Logan went to grab it, the nail embedded itself in the palm of Logan's hand. Logan squeezed his eyes shut tightly in pain. He clenched his teeth together. He cradled his injured hand against his chest while continuing to dig with his uninjured hand.

Logan soon found himself gazing into a familiar set of green eyes. They happened to be glossed over, and its owner had a far off look on his face. Logan also noticed how Kendall's face was contorted in pain.

"Kendall!" Logan shouted, his heart leaping for joy.

"Logan, you came back. You're here," Kendall wheezed, a lopsided grin on his tired face.

Logan enveloped Kendall in a hug. The wooden plank attached to his injured hand clapping Kendall in the back.

"Shh! It's okay! You're okay!" Logan said blissfully.

"Uh…Logie? You have a piece of wood stuck to your hand," Kendall commented, before coughing.

Logan was so relieved that Kendall had been found. Unlike James, Kendall was talking to Logan; he was conscious.

"I need some paramedics over here!" Logan screamed at the top of his lungs, Kendall wincing at how hoarse Logan's voice was.

"Yeah, for you! That looks like it seriously hurts!" Kendall remarked gesturing with his head towards Logan's hand.

"It's fine."

Logan couldn't get over how Kendall gestured with his head instead of his hand. He suddenly wondered why Kendall wasn't trying to free Logan's hand himself. That's when he noticed how one of Kendall's shoulders had been dislocated. He was also cradling his other wrist against his chest; upon further inspection, Logan noticed how it hung limply.

Kendall had another coughing spell.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked, his eyes shining with concern.

"Better than I deserve to be," came Kendall's response.

"Kendall, don't say that!"

"It's true though! I've been so horrible to you, Logan. No wonder why you left. It wasn't just you that I've been awful to though. James and Carlos too. Where are they? Are they…."

Kendall craned his neck as he tried looking for his two other friends from where he lay. Logan could tell that Kendall was trying to be a tough guy. Other than his grimaces of pain, Kendall gave no other indication that he was in pain even though Logan knew that he _had_ to be.

"James is alive. He's already been taken to the hospital. He wasn't awake though," Logan answered.

"He's going to make it though, right? Logan, tell me that he will! Tell me that James will live!" Kendall said frantically.

Logan was surprised by Kendall's sudden concern for James, but at the same time he wasn't. You don't go through something like this without having it change you. Logan could clearly see that it had changed Kendall…for the better.

"I'm sure he's going to survive. It's his liver that I'm worried about," Logan responded.

"I'm…" Kendall said before taking a sharp intake of breath. "A blood match. You're the only one who knows. I hadn't told James or Carlos yet. They hadn't exactly been on speaking terms with me while you were gone, and understandably so."

Kendall couldn't figure out why Logan was crying all of a sudden. Little did he know that the mere mentioning of Carlos had thrown Logan off the handle. Not only did Logan feel absolutely horrible for how he had treated Carlos before he left L.A., but Carlos was also the only one who hadn't been found yet. For all Logan knew, Carlos could be…no! Logan refused to believe that!

XXXXX

An ambulance had taken Kendall to the nearest hospital, and the search continued for Carlos. It was a beautiful, sunny day in Los Angeles. The sky was as clear as could be, and a brilliant shade of light blue.

It was now noon, and no one had seen any trace of Carlos. That didn't stop them from looking though. As with James' discovery, Kendall's discovery had refreshed everyone involved.

"Carlos! Come on, buddy! Where are you?" Logan yelled.

His knees wobbled, and he was forced to hold on some metal supports that had somehow survived the stage collapse. Logan had lost his equilibrium. He was having a hard time catching his breath. There was a tightening in his chest.

_Breathe, Logan. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. There. Just like that. Now's not the time for you to lose it. Carlos needs to be found first._

Slowly, but surely, Logan started to calm his frayed nerves. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there on the verge of having a panic attack, but he knew that it had cost him precious time; time that he could have spent looking for Carlos instead.

Logan kept replaying the video footage of the stage collapse in his head; not because he enjoyed reliving that moment, but for strategic reasons. He walked over to where he had discovered James. He ripped off some fabric from the sleeve of his shirt with his teeth, and placed it at the spot where he had found James. Next, he went to the spot where he had found Kendall, and put some fabric there as well. If James and Kendall were there, then Carlos had to be…

Logan walked over to the debris where Carlos should be, and started digging at a fervent pace. The wooden plank attached to his hand was hindering him, so Logan finally yanked the nuisance out, ignoring the blood that now started to flow out of the gaping wound.

Seconds turned into minutes, and Logan still hadn't found anything. It didn't make any sense to him at all. Carlos should be here! He then felt something that wasn't debris. It felt hard and plastic. He cleared the area around it of rubble, and dug it out. It was Carlos' helmet.

At that moment, Logan could barely even stand. His vision clouded with tears. Carlos never went anywhere without his helmet. Even so, Logan couldn't believe that Carlos had worn it at the concert. Having said that, was Logan ever glad that he did. Carlos couldn't be far from where his helmet was.

"Carlos? Don't do this to me, buddy! Say something! Anything! I'll never be able to live with myself if…" Logan trailed off. He buried his face in his hands and cried, blood smearing all over his face. He suddenly had an idea. "I've got corn dogs!"

Still nothing. It was worth a shot though. Of course, Logan didn't _really _have corn dogs, but if anything were to lure Carlos out, it would be his favorite food. Logan lost his balance as some of the debris shifted out from underneath him. Logan fell to the ground, rubble digging into his dorsal side. Logan placed the palms of his hands down as he went to push himself up off the ground, but when he did, he grabbed onto a shoe.

Logan forgot about standing up, he settled for sitting up, sifting through the rubble where he sat. Logan had a wide smile on his face as he started to reveal more and more of Carlos, until he could see all of him.

The smile quickly turned upside down. There was a massive pool of blood beneath Carlos' unprotected head. One of his legs had folded under itself, and was bent at an awkward angle. His other ankle was shattered. His t-shirt was tattered, and Logan could see where something had burned through, leaving Carlos' exposed skin singed. Then there was Carlos' face. Ribbons of blood streaked his face so much that all Logan could see was red.

Logan turned away and retched. After he got to a point where he was only dry heaving, he turned his attention back to his childhood friend. He placed an ear to Carlos' chest, but unlike with James, Logan couldn't detect a heartbeat.

"Someone! Help! Get some EMTs over here, and bring the paddles!" Logan hollered, his voice cracking.

Logan was completely beside himself. A female paramedic held him in her arms as he cried like he had never cried before. She tried to turn Logan away from the sight, but Logan wouldn't allow it, and would only grow even more hysterical every time she tried.

Logan felt so helpless as he watched the paramedics try to defibrillate Carlos back to life. They had ripped what was left of his t-shirt open, and placed the paddles on his bare chest. Logan watched as Carlos' chest violently jerked upwards time and time again only to yield the same result.

"No! He's not dead! Keep trying! You have to save him!" Logan cried out hysterically.

The EMTs wanted to save Carlos too, but even they had to admit that it was looking bleak. It was a miracle that Logan had even found Carlos. But they wondered if the kid would have had a better chance had Logan or someone else had found him sooner.

"Carlos, don't you dare quit on me! Do you hear? Fight! I can't lose you! I won't lose you!" Logan shouted. He then was overcome with an overwhelming sadness as he suddenly remembered Carlos' ridiculous desire to be a superhero; El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man or something like that. "Besides, superheroes don't die!"

To Be Continued…


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: So recently, I've learned that I don't take criticism well, so if you are going to criticize my stories, please do so constructively. Like I honestly have nothing against constructive criticism. Just if you don't do it constructively, you're just criticizing me, and when I get criticized, I get defensive, and when I get defensive, I get confrontational. And when that happens, it probably won't be fun for you and it definitely won't be fun for me because I hate confrontations as I am not at all a confrontational person. I also care entirely too much what people think, so you know, there's that too…Just know that I am really sensitive, really emotional, and I tend to take things way too personally. Okay? Thanks! Bye!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm far too neurotic to own anything…**

**Big Time Sick**

Logan knocked softly on the door to Kendall's hospital room despite the door being open.

"May I come in?" Logan asked uncertainly.

Katie and Mrs. Knight were each sitting in a chair on one side of Kendall's hospital bed. The three Knights turned their heads to the door to look at Logan. Mrs. Knight got up out of her chair and walked over to Logan. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders, planting a kiss on the top of his head before walking him over to Kendall's bedside.

"Of course you can! Do you even need to ask? Thank you so much for saving my son's life!" Mama Knight said.

"Yeah, you're a hero!" Katie chimed in.

Logan bashfully rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks crimson.

"I don't know about that," Logan commented, staring at his feet.

Watching Logan squirm as a result of all the attention he was receiving brought a smile to Kendall's face. One of his arms was in a sling. His other wrist was in a black cast. He couldn't really feel any pain because of the meds he was on, but they also had a side effect of drowsiness. Almost on cue, Kendall let out a huge yawn.

"They're right, you know. If it wasn't for you, Logie, I would probably be dead right now. How _are_ James and Carlos?" Kendall inquired.

Logan absentmindedly fiddled with the bandages on his hand. He had been bouncing in and out of all three of his friends' hospital rooms not wanting to overstay his welcome in any of them. For the most part, his friends and their families looked at him with such adoration in their eyes, and it was more than Logan felt he deserved. They should hate him for having left L.A. in the first place. He should have been on the stage performing with Big Time Rush when it collapsed. It couldn't be easy for anyone to see Logan more or less without a scratch while Kendall, James, and Carlos came out of the incident worse for wear.

When Logan found Kendall in the rubble, he had told him that James was going to live. But that was then and this is now. Things could have changed. Kendall couldn't help but worry about James and Carlos. While Kendall had some idea how James was, he had _no _idea how Carlos was. Logan had found Kendall before he found Carlos. What if Logan had been unable to find Carlos? What if Carlos had died from the stage collapse?

"James is fine. He's awake. He's wearing a neck brace. The impact from the fall caused his liver condition to progress more rapidly. The doctors give him four weeks at most until his liver completely fails him," Logan announced, tears in his eyes and his voice.

Kendall couldn't believe his ears. He thought James had months, years even to live. According to Logan, James only had four _weeks_! That's hardly any time at all! Kendall felt absolutely sick to his stomach over how he had been treating James.

Kendall was a changed man. The stage collapse _wasn't_ his wake up call though. It had actually come _before_ that. Jo telling Kendall that if he continued to push people away, soon he would have no one left to push really got through to him. Unfortunately, Jo had to return to New Zealand. She had never intended on staying in Los Angeles for long; just long enough to see Big Time Rush's concert. She didn't leave before saying that Kendall, James, and Carlos would be in her prayers though.

"What about Carlos?" Kendall asked, afraid to even ask.

Logan's eyes glimmered with tears. "It's bad, Kendall. _Really_ bad. His left leg was broken in three different places. His right ankle was completely shattered. The doctors did an MRI, and there was brain damage. We won't know how severe of brain damage until Carlos wakes up, but that's the problem. When I discovered Carlos under all that wreckage, he didn't have a heartbeat. Even now, he's on life support, Kendall! Life support! James' liver may be _failing_ him, but Carlos' liver has already _failed_. I volunteered myself to be a liver donor for Carlos. We're both matches for James, and therefore, we're matches for one another as well."

Kendall gripped the railings of his hospital bed so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He was reeling from all the information Logan had just bombarded him with. Kendall had a hard time accepting the fact that Carlos, whose energy knew no bounds, was only being kept alive by a bunch of machines that did everything for Carlos that Carlos couldn't do for himself.

"Wait a second! You said that Carlos suffered brain damage. How is that even possible? He was wearing his helmet during the concert!" Kendall pointed out.

Logan shrugged his shoulders. "It must have come off during the stage collapse then because I actually discovered Carlos' helmet before I discovered Carlos," Logan answered.

Kendall felt so incredibly proud of Logan. He was willing to risk his life to save Carlos. At the same time, Kendall had _just_ got Logan back. He couldn't stand the thought of Logan possibly dying while under the knife. Kendall finally understood why James was adamantly opposed to any of them being liver donors. There was a chance that something could go wrong during surgery, and no matter how small that chance was, it was still a possibility.

However, Kendall understood _why_ Logan was doing what he was doing. He would have done the same thing for Carlos, but Logan just beat him to it. Kendall tried to remain optimistic, but it was just so unbelievably hard. What if neither Carlos nor Logan survived the operation? What if Kendall lost _both_ of them?

"Anyways, I should probably be going. I wanted to stop in and see James and Carlos before I have to be in the OR," Logan said, heading for the door.

Logan stopped in the doorway with his back to Kendall, Katie, and Mrs. Knight. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't worried about what _could_ happen. Logan knew the risks involved though, and not for one second did he regret his decision; not for one second did he have second thoughts.

"If something happens to me, I want you to know that I love you," Logan stated, his voice barely above a whisper because it pained him to say goodbyes.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. There wasn't a dry eye in the room after Logan had said that.

"Don't say that!" Kendall exclaimed.

"I think what my son _meant _to say was that we love you too. But he's right; you're going to be just fine. You'll see," Mama Knight said.

Katie, who was usually so opinionated, was rendered speechless. She buried her face in her mother's blouse, blowing her nose on her mom's sleeve.

"Maybe, but just in case," Logan responded before ducking out of the room.

XXXXX

James was so glad to have both of his parents with him. Granted they were sitting on opposite sides of his hospital bed, but the fact that they could put their differences aside to come together for him made James feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Even though James was sporting a bulky white neck brace, he was by no means paralyzed. Occasionally, James would wiggle his fingers and toes just to remind himself that he _wasn't_ paralyzed from the neck down or something like that.

When the stage collapsed, James' life literally flashed before his eyes. It changed the way James saw things. Having narrowly escaped the grim reaper, James now knew what mattered most, the ones who you love and who love you. It was a hard lesson learned, but one that James wouldn't soon forget.

The more James thought about Kendall and Carlos, the more James struggled to keep his composure. Sure James and Kendall had butted heads prior to the concert, but James was convinced that as horrible as this ordeal was, it would be what helped them find their way back to one another. As it was, James had no ill will towards Kendall. The three of them could have died! It really put things in perspective for James, and James realized that all the bickering between themselves had been petty in the grand scheme of things.

The first thing James wanted to do when he saw Carlos was apologize to him. Carlos was the most innocent thing ever, and James had no right reducing Carlos to tears. It took the stage collapsing for James to get that his career meant nothing if he didn't have his best friends with him right by his side.

"Is this a bad time? I can come back later if you want," Logan said from the doorway to James' hospital room.

James' eyes widened in shock, nearly tripling in size. He had a goofy grin on his face that was so big that it defied any anatomical possibility. Tears of joy leaked from the corners of his eyes.

"Logan? Is it really you?" James asked, his voice breaking.

Brooke Diamond beckoned Logan forward with her hand. He headed straight for James. He held James' hand in his as James placed it on Logan's cheek. James' hand explored the contours of Logan's face just to make sure this was real and he wasn't imagining things.

"It's good to see you too," Logan said, laughing light-heartedly.

James sighed contently. He missed hearing Logan's laugh. Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder was a freaking genius! James found Logan to be even hotter than the last time he had seen him. He missed those big brown eyes. He missed that dimpled smile. He missed that hair that was meticulously spiked, but only in the front. James just missed Logan, period.

As was the case with Kendall, James had been given pain killers too. Even if he hadn't though, James was far too happy to feel anything else.

"When did you get back?" James asked Logan.

"Sweetie, Logan is the one who found you. He saved your life," Brooke Diamond replied.

"It was more of a group effort really," Logan commented, quick to give the other men and women in uniform credit.

"Son, Logan's just being modest. He single-handedly saved you," Mr. Diamond commented.

James noticed how Logan did that thing he always did when he found himself the center of attention; he got all bashful. He wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, his cheeks became rosy, he rubbed the back of his neck. He would never understand why Logan wouldn't soak something like this up.

"How are you feeling, James?" Logan asked.

Yep. Changing the subject. That was par for course for Logan too.

"I'm a little sore, and I can't move my neck, but I'm just grateful to be alive. I owe it all to you, Logan," James stated.

"Stop it," Logan said, tears cascading down his face. "Everyone is giving me their thanks. I don't deserve their thanks; the only thing I deserve from everyone is their hatred. I just packed my suitcase and left without saying anyone to anybody. Don't you get it? I should have been up on the stage with you guys when it collapsed. I should have been hurt or worse!" Logan replied.

James placed one hand on Logan's shoulder. With his other hand, he took Logan's hand.

"I'm glad that you weren't on stage with us. I mean yeah it was the worst concert ever, and that had nothing to do with how terrible our singing was, how bad our dancing was, or how much the crowd booed us and chanted your name. It was the worst concert ever because you weren't with us; a part of us was missing; a really important part too. The one thing that gave me piece of mind when I was falling through the stage was knowing that you were safe," James explained.

"James…" Logan said, touched by James' words.

"I love you, Logan Mitchell. Frankly, I don't care who knows anymore. Coming out of the closet doesn't have to mean the end of my career. Celebrities have come out of the closet, and their careers are just as successful as they were when they weren't being honest about who they really were, if not even more successful. Whether or not my career is successful doesn't matter to me anymore. All that matters to me is you."

"Do you really…mean that?"

"Every single word."

James was surprised when Logan leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. His lips were soft, and the kiss was tender. James saw the loving look in Logan's eyes as he drew his head back. His heart fluttered in his chest.

"I love you too, James Diamond," Logan said.

James figured as much, but still it felt so good to hear him utter those words. It took him almost dying for them to find their way back to one another, but James was okay with that because now they were right back where they belonged; with each other.

Brooke Diamond put a hand over her chest, and went, 'Aww!' Young love was a wonderful thing, and she was glad that her son had found it. As long as he was happy, she was happy, and she could see now that Logan made her son happy.

However, James' father was another story. He scooted his chair back, the legs scraping against the floor, inadvertently drawing attention to himself. He felt three sets of eyes on him as he left his son's hospital room without looking back once. Mr. Diamond had always seen James as a younger version of himself. It was from him that James got his flirtatious, womanizing ways. But his son was gay. He had no clue how to even deal with that. He didn't _want_ to deal with that, so he left the room.

"I'd hate to cut this short, but I need to go see Carlos before my surgery," Logan said.

James was overcome by fresh panic.

"Surgery? What are you having surgery for? Is something the matter?" James asked, horrified.

Logan shook his head, much to James' relief.

"With me, no. I'm donating my liver to Carlos. His has failed him. He's on life support, James. One of his legs is broken and the ankle on his other foot is as well. He suffered head trauma from the fall, and the doctors say there will be brain damage," Logan explained, his face grim.

James clutched at his heart. He was having a difficult time breathing. How could this have happened? James just figured because he was alive that Kendall and Carlos had survived as well. He hoped they had been better off than him too, but he couldn't have been more wrong. James was scared that Carlos' last memory of him was the two of them fighting.

"And Kendall?" James asked, worried.

"He's fine, James. He's awake. One of his shoulders was dislocated, so the doctors popped it back into place and put his arm in a sling. The wrist on his other arm is in a cast," Logan answered.

Logan left James' hospital room, but not before giving James a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He didn't want to say goodbye to James. All that mattered was that James knew he loved him.

XXXXX

When Logan reached Carlos' hospital room, his heart broke at the sight. Officer Garcia was holding his wife in his arms as she cried a seemingly never-ending stream of tears. Her eyes were glued to the lifeless form of her son, afraid that she would miss something if she looked away even for a second.

"Hi," Logan said meekly.

Mr. and Mrs. Garcia looked over at Logan.

"Logan, come in. Maybe hearing your voice is just what will bring my boy back to us," Officer Garcia commented.

Logan thought that was doubtful, but he kept his thoughts to himself. He wasn't even sure if Carlos wanted to hear anything Logan said. Logan's biggest regret was not believing James and Carlos when they said nothing happened between them. If Officer Garcia thought Logan talking to Carlos would work, Logan was willing to give it a shot. He owed the Garcias that much. He walked over to the side of Carlos' hospital bed opposite Carlos' parents.

"It's me, Logan. I don't know if you can hear me, buddy, but I'm the one who found you. That's right. I called you my buddy. I still consider you my best friend even if you no longer feel the same way about me, and if you don't, I deserve it after how much of a jerk I was to you. I should have believed you, Carlos! You've never lied to me before, and so I should have known that you weren't lying! But I didn't, and I didn't because I'm an idiot!" Logan said getting more and more emotionally distraught as time went on.

"That's enough, Logan! Carlos forgives you. I know my son, and I know that he forgives you," Officer Garcia interjected.

"But I don't _deserve_ Carlos' forgiveness!"

"That's the funny thing about forgiveness, Logan. Whether or not you think you deserve it, people give it to you regardless."

Logan noticed the way Sylvia Garcia, Carlos' mother, wouldn't even look at him, and he honestly couldn't blame her. It was clear that she hadn't forgiven Logan for the heartache he caused her son. Logan thought she had the right idea.

"I don't want you to worry about Kendall and James, Carlos. They're fine. They're injured, but they're alive," Logan said. _Unlike you_.

Logan couldn't get over how weird it was for him to be talking to Carlos when Carlos probably couldn't even hear a single word he was saying. It was almost like talking to a wall or something. Logan would give anything just for Carlos to open his eyes. It wasn't fair! Why did this have to happen to Carlos of all people?

Logan went to hug Carlos when Sylvia leapt over Carlos' bed, launching herself at Logan, tackling him to the floor.

"Don't you _dare_ touch _my _son! Do you hear me? I want you out of here! I want you gone! You're not welcome here! You're going to make my Carlos better! But then I really hope you die in surgery because it couldn't happen to a more deserving person!" Carlos' mom screamed in Logan's face.

Officer Garcia quickly made his way over to the other side of Carlos' hospital bed, and pulled his squirming wife off a frightened Logan, who scooted away from Sylvia on his butt, his eyes wide with fear.

"Honey, that's enough," Officer Garcia whispered in his wife's ear, kissing her neck.

Logan scampered to his feet, and scrambled out of the room.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Logan said as he left.

Logan couldn't get away from Carlos' mother fast enough. As he was racing through the halls, he thought about how right she had been. Logan _deserved_ to die in surgery. Him dying to save Carlos wouldn't come close to rectifying things, not by a long shot, but Mrs. Garcia was right to not want him anywhere near Carlos. A friendship with Logan was a toxic one; all he did was bring pain and suffering to those around him.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Just for clarification, the touching thing that I originally said would happen in Chapter 30, then in Chapter 31 actually ended up being in this chapter instead. In case you don't know what I'm referring to, it was Logan's reunion with James.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely everything, and by "everything" I really mean nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Carlos shielded his eyes with his hands as he cracked them open. The bright white light bombarded his retinas, forcing him to immediately close his eyes. He slowly, cautiously opened one eye first. After letting that eye adjust, he then tentatively opened his other eye.

On one side of his hospital bed, he saw his parents. On the other side of his hospital bed, he saw Kendall and James. As he scanned the room, he noticed that he was missing a visitor.

"Where's Logan?" Carlos asked with a raspy voice.

Carlos couldn't remember what Logan had said to him, but he could have sworn that Logan was talking to him earlier. He thought he heard his parents talking too. If Logan had been talking to him, then where was he now?

Carlos' dad reached over and held his son's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Carlos noticed his mother hang her head for some unknown reason. He then looked over at James and Kendall who traded looks with one another. What was going on? Why wasn't anyone answering him?

For the first time since he woke up, Carlos noticed that he couldn't move one of his legs because there was something big and bulky on it. His eyes widened with panic, and a deep frown formed on his face.

James gently placed the palm of his hand on Carlos' chest, holding him down. Carlos saw for the first time that James was wearing a neck brace. Suddenly, Carlos remembered the stage collapsing during their concert. He then turned his attention to Kendall and saw that one of his arms was in a sling, and the wrist on his other hand was in a cast. Based on the fact that he couldn't move one of his legs, Carlos deduced that his leg was broken. Now that he thought about it, it felt like there was something on his other ankle. He tried to rotate his ankle, and found that he couldn't. Fresh, hot tears fell from his eyes.

"Hey, you're okay, Carlos. You're going to be okay," Kendall told him.

Carlos looked at his father. His Papi wouldn't lie to him.

"Is Logie okay too? I _know_ he was talking to me earlier! It wasn't a dream! He was really here!" Carlos exclaimed, getting agitated.

"Son, you're going to have to take it easy or else the doctors will have to give you a sedative," Officer Garcia said.

"Where is he? Where's Logie? Why isn't anyone answering me?"

XXXXX

Joanna Mitchell was in the waiting room. She had her face buried in her hands as she wept. Her son had been taken to the OR over eight hours ago. Dr. Summers had informed her that the surgery was only supposed to take at most four hours. Mrs. Mitchell couldn't help but think the worst.

She wasn't alone in the waiting room though. Brooke Diamond, Jennifer Knight, and Jennifer's daughter, Katie, were with her. Mr. Diamond had long since left the hospital. No one really knew where he went. He wasn't picking up his phone.

"Why haven't we heard anything? It's been eight hours! It should have only taken four! I can't lose him! Not my Hortense!" Mrs. Mitchell wept.

Brooke Diamond placed a hand on her shoulder, and Jennifer Knight took one of her hands in hers.

"I'm sure Logan's going to be just fine," Mrs. Diamond said.

"Yeah, he's a fighter," Mrs. Knight added.

For the life of her, Joanna couldn't understand why people said that. She knew her son, and he was no fighter. He was more of a pacifist. Granted, that wasn't _exactly _what they were talking about, but still, Logan never had to fight for his life like this before. What if it turned out that he _wasn't_ a fighter?

The last memory Katie had of Logan was him saying goodbye to her, her brother, and her mother. Did he somehow know that he wasn't going to survive the surgery? Or was he just trying to cover all his bases? She was scared. Yeah, Kendall, James, and Carlos had to go on without Logan when he had left L.A., but at least they knew he was still alive. She shuddered to think how different it would be if they had to go on without Logan because he was…_dead_.

Almost as though she could read Katie's mind, Mrs. Knight took her other hand, and held one of Katie's, squeezing it.

"He's not dead, Katie. He has too much to live for. He has too many people waiting for him to come back to them," Mrs. Knight stated.

Joanna remembered when Logan had decided to go back to Los Angeles. No one had to say anything to him because he had already made up his mind. After seeing the news, he knew that his friends needed him; that he needed to be there for them. She was so proud of him for prior to that, she had been trying to convince him to go back, but to no avail.

There was the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Mrs. Mitchell?" Dr. Summers said, appearing in the waiting room.

XXXXX

"Carlos, your liver wasn't working, so Logan gave you his; well, the majority of his at least. I think Dr. Summers said they took seventy percent of it," Carlos' dad explained.

"But he's okay now, right?" Carlos asked, remembering how there was a small chance that an organ donor could die.

James rubbed Carlos' arm up and down.

"We don't know, buddy. We're still waiting," James said.

James had never felt so fragile before in his life. He was trying to be strong for Carlos, but inside, his heart was shattering. His last memory of Logan had been of Logan giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. James had a horrible thought. Was that Logan's way of saying goodbye to him? James suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

"Carlos, Logan loves you. So much. He's risked his life to save yours twice now," Kendall commented.

This was news to Carlos.

"Twice? What do you mean twice?" Carlos questioned.

"Son, after the stage collapsed, Logan was the one who found you," Carlos' dad replied.

"He was?"

Officer Garcia held his son's head to his chest as Carlos cried. He was alarmed when Carlos lifted his head up and began searching the room for someone.

"Where's Logan? He was talking to me earlier!" Carlos remarked.

Initially, everyone in the room was confused by Carlos' behavior, but that confusion quickly turned into alarm. The doctors said Carlos had brain damage, but they didn't know how severe until Carlos woke up. Everyone in the room had their hearts broken. Of course they couldn't be fortunate enough to have Carlos be one hundred percent.

"He's in surgery," Kendall answered, his voice wavering.

"Surgery? What is he having surgery for?" Carlos asked. "Does Camille know?"

"Camille?" James replied.

"Yeah! She's Logie's girlfriend!"

James had seen and heard enough. He left Carlos' hospital room before anyone had a chance to see him completely lose it. Kendall quickly took off after an extremely distraught James.

"Was it something I said?" Carlos asked.

XXXXX

Joanna Mitchell rose to her feet. She was a bit unsteady on her feet, but Jennifer and Brooke were on their feet as well, and helped keep their friend upright.

"What happened? You said it would only take four hours!" Mrs. Mitchell cried out.

"There were some complications during the procedure," Dr. Summers said.

"Complications?"

"But your son's fine now. He's being taken to a recovery room."

Mrs. Mitchell breathed a huge sigh of relief, and she wasn't the only one either. She startled Dr. Summers when she embraced her.

"Thank you! Thank you so much for not letting my son die!" Joanna exclaimed, tears of joy rolling down her face.

"You're very welcome," Dr. Summers responded.

"You said there were complications. What kinds of complications?" Mrs. Knight asked.

Mrs. Mitchell stopped embracing Dr. Summers and listened with rapt attention.

"The removal of the right lobe of Logan's liver took four hours according to plan, but then we ran into a bit of a roadblock; we couldn't get Logan to stop bleeding. That's why it took longer," Dr. Summers answered.

"But you _were_ able to stop the bleeding, right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, we were."

"What about Logan's recovery? How long until he's as good as new?" Jennifer Knight asked.

"He should make a full recovery in two to three months," Dr. Summers answered.

Joanna Garcia had let out a sob. She didn't figure it would take Logan so long to make a full recovery. She thought maybe a week or two. She realized that this was a major surgery, but still she couldn't stand the thought of her son being incapacitated for such a long time.

"Is there anything we should look out for where Logan's concerned?" Mrs. Knight asked, seeing how Logan would be staying with her under her guardianship.

"Yes, we need to make sure Logan doesn't develop an infection. We also need to be careful that the incision doesn't bleed. Baths are fine, but I wouldn't recommend Logan take showers. Also, make sure that Logan doesn't scrub the incision. It's probably going to be very tender and cause him some pain, but I'll give him a prescription for some painkillers to help with that. Just make sure to follow the dosage," Dr. Summers said.

"Thank you, doctor," Joanna said, hugging Dr. Summers again.

XXXXX

Kendall caught up to James in the hospital parking lot.

"James, stop. Where are you going?" Kendall called out.

"I don't know. Anywhere but here!" James shouted back, before his knees buckled.

Kendall gathered James in his arms as best as he could as James cried. Seeing James cry nearly brought Kendall to tears himself, but he tried to remain strong. He was the leader. Someone had to be the rock for everyone else.

"I can't stand seeing Carlos like that!" James exclaimed.

"I know. Me neither," Kendall replied.

James didn't know how much more of this he could take. It was just too much. They didn't know how Logan was doing or if he was even alive. Carlos' memory was all screwed up. He doesn't remember anything you just told him. He also seems to be stuck in the past.

"This is my fault, you know," James said.

"James, stop it. It's not your fault," Kendall responded.

"Yes it is! If I didn't have a stupid dream of becoming a pop star, none of us would have ever come here! Carlos would be fine! Logan would be fine! We'd all be fine!"

Kendall shook his head.

"No, James. You're wrong. If anyone's to blame, it's me. Gustavo wanted me. I was the one who brought you, Carlos, and Logan along. If I had never done that…" Kendall trailed off.

"Yeah, but you only did it to help make _my _dream come true! So see? It's still _my _fault!" James countered.

Both boys fell silent, lost in their own misery.

"I'm sorry for being such a horrible friend to you, James. I promise that I'll back off. Believe it or not, I'm actually happy for you guys; _both_ of you," Kendall said.

James looked at Kendall in disbelief, wincing when he moved his neck the slightest bit.

"Thanks, Kendall. That means a lot to me. But you weren't the only one at fault. I think all of us in some way were jerks to each other…except for Carlos," James stated, before losing his composure all over again.

"Yeah, I can't believe it took us all nearly dying for us to realize it," Kendall commented.

Kendall left out the part about him realizing it before the concert even started. It didn't really matter all that much. They all learned the error of their ways. That's all that mattered. At least that's all that should matter.

"James?" Kendall said.

"Yeah, Kendall?" James replied.

Kendall let go of James so that he could look him straight in the face so he could see James' reaction when he was going to tell him what he was about to tell him.

"You know how I got tested too? Well, I'm a match. Logan donated his liver to Carlos, so neither of them can be a donor for you anymore, but I still can, and I want to too. James, I know I haven't always shown it, and I probably haven't said it as much as I should, but you have to know that you're one of my best friends, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you," Kendall said.

James placed a hand over his heart, deeply touched by Kendall's words.

"Thank you, Kendall. I feel the same way about you. I know you and I butt heads a lot, but I still consider you one of my best friends too. It's just…" James trailed off.

Kendall placed a hand on James' shoulder. He cringed as the gesture caused pain to shoot up his arm.

"It's just what?" Kendall asked.

James gestured with his hands back to the hospital.

"You saw what can happen. I mean Logan…I don't want to risk your life like that," James said.

Katie joined the two boys out in the parking lot. She had been sent to find them, and she had been looking everywhere for them.

"There you guys are! Come back inside! Logan's alive!" Katie announced.

James and Kendall couldn't have heard two sweeter words.

To Be Continued…


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: The plan is for me to finish up all my In-Progress stories by the end of the year, and start 2012 with completely new fics. That's the plan, but it probably won't happen. Lol. That also means me finishing In the Beginning, No Way Out, and What If by the end of December, and yeah…that's a lot of writing. At this rate, I can knock out Big Time Sick and In the Beginning by the end of December. Maybe I can knock out No Way Out; it only has eight chapters left. What If is what concerns me. That has 32 drabbles to go…Granted, they are just drabbles, but still…Anyways, new fics will be coming from me in 2012. That much I promise you. So keep on voting in the poll on my profile page to determine what fic I'm going to kick off 2012 with. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Maybe someone can get me partial ownership of Big Time Rush for Christmas though…lol. **

**Big Time Sick**

"Can I go see Logie now?" Carlos whined.

"For the last time, Carlos, I said _no_!" Sylvia Garcia snapped back, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

She was trying to be patient with her son, but it was just so hard. He would ask something, and a few seconds later, he would ask it again thinking he was asking it for the first time. It wasn't that she was mad at her son; it wasn't his fault his short-term memory wasn't working properly. It was just frustrating. That's all.

"You don't have to yell at me," Carlos muttered.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. It's just it isn't fair. Kendall, James, and Logan are still themselves, but you're…_different_," Carlos' mom said, lowering her voice.

Carlos reached over and took his mother's hand in his. He smiled brightly at her, already having forgotten that she had just yelled at him.

"No, I'm not, Mama. I'm still me. I'm still Carlos," Carlos responded.

Mrs. Garcia lost it. She broke down and started crying. Her son didn't even think there was anything wrong with him when there clearly was. His blissful ignorance was devastating to her.

"Don't cry, Mama," Carlos said, wiping a tear on his mom's cheek away with his thumb.

Officer Garcia had went to go see Logan after he had received word that he was being taken to a recovery room. Mrs. Garcia couldn't be bothered to go. No one even invited her anyways after hearing about the incident with Logan before his surgery. That was perfectly fine with Sylvia though.

"Can I go see Logan?" Carlos asked.

XXXXX

Officer Garcia, Brooke Diamond, Jennifer Knight, Katie Knight, Kendall Knight, James Diamond, and Joanna Mitchell were in Logan's hospital room to see him. The adults were on one side of Logan's hospital bed while the children were on the other.

Dr. Worthington happened to be passing by when he saw the crowd that had gathered in Logan's hospital room.

"I'm sorry, but there are too many of you in here. Some of you need to leave now. He should only have two visitors at a time," he said.

"You? Sorry? Like you even know what it means to be sorry," Kendall muttered under his breath.

James and Katie snickered. Even the adults cracked a smile at Kendall's remark. Dr. Worthington didn't look too amused though.

"I said it was okay," Dr. Summers said. "After all, Logan is _my _patient."

"I'm just saying that they shouldn't crowd Logan. It might be too overwhelming for him," Dr. Worthington stated.

"What difference does it make? He's _sleeping_!"

"I'm just reminding _someone_ of hospital protocol!"

"Well, maybe _someone_ should worry about his own patients, and I'll worry about mine!"

Dr. Worthington was at a complete loss. He wasn't used to people standing up to him, and he certainly wasn't used to people getting the better of him. He convinced himself that Dr. Summers just got lucky. He left without saying another word, steam practically coming out of his ears. James waved bye to him, smirking all the while.

"I'll be right down the hall if you need me," Dr. Summers said before quietly excusing herself.

Logan looked so peaceful laying there in his hospital bed. It somehow made him look smaller and years younger. He looked so innocent and vulnerable, bringing out everyone's protective instincts.

Even though Kendall had proof that Logan was okay right in front of him, he kept thinking about how close they had come to losing Logan. If Dr. Summers hadn't been able to stop the bleeding…They always teased Logan about being so scared of everything, but he didn't hesitate at all when it came to putting his life on the line to save Carlos. Kendall just wished that Logan woke up so he could tell him that.

James felt like a part of him was missing; his better half. Logan completed him. Logan made James a better person. At the very least, he made him want to be a better person. James knew he had his glaring flaws, but Logan didn't seem to mind; Logan still loved him regardless. Logan _loved _him. James still couldn't get over that. Even after everything they've been through, Logan loved him. And James loved Logan too; more than James loved himself, and James did love himself a lot.

Katie had always thought that Big Time Rush was nothing without James, but after seeing what essentially were three of her four big brothers bomb at their concert, she was starting to question that. Maybe Big Time Rush was nothing without Logan. Or maybe Big Time Rush was nothing unless it was the four of them together as it should be. Katie was filled with regret. She didn't spend as much time with Logan as she did with James and Carlos. She didn't want Logan to think that she didn't care about him as much as Kendall, James, and Carlos because that couldn't be further from the truth. She loved all four of them equally. She just realized that she hadn't always shown that, but she vowed that things would be different from now on.

Mrs. Knight knew that the worst of it was over. Logan had survived the surgery. He had a long road of recovery ahead of him, but he wouldn't have to do it alone. He would be surrounded by people who love him and are willing to help him every step of the way. Mrs. Knight couldn't be more proud of Logan. He had went above and beyond to help his friends; _all_ of his friends. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how ironic it was that out of the four boys, the one who seemed the most different when compared to the other three, the one that seemed like he didn't quite fit in, was the one that was central to their friendship. Mrs. Knight had witnessed that firsthand. When Logan had left, the other three pretty much fell apart.

Mrs. Diamond was so relieved to hear that Logan would be okay. She saw the way her son looked at Logan even when he was still out from all the anesthesia he had been given. Even growing up, James and Logan had been really close. She remembered how James would have at least one of his friends spend the night virtually every weekend growing up. Sometimes, James would even have Kendall, Carlos, and Logan over depending on what plans they had. The boys rotated whose house they spent the night at, but the point was that Logan had been over so much that she had really got to know and care for the boy over the years.

Officer Garcia felt like he owed Logan his life. Had it not been for him, Carlos would more than likely still be on life support or worse. Carlos and Logan had always had a really strong bond with one another. When Officer Garcia thought about it, that would probably explain why Carlos got so upset by Logan's absence. But it wasn't just Carlos that had a strong bond with Logan; James and Kendall did too. Anyone who got to know Logan was fond of him, and Officer Garcia was no exception.

Logan's mom's eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying nonstop ever since Logan had been taken in for surgery. Worried couldn't even begin to describe how she felt as she waited to hear news. Now though she was crying tears of joy. Logan was her pride and joy. Logan was her everything. She had come so close to losing him too. She didn't know what she would have done without him, but she thanked her lucky stars that she would never have to find out.

XXXXX

"Mama, why don't you like Logan?" Carlos asked innocently.

Sylvia was caught off guard by her son's question. As messed up as it was, she thought that because Carlos' memory was all screwy, he would forget all about that. She also didn't think she was being that transparent, but apparently she was.

"What makes you say that, Carlitos?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"Because whenever I say his name, your face gets all scrunched up and your eyes get all squinty," Carlos answered.

Carlos' mom had no idea how to explain to her son how much heartache Logan had caused him when he left Los Angeles for his own selfish reasons. That had been the most broken up Sylvia had _ever_ seen her son. People might hate her, but she was only trying to protect Carlos from ever having to endure such heartache at the hands of Logan again.

"That's not true," Sylvia lied through her teeth.

"Yes it is. Logan. See? Your face just did it again!" Carlos exclaimed, pointing.

Carlos' mother quickly removed the expression from her face, making it carefully blank instead.

"But Logie saved my life. Aren't you grateful to him for that?" Carlos inquired.

"Of course I am, honey, but…" Sylvia trailed off.

"But what?"

"Don't you remember how sad it made you when he left?"

"Silly. Logie never left us. He's been with us in L.A. the whole time!"

Sylvia Garcia broke down in tears. Her son had no memory of that at all. Of course he wouldn't be mad at Logan. He didn't even remember Logan doing anything wrong.

"What did I say?" Carlos questioned. "I didn't mean to make you sad, Mama."

Carlos didn't like seeing his mother cry. He couldn't figure out why she was so sad. He also didn't understand why she was mad at Logan for some reason. It made him sad though. He hated it when people fought.

Sylvia gathered her son in her arms, kissing him on the forehead before resting her chin on the top of his head.

"Whatever Logie did to make you mad at him, you need to forgive him, Mama. Please? For me?" Carlos asked, pulling away to look up at his mother.

Carlos had always been the most innocent thing ever, but ever since the accident, he had somehow become even _more_ innocent. Sylvia Garcia had no idea that was even possible.

"We'll see, Carlos. We'll see," Mrs. Garcia said, kissing the top of her son's head.

XXXXX

Logan's eyes flew open and he sat ramrod straight, surprising everyone else in the room. Joanna Mitchell gently pushed her son down so that he was back in a reclining position.

"Where's Carlos? Is he okay?" Logan said frantically.

"He's fine. Just take it easy, Logan," Officer Garcia said.

Logan looked around the room and saw the way everyone was looking at him; like he was some kind of hero or something. He hated it. Didn't they remember what he did? One good deed hardly absolves his sins.

"Stop it! Stop looking at me like that!" Logan shouted.

"Like what?" Kendall asked.

Kendall and James traded worried looks with one another when Kendall turned to face James. Everyone in the room was alarmed by Logan's behavior.

"You all should hate me like your wife does!" Logan remarked, looking at Officer Garcia.

"My wife doesn't _hate_ you," Mr. Garcia said slowly and calmly.

Logan scoffed.

"Are you kidding me? She hoped I died in surgery!" Logan retorted.

Joanna Mitchell embraced her son as fresh, hot tears leaked from his eyes. His body shook with sobs, and he hid his face from everyone in the room.

The truth of the matter was this was all wrong. Logan had hoped that he would die in surgery too. Having to endure all of this was worse than dying in Logan's mind. Having everyone idolize him when he didn't deserve it. Having everyone pretend like he hadn't caused them such heartache. Logan couldn't take it. They forgave him apparently even though Logan felt like he didn't deserve their forgiveness.

"She was just worried about Carlos, but now that he's fine…" Officer Garcia started to say.

"I want to see him! I want to see Carlos!" Logan yelled.

He squirmed out of his mother's embrace, and started trying to climb out of his hospital bed. Officer Garcia and James immediately grabbed hold of Logan and tried to wrestle him back down, but it was easier said than done. Logan was bound and determined to go see Carlos right now.

Mrs. Knight pushed the call button. She was no doctor, but she was sure that Logan shouldn't be getting agitated like this after just coming out of surgery. What if his sudden movements reopened his incision?

"Logan, calm down," Officer Garcia said gently.

"You can see Carlos. Just not right now. You just came out of surgery, Logan," James said.

Honestly, James was kind of hurt that the only person Logan seemed to care about right now was Carlos. Did the surgery change how Logan felt about James? Did Logan not love him anymore? He hadn't said so much as a word to James so far. Did he even know he was there?

"No! I want to see him now! Let me see him now! Carlos? Carlos!" Logan screamed at the top of his lungs.

Dr. Summers and some nurses came rushing into the hospital room. The nurses helped hold Logan still as Dr. Summers administered a sedative into Logan's arm. The effect was instantaneous. Logan's eyelids drooped, and soon he was lying perfectly still in a peaceful slumber.

"Get some restraints," Dr. Summers said to one of the nurses.

"Restraints?" Kendall replied incredulously.

"Doctor, is that really necessary?" Mrs. Knight asked.

Joanna Mitchell placed her body over her son as if that would protect him. Everyone else in the room oriented themselves protectively around Logan. This didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Summers.

"It's for his own benefit. We can't have him tearing open his incision," Dr. Summers said, frowning.

"But he's unconscious now! Surely he doesn't need to be restrained while he's sleeping!" Officer Garcia remarked.

"What about when he wakes up, huh? What then? No, it's best if we restrain him now. It's a precautionary measure really."

James was at a loss for words. Here he thought Dr. Summers was a _nice_ doctor. Here he thought she actually gave a damn about Logan. Now she seemed no better than Dr. Worthington! He glared daggers at Dr. Summers, hoping that she noticed too.

The nurse reentered Logan's hospital room with restraints in tow.

"You all have two choices. Either you let us restrain Logan and you can stay or you can leave the room," Dr. Summers said.

James was the first one to get up out of his seat and leave the room, jostling past Dr. Summers on his way out. Kendall was next. Then Officer Garcia. Then Mrs. Knight, followed by Katie. Then James' mom. Finally, in a display of solidarity, Logan's mother left the room too.

"I'm sorry, Logan," Dr. Summers said, a solitary tear trickling down her cheek as she applied the shackles.

To Be Continued…


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Miss Fenway because she asked for a Cargan bromance chapter/Cargan reunion. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Big Time Sick**

Officer Garcia had just finished helping Carlos into a wheelchair. He was going to take Carlos to go see Logan. Sylvia was adamantly against the idea, and it was starting to cause friction between the husband and wife.

"Carlos wants to see Logan, and Logan wants to see Carlos," Officer Garcia reasoned.

"Yeah, Mama. Can I go? Please?" Carlos asked, turning towards his mother and giving her a puppy dog look.

As soon as she saw the look her son was giving her, her resolve started to weaken. Carlos was her baby boy, and all it took was him giving her a look like that, and he would get whatever it was that he wanted.

"Fine, but I'm not coming. I have no desire to see Logan," Mrs. Garcia stated.

Carlos frowned. He still didn't understand why his mother didn't like Logan anymore. She acted like he had done something unforgivable or something. Carlos thought the idea was pretty ridiculous.

Officer Garcia rolled Carlos out of his hospital room without saying anything to his wife. He didn't even kiss her like he normally does when the two of them are about to be separated from one another. He always believed adults should lead by example. Having said that, he felt like his wife was setting a horrible example for Carlos.

Officer Garcia may not have said anything to his wife while they were leaving, but Carlos did.

"Bye, Mama. I'll see you later, okay? Love you," Carlos said.

Sylvia Garcia sighed. "I love you too, Carlos," she responded.

She was starting to wonder if maybe she should just forgive Logan like everyone wanted her to do. No one wanted to be her friend anymore; not Brooke, Joanna, or Jennifer. It was starting to cause problems in her marriage. The only thing it didn't affect was her relationship with Carlos and that's only because Carlos didn't even remember what happened. He didn't understand why she wasn't exactly Logan's biggest fan right about now.

XXXXX

As soon as Logan saw Carlos being wheeled into his room, a huge smile spread across his face. Dr. Summers had removed the restraints for his visit with Carlos. She was worried what Carlos might think if he saw his best friend strapped down to his hospital bed. She got Logan to promise her that he was going to take it easy so that he wouldn't reopen his incision.

"Carlos…you're okay! It's so good to see you! I've missed you!" Logan exclaimed, tears in his eyes.

Officer Garcia helped his son stand up, and then walked him over to Logan's bedside. Carlos then practically fell on top of Logan, hugging his best friend.

"I missed you too! Thanks for saving my life, Logie!" Carlos said as he rested his head on Logan's chest.

Logan's cheeks turned beet red.

"I'll give the two of you some privacy," Officer Garcia said, quietly excusing himself.

Logan sighed contently. "It was nothing. I'm just glad that it worked."

Carlos lifted his head up from Logan's chest, standing upright. He looked Logan up and down, surveying him for damage. He seemed to be fine. He didn't see any casts, slings, or neck braces on him like James and Kendall had been wearing.

"They say you saved my life twice," Carlos said.

Logan frowned. He shifted his position in his hospital bed, sitting up a little bit straighter. He had a worried look on his face.

"You mean you don't remember?" Logan asked.

"No, but I believe them," Carlos answered, quick to reassure Logan with his words and an appreciative smile.

Logan was overcome by a fresh bout of grief that clawed at his heart. Tears leaked from his eyes. Carlos had suffered brain damage alright. His memory had been seriously compromised.

"Hey, it's all right. Don't cry, Logie," Carlos said.

Carlos hated seeing Logan cry. He had always been sensitive and emotional, but Logan seemed particularly sensitive and emotional right now for some reason that Carlos didn't quite understand. He placed his hand on Logan's shoulder, and started rubbing it, not knowing what else to do.

Logan noticed a change in Carlos. It was kind of hard to describe, but if Logan had to, he would say it was like Carlos was seeing him for the first time in a really long time. His eyes lit up, and he had an enormous grin on his face.

"I'm so happy they _finally_ let me see you! I've missed you! Thanks for saving my life, Logie!" Carlos exclaimed, hugging Logan.

Logan choked back his sobs. He was glad that Carlos couldn't see his face now that he was hugging him. Had Carlos seen Logan's face, he would see how utterly devastated Logan was by this turn of events.

XXXXX

James saw Officer Garcia join the rest of them in the waiting room. He knew that Carlos was in visiting Logan right now, and James was green with envy. Logan was essentially _his_ boyfriend even though they hadn't brought up the topic of them getting back together. He didn't like how close Logan and Carlos were. It made James kind of feel like he was being forgotten about.

"James, sweetie, what's wrong?" Brooke Diamond asked out of concern for her son.

"Not here," James replied before grabbing his mom's hand and dragging her down the hallway, away from the others.

Once they were around the corner, James let go of his mother's hand. She had a confused look on her face. James sighed deeply.

"How come the only thing Logan can think about is seeing Carlos? Last I checked, _Logan's_ memory wasn't messed up!" James remarked bitterly.

James' mother gave him a sympathetic look.

"Honey, put yourself in Logan's position for a sec. If you just donated your liver to Carlos, wouldn't you be worried about his well-being?" Brooke Diamond asked.

"I guess so," James answered begrudgingly.

"Well see? There you go. I'm sure that's all it is."

"But what if it's not?"

James had just put out one fire. He used to think that Kendall was so opposed to James and Logan dating because Kendall wanted Logan for himself. Kendall had said that he would back off since then, but now it was Carlos that was trying to steal Logan from him. What didn't they understand about Logan being _his_?

James narrowed his eyes at his mother when she started laughing.

"What's so funny?" James asked on edge.

"Nothing. I just think it's sweet how jealous you're getting. People only get jealous when they _really _care about someone," his mother answered.

"I am _not _jealous!"

"James!"

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little jealous, but I can't help myself!"

"Do you trust Logan?"

"Yeah."

"Do you trust Carlos?"

"No."

His mom started smirking again, and James absolutely hated it. There was nothing even remotely funny about any of this! How could she possibly be amused or happy or whatever positive emotion she was?

"Honey, has Carlos ever expressed interest in Logan, you know, in that way?" Brooke inquired.

"Well, no. But neither did I until one day. What if today is the day Carlos suddenly starts seeing Logan like I see Logan?" James replied.

"James, I really think you're overreacting. Carlos and Logan are just two friends worried about one another having both come out of surgery."

James hoped his mother was right, but he also still had his doubts.

XXXXX

"Carlos, do you remember why you had to have surgery in the first place?" Logan asked.

"Because my liver stopped working?" Carlos said as more of a question than an answer.

"Yeah, but do you know why it stopped working?"

"No. Should I?"

It was just as Logan feared; Carlos had no recollection of the stage collapsing during their concert. In a weird sort of way though, Logan was actually kind of glad. Living through something like that was likely to give you nightmares, and at least Logan didn't have to worry about Carlos losing any sleep over it.

"It's okay, Carlos. Can I ask you something?" Logan asked.

"Of course," Carlos responded.

"Why don't you hate me?"

Carlos couldn't believe his ears. He actually thought maybe he had just heard Logan wrong or something. Surely he couldn't have just asked him why he didn't hate him. That would be just plain ridiculous.

"I could never hate you, Logie," Carlos said, taking Logan's hand in his own, and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah, well you should!" Logan remarked, turning his head away from Carlos so he wouldn't have to look at him.

"I don't understand. Why would I hate you? You saved my life twice! Or so I've been told."

"See? You just don't remember! I'm sure if you remembered, you _would_ hate me!"

"Remember what?"

"I left Los Angeles, Carlos. I didn't say goodbye to anyone; not Kendall, not James, not you."

Carlos shook his head repeatedly. Tears sprang to his eyes. His mother had said something about Logan having left, but he didn't believe her. Now Logan was saying the same thing.

"Why would you leave us?" Carlos asked, hurt in his voice.

"I found you and James laying in a hospital bed together, and I thought something was going on between you two. I felt so betrayed, so I left because I didn't want to be around either of you," Logan explained.

Carlos was confused. The way Logan was talking, it kind of sounded like he and James were an item. That couldn't be it, could it? Wasn't Logan still dating Camille? Carlos also had no memory of him and James laying in a hospital bed together. It wasn't that he thought Logan was lying to him. It was probably just one of those things that he had forgotten all about.

"Logie, are you saying that you're…_gay_?" Carlos questioned.

Logan nodded his head. Carlos let go of Logan's hand, causing Logan to frown. He was pleasantly surprised when Carlos leaned over and embraced him in a hug.

"I don't care. You're still Logan to me," Carlos commented, smiling.

"Aren't you mad at me?" Logan asked, hoping Carlos wasn't.

"For being gay?"

"No. For leaving you."

"You left?"

Logan tried not to get frustrated by Carlos. It wasn't his fault his short term memory was practically nonexistent. He felt like Carlos' faulty memory was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because he had no memory of Logan ever causing him such emotional pain. It was a curse because it was tremendously difficult to see Carlos not remember things that he should; things that happened mere seconds ago.

"I'm _so _sorry, Carlos. Like you don't even know _how_ sorry I am. I was such an awful friend to you, and I don't even deserve your forgiveness. I should have believed you and James when you said that nothing happened between you two, but I didn't. I shouldn't have left without saying goodbye to you guys. I shouldn't have even left at all. If I hadn't, I would have been up on stage with you guys at that concert when the stage collapsed. Then maybe I would have been killed because it's what I deserve for all the pain I caused you all," Logan rambled, sobbing uncontrollably upon finishing.

Carlos pulled back from Logan.

"Stop it! Quit talking about yourself like that!" Carlos exclaimed.

"I…can't…help…it…though…" Logan said, his sentence fragmented by sobs.

"Oh, Logie. Come here."

Carlos gathered Logan in his arms. Logan buried his face in Carlos' chest and cried. Carlos gently shushed Logan, rubbing small circles in his back the whole time. He absolutely hated seeing Logan so sad. He should never have any reason to be this sad! He also couldn't believe that Logan wished he had died. Didn't he know how many people loved him? Didn't he know how sad that would make them?

"That's the funny thing about forgiveness, Logie. Even if you think you don't deserve it, people give it to you anyways," Carlos said.

Logan thought that sounded awfully familiar. In fact, it sounded almost word for word what Carlos' father had said to Logan during their heart-to-heart.

"I forgive you, Logan. Not that there's really anything to forgive though. I mean I don't even remember any of that happening," Carlos said, only making Logan cry even harder.

This only made Carlos hold Logan even tighter though. Carlos was actually glad that Logan _wasn't_ on stage with them when it collapsed. He couldn't stand the thought of Logan being injured like he, James, and Kendall were. Carlos shuddered. He _definitely _couldn't stand the thought of Logan dying from the stage collapse like Logan apparently thought he deserved.

"Besides, you saved my life, Logie. _Twice_. I think that makes you the best friend in the whole wide world," Carlos remarked.

"Two good things doesn't make up for the one really bad thing I did, Carlos," Logan said somberly.

"Well, if you think about it, it's actually _four_ good things. You saved my life twice, but you also saved James' life and Kendall's life. Four good for one bad. I think that gets you off the hook."

Logan clung tightly to Carlos as if his life depended on it. He couldn't get over how amazingly sweet Carlos was being to him. It wasn't that he was surprised though. Carlos was such a sweetheart. Maybe he should just quit while he was ahead. He had Carlos' forgiveness even if Logan felt like he didn't deserve it, but he had it, and that's all that mattered.

"We're best friends, Logan, and we'll _always_ be best friends," Carlos said, earning a smile from Logan.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: I hope this was to your liking, Miss Fenway. **


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: This has received over 500 reviews. You all are so awesome! Not that you wouldn't be awesome had it not received 500 reviews. You know what? I'm shutting up now. Yeah, that's what I'll do…**

**Disclaimer: All I want for Christmas is to own Big Time Rush, but Santa said I was a naughty boy, and wow, that came out dirty! My apologies. Heh. Shutting up again…**

**Big Time Sick**

After a week in the hospital, both Carlos and Logan were allowed to return home to The Palm Woods where they would finish their recovery. They still had another 7-11 weeks to go in their recovery. They were both given orders not to do any heavy lifting or anything strenuous. In fact, they were supposed to spend the duration of their recovery getting rest and taking it easy.

Unfortunately, it was time for all the parents except for Mrs. Knight to return home to Minnesota. Each parent was saying bye to their respective child. There was one parent who was noticeably missing though: Mr. Diamond.

James gave his mother a hug.

"I love you, Mom," James said.

"I love you too, James," Brooke Diamond replied.

James kept looking at the door to Apartment 2J, thinking it would open any second and his dad would come walking in. His eyes started to fill with tears. He may have come out of the closet to his parents, but at the expense of having any relationship with his father. Mr. Diamond apparently was ashamed of his son. That had to be it. Or else he would be here to say bye to him like all the other parents.

"Does dad hate me?" James asked, his voice cracking.

"No, sweetie. Your father's just a jerk," Mrs. Diamond said, getting James to laugh.

That's one thing that James loved about his mother. She was brutally honest. It was kind of reminiscent of Carlos in the way that neither had a brain-mouth filter. Except in Carlos' case, he was too innocent to have any malicious intent when he said the truth. In Brooke's case however, that was kind of the point; She would tell you the truth not caring whether it hurt you or not.

"It's true. That's why I divorced him. He cheated on me with a much younger woman. I can't believe it took me so long to realize what a jerk your father is. I guess I just got caught up in how good looking he was," James' mother said.

"Are you sure you're okay with me and Logan, you know, dating?" James asked, suddenly losing all the confidence he normally possessed.

"Do you even need to ask, James? I love Logan, and I love you. Why wouldn't I love the two of you together?" James' mom replied. "Have you asked him out yet? Have you told him how you feel about him since our last heart-to-heart?"

"Well, no."

"Do it. The longer you wait, the more he'll think you're not interested. Just take it from me though; a relationship needs more than just a physical attraction. I hope the two of you have more than just a physical attraction or else I'm afraid it won't work."

James thought about it, and he realized that while of course he was attracted to Logan physically, they did have a deeper connection. The two of them really cared about each other. Throughout his entire sickness, who was there for him? Logan. Who did James go to? Logan. When Logan thought he and Carlos were an item, Logan got jealous. He wouldn't have done that if there was only a physical attraction, would he? Then, there was how James felt when all Logan could think and talk about at the hospital was Carlos. James got jealous then himself.

"Thanks, Mom. I think I'm going to go talk to Logan now. I love you," James said, giving his mom a goodbye kiss.

XXXXX

"My boy!" Officer Garcia said.

Carlos leapt into his father's arms, who promptly caught him, and the father and son hugged.

"Carlos! You're supposed to take it easy!" Sylvia scolded.

Carlos leaned closer and whispered something in his dad's ear.

"Make things right with Mama. I don't like seeing the two of you fighting," he said.

Officer Garcia did a rare thing when he frowned. Carlos didn't seem to understand that it wasn't as simple as that. Officer Garcia didn't condone the way his wife had been treating Logan, and blaming him for things that either weren't his fault or he was deeply sorry for.

"Give your Mama a kiss!" Carlos' mother said.

Officer Garcia glared at his wife as Carlos left him to go say goodbye to her. Was this how it was going to be between them? The two of them fighting over Carlos. He didn't understand what had gotten into her. She had always been sassy. He loved that about her, but this wasn't just sass; it was downright cruelty.

Carlos kissed his mom on the cheek, before hugging her tightly, a content smile on his face. He didn't like that his parents were leaving, but maybe that's what they needed to do; get away from him for a little bit so they could focus on themselves, and hopefully fix the problems they were having.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay longer?" Sylvia asked.

Carlos shook his head.

"It's okay, Mama. You have a job to get back to in Minnesota. Besides, Mama Knight will take care of me. I actually have a lot of people here who will take care of me," Carlos said.

Sylvia Garcia fought back her tears. It pretty much sounded like Carlos was telling her that he didn't need her even though deep down, she knew that's not what he meant at all. He was far too innocent to say something so mean. She also was fiercely jealous of Jennifer. Carlos was _her_ son, not Jennifer's! If anyone should be taking care of him, now more than ever, it should be her, not Jennifer!

"Mama, can you do something for me before you leave?" Carlos asked.

"Of course, Carlos. What would you like me to do?" she responded.

"Talk to Logan. Make things right with him. I care about both of you, which is why I hate that you're not getting along."

Sylvia sighed. She was afraid Carlos would ask her to do something like that.

"Okay, Carlos. I'll go talk to Logan," Carlos' mom said.

XXXXX

"Give your mom a kiss, Hortense," Joanna Mitchell said, tapping her cheek with her finger.

Logan looked at the doorway to his room to make sure the coast was clear. He was a mama's boy, but he didn't want anyone to know about it, which was why when his friends were around, he acted like he was embarrassed to kiss his mom. Not seeing any of his friends, Logan leaned over and kissed his mom on the cheek.

"I saw that," James commented.

He laughed as Logan turned three different shades of red. Even Logan's mom cracked a smile. That was one of the many adorable things about her son; he got easily embarrassed.

"Aww! That was so cute, Logie," James teased.

"James, knock it off!" Logan whined, trying but failing to get his blushing under control.

Joanna quickly caught on to the way James and Logan were looking at one another. Not wanting to become the third wheel, she started to leave Logan's room.

"I'll leave the two of you alone. Bye, Hortense. I love you!" Joanna said.

"Love you too, Mom!" Logan replied.

James walked over to Logan's bed, sitting down beside him.

"I know I'm not going back to Minnesota, but can I get a hug too?" James asked, somewhat bashfully.

Logan leaned over and wrapped his arms around James, who immediately returned the embrace. James sighed contently. Logan tried to pull back, but James wouldn't let him.

"Okay, James. Can you let go of me now?" Logan asked, not knowing what to make of this new development.

"Nu-uh," James responded.

James couldn't help it if Logan felt so good in his arms. He finally had Logan all to himself. Their one-on-one time was long overdue too.

"Do you want to try again? Me and you I mean," James said.

"Like go out again?" Logan asked.

James would have slapped himself in the forehead, but that would mean letting go of Logan, so he didn't. How could someone as smart as Logan be so slow on the uptake?

"Yeah. Don't you want to? Don't you love me?" James inquired.

It took some effort, but Logan wrestled himself free of James' grasp. James still had a hold of Logan's shoulders though.

"I do," Logan answered.

"You do want to go out with me? Or you do love me?" James questioned.

Logan leaned over and the next thing James knew, Logan was kissing him on the lips. James removed his hands from Logan's shoulders, putting one hand against the side of Logan's face, and running his other hand through Logan's hair. Logan held James' face in between his two hands.

When breathing became an issue, the two boys had no choice but to separate. As each of them pulled back, Logan gave James a chaste kiss on the lips. Afterwards, James was left babbling like an idiot. Just like that, all of James' questions had been answered and then some. He was pleasantly surprised that Logan took the initiative like that.

Logan laughed as James tried to collect himself. James loved the way Logan's eyes crinkled up when he laughed. He loved the sound of Logan's laugh. It wasn't annoying like some laughs were. In fact, James could listen to Logan's laugh all day. But there was something James loved even more than Logan's laugh; his smile. With dimples like Logan's, it was hard _not_ to love Logan's smile.

"Are you okay there, James?" Logan asked, chuckling.

"Hey, you never did answer my question, Logie!" James pouted. "Did you say yes to going out with me or yes to loving me?"

Logan playfully nudged James.

"What do _you_ think?" Logan replied, smirking.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking!" James exclaimed.

Logan rolled his eyes. It was a good thing James was pretty.

"Yes I want to be your boyfriend, and yes, I love you," Logan answered.

James had a goofy grin on his face, clearly pleased with Logan's answer. Or rather his _boyfriend's_ answer. _Boyfriend_. James quite liked the sound of that.

"I have a confession," James stated.

"What's that?" Logan asked, suddenly worried.

"Back at the hospital, I was jealous of Carlos. After you woke up from your surgery, the only thing that seemed to be on your mind was seeing Carlos. To be frank, I felt kind of neglected."

Logan frowned, but he also felt sympathy for James.

"James, you have to understand that when I woke up after my surgery, my biggest fear was that it was all for nothing; that something went wrong, and Carlos didn't survive the operation. _That_ is why I was so worried about Carlos. I didn't mean to make you feel less important though. You have to know that," Logan explained.

"I do now. I'm sorry for getting jealous," James replied.

"Don't be. I care about Carlos, but I love you, James. Only you."

Sylvia Garcia knocked on the bedroom door. Both boys looked towards the door. They had entirely different reactions to seeing who was there. James' eyes darkened as he took up a protective stance in front of Logan. On the other hand, Logan was surprised, but glad to see Carlos' mom; they had some issues to resolve too.

"Logan, may I speak with you alone?" she asked.

"Why don't you get out of here? Logan doesn't want to talk to you! Right, Logan?" James asked, turning towards Logan for backup.

"Actually, I think she and I need to talk," Logan answered.

James couldn't believe his ears. He wasn't mad at Logan though. One thing about Logan was that he was entirely too forgiving. In a way, he was kind of like Carlos in that he didn't like to have animosity with anyone for too long.

"Okay, but if she gives you any trouble, be sure to let me know," James said.

Logan nodded his head in understanding. James reluctantly left Logan's bedroom.

XXXXX

Logan could see that Carlos' mom really didn't want to be here right now. Logan was willing to bet that she promised Carlos she would do something before she even knew what it was she was promising. Seeing that she wasn't going to go first, Logan decided that he would.

"I'm not mad at you," Logan said, surprising Sylvia.

"Why not? I've been so awful to you," she responded.

Logan thought it was a start that she was even admitting that.

"Because you were the one person who wasn't afraid to tell me all the things I didn't want to hear. I was actually kind of surprised. I thought James' mom was the brutally honest one. You did what you felt was right even if you were the only one. I admire that," Logan admitted.

"I just hope you know that it's not that I don't care about you, Logan. You've been a huge part of my son's life for years now that I would like to think you know that I care about you," Sylvia said.

"I know. You were just looking out for Carlos. I certainly can't fault you for that. Really, you were just voicing the thoughts that were in my head. You trusted me, and I broke your trust. I realize that I have to earn back your trust, and that will take time, but I hope that one day you will learn to trust me again. I've learned my lesson, and I'm not going to hurt Carlos or any of my friends like that ever again."

Sylvia walked over to Logan's bedside. She held one of his hands in hers.

"Despite what I said back at the hospital, I really am glad that you pulled through, Logan. I also don't think I ever told you this, but thank you for saving Carlos' life twice. If not for you…I don't know what I would have done if…" Sylvia trailed off, eyes full of tears.

"Hey, look at me," Logan said. Sylvia reluctantly did so, her eyes glimmering with tears. "Carlos is alive though. Try not to think about what could have been, okay? He's getting better with each passing day. I think he's even starting to get his short-term memory back. He's not repeating himself like he used to."

Sylvia nodded her head. When she was saying goodbye to Carlos earlier, he didn't repeat himself once. She would even venture to say that he wasn't _starting_ to get his short-term memory back. He _has_ his short-term memory back. He still didn't remember the concert, but Sylvia was fine with that. She thought that was for the best anyways.

"I really am sorry for how I treated you, Logan," Carlos' mom said.

"Don't be. People think I'm too forgiving, but if you ask me, everyone but you was too forgiving when it came to me. You treated me _exactly _as I deserved…" Logan started to say.

"No. You're wrong. You didn't deserve it. Not after all that you did for not just Carlos, but Kendall and James as well."

Logan frowned.

"I wish people would stop treating me like I'm some sort of hero. I'm not. I'm far from it," Logan remarked.

Logan averted his gaze. Mrs. Garcia gave Logan's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Hey, look at me," she instructed, much like Logan instructed her earlier. Logan obliged. "I don't know what your definition of a hero is, but you saved Kendall's life, James' life, and Carlos' life. I _think _that makes you a hero."

Logan wasn't comfortable with the idea of people thinking he was a hero. It was like they were completely forgetting about all the bad stuff he had done that was unbecoming of a hero. His hands were hardly clean even though everyone seemed to treat him like he was some sort of saint.

Logan was surprised when Carlos' mother leaned over and hugged him.

"Take care of my Carlos for me," she said. "And take care of yourself too."

Logan was stunned. He thought he still had to earn her trust, but from the way she talked, it sounded like he already had.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: What the heck is up with me writing all this tender stuff? Is something wrong with me or what? This will not do! Lol.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Big Time Sick**

Carlos and Logan were both supposed to take it easy after their surgeries. When it came to their recovery though, the two boys couldn't be more different. Carlos was milking it for all it was worth; thoroughly enjoying having others wait on him hand and foot. Logan, on the other hand, tried to do everything on his own because he didn't want to be a bother to anyone else.

James' neck was no longer in a brace. Kendall's shoulder was no longer in a sling, and his wrist was no longer in a cast. James called dibs on Logan, which left Mama Knight, Katie, and Kendall to wait on Carlos. Both Carlos and Logan were given a bell they were supposed to ring whenever they needed something. While Logan's bell was collecting dust, it was a miracle Carlos' bell still worked anymore with all the mileage it's been getting.

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

Kendall entered the bedroom James shared with Carlos. He lost a game of rock, paper, scissors with his sister and his mother, which was why he was the one waiting on Carlos this time around. Why couldn't he have waited on Logan instead? At least Logan only asked for help when he _really_ needed it unlike someone who shall remain nameless…

"What is it this time?" Kendall asked, trying but failing to keep the irritated tone out of his voice.

"I'm hungry!" Carlos whined.

Kendall massaged his temples with his fingers. He was starting to _not _be able to handle Carlos in large doses anymore. More like the smaller the doses the better.

"You _just _had lunch fifteen minutes ago!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Yeah, but that was fifteen minutes ago! I'm hungry _now_!" Carlos retorted.

Carlos' voracious appetite never ceased to amaze Kendall. It bordered on gluttonous really. Kendall had no idea where Carlos put all the food he consumed either because he was in terrific shape.

"How is that even possible?" Kendall remarked.

Carlos shrugged his shoulders innocently. A frown flickered across his facial features. He absentmindedly fiddled with the straps on his helmet.

"Am I…_annoying_…you?" Carlos asked.

Kendall was caught off guard by Carlos' question. He took a deep breath. Should he tell Carlos the truth or spare his feelings? There was something tempting about both of his options.

XXXXX

James knocked on the door to the bedroom Kendall shared with Logan. The boy in question looked up from the future doctors magazine he had been completely engrossed in before James interrupted him.

"Hey, James! What's up?" Logan asked, smiling brightly at James.

James had to shake himself from the trance Logan's smile usually puts him under.

"Nothing. I was just checking to see if you needed anything," James responded.

"Nope. I'm good, thanks," Logan answered.

James walked over to Logan's bedside. His eyes roamed over Logan's body as he "checked him for injuries." James' cheeks were rosy as he wondered if he was being too obvious about his _real _intentions.

James placed his hand on Logan's shoulder, and he could feel Logan's racing pulse. He wondered if he was the reason Logan's heart was beating so fast. James also noticed how Logan seemed to avoid making eye contact with James at all costs. What was that all about?

"So, how are you feeling, Logie Bear?" James asked.

"F-feeling? H-how am I f-feeling?" Logan stuttered nervously.

"Yeah, you just had surgery over a week ago."

Logan chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh, right. That. I'm good," Logan said.

James had a hard time believing Logan though. Sure he put on a good act, but James was curious if that's all it was; an act. James had noticed that Logan does this thing where he tries to act tougher than he really feels, and he wondered if this was one such occasion.

"When's the last time you…" James trailed off, abruptly turning his head away from Logan for some reason unknown to Logan.

"When's the last time I _what_?" Logan asked.

"Forget it. It's nothing."

Logan was disheartened by James' sudden shift in behavior. He didn't know why James was acting so…well, Logan wasn't sure how James was acting. Logan thought it was cute though which was strange because when Logan thought of James, "cute" wasn't the first word that popped into his mind.

Logan took James' hand in his own, and James relished in the contact. It sent tingles up and down his spine.

"James, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Logan asked.

XXXXX

"What? Annoying? You? No!" Kendall replied, his voice getting high-pitched.

"You know you're a horrible liar, right?" Carlos responded.

Kendall sighed in defeat. He also gave Carlos an apologetic look. Carlos saw this and gave Kendall a small smile in return.

"I'm sorry if I'm bugging you. It's just…this is so boring! I mean you know me; I'm always on the go. I can't sit still. How am I supposed to be on bed rest for another six to eight weeks?" Carlos remarked.

"I know, Carlos. I know. I realize this sucks now, but don't you want to get better? If you don't take it easy, you might do something that will make your recovery process even longer. You don't want that, do you?" Kendall commented.

"Well, no."

Carlos stared at his lap, twiddling his thumbs. His helmet slipped over his eyes. Now Kendall felt bad. Carlos had his sad, guilty face. Kendall placed both of his hands squarely on Carlos' shoulders.

"Hey, do you want me to bring the video games in here and hook it up so you and I can play? Or would you rather I bring you some of your favorite helmet magazines? Whatever you want, buddy. Just let me know, okay?" Kendall said.

Just like that, Carlos was happy again. He was easy to please. A huge, boyish smile spread across his face. He eagerly bobbed his head up and down, his helmet falling even further over his eyes.

Kendall playfully socked Carlos in the shoulder.

"Sit tight. I'll be right back," Kendall said.

"Hey, Kendall?" Carlos called out just as Kendall got to the doorway.

Kendall stopped where he stood, and turned around to face Carlos.

"Yeah, Carlitos?" Kendall asked.

"I just wanted to say thanks for putting up with me, and well, for everything really," Carlos answered.

"Oh, come on. You're not _that _bad!"

Carlos took no offense to Kendall's comment, and Kendall had meant nothing by it either. Whenever Carlos started to grate on Kendall's nerves, Kendall just had to remind himself how lucky he was that Carlos was even alive; he came out of the stage collapse the worst, and he just had a major surgery. Kendall was glad that Carlos was still with them. He wouldn't have it any other way.

XXXXX

James' cheeks were crimson, and he could feel Logan's eyes on him, which made him blush even more. He knew that Logan was starting to grow worried. He knew that Logan was waiting for him to answer, and as much as he didn't want to keep Logan waiting, the truth of the matter was James was…_nervous_. What if it didn't come out the way James had envisioned it in his head? What if Logan took offense to it? Maybe he should just keep his thoughts to himself. Yeah, Logan doesn't need to know.

"James," Logan said, waving his hand in front of James' face.

"Huh?" James asked.

Logan frowned. He still had James' hand in his, and he stroked the back of James' hand with his thumb.

"Seriously, what's on your mind?" Logan inquired.

James heaved a deep sigh.

"I just wanted to ask you something, and keep in mind that you can say no if you want to, but I was just curious when the last time you had a bath was because I know that you can't take a shower, and we don't have a bathtub, and so I was just going to offer my services to you, you know, if you needed someone to give you a sponge bath or something. Not that this is just some excuse to get you to take your clothes off for me because it's not. I just want to make sure that you're clean. That's all," James rambled.

Logan smirked.

"Right. Of course," Logan said, seemingly unconvinced.

Logan had never seen someone blush quite as much as James was blushing now. Logan found it adorable though. It wasn't often that James rambled. That was more of a Logan thing. To be perfectly honest, Logan found the prospect of James giving him a sponge bath to be pretty enticing.

James felt like such an idiot. He should have known when to leave it well enough alone. He wanted to bang his head against a wall or something for coming on too strongly. He hadn't meant to, but this was one of those things that didn't turn out quite like you expected it to.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go now," James said, pointing towards the door.

"James, wait!" Logan called out.

James didn't need to be told twice.

"I think a sponge bath sounds…_nice_. Help me out of bed?" Logan asked.

James was surprised. Logan was actually letting him help him, and not just with cleaning himself, but getting out of bed too. James knew that Logan was so resistant to help because he didn't like it when people babied him, but a part of James was glad that Logan was letting him baby him.

XXXXX

It was ten o'clock at night. Kendall stood in the doorway to Carlos' bedroom, and looked over at him one last time. His helmet-wearing, corn dog-loving best friend was sleeping peacefully. Kendall smiled at the sight before heading off for his own bedroom.

When he got there, he saw a slumbering Logan snuggled up against a still-awake James.

"Hey," Kendall greeted.

James looked up from Logan and saw Kendall standing in the doorway.

"Hey," James said back.

"How long has he been like that?" Kendall asked.

James looked down at Logan, his eyes full of affection. He couldn't get over how cute Logan was when he slept. He looked years younger. There was a certain youthful innocence to Logan when he was sleeping.

"Probably for about an hour," James answered.

Kendall seemed to sense that something was troubling James. Unless he was mistaken, for some reason, James looked to be on the verge of tears.

"James, is everything okay?" Kendall asked, genuinely concerned for his friend.

"Kendall, promise me that if something happens to me, you'll take care of Logan for me," James replied.

"James, stop it! Nothing's going to happen to you!"

That's when James lost it. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. The more he tried to _stop _sniffling, the more he sniffled. Even though he tried to remove all traces of his tears, some managed to get by James' futile attempts.

James thought back to when he was giving Logan a sponge bath earlier. He dropped the sponge on several occasions. James played it off as him being too distracted by a wet, naked Logan to focus on what he was doing, but the reality was that periodically, he would lose his ability to grip things like the sponge he had been using to clean Logan with for example.

James thought back to how he popped a couple of Logan's painkillers in his mouth to help with his own pain. He told himself that Logan wouldn't know the difference because when it came to his medicine, that was the one thing Mrs. Knight refused to let Logan be in charge of, so how would Logan know how many were supposed to be left in the bottle?

"Kendall, stop it. I'm _dying_. I know it. I don't know how much longer I have to live because nobody will tell me, but I do know that I can't have much longer," James retorted.

"That's because we don't want you to _act _like these are the last days you will ever spend with us," Kendall replied.

James rolled over on his side, careful not to wake Logan.

"Kendall, there's something you should see," James said.

Kendall walked over to the bed James and Logan were sharing with one another. James pulled up his lucky white v-neck, and Kendall saw a bump on James' back that was the size of a small pumpkin. Kendall gasped in horror.

"Now, I don't know much about medicine, but I _do _know my back shouldn't look like that!" James exclaimed.

"James, why haven't you said anything?" Kendall replied.

James shrugged his shoulders.

"I figured everyone had enough on their plate with Carlos and Logan's recovery. They didn't need to worry about me too," James answered, letting his shirt fall back over his torso.

Kendall placed his hand on James' arm, rubbing it up and down.

"Carlos and Logan getting better is important, but so are you, James. I'm going to go get my mom. We need to take you to the hospital," Kendall told James.

"To see Dr. Worthington? He's not going to _do _anything, Kendall. You know he won't," James responded.

"Then we'll take you to see Dr. Summers."

James pulled Logan even closer to him.

"No. I don't want to leave Logan," James stated.

"If that's really true, then come with us to the hospital, so we can get you better," Kendall said.

James' gaze drifted to a sleeping Logan. What if he woke up in the middle of the night and James wasn't there? What if he gets all confused and worked up because of it? What if he thinks James abandoned him? Suddenly, James found it hard to even breathe.

"Look James, I told you this before, and I'll say it again; you can have my liver. It worked for Carlos and Logan, and I'm confident it will work for us too," Kendall said.

"And I've already told you that I don't want you risking your life for me like that!" James countered.

Kendall was quickly starting to become irritated with James as indicated by both boys starting to raise their voices. It was amazing how Logan was sleeping through all this.

"Okay, fine then. Do nothing. You'll end up dying just like everyone else who has had your disease and didn't get a liver transplant. Then Logan really _will _be without you. Is that what you want?" Kendall remarked.

James pulled at his hair.

"How do I make you understand? If I was to go through with this, and you were to die, I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I was the reason you passed away. Do you really want me to carry that guilt around with me for the rest of my life?" James responded.

"Fine. Whatever. Do what you want. If you ask me though, you're giving up. The James Diamond I know never gives up," Kendall said, before climbing into his own bed, and rolling on his side so that his back was to James.

To Be Continued…


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Just a word of warning; this is going to probably be the darkest chapter of this story so far. I'm just not going to write the M rated stuff because I can't write M rated stuff. Anyways, if you are a James fan, you might not want to read this chapter because I am pretty sure by the end of it, you all will hate James. **

**Disclaimer: I am not making a profit by writing this. I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Big Time Sick**

James heard someone knocking at the front door. He had no idea where Kendall, Katie, or Mrs. Knight were. He didn't know why they weren't answering the door, but when it was clear that whoever was at the door wasn't leaving, James groaned loudly as he went to answer the door himself. He opened the door and found himself face-to-face with Trishelle.

"Whatever you have to say to me, I'm not interested," James said, before going to shut the door in her face.

She slipped in the door before he could though, and entered the threshold uninvited. She seemed unfazed by James' standoffish attitude.

"I bet you'll be _very _interested in what I have to say," Trishelle commented.

James scoffed.

"I wouldn't count on it!" James remarked.

It was then that James noticed that Trishelle had a piece of paper in her hand. A part of James was curious as to what was on the paper, but the rest of James knew that whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"I had an amniocentesis done," Trishelle said.

"Am I supposed to know what that is?" James responded.

Trishelle merely held the piece of paper out in front of James, who begrudgingly snatched the piece of paper from her. He scanned over the contents, and then the piece of paper fell from James' hand to the floor.

"It can't be!" James exclaimed.

"Oh yes it can, and it is, James. You are the baby's father just like I've been saying all along," Trishelle replied.

James' mind was racing. He couldn't form any coherent thoughts. He certainly couldn't verbalize any. How was this even possible? He didn't remember sleeping with Trishelle. Wouldn't he remember something like that? All he remembered was waking up next to her the morning after.

"Get out!" James shouted, pointing towards the door.

"James, I…" Trishelle started to say.

"Now!"

Trishelle did as James asked. It didn't really matter too much. The damage had already been done. She had already accomplished what she came here to do in the first place. James and Logan were that much closer to breaking up and _staying _broken up this time.

XXXXX

This changed everything as far as James was concerned. Time was definitely _not _on his side. He wasn't just talking about his liver condition either. If Logan ever found out that James was the father of Trishelle's baby, it would destroy him. James couldn't have that, not when things were finally starting to look up for them again.

James was certain that in the event that Logan ever _did _find out, it would be déjà vu. Once more, everyone would side with Logan over James. When it came to James' sex life, it was so easy for people to assume the worst about him, and James absolutely hated it.

James was convinced now more than ever that he had to seize the day. He needed to take action. He no longer had the luxury of knowing that he and Logan would be together tomorrow. The truth always found a way to rear its ugly head.

It didn't take James long for him to decide upon a course of action to take. It was something that James had always wanted to do, but it was never the right time. Even now, it wasn't the right time, but suddenly that didn't matter to James anymore. The way he saw it, it was now or never, and it sure as heck wasn't going to be never.

One thing was for sure though; the less people who knew about what James had planned, the better it was. It was strictly on a need-to-know basis, and no one but James needed to know.

Money was not an issue. James had set aside some money should an opportunity such as this ever present itself. He was glad that he had thought to set some money aside to begin with. Being a child of a broken family, James got twice as much allowance as most other kids. However, now it was only his mother who continued to give him allowance. Ever since his visit to L.A., his father had stopped giving James allowance.

Now all that was left to do was talk to Logan. James took a deep breath. This was all happening so fast. _Here goes nothing_.

XXXXX

"Hey Logan, do you want to get out of here for a bit?" James asked.

Logan stared at James like he was speaking some foreign language that was incomprehensible to him.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Logan responded.

That wasn't the answer James had been hoping for. He wasn't really surprised though. Logan was all about following the rules. If Dr. Summers said he should get bed rest, then Logan would follow those instructions to a T.

"Aren't you tired of being cooped up in here?" James questioned.

"Well yeah, but that's kind of the point of bed rest," Logan replied.

Logan sensed that something was different with James. He spoke with a sort of desperation and urgency that Logan couldn't quite figure out. What had gotten into James lately?

"What if I said I had a surprise for you?" James asked, changing tactics.

That got Logan's attention.

"A surprise? What kind of a surprise?" Logan inquired.

"If I told you it wouldn't be much of a surprise," James responded.

"Yeah, I guess so. Where is this surprise anyways?"

"Oh, it's not here, which is why I asked if you wanted to get out of here for a bit."

Logan still had his reservations. He didn't know why but he had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach about all of this. The thing was he wasn't sure if it was a _good _feeling or a _bad _feeling. He had to admit that he was curious though.

"Well shouldn't we let someone know where we're going?" Logan asked, ever the responsible one.

"We won't be gone long enough for anyone to even know that we were away," James told Logan.

"Well, at least let me get my phone."

"Quit stalling, Logan. Come on!"

James pulled Logan to his feet, and dragged him behind him as they hastily made their way out of Apartment 2J trying not to get caught. It wasn't too difficult of a task. Kendall and Carlos were in the bathroom with the door closed. Katie and Mrs. Knight were out buying groceries. Logan's cell phone remained on his nightstand.

XXXXX

James was standing behind Logan. He had his right arm wrapped around Logan's stomach. He held his left hand over Logan's eyes as he led the way. James had told him to close his eyes, and not peek.

Logan fully put his trust in James. He allowed James to be his eyes and ears for him. He could hear people talking in the background. Later he heard the dinging of an elevator as they presumably entered one. He could feel the elevator go up for what seemed like forever. He then heard the elevator ding again. They soon were walking again.

The next thing Logan heard was a beeping sound like a keycard would make. He heard the sound of a door opening, and shutting soon after.

"Okay, now you can open your eyes," James said, removing his hand from Logan's eyes.

Logan didn't know what to make of where they were. Where they were was the honeymoon suite of one of L.A.'s many hotels that wasn't The Palm Woods. Logan had no idea how James could afford this. He had no idea what they were even doing here to begin with.

"Are you surprised?" James asked.

All Logan could think of was how neither of them had thought to bring any of their belongings with them. Neither had any clothes other than those on their backs. Neither had brought any of their grooming things like toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, cologne, things of that nature. Logan didn't have his pain meds with him.

James really didn't have much of a choice. Mrs. Knight wouldn't even let him and Logan share a bedroom with one another. The bottom line was that she didn't trust them…that she didn't trust James at least, and she had every right not to. Because here James and Logan were in a honeymoon suite without anyone even knowing where they were. There was no stopping them now.

"Now I can have you all to myself without having to worry about anyone walking in on us," James said as he stalked his way over to Logan.

Logan gently pushed James away as he went to kiss him.

"James, seriously, what's gotten into you?" Logan asked.

"Don't you want this, Logie? Don't you want _me_?" James replied.

"Not like this, James. This is all happening too fast."

But James wasn't taking no for an answer. He grabbed two fistfuls of Logan's shirt, and forcefully backed him into the wall. When Logan went to push James off of him, James grabbed hold of both of Logan's hands, and pinned them against the wall above his head. James' body was parallel to Logan's as he had his lover pinned against the wall.

"James, stop!" Logan exclaimed, tears springing to his eyes.

XXXXX

"Hey Carlos, do you want to go and get James and Logan and tell them that lunch is ready?" Kendall asked, having fixed some sandwiches.

"Sure," Carlos said happily, just glad to be out of his bedroom.

Carlos trotted down the hallway eager to see his two other friends. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy all the time he was spending with Kendall, but by doing so, he hadn't got to see James and Logan that much. When he reached Logan's bedroom, and peeked his head in, he found that the bedroom was empty.

"That's odd. Where could they have gone?" Carlos asked out loud.

Carlos returned to the kitchen where Kendall was surprised to see Carlos and only Carlos. He arched his eyebrows in confusion.

"Where are James and Logan?" Kendall questioned.

"They weren't in the bedroom," Carlos answered.

"What do you mean they weren't in the bedroom?"

Kendall was already on his way to the bedroom that he shared with Logan even as he posed that question to Carlos. After he had finished giving Carlos a sponge bath, Kendall had busied himself in the kitchen making lunch for the four of them. He had just assumed that James and Logan had been in the bedroom the whole time.

But Kendall had assumed wrong.

"Hey guys, lunch is…" Kendall started to say before he saw the empty bedroom. "Ready."

He reached into this pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He hit Logan's number on speed dial, and he heard the phone ring not too far from him. He then spotted Logan's cell phone on his nightstand. That wasn't like Logan to go somewhere without his cell phone.

Kendall then decided to call James on speed dial, but it went straight to voicemail. For whatever reason, James' phone wasn't even on. That didn't make any sense at all! Why wouldn't James have his phone on?

"Maybe they're in the bathroom," Carlos suggested.

The two of them quickly made their way to the bathroom, but found the door open and the bathroom vacant. Kendall was starting to really worry now. He tried not to, but he couldn't help but assume the worst.

If James and Logan weren't back by the time his mother got home, she was going to kill Kendall and maybe even Carlos too. She had left Kendall in charge when she and Katie left earlier to go grocery shopping. Never in Kendall's wildest dreams did he ever think that something like this could happen on his watch. Kendall wasn't even sure what _this_ was!

XXXXX

James and Logan lay naked underneath the sheets of their king-sized bed; only they weren't laying side-by-side. Logan was as far away from James as the bed would allow him to be. He had tears streaming down his face. James scooted over to Logan, and touched his arm. He noticed how Logan flinched from the contact.

"Please, not again!" Logan begged.

James' eyes darkened with rage as he took in the sight of his broken friend. He didn't get Logan at all. He distinctly remembered Logan making a big deal about him supposedly having sex with Trishelle when they hadn't.

"Why do you have to be like that?" James snapped.

Logan ducked his head out of fear. He couldn't even bring himself to look at James; too afraid by what he might see. Up until a few minutes ago, Logan had been a virgin. The thing was when Logan pictured his and James' first time together, he didn't picture it like this at all.

First of all, it had hardly been consensual. James was bigger than Logan, and he used that to his advantage; easily overpowering Logan. James had his way with Logan, and he didn't even _try _to be gentle about it.

Logan was in so much pain right now. He felt so…he didn't even know how to describe how he was feeling; violated, ashamed, and scared. Definitely scared. He had seen a side of James that Logan never cared to see again for the rest of his life; this particular side of James terrified Logan.

Logan climbed out of bed, nearly toppling over because he could hardly stand. He wrapped a sheet around his waist, and started limping towards the door. James reached over and firmly grabbed Logan's forearm.

"Where do you think you're going?" James roared.

"Ow! James, stop! You're hurting me!" Logan cried out, desperately trying to break free from James' grasp.

Even if Logan had been at full strength, he wouldn't have been able to break free. Logan _wasn't_ at full strength. He was severely weakened, and therefore stood no chance at all. James knew this too.

"What are you going to do? Run to _Kendall_ and tell him what happened?" James screamed in Logan's face.

"I'm not going to tell anyone! I swear!" Logan exclaimed, tears obstructing his vision.

James balled his hands up into fists as he thought about Kendall. His grip on Logan's forearm got even tighter, and Logan withered underneath it.

"What is it with you and Kendall anyways? Do you love him or what? Who's the first person you go to for help or advice? Not me. _Him_! It's always _him_! Even now, I know you want to go tell _him _what I did to you! Frankly, I'm getting sick of it, Logan! You're mine! Not _his_!" James hollered.

James really did feel like now that he and Logan sealed the deal, that Logan really did belong to him now. He felt satisfied by that thought. One thing he wanted to do before he died was to do it with Logan. Now he could check that off the list. James justified his behavior because it was Logan's first time; he didn't know what he was doing. James had to take the lead; show Logan the ropes. James had plenty of experience when it came to sex. Granted, none of it had been with guys, but really there wasn't that much of a difference.

"Now get back in bed!" James commanded. "Check out isn't until noon tomorrow!"

Logan knew that James meant business. He quickly clambered back into bed; more like fell onto it. James immediately latched onto Logan, personally seeing to it that he didn't try to pull anything again.

That night, Logan cried himself to sleep.

To Be Continued…


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I absolutely love how I can make you hate any character. And I do mean any character. Never forget that. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own a thing.**

**Big Time Sick**

James and Logan returned to Apartment 2J early the next afternoon. They were hoping to slip back in undetected, but of course, they couldn't be that lucky. Everyone was there in the kitchen waiting for their return; Kendall, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight.

"Thank goodness! We were so worried about both of you! Don't you ever scare us like that again!" Mrs. Knight said as she hugged both boys.

It was when she embraced Logan that she noticed that something was off. He didn't seem to welcome the hug like he normally did. On the contrary, he seemed to shrink away from it entirely. Her forehead creased with frown lines.

"Logan, sweetie, is everything okay?" Mrs. Knight asked.

_Keep it together, Logan. Stay strong. Don't let them know anything is the matter. Pretend like everything is fine. You don't want to draw attention to yourself._

"I'm good. I'm just a little tired. I'll be in my bedroom," Logan answered.

But that was Logan's first mistake. As he started to make his way to his bedroom, everyone could see plain as day that he was limping. The same question raced through everyone else's mind but James. Kendall was just the first to verbalize it.

"Why are you limping? Are you hurt?" Kendall asked.

Logan laughed uneasily, trying to make it sound as natural as possible. Kendall couldn't help but notice that Logan didn't even make eye contact with anyone as he spoke. He picked up on the way Logan seemed to hurry through his words; almost like he was afraid to say the wrong thing, too much, or…something.

"You know me. I'm such a klutz," Logan commented, before continuing to limp to his bedroom.

Even Carlos wasn't fooled. He hated that Logan was apparently hurt. It broke his heart to see his best friend limp to his room. Something didn't add up to Carlos though. Even if what Logan said was true, which Carlos sincerely doubted it was, how could a klutzy mishap be so bad that it would cause Logan to limp?

Now that Logan was gone, Mrs. Knight rounded on James. She looked none too pleased.

"You have some serious explaining to do, young man! You broke curfew! Why didn't you call someone to let them know where you were and that you were okay? Why didn't you have your phone on? What were you thinking sneaking out like that? I have no choice but to ground the both of you! I'm also taking you off Logan duty! I'll see to it that he's taken care of from now on!" Mrs. Knight said sternly.

"Logan was tired of being cooped up in here, so I snuck him out of the apartment. We didn't tell anyone where we were or what we were doing because if we did, whoever we told would only try to stop us," James replied.

Carlos could relate to Logan feeling like a prisoner in his own home. He would give anything to be able to get out of the apartment for a bit. Heck, it was a refreshing change for him to even be outside his bedroom!

"Since I'm grounded, I guess I'll go to my room," James said before making his exit.

Kendall, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight all traded looks with one another after James had left. Words didn't even need to be said for them to know what they all were thinking. It only felt like they were being told half the story. The real question was what were James and Logan hiding?

XXXXX

Katie was getting the mail when she saw that the latest issue of _Pop Tiger_. Right smack on the front page was a photo of James with a caption that read: "Girl says James Diamond is the father of her baby, and she has the DNA evidence to prove it." Katie's jaw dropped.

She had a pretty good idea which girl made the claim; Trishelle. Katie was fortunate enough never to have met Trishelle in person, but she had heard a lot about her, and none of it was very flattering.

Katie was trying to make a connection between this story in _Pop Tiger_ and James sneaking Logan out of the apartment. She couldn't help but feel like the two were somehow related. She just was puzzled by _how _they were related. The only thing she could come up with was James snuck Logan out of the apartment so he wouldn't see the newest issue of _Pop Tiger_, but even that didn't seem right.

As soon as she got back to the apartment, she wasted no time showing her brother and mother the magazine.

"Unbelievable!" Kendall muttered. "I see Trishelle's up to her same old tricks!"

"Why would she say something like this?" Mrs. Knight asked.

Unlike her mother and brother, Katie's thoughts were somewhere else completely. She thought of Logan, and how heartbroken he would be by this. He adored James. He was in love with James. He…wait a second. When they got back to the apartment, they didn't seem very much in love. Now that Katie thought about it, not once did Logan even look at James. Was it possible? Did he already know? Was that why James snuck Logan out of the apartment; to explain himself to Logan?

"Maybe that's what James wanted to talk to Logan about," Katie spoke up. "Maybe he wanted to tell Logan himself before he read about it in a magazine."

Kendall and Mrs. Knight both nodded their heads in agreement. Perhaps there was something to what Katie was saying. Perhaps she was really onto something. They were still missing some integral parts of the puzzle though, which Mrs. Knight was quick to point out.

"Okay, but then why was Logan limping then? Why did he seem almost…I don't know…nervous and on edge?" Mrs. Knight asked.

However, neither Katie nor Kendall had any answers for their mother. The closer they seemed to get to discovering the truth, the more questions they had; questions that probably only James and Logan knew the answers to.

XXXXX

Carlos was hanging upside down, dangling off the side of his bed, tossing a Nerf football up in the air and catching it over and over again. James was laying flat on his back on his bed.

"Are you and Logan fighting or something?" Carlos asked James.

James turned toward Carlos, glaring at him.

"Not that it's any of _your _business, but Logan and I are fine!" James retorted.

Carlos wasn't quite sure what to make of James' attitude towards him. It was just a simple question. Carlos didn't really mean anything by it. Carlos stopped tossing the football.

"It didn't really seem like it if you ask me," Carlos stated.

"Well no one asked you!" James exclaimed.

James had no patience for Carlos right now. He wasn't in the mood. Where did he get off giving him the third degree anyways? What, was he trying to be like his father? Playing detective?

"What's the _real _reason Logie's limping?" Carlos questioned.

"It's like he said; he's a klutz. He tripped over his own feet," James answered in an irritated tone of voice.

"Yeah, I don't think so. I mean I can be pretty accident prone myself; nowhere near as accident prone as Jenny Tinkler, but I've had my klutzy moments myself. Anyways, it's never really serious. My ego gets hurt more than my body does because it's kind of embarrassing."

James hated how Logan was in a completely different room. There was no telling what he was doing right now. James figured Logan was probably telling everyone what _really _happened even though he told James that he wouldn't. But James couldn't concentrate on anything too much with Carlos' incessant yapping.

"Oh my gosh! Do you ever _shut up_?" James shouted.

Carlos sat upright, lowered his head, and blinked back the tears that had already started to form in his eyes.

"Did I do something to upset you?" Carlos asked, confused.

James hadn't meant to snap at Carlos. It's just he wouldn't stop talking. He was getting dangerously close to the truth. Besides, once he found out that James was the father of Trishelle's baby, Carlos would hate James anyways.

"Well whatever I did, I'm sorry," Carlos said sincerely.

XXXXX

"Mama Knight?" Logan said softly, waking Mrs. Knight up just as she started to drift off to sleep.

Mrs. Knight sat up in her bed, turning on the lamp on her nightstand. She saw Katie was sound asleep, and she noticed Logan was standing in the doorway to her bedroom. She wondered what he was doing up at this time of night.

"Do you need something, Logan?" she asked.

"Um…can you take me to the hospital?" Logan replied.

That was enough to put Mrs. Knight on alert. Logan _never _asked to go to the hospital. On the rare occasions where Logan actually got hurt, he always insisted that he was fine; he always resisted going to the hospital and getting checked out. Here Logan was asking to be taken to the hospital. Something was definitely up.

"What hurts?" she inquired.

"Everything," Logan answered, his voice small.

Mrs. Knight climbed out of bed, and quickly made her way over to Logan. It was then that she noticed the tear tracks on his face. His eyes were red and puffy. He had clearly been doing a lot of crying. Mrs. Knight went to put her hand on Logan's shoulder.

"No! Don't touch me!" Logan begged.

Mrs. Knight pulled her hand back like it had just been burned. Her own eyes started to fill with tears. In all the years she had known Logan, she had never seen him so scared and vulnerable. There was no denying it; something really bad must have happened to Logan.

"Can we go to the hospital now? Please?" Logan asked timidly.

"Of course. Just let me wake the others so I can let them know what's going on and maybe have them come along," Mrs. Knight responded.

"No!"

She was surprised by the authority and conviction that was in Logan's voice as he protested. Little did she know that what he was really afraid of was that she would tell James. Not wanting to upset Logan any more than he already was, she decided to let Logan have his way.

"Okay. Come on. I'll take you to the hospital," she said.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight was pacing back and forth in the hospital waiting room. She kept anxiously glancing at the clock on the wall. How much longer would it be before she found out anything? How long had they been at the hospital? She was sick with worry. Finally, mercifully, Dr. Summers appeared in the waiting room.

"How is he?" Mrs. Knight asked as soon as she spotted Logan's doctor.

Dr. Summers kept her face guarded. She didn't want her emotions to get the better of her; to give her away. No matter how many times she saw these kinds of cases in her line of work, they never got any easier.

"You might want to have a seat for this one," Dr. Summers suggested.

Mrs. Knight widened her eyes in panic. Her heart was racing. She was already thinking the worst-case scenario. After all, doctors never told someone to have a seat, and then give them _good _news!

"What is it?" Mrs. Knight demanded, not sure if she even wanted to know.

Dr. Summers noticed how Logan's guardian refused to sit down. She couldn't really blame her though. Dr. Summers struggled to keep her composure. It was extremely difficult though. She had come to care a great deal about Logan. Dr. Summers had really gotten to know him, and he was a terrific kid with a huge heart. He certainly didn't deserve what happened to him.

"There's no easy way of saying this…" Dr. Summers started to say.

"Just say it already! I've waited long enough!" Mrs. Knight remarked.

Dr. Summers sighed. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"After examining Logan, I had to get out my SAE kit," she said.

"SAE? What's that?" Mrs. Knight responded.

"Sexual assault evidence."

Kendall's mom gasped in horror. Her knees buckled, and she fell into the nearest chair. She gripped the armrests of the chair so hard that her knuckles turned white. All the color was drained from her face.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Knight uttered.

"I regret to inform you that Logan has been sexually assaulted," Dr. Summers stated.

Logan's guardian couldn't believe her ears. This couldn't be true! This had to be some sort of sick joke! Not Logan! What kind of sick freak would do that to sweet, innocent Logan?

"Can I see him?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Of course. He's sleeping right now. I had to give him some sleeping pills to help him fall asleep," Dr. Summers explained.

Dr. Summers led Mrs. Knight to Logan's hospital room. It was frightening how many times Logan has had his own hospital room as of late. He had just been released from the hospital not too long ago too!

"Let me know if you need anything," Dr. Summers said before leaving Mrs. Knight alone with Logan.

She pulled up a chair, and sat in it. She took one of Logan's hands in hers. This was a painful reminder of how he wouldn't let anyone touch him when he was awake. She held his hand to her lips, kissing the back of his hand.

"It's going to be okay, Logan. _You _are going to be okay. Whoever did this to you will _never _touch you again! I _promise _you that!" Mrs. Knight said, her vision hazy from the countless tears she was shedding.

That's when the pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place. The _Pop Tiger _magazine cover. Logan limping. James and Logan sneaking out of the apartment. Logan not having his phone with him. James not having his phone on. Logan being sexually assaulted. Logan seeming nervous and on edge around James.

"No! It can't be!" Mrs. Knight commented.

She truly hoped she was wrong, but every fiber of her being was telling her that she was right. She thought of how James was in Apartment 2J with Kendall, Carlos, and Katie. She hastily dug through her purse in search of her cell phone. Finally finding it, she dialed Kendall on her speed dial.

The phone rang once. Twice. Three times.

"Hello?" a groggy Kendall answered.

Kendall glanced over at his alarm clock and saw it was 3:10 a.m. What was somebody doing calling him so early in the morning? Didn't they know he was trying to sleep?

"Kendall, I'm at the hospital," his mother responded.

Kendall sat up ramrod straight in his bed. Suddenly, he was as awake as could be.

"Are you okay? What are you doing at the hospital?" Kendall replied, panicking.

"It's Logan," his mother answered.

_Logan? What was Logan doing in the hospital? Is it bad that I'm glad my mom is safe? Wait a second. Logan was limping earlier, wasn't he? Did this have something to do with that? Calm down, Kendall. Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is. Yeah, maybe you're just overreacting._

"Is he hurt?" Kendall asked.

Kendall could hear his mom sobbing hysterically on the other end.

"He's been sexually assaulted," Mrs. Knight replied.

Kendall nearly dropped his cell phone after hearing that. He hoped that maybe he had just heard his mother wrong. Surely, she couldn't have said that Logan was sexually assaulted.

"Where's James?" Kendall's mom asked.

_James? Why does she want to know where James is? Hold on. No way! What was he thinking? How could he do that to Logan? Once I find James, I'm going to kill him! _

Kendall was already running down the hallway, his cell phone still pressed against his ear.

"Kendall, don't do anything rash," his mother said.

Kendall hung up on his mom without saying another word.

To Be Continued…


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: I've given new meaning to the chapter title "Big Time Sick" haven't I?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. See what would happen if I did?**

**Big Time Sick**

The closer Kendall got to the bedroom James shared with Carlos, the more worried about Carlos Kendall became. He was alone in a bedroom with James. Up until a minute or so ago, Kendall thought nothing of it, but now, Kendall was concerned for Carlos' well-being. If James could…Kendall felt bile creep up his esophagus merely by thinking about it…to Logan, then there's no telling what he might do to Carlos. Who knows what was going on with James anymore? Maybe he was some sick freak who got off taking people's virginity from them.

Carlos had girlfriends before, but never a serious girlfriend. Carlos had certainly never had sex with anyone before. In fact, he was the _only _one of his friends who still had his innocence. At least Kendall hoped so. What was he thinking? Leaving Carlos alone with James! Granted he had no idea what James had done at the time, but still!

Kendall arrived at James' bedroom and was relieved to find James and Carlos in separate beds. He breathed a huge sigh of relief when he saw that Carlos was fully clothed in his pajamas. Then a feeling of dread washed over him; what if James had done something to Carlos and dressed him afterwards?

Kendall had a difficult decision to make; what should he do first? Get his revenge on James or check on Carlos to see if he was okay? As it turned out, the decision was hardly a difficult one for Kendall to make at all. He made his way over to Carlos' bed, gently shaking him.

"Carlos, wake up," Kendall said.

Carlos' eyes cracked open, and he blinked at Kendall. He couldn't figure out what Kendall was doing waking him up like this.

"Thank goodness you're okay!" Kendall said, startling Carlos by embracing him unexpectedly.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" Carlos responded.

Carlos was surprised by how tightly Kendall was hugging him. He was too busy trying to figure out what had gotten into Kendall all of a sudden to hug him back.

"I was so worried! I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you too!" Kendall commented.

_Too? What did Kendall mean by that? Had something happened to someone else? Something bad from the sound of things? What happened? And to whom? _

"Kendall, you're starting to freak me out a little. What's going on?" Carlos replied.

Kendall let go of Carlos, and shifted his focus to James. Carlos followed Kendall's gaze, and he saw the evil intentions in his leader's green eyes.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight was racing back to The Palm Woods. She was well over the speed limit. She was running red lights. She didn't even bother turning on her turn signal. People were angrily honking their horns at her left and right, but she paid no attention to any of that. All she cared about was getting home…in time.

She regretted telling Kendall. Ever since James and Logan had been dating, there had been this animosity between James and her son. Even when it wasn't outwardly visible, it was always just underneath the surface, ready to bubble over.

Mrs. Knight was afraid of what her son might do. He already had anger management issues as it was. Sprinkle some vigilante justice on top of that, and it was an extremely dangerous combination. While she agreed that James needed to be held responsible for his horrendous actions, Kendall's solution wasn't what Mrs. Knight quite had in mind.

She didn't understand how any of this could have happened in the first place. James was a good kid. Yeah, he was a very passionate individual who often let his passion, his emotions get the best of him, but never and she meant _never _did she expect him to be capable of this!

The only thing she could come up with was that James had been scared that he would lose Logan, and didn't want that to happen. Still though, that was no excuse for doing something that Logan didn't want to do. If only James had handled the situation better, she was sure Logan would have understood, but now, it was kind of a moot point.

It was beginning to make sense to her why James snuck Logan out of the apartment. He knew that she would never allow anything like that under her roof. So he went elsewhere as if that somehow would make it okay. She thought they were far too young to be having that kind of a relationship with one another. She remembered how her first time was in her early twenties with her _then _husband.

That was the thing. She had been married when she first had sex. She was much older than James and Logan were too. She couldn't help but feel like James jumped the gun a bit. She couldn't really fault Logan because it was obvious that he had no say in the matter.

She then thought of Joanna, Logan's mother. How in the world was she supposed to tell one of her best friends about this? She deserved to know. That much was for sure. Logan was her baby boy. He was her pride and joy.

Next she thought of Brooke Diamond, James' mother. She would need to know too, but this would undoubtedly ruin her relationship with James. Jennifer hated to do that because Brooke's husband had left her for a younger woman. James was all she had left. Well that wasn't entirely true; she had Jennifer, Joanna, and Sylvia too.

XXXXX

Carlos watched as Kendall strode over to James' bedside with a purpose. He saw Kendall wrap his hands around James' throat and start to strangle him. Carlos hopped out of bed, and immediately tried to pull Kendall off James. James' eyes flew open in terror. His hands instantly found Kendall's as he tried to pry them off his windpipes. He could see the sheer hatred in Kendall's eyes, unlike anything James had ever seen before.

"Kendall, stop it! You're hurting him!" Carlos exclaimed, not knowing what had gotten into Kendall.

"That's the idea!" Kendall remarked as he continued to throttle James.

Kendall relished in the fear in James' alarmed eyes. He rather enjoyed the feeling of James' windpipes being crushed beneath his bare hands. This had been a long time coming too. Now more than ever Kendall finally had a good enough reason to get this out of his system.

Carlos hated when his friends fought. He was terribly confused. Sure the four of them had fought with one another, but Carlos couldn't remember a time when it had ever been _this _bad. He really believed that Kendall wanted to _kill _James, and that scared Carlos to no end. He was scared for James, and he was scared of Kendall.

"Kendall, what's gotten into you?" Carlos asked, as he desperately tried to remove Kendall's paws from James' throat.

"Tell him!" Kendall demanded of James.

Carlos looked at James expectantly. What exactly was it that Kendall wanted James to tell him?

"I did it! I hurt Logan!" James said in a choked voice.

"So he can hear you!" Kendall ordered, strangling James even harder.

"I. Hurt. Logan."

Just like that, Carlos stopped trying to get Kendall to stop choking James. Carlos covered his mouth with his hand as he retreated a few paces from James. The disappointment in Carlos' eyes was crystal clear.

Carlos shook his head in disbelief. He kept saying one word: "No," over and over again. He remembered Logan limping. He recalled James' icy behavior towards him. He couldn't believe that James was the one who harmed Logan. Carlos didn't _want _to believe that!

James hated how disappointed Carlos was in him. He and Carlos had always been really close. In many ways, they were the same person. That was probably why they got along so well; they shared a lot of common ground. Now though Carlos was scared of James, and it killed James to see. He would _never _hurt Carlos! Then again, once upon a time, he thought he would never hurt Logan, and look what happened.

"What is going on here?" Katie asked, popping up out of nowhere.

She saw a petrified looking Carlos. She saw her big brother choking the living daylights out of James.

"Kendall, what are you doing? Let go of him!" Katie screamed.

"Katie, take Carlos, and go to your room. Don't come out until I tell you it's okay," Kendall instructed.

Katie didn't know what was going on, but she wasn't just going to wait in her room while Kendall murdered James. Whatever James had done, surely it couldn't be as bad as Kendall was making it out to be.

"Fine! As soon as you stop trying to kill James!" Katie replied.

"He deserves it! He deserves to die!" Kendall commented.

"What? Why?"

"He forced himself on Logan! He put him in a hospital!"

Katie couldn't even form a coherent response. She was reeling from the pipe bomb that had just been dropped. She had been wrong about James. She felt like such an idiot. She thought there was some logical explanation for James sneaking Logan out of the apartment, but there was nothing logical about what James had done. She could no longer even stand the sight of James.

Carlos staggered backwards a few paces, coming into contact with his bed, and nearly toppling over it. Fresh, hot tears cascaded from his eyes. How could James do that to Logan? Carlos thought he knew James, but as it turned out, he didn't know James at all. He ran from the room in tears.

"I'll make sure he's okay," Katie said to her big brother, as he chased after Carlos.

XXXXX

An emotionally distraught Carlos ran past Mrs. Knight in the lobby; Katie hot on his tail.

"Carlos, wait!" Katie called out.

Mrs. Knight thought it was safe to say that they knew about what happened. As much as she wanted to check on both of them to see how they were holding up, there were more pressing matters; namely seeing to it that Kendall doesn't do anything to James that could get him thrown in juvie.

As soon as she reached the apartment, she immediately knew where to look: James' bedroom. She quickly entered the room.

Kendall bashed the back of James' head into the headboard, smashing it in two, splinters embedding themselves in James' skull. He balled his hands into fists and threw haymaker after haymaker at James' face that he loved so much. The sickening sound of bone on bone filled the room.

Mrs. Knight was horrified by how much damage Kendall had already inflicted on James. Blood trickled down James' neck from where Kendall's fingernails penetrated the delicate skin of James' throat. Clearly at some point, Kendall had strangled James. James had a bloody nose, a black eye, and a cut lip. A thin ribbon of crimson dribbled out of the corner of James' mouth.

"Kendall, that's enough!" Mrs. Knight screamed at her son.

"But Mom, he…" Kendall started to protest.

"Kendall Donald Knight, I said that's enough!"

Kendall gave a frustrated sigh as he begrudgingly backed away from James, who was struggling to stay conscious. He watched as his mother stormed over to James, raised her hand in the air, and slapped James hard across the cheek. It sounded more like a cannon had just been fired.

"Get your stuff and get out! Don't you _ever_ come back! And you better stay away from Logan or so help me God…" Mrs. Knight threatened.

"But where am I supposed to go?" James responded, horrified at the thought of being homeless.

"I don't know, and I don't care! Actually, here's an idea! Why don't you go live with the mother of your child? You two deserve each other!"

James knew better than to look to Kendall for backup. He knew that he was all alone on this one. Everyone hated him. Mama Knight hated him. Kendall hated him. Katie hated him. Even Carlos hated him. As much as they all hated James, no one hated him more than Logan, except for maybe James himself.

XXXXX

James wheeled his suitcase behind him as he came to a stop at the one place James never thought in a million years he would end up. He held his hand in the air, and rapped his knuckles on the door. Within seconds, the door opened, revealing an ecstatic-looking Trishelle who was already starting to show.

She loved it when a plan came together. When she originally set this particular plan in motion, she never anticipated it would work out as well as it did. James came to her! He actually _voluntarily _came to her! Based on the extensive damage to his face, there was no way he was going to be returning to Apartment 2J anytime soon. In fact, if Trishelle had her way, James would have no reason to leave her and his son or daughter at all.

James really had no other choice. He couldn't go back to Minnesota to be with his mom. If she didn't know about what happened, she soon would. James knew that it would only bring up old wounds for her. James' father left James' mother when he got a much younger woman knocked up. Even though this situation was different because James still refused to believe that he got Trishelle pregnant, he knew that his mother wouldn't see it that way. Just like practically everyone else James cared about, she would be disappointed in him.

"Is it okay if I stay with you for a bit?" James asked.

Trishelle threw her arms around James, sighing blissfully. As if he even needed to ask.

To Be Continued…


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Yes! Doppelganger is winning in the poll on my profile page! I know I'm not supposed to have favorites or root for one over the others, but…Oh, and this story is entering the final stretch! That makes me happy and sad all at the same time.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Griffin had asked James to come to Rocque Records for a chat. When James asked if the rest of Big Time Rush were coming, Griffin had said that it would only be James. He had a bad feeling about this. It wasn't long before he found himself in Griffin's office.

"You said you wanted to see me," James said.

"Yes, I'm sure you've seen the newest issue of _Pop Tiger_ by now," Griffin responded.

He tossed a copy of said magazine on the desk in front of James. The cover page with James' photo facing him. James had a hunch that was what this meeting was going to be about.

"I'm kicking you out of the band," Griffin stated.

"You can't do that!" James exclaimed, completely beside himself.

Griffin reclined in his chair with his hands behind his head.

"I'm the CEO of RCM CBT Globalnet Sanyoid. I'm the fourth most powerful CEO in the world. I can pretty much do anything I want. Besides, the last thing I want is for a scandal like this to tarnish the name of my company," Griffin commented.

"I'm not even the father! She's lying!" James said, raising his voice.

Griffin sat up and sighed.

"Whether you are or aren't, it doesn't matter. The story is out there. It's already generating a buzz. This is the second time you've been at the center of a scandal. I'm afraid you've become too much of a liability," Griffin said.

"You need me! They need me! Big Time Rush needs me!" James remarked.

Griffin scoffed.

"You've got talent, yes, but do you think you are the only one? There are tons of young men and women who have just as much talent if not more than you who would do anything to take your place. Or I could just make the executive decision to have Big Time Rush become a trio if I so chose," Griffin replied.

James was crushed. His hopes and dreams were being crushed right in front of him, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. What was he supposed to do now? Becoming a famous pop star was his dream! His only dream! He wasn't good at anything else!

"Griffin, please reconsider. Give me another chance!" James begged.

"That _was _your second chance!" Griffin retorted.

"Then give me a third chance! What happened to three strikes and you're out? I haven't got my third strike yet!"

Griffin rose from his chair. He didn't seem the least bit affected by James' frazzled state.

"We're done here. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to change my pants. They're cold," Griffin said before he and his ever-present two lackeys left the office.

James sank to his knees, his eyes filling with tears. He couldn't believe this. He was struggling to catch his breath. How could this be happening?

XXXXX

It was Logan's first day back from the hospital. It broke everyone's heart to see the shell of his former self that Logan had been reduced to. He wouldn't let _anyone_ touch him. He wouldn't even let anyone get anywhere near him. The rare times he spoke, he never made eye contact with the person he was speaking to. He was always looking down; he never looked up.

Even though everyone knew what happened to Logan, he wouldn't admit it to anyone. He especially wouldn't tell anyone that James was responsible. He was afraid what James might do to him if he were to tell people and James somehow found out. Logan didn't even like to think about what happened. It was far too painful for him to relive, but it was much too difficult for him to forget about.

"We're so glad to have you home with us where you belong," Mrs. Knight said, wanting to give Logan a great big comforting hug, but settling for standing ten feet away from him and giving him a warm smile that Logan didn't even see.

Logan noticed how they were all there: Kendall, Carlos, Katie, and Mama Knight. There was someone missing though. Logan was confused by this. It didn't make any sense to him. He still lived with them, didn't he?

"W-where's J-James?" Logan asked.

Kendall balled his hands into fists upon hearing Logan mention James' name. He had never felt more disdain towards someone as he felt towards James. As far as Kendall was concerned, he would _never _forgive James for what he did to Logan.

"He doesn't live here anymore, Logie, and he'll never touch you again!" Kendall promised.

"Y-you k-kicked h-him out? W-why w-would y-you d-do th-that?" Logan stuttered, his voice hardly audible.

Kendall threw his hands up in frustration. This was unbelievable! Did Logan actually think they were going to allow James to continue living with them, with _him_ after the crap he pulled?

Logan saw that Kendall was growing angry, and cautiously backed away from him. Kendall saw this, and immediately tried to calm himself down. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten Logan.

"I kicked him out," Mrs. Knight said, stepping forward. "I'm your guardian, Logan. As such, I have to look out for your best interests, your well-being. You shouldn't be around someone like James; not after what he did to you."

Even now, Logan still wouldn't come out and admit that James did anything to him. He pretty much avoided the subject entirely.

Carlos saw how this was starting to upset Logan. He could see Logan's eyes start to fill with tears again. Carlos was desperate to change the subject. Maybe if he did, Logan wouldn't be so sad.

"You're probably exhausted. Come on. I'll walk you to your room," Carlos said.

He made one crucial mistake though. He walked right up to Logan, draping an arm over his shoulder. Logan immediately flinched from the contact, before batting Carlos' arm away, and cowering from him.

Carlos tried to stay strong, but it was so hard. He missed the days where he could drape an arm over Logan's shoulder, and Logan wouldn't think anything of it. Carlos yearned for those days. It devastated Carlos that Logan was even afraid of him. He held his hands up innocently, hopefully showing Logan that he meant no harm.

"I d-don't n-need any h-help," Logan stammered, before he broke into a brisk jog, and got away from everyone and everybody.

The others heard Logan's bedroom door close softly, and then they heard it being locked from the inside. Carlos' bottom lip quivered. Tears were already rolling down his cheeks. He took off for his own room.

"Carlos!" Kendall called after him, but he was already long gone. Unlike Logan, Carlos slammed his door shut, before locking it as well.

XXXXX

"Oh, James," Brooke Diamond said as she was talking to her son on the phone.

He had just told his mother how he got kicked out of the band and kicked out of the apartment. He purposefully left out the part about him raping Logan for obvious reasons. However, he did say that he had no choice but to stay with the girl who claimed he was her baby's daddy.

"What am I supposed to do now?" James asked.

Brooke was confused. All James had said was that he had a falling out with the others. They got into the worst fight they had ever been in. What he didn't say was what the fight was about. Brooke didn't want to pry though. Just by listening to her son on the phone, she could tell that this was a sensitive subject.

"I don't know what to tell you," his mother replied honestly. "Just take it one day at a time."

James thoughts drifted to Logan. His heart ached. He felt incomplete without Logan. He hated how now that he wasn't seeing Logan everyday, it almost was like he was having a hard time remembering him. It was the little things that James fought desperately to remember about Logan; the sound of his voice, his trademark dimpled smile, his face, the way he laughed.

"I miss him, Mom. I miss Logan. I love him so much," James admitted.

"And I'm sure he misses you too, sweetie," Brooke responded.

Somehow, James doubted that. In fact, he was pretty sure Logan no longer wanted to see him for the rest of his life. He couldn't really blame Logan either for that. James allowed himself to get carried away, and he took things too far. If he had a time machine, he would go back and do it all over again in a heartbeat. Only this time, he wouldn't hurt Logan in the absolute worst way possible.

Trishelle came out of nowhere, snatched James' cell phone out of his hand, and ended the call he was having with his mother. James was livid.

"What was that for?" James demanded.

"Who were you talking to?" Trishelle shot back.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I was talking to my mom!"

Trishelle was relieved. She was worried he might be talking to one of his _former _housemates; trying to worm his way back into their lives. She couldn't allow that. James was supposed to stay here with her. End of story.

"I'm going to have a sonogram done, and you're coming with me," Trishelle said.

"Yeah, I don't think so!" James replied.

"Let me rephrase that. Either you come with me, or you find somewhere else to stay."

She wouldn't have made an ultimatum like that unless she knew with absolute certainty that he wouldn't turn her down.

"I'll go grab my coat," James said.

XXXXX

Logan's mother had flown in from Minnesota to visit her son. Jennifer had told Joanna all about what had happened, and what Logan was like now. The hope was that having his mother with him would help.

Joanna Mitchell knocked on the door to Apartment 2J. Mrs. Knight opened the door. The two best friends hugged one another.

"Thanks for coming," Jennifer said.

"Where is he?" Mrs. Mitchell asked.

"He's in his room."

In no time at all, she was knocking on her son's bedroom door, which was still locked. This alone wasn't like Logan at all. He never locked his bedroom door, so even if she hadn't had been told what happened, she would still know that something was wrong.

"Hortense? Honey, it's me," she said.

Joanna heard the door being unlocked as Logan opened the door, letting her in. There was something symbolic about that gesture too. Joanna searched for a sign of that familiar spark in her son's eyes, but his eyes were dull and lifeless.

Mrs. Mitchell wanted to do nothing more but hold her son, her baby boy in her arms. She just wasn't sure if he'd allow even her to be that intimate with him. However, she came to the conclusion that there was only one way to find out. She gathered her only child in her arms.

She was relieved when Logan allowed her to hug him. Her eyes filled with tears when he took it a step further; he hugged her back.

"I miss him," Logan said in a pitiful voice.

Joanna Mitchell didn't even need to ask who it was that her son missed. She knew. He knew she knew.

"That's pretty stupid all things considered, huh?" Logan asked, his voice small.

She held him even closer to her yet. She didn't really know what she was doing. Something like this wasn't in any parenting guide. But she hoped that she was at least doing a decent job.

"No, sweetie. No, it's not. James has been a huge part of your life for many years. I think it would only be stupid if you _didn't_ miss him," Logan's mom commented.

Logan wasn't sure what to make of how his mother was reacting to this news. He kind of pegged her as behaving in a similar fashion as Kendall and Mama Knight. Logan knew many things, but he didn't know who was reacting the right way. Maybe it wasn't as black and white as that; maybe there was no right and wrong.

"He's not a bad person. I know him, Mom, and he's not," Logan said, his voice just above a whisper yet.

Not really knowing how to handle a situation like this, Mrs. Mitchell was kind of taking her cues from her son. Right now, her best course of action seemed to be to agree with her son, and not talk bad about James. So that's what she did.

"I know, Hortense. I know. I also know that he loves you very much. Wherever he is, I am sure that he misses you too," Joanna said.

Logan pulled away from his mother's embrace, and looked at her with hopeful eyes. Words couldn't even begin to describe how incredible it was to see _something_ in her son's eyes for a change.

"Do you really think so?" Logan asked.

"Of course I do! James just made a mistake. There is no doubt in my mind that he feels tremendously sorry about what he did to you," Joanna responded.

"A mistake? A mistake! You have got to be kidding me! What that sorry excuse for a human being did to Logan was no mistake! Locking your keys in the car is a mistake. Taking the wrong exit ramp is a mistake. What _he_ did to _your _son was no mistake!" Kendall exclaimed. After all, this was _his_ room too.

In the blink of an eye, one couldn't even tell that Joanna Mitchell had made any progress with her son. He retreated from both his mom and Kendall. He sat on the floor with his back pressed up against his bed. He pulled his knees to his chest as he hugged them. He rocked himself back and forth, sobbing the whole time.

"What are you doing?" Joanna asked Kendall. "Hortense still loves James."

Kendall did a double take.

"Then he's an idiot!" Kendall remarked.

Joanna marched over to Kendall, standing toe-to-toe with him even though he towered over her.

"Don't you dare talk about _my _son like that!" she warned.

"Don't tell me what to do! You're not my mother!" Kendall retorted.

"Stop it! Stop fighting! Please…" Logan cried out.

They both went to comfort Logan, but Mrs. Mitchell held Kendall back.

"I'll take care of him," she said.

Kendall watched with envy as Logan allowed his mother to hold him and comfort him. He longed to be able to hold Logan and comfort Logan, but for some reason, he wouldn't let Kendall anywhere near him. The only person he seemed to let near him was his mom.

To Be Continued…


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: I hope everyone had a merry Christmas!**

**Disclaimer: Well, I didn't get the rights to Big Time Rush for Christmas. So, I guess that means I still don't own Big Time Rush.**

**Big Time Sick**

James and Trishelle were at the doctor's office having a sonogram done. It would be the first time they would get to hear the baby's heartbeat. It would be the first time they would get to see the baby. This was a very important day for any expecting mother, but James was along for the ride only because Trishelle _made _him come.

As far as he was concerned, James didn't care what that _thing_ was; boy or girl. James knew that it wasn't really his kid anyways, so he felt no sort of connection or attachment to it. Then he had a troubling thought; he might not even be around for the birth of the baby anyways because James might not even live to see it.

He felt bad for the _thing_ though. Having _Trishelle _for a mother and all. Even if she did give the thing all the love it deserved, it didn't change the fact that Trishelle was _not_ mother material; she was _not _a good role model.

As for James, he wasn't ready to be a father, and he didn't _want _to be a father. A part of James hoped that Trishelle wouldn't keep the baby. If he was being perfectly honest with himself, James didn't really care whether that meant Trishelle got an abortion _or_ she put the baby up for adoption. Somehow he just knew that Trishelle was going to keep the baby though.

James knew why too. He was fully aware of Trishelle's delusion that the three of them would be one big, happy family. There were a couple of problems with that though. One, James didn't love Trishelle. Two, James didn't love the thing growing inside of her either.

"This will feel a little cold," the female nurse said as she applied some sort of gel to Trishelle's baby bump.

She shivered. Even though she had been warned about the gel's temperature, she didn't know when to expect it. The nurse hadn't been kidding about it being cold either.

The nurse moved the device over Trishelle's stomach in an attempt to pick up on the baby's heartbeat. The room was dead silent. An expecting mother's worst fear was having a miscarriage. Trishelle hoped the nurse would be able to pick up a heartbeat because that would mean the baby boy or baby girl was still alive. She waited with bated breath.

Then, there was a rhythmic thumping. Trishelle's eyes lit up with joy as did the female nurse's. James tried to remain indifferent, but hearing the thing's heartbeat was starting to weaken his resolve.

XXXXX

Gustavo had called Kendall, Carlos, and Logan into Rocque Records to tell them about James being kicked out of the group, and to discuss the future of Big Time Rush. Gustavo seemed…_different_. It was like he was less intimidating or something, which the boys couldn't figure out.

"Wait a second. Where's James?" Logan asked, noticing how they were short one band member.

Kendall clenched his teeth upon hearing Logan mention James' name. Not just that though; it was _how_ Logan mentioned James' name too. If Kendall didn't know any better, he would think that Logan still missed James. That would be ridiculous though, right? After everything James had done to Logan, there was _no_ way Logan could miss James, right?

Kelly noticed how something was off with Kendall, Carlos, and Logan as well. Logan seemed to be standing off to the side, apart from Kendall and Carlos. He seemed really…Kelly didn't know how best to describe it; _timid_, perhaps?

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you dogs about," Gustavo replied. "James is no longer a part of Big Time Rush."

"Good! After what James did to Logan, I don't want him anywhere near Logan!" Kendall remarked.

Kelly and Gustavo both gave each other confused looks. What was Kendall talking about? What did James do to Logan? They had been talking about the latest issue of _Pop Tiger_ magazine.

"What do you mean 'After what James did to Logan?'" Kelly inquired.

"Nothing! He means nothing!" Logan exclaimed.

Kendall turned to face Logan. He threw his hands up in frustration. Logan could tell that Kendall wasn't a very happy camper. If it wasn't for Kelly and Gustavo being in the room, he would've backed away out of fear, but he didn't want them to know something they clearly didn't.

"Will you quit acting like it was nothing? It wasn't nothing! It was _far_ from nothing!" Kendall commented.

"Stop fighting!" Carlos begged Kendall and Logan.

Logan held his hands up innocently.

"I'm not fighting with anybody," he said. "Kendall's just jumping down my throat."

"Okay, does somebody want to tell me what's going on here?" Gustavo asked.

XXXXX

As if hearing the thing's heartbeat wasn't bad enough, James had to also see the _thing_ too. As much as James wanted to tear his eyes away, his eyes were riveted to the monitor as were Trishelle's. It turned out that the _thing_ was a _boy_.

James and Trishelle could see all ten of his little fingers and toes. They could make out his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth. They also noticed his tiny penis and scrotum, the two things that definitely made him a _him_.

Trishelle's eyes were filling with tears. She was going to give birth to a baby boy. She would have a son. Things were completely different now that the sex had been determined. Before, the fetus was an abstract concept. No one really knew what to call it. But now, everything had changed. They could start referring to it as "him" now.

James thought it was the most amazing thing in the world that something so small and innocent could be growing inside of Trishelle. Before this sonogram, James thought he could go along feeling nothing towards the child. He had been perfectly content doing that for the whole duration of Trishelle's pregnancy. Now all James cared about was that nothing went wrong during the pregnancy; that he was born a healthy little boy. Sure Trishelle was a vixen, but the little tyke _deserved_ to live. He had never done anything wrong to anybody, unlike _both _of his parents.

James shook his head. He had to remind himself that he _wasn't _the father of the child. It was strange. James knew he wasn't ready to be a father. He didn't think he would even make a good father. However, as horrible of a father he might be, he surely would be a better parent than _Trishelle_ ever could be. James actually felt bad for the little boy for having Trishelle for a mother.

"Can you believe it, James? It's a boy! We're going to have a boy!" Trishelle said happily, grabbing James' hand, and holding onto it.

James didn't know why, but he _let_ Trishelle hold his hand. It wasn't that he suddenly cared about her. It wasn't that he had developed feelings for her. In his eyes, she was still a despicable human being. It was just that the _only _thing James cared about in the room was the little boy that was growing inside of her. James didn't want to leave the little guy with _just _Trishelle looking after him.

XXXXX

"So James is out of Big Time Rush. Is that the only thing you called us here to tell us?" Logan asked, quick to change the subject.

Gustavo and Kelly both thought Logan's behavior was suspicious. He couldn't have been more obvious about changing the subject; he couldn't have been more obvious about dodging Gustavo's question. Gustavo and Kelly both wondered what that was all about.

Logan just wanted to leave already. The more time he spent around Gustavo and Kelly, the more worried he became that they would find out about James…well, they would find out about what James did to Logan.

Kendall was all for telling Gustavo and Kelly about what had happened. He was all for them finally realizing what a pathetic excuse for a human being James really was. Kendall wanted Gustavo and Kelly to hate James. James _deserved_ to be hated. The only thing keeping Kendall from spilling the beans was Logan. As it was, Kendall's relationship with Logan was already strained. Kendall didn't want to do anything that might cost him his friendship with Logan entirely.

Carlos felt like he was stuck in the middle. He just wanted everyone to get along. He was mad at James for hurting Logan the way he did, but like Logan, Carlos missed James too. He missed the way things _used_ to be. He wanted it to be the _four_ of them again like it _should_ be. He just didn't know how to make that happen, and he doubted anyone else would help him make that happen, except for maybe Logan. Carlos was reluctant to openly side with Loganthough because he didn't want Kendall mad at him. Carlos hated it when people were mad at him.

"No. I also wanted to ask you dogs what you think we should do about Big Time Rush. Should we replace James? Or should we just have it be a three-member group? Should we even continue at all, or is Big Time Rush dead?" Gustavo asked.

Logan stared at his feet. This was like déjà vu all over again. Hadn't they already tried being a band without James? If memory served him, it didn't work…at all. Logan felt like James was the most talented member of the band. He felt like they would be hard pressed replacing James. Logan didn't _want_ to replace James either. But he also didn't want to go on without him either.

Kendall didn't think they necessarily needed a fourth member. Besides, if they were to get a fourth member, he wouldn't have the chemistry with the rest of his band mates that Kendall, Carlos, and Logan had with each other. It would just feel…_weird_. Thus, Kendall was all for just having Big Time Rush be a three-member band.

Carlos couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe any of this. Here they were talking about replacing James, going on without James, or ending Big Time Rush altogether. Times have certainly changed, and Carlos didn't like it one bit. Frankly, Carlos didn't like _any _of those options. What Carlos wanted was a happy ending. He wanted James back in the band. He wanted all of their friendships to be repaired. He wanted James and Logan to work things out and get back together because they loved each other, and two people who love each other _should _be together.

"Maybe you would like some time to think about it," Kelly stated.

"I suppose that's okay. Sleep on it. I want an answer first thing in the morning though. We either need to press on or end it, but we can't just continue to do nothing at all," Gustavo commented.

XXXXX

James and Trishelle went back to The Palm Woods only to find James' mom waiting for them outside Trishelle's apartment. James was surprised. His mother hadn't mentioned anything about coming for a visit.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" James asked, running into his mother's open arms.

Trishelle watched from the sidelines as James and his mother embraced one another. What she wouldn't give to have James embrace her. He wouldn't even touch her though. Even back at the doctor's office, _she _had to take _his _hand!

Brooke Diamond let go of her son, strode over to Trishelle, and slapped her across the face.

"Get your hooks out of my son!" Mrs. Diamond said menacingly.

James' body tensed with worry. He wasn't concerned with Trishelle's well-being. James could care less about that. He was just worried that his mother might do something to harm the baby; something that might jeopardize his chances of being born.

"Mom!" James scolded. "She's pregnant!"

"Are you _defending _her?" Brooke asked incredulously.

James shook his head, causing Trishelle to shift uncomfortably.

"Of course not! I just don't want you to do anything to make her have a miscarriage or something. The little baby boy growing inside of her deserves to live," James responded.

Brooke Diamond was caught off guard by her son's unexpected behavior. It was like he viewed himself as the baby boy's father or something. She could tell that James was willing to do anything and everything to protect the baby boy. Brooke Diamond could certainly relate to that. It was how she felt about James. It was why she flew out to Los Angeles in the first place.

"It's not even your kid!" James' mom exclaimed.

"Well it _could _be!" James retorted.

"How? You two never even had sex!"

This was a major eye opener for Trishelle. Here she thought she had covered all of her bases. Here she thought nothing could surprise her. Here she thought she had everything all planned out. One thing she hadn't counted on was James' mom entering the equation. It was one thing to fool James, to manipulate James, but it was something entirely different to fool James' mother, to manipulate James' mother.

"I know, but I still want to be a part of that little boy's life! I want to raise him!" James said with conviction.

"Honey, I love you, but you are _not _ready to be a father! Besides, how are you going to raise a baby when you don't even have a job?" Brooke asked.

That got Trishelle's attention.

"Hold on. You don't have a job? What about Big Time Rush?" Trishelle asked James.

"I got kicked out because of this whole baby daddy thing," James answered.

Now Trishelle was backtracking. She loved James, but not _that _much. If he couldn't provide for her kid, then he was of no use to her. Her little boy deserved to have anything and everything he would ever possibly need. Her little boy deserved to be spoiled. It was now clear to her that James couldn't make that happen.

"You're not even the father! I lied. I only made you think you were the father because I wanted your money. You and I never even had sex. I only agreed to let you live with me because I thought you had money, and I thought we could all be one big, happy family. Now that you don't have money, you can't stay here anymore," Trishelle said.

James wasn't shocked by what Trishelle had said. He knew he wasn't the father. He knew he never did it with her. He knew she dreamt of the three of them living happily ever after. What he never saw coming was her coming clean about all of it.

Of course, Trishelle had conveniently left out the parts about her being behind every scandalous article in _Pop Tiger _ever printed about James. She had failed to own up to her single-handedly ruining James' relationship with Logan.

James felt like someone had just died on him. He had grown to care about the little boy growing inside of Trishelle. He had longed to be a part of that child's life. That little guy was supposed to bring out the best in James. He was supposed to make James a better person. Now, it was like the rug had been ripped out from underneath his feet. Now, he wouldn't even _be_ in that little boy's life at all. James didn't know how to deal with such loss.

"Come on, James. Let's go," Brooke said to her son.

The mother and son were on their way to the parking lot. As they were making their way through the lobby, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were just entering it. James and Logan saw one another for the first time since Mrs. Knight had kicked James out of 2J.

To Be Continued…


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Big Time Sick**

"James," Logan said softly.

James didn't want to get his hopes up, but to him, it sounded almost as though Logan was _happy _to see him; it sounded almost as though Logan had _missed _him. James longed for this to be the case because he was _happy _to see Logan too; he had _missed _Logan too.

"Logan," James responded.

Kendall took up a protective stance in front of Logan. James looked over at Carlos and saw that he had an apprehensive look on his face, almost like he was worried this might break into a fight. James didn't know for sure, but he felt as though it certainly could.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" Logan asked, his eyes shining with curiosity.

"Back to Minnesota with my mom, I guess," James answered.

"Stay, James. Please? For me?"

"Logan!" Kendall exclaimed incredulously.

Kendall didn't understand Logan at all sometimes, and this was one of those times. Had he already forgotten what James had done to him? He forcefully took Logan's v-card. Logan wore long-sleeved shirts and shirts that didn't have a low neckline, and Kendall knew why too; Logan was trying to hide the bruises that James had given him, but Kendall knew better.

"But where will I stay? I have no place to go," James commented.

Logan started to walk over to James, but Kendall threw up his arm, effectively stopping his advance.

"That's easy. Come back and live with us," Logan replied.

Kendall turned his head to face Logan.

"Are you insane?" Kendall commented, starting to lose his cool.

Logan ducked his head as he shrank back from Kendall. He knew that Kendall could get pretty scary when he got angry. Logan wasn't sure what he did to make Kendall mad, but he knew that he most definitely was mad.

James flinched when he saw how frightened Logan had become. Sure, Logan had always been "so scared of everything," but not _everyone_. James knew that he was to blame for that too. If Logan was uneasy around people now, it was all because of what James had done to him.

"But Kendall," Logan said. "You heard what James said; he doesn't have anywhere else to go."

"Yes he does! It's called Minnesota!" Kendall retorted, turning his face to glare daggers at James. "Besides, my mom and I would never allow James to live under the same roof as you, Logan."

Carlos had been silent throughout all of this. He was trying to find the right moment to speak, but the longer he waited, the less he knew what even to say. The last thing Carlos wanted was for anyone to be mad at him. However, there was still a chance that if he continued to stay silent, people would get mad at him anyways for not speaking up. He took a deep breath.

"Logie's not the only one who wants James to move back in with us. I want that too," Carlos stated, stepping forward.

Kendall rounded on Carlos, utter disbelief written all over his face.

"Carlos, quit being stupid! You just want everyone to get along. You just want things to go back to the way you used to be. Believe me, I want that as well, but I can't ignore what James did to Logan!" Kendall commented.

Carlos cringed at Kendall calling him stupid. He didn't think he was stupid. He didn't think he was nearly as smart as Logan, but then who was?

"But he's _sorry_! Right, James? You're sorry," Carlos retorted.

"_So _sorry," James responded.

Kendall scoffed.

"Right, and that fixes everything," Kendall said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Brooke Diamond was troubled by something Kendall had said just a little bit ago. Something about James doing something to Logan. From her understanding, James and Logan just had a falling out, so what was this about her son doing something to Logan?

"Hold on. What _did _you do to Logan, James?" Mrs. Diamond asked.

"You mean you haven't told her, James?" Kendall asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Kendall, don't. I know you hate me, and you have every right to, but please don't do this," James begged.

Brooke Diamond arched her well-groomed eyebrows in confusion. She looked at Kendall, wordlessly telling him to continue.

"James _raped _Logan," Kendall said.

James' mother gasped in horror, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. Her eyes quickly filled with tears as she turned to face the person she _thought _was her son. Now she finally understood why Jennifer had kicked James out. Now she got why Kendall hated James. She liked it better when she had been in the dark though.

"I thought you were different, but I couldn't have been more wrong. You're _just_ like your father!" James' mom said to her son.

James' dad took Brooke's virginity when he forced himself on her. Only three people knew about this: James' dad, James' mom, and James himself. James' father was a very sexual being. It was practically all he thought about. It's why Brooke _let_ him leave her. Not only did he get a much younger woman pregnant, but the two of them were only good in the bed; they didn't have a deeper connection.

Tears sprung to James' eyes.

"No! Mom, I'm not! I swear! I was just scared that Logan would hate me once he saw that issue of _Pop Tiger_, so I knew I had to act fast! I planned this grand romantic gesture for him, but I never counted on him not wanting to do what I wanted to do! Even though I knew he didn't want to, I forced myself on him anyways because I'm dying and might not ever get a chance like this again! But I _love_ Logan, Mom! I promise!" James exclaimed, desperation in his voice.

Out of all the things James had just said, the part that Logan focused on was the part where James said that he loved him. Logan was touched. He felt the same way about James. He was just glad that the feeling was mutual.

Kendall hated to admit it, but he was starting to understand why James did what he did. He still thought James should have went about it a better way, but strangely enough, he felt a swell of sympathy for James.

Carlos was elated that James said that he loved Logan. Frankly, after hearing what James did to Logan, _that _was the thing Carlos wondered the most about. He tried not to cry, but he couldn't help it. Carlos felt so bad for Logan _and _James. They deserved a lifetime of happiness together, but they didn't have that long. Carlos wished that he could donate his liver to James so that he could live happily ever after with Logan.

"I don't know who you are, but you are _not _my son! I raised you better than this!" Brooke remarked.

"Mom! Please!" James replied.

"Don't call me that! As far as I'm concerned, I no longer have a son!"

Brooke Diamond stormed out of the lobby. James reached out towards her with his hand, it remained suspended in mid-air. His knees buckled on him, and he fell to the ground. He buried his face in his hands and wept.

Logan got down on the floor, and wrapped his arms around a shaking James. The next thing either boy knew, the embrace had turned into a three-person hug as Carlos joined the pair as well.

Kendall stood there awkwardly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Just because he was starting to understand _why _James did what he did, it didn't mean that he _forgave _James for it. While he felt bad because he had just witnessed James' mom disown James, Logan and Carlos seemed to have the situation under control. They didn't need him too.

"Kendall?" James said in the most pitiful sounding voice Kendall had ever heard.

Though Kendall didn't respond to him verbally or non-verbally, James continued anyways.

"Please forgive me. I know you don't trust me, but if it's not too much to ask for, can I at least have your forgiveness? I promise to spend however many days I have left trying to earn your trust. I promise I won't hurt Logan again. Please, Kendall. I just lost a mother. I can't lose you too," James sobbed.

"You can't lose what you never had," Kendall responded. "Your promises mean _nothing _to me, James! Do you hear me? You want my forgiveness? Read my lips when I say that I will _never _forgive you!"

Kendall stalked off leaving Carlos, Logan, and James on the floor holding onto each other as James cried his eyes out.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight was surprised when she walked into the living room and saw Logan, James, and Carlos sitting on the couch together.

"What is he doing here? What are you doing here?" Mrs. Knight asked James.

"We want James to move back in with us," Carlos said.

Mrs. Knight looked at Logan.

"Is this true? Is this what you want, Logan?" she asked.

"It is," Logan answered without a second's hesitation.

Today had thrown everything into perspective for Logan. He was reminded that James didn't have much longer to live. Shouldn't they be cherishing what little time they had left together? He would never forget what James did to him. He wasn't sure if he would even forgive James. He missed James though. He loved James. James loved and missed him too. That's all that really mattered.

"Not that I'm agreeing to let James move back in, but _if _he were to, where would he stay?" Mrs. Knight questioned.

"He can room with me like old times," Carlos answered.

"The hell he will!" Kendall remarked, walking into the living room.

Kendall didn't trust James to share a bedroom with Carlos. He certainly didn't trust James to share a bedroom with Logan. He shouldn't be sharing a room with anyone anyways. He shouldn't even be moving back in, period.

"Fine, then I'll room with Logie, and you can room with James," Carlos said to Kendall, undeterred.

"It's the only way," Logan pointed out.

Logan was right. Kendall hated it when Logan was right. Kendall wasn't going to let James sleep in the same room as Carlos or Logan. He didn't trust James to sleep on the couch in the living room because he might get up in the middle of the night and try something. At least if James roomed with Kendall, Kendall could keep an eye on James.

"Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves here? James hasn't even moved back in with us yet. Right, Mom?" Kendall commented.

"I think the fairest thing to do is put this to a vote. Go get your sister, Kendall," Mrs. Knight instructed.

Kendall couldn't believe that a vote was going to determine whether James would move back in with them or not. What was this? Some sort of democracy? He wanted to feel confident that he had the votes to keep James _out _of 2J, but the more he thought about it, the less sure he was. Kendall was pretty sure that Carlos and Logan would vote for James to move back in. Kendall _knew _he would vote for James to stay out of 2J and out of their lives. He was confident that Katie would vote however he voted. He wanted to believe that his mother would vote with him, but the fact that she even was putting this to a vote made Kendall wonder.

XXXXX

Kendall and Katie had joined Mrs. Knight, James, Carlos, and Logan in the living room. The way they oriented themselves kind of gave Kendall an idea of how they would soon vote too. Kendall was standing across from James with his sister at his side. They had formed a sort of semi-circle with Mrs. Knight standing in the middle.

"Okay, now I want everyone to go around and say whether they want James to go or stay. Whatever gets the most votes, that is what will happen," Mrs. Knight announced.

"I'll go first. I want James to stay," Logan stated.

There was a reason why Logan wanted to go first too. He knew that it was very important how he felt and what he wanted. Maybe if he let it be known that he wanted James to stay, it would help sway the others to vote similarly.

"Well, I want James to go," Kendall replied, making extra sure to look James in the eyes as he said this.

"Me too," Katie chimed in.

Kendall was thrilled that they only needed one more vote, and they would finally be rid of James forever. He still doubted it would come from Carlos, but he was hopeful that it would come from his mother.

"If Logan wants James to stay, then I do too," Carlos said.

The truth of the matter though was that Carlos wanted James to stay himself. He just made it seem like he was only doing it for Logan to show that unlike Kendall, he respected Logan's wishes. Unlike Kendall, Carlos supported Logan.

"I guess I'm the tie-breaker," Mrs. Knight commented.

She could feel four pairs of eyes on her. She wished she could say with absolute certainty which way she would vote. The thing was she wasn't _absolutely _certain though. A part of her felt the need to protect Logan from James by not letting James move back in. What James did was unforgivable. Quite honestly, she was stunned that Logan could even stand being so close to James after what happened.

On the flip side, she could see how much they loved one another. Who was she to interfere with that? It was clear how much James missed Logan and Logan missed James. It was clear how happy they were to see each other again. Their legs were practically brushing against one another as they sat on the couch side-by-side.

"I vote for James to stay," Mrs. Knight declared.

To Be Continued…


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Yeah, I'm so not kicking off the new year with a new fic. I'm sorry about that. Please bear with me. It'll come soon. I can promise you that. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Kendall, Carlos, and Logan walked into Gustavo's office at Rocque Records. As per Gustavo's instructions, the three dogs were supposed to have made a decision regarding the future direction of Big Time Rush.

"Well? What have you decided?" Gustavo inquired.

Carlos and Logan traded a knowing look with each other. James living in 2J wasn't the only thing that had been put to a vote; Carlos and Logan outvoted Kendall to _keep _James in Big Time Rush. Kendall had his arms folded over his chest, and looked rather annoyed.

"Rather than tell you, why don't we just _show_ you?" Carlos responded.

Kelly and Gustavo traded quizzical looks with one another.

"Show us? Show us what?" Kelly asked.

"James," Logan said.

The door to Gustavo's office opened, and in walked James. Kelly looked elated. Gustavo didn't want to admit it to anyone, least of all James, but he was glad that James was back. As talented as the dogs were individually, they were really at their best when it was all of them; all _four_ of them.

Kendall watched with apprehension as James walked over beside Logan, and held his hand. Was he the only one with any common sense around here? He still didn't trust James, and he certainly didn't trust James around Logan. But what did that matter? Everyone else had made it quite clear that it didn't matter what Kendall thought.

"What about the rumor that…" Gustavo started to say.

"It was just a rumor, Gustavo," James said before Gustavo even had a chance to finish. "I love Logan. It's always been Logan."

Kendall saw the adoration in Logan's eyes as he looked at James, and it was enough to make Kendall want to throw up. James was a flirt. He had always been good with words. All he had to do was say something really sweet, and he could have darn near anyone wrapped around his little finger.

"Well in that case, we have a lot of work to do. James, I need you to make a public statement saying that you didn't get that girl pregnant. And all of you dogs need to prepare yourself; your next concert is tomorrow night," Gustavo said.

XXXXX

Later that night, everyone was in bed. Carlos and Logan were in their room. Katie and Mrs. Knight were in their room. James and Kendall were in their room. James was laying in his bed, awake.

"Hey Kendall, are you awake?" James asked.

Kendall groaned. He didn't want to fall asleep until he heard James sleeping, but if he was talking, he definitely couldn't be sleeping. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk to James.

James heard Kendall groan though. He knew that Kendall was awake. The two of them hadn't really had an opportunity to talk, but it was apparent that they needed to. They obviously had some things they needed to work out.

"What do I have to do to make you forgive me?" James questioned.

"You say that like it's even possible," Kendall quipped.

James picked up on the bitterness in Kendall's voice. He hated it. Though it seemed like an eternity ago, he and Kendall _used to_ get along. James missed those days. It was great that Logan and Carlos had forgiven him, but it didn't feel complete unless he had Kendall's forgiveness too.

"I know you're probably getting sick of hearing me say this, but I'm sorry, Kendall. I'm _really _sorry," James stated.

"You're right," Kendall agreed. "I _am _sick of listening to your apologies!"

James sat straight up in his bed. He felt like pulling his silky smooth, beautiful locks of hair out. Why must Kendall be so stubborn?

"I didn't even want you back in the band! Heck, I didn't even want you to move back in with us!" Kendall exclaimed.

"You can't always get what you want, Kendall," James said.

Kendall laughed a humorless laugh that unnerved James.

"That's real rich coming from _you_! When you don't get what you want, you just take it anyways. Isn't that right, James?" Kendall remarked.

"What are you talking about?" James replied.

"What am I talking about? Are you really asking me that? I'm talking about how you forced yourself on Logan! You wanted to take Logan's virginity, so that's exactly what you did!"

James winced. He should have known that Kendall was still holding a grudge against him because of that. Really, he didn't blame Kendall either. If roles were reversed, and Kendall was the one who raped Logan, James was sure that he would hold a grudge against Kendall too.

"Look, Logan's moved past that, and I think…" James said before he was interrupted by Kendall.

"I don't care _what_ you think, James! Logan's moved past that you say? Has he really? Or is he just so blinded by love that he wants you to think that he has? For the life of me, I will _never_ understand how he could possibly love someone like you after all the crap you've pulled on him!" Kendall interjected.

"I don't understand it either, but I have his love, and I'm not going to question it."

Even though Kendall's voice was growing louder by the second, James somehow kept his voice calm.

James squeezed his eyes shut in pain as a stabbing feeling resonated from his lower back. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he choked back sobs. Kendall would only think that he had made James cry, not that James was in debilitating pain.

James wanted Logan. Whenever something like this happened, Logan was always there for him. Only now, he was in another bedroom entirely. James wasn't even sure he could get his vocal chords to work at the moment. He bit his lip so hard that he could taste blood.

"Oh, and just so you know, I'm not going to give you my liver. I would only do that for someone who deserved it, and you don't! You can just die for all I care!" Kendall commented.

XXXXX

Carlos and Logan could hear Kendall yelling at James. They could make out every single word too. Both boys were crying. It wasn't fun hearing Kendall say such awful things to James, but what could they do about it? Kendall gets scary when he's mad, and neither Carlos nor Logan wanted to intervene. Besides, they doubted that even if they did intervene, it would make much of a difference.

Logan wished that his mom hadn't gone back to Minnesota. She had received a call that she was needed back home. A real estate deal that she had been trying to close for months looked prime to finally be closed. She couldn't have left at a better time though. Her son was starting to improve; he was becoming less afraid of everyone around him. Actually, it was almost like she had got him back entirely. He was still a little wary of James, but that was understandable. She also knew that Logan loved him, and vice versa.

Logan didn't want to listen to Kendall yell at James anymore, so he decided to talk to Carlos instead.

"Thanks for having my back and voting with me, Carlos!" Logan said.

"Of course! What are friends for?" Carlos replied.

Carlos wasn't doing it _entirely_ for Logan's benefit though; the truth of the matter was that he missed James too. Carlos yearned for things to go back to the way they were; back when the four of them were the best of friends; back when the four of them were inseparable.

Hearing Kendall raise his voice at James worried Carlos. He remembered the last time Kendall and James really got into it; Kendall nearly _killed_ James; he nearly choked the life out of him. Logan didn't know about this though. Carlos didn't even know how to begin to tell Logan a pipe bomb like that. What if Kendall really did kill James this time around?

Carlos had made up his mind. He turned on the lamp on his nightstand, and threw off his covers as he sat up in his bed. He dangled his feet over the side of his bed, his bare feet exposed to the chill of the room.

"Carlos? Where are you going?" Logan asked.

"I've heard enough," Carlos answered.

Logan quickly climbed out of his bed and trailed after Carlos who had made a beeline for Kendall and James' bedroom.

Carlos flipped on the light switch as soon as he reached the bedroom Kendall and James shared. Kendall and James both shielded their eyes with their hands, their eyes having been accustomed to the pitch-black darkness.

"Stop it!" Carlos exclaimed, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Just…_stop_!"

One thing Kendall and James had in common was that they both hated seeing Carlos cry. He was an eternal optimist. The more they thought about it, the more they realized that the smile that was usually always present on Carlos' face was no longer there.

Kendall wasn't stupid. He knew that when Carlos told them to stop, he was specifically talking to Kendall. He hated how he had made Carlos cry. As upset as Kendall was with Carlos for siding against him, he was still one of his best friends…or at least Kendall _hoped_ he was.

"Why…can't…you…two…just…get…along? Is…that…so…much…to…ask…for?" Carlos stammered, his response fragmented by sobs.

Logan was there for Carlos as he turned around. Carlos buried his face in Logan's shoulder and cried while Logan rubbed small circles in Carlos' back with one hand, and held Carlos' head to his shoulder with the other.

"We can hear everything from our bedroom," Logan explained.

Kendall wanted to say something about how it _was_ too much to ask for; him and James getting along, that is. But he didn't want to upset Carlos any more than he already was, so Kendall held his tongue.

James didn't like seeing Carlos cry, but at the same time, he didn't really feel like he really did anything wrong. Kendall was going off on him.

"You're awfully quiet, James. Are you sure you're okay?" Logan asked, his big, brown eyes shining with concern.

James nodded his head in response. He was afraid that if he spoke, then Logan would see that his lip was bleeding. That would only arouse suspicion, and James didn't want that. As it was, James struggled to keep his own tears at bay. He tried to think of anything but the physical pain he was currently enduring that was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

"Why don't you take Carlos back to bed, Logan? We…or rather _I _will keep my thoughts to myself," Kendall said, lowering his voice.

Logan felt like the situation was far from resolved, but he decided to ultimately do what Kendall had suggested anyways. Logan didn't want Carlos to get any more upset, and Kendall and James had stopped fighting for the moment.

"Well alright," Logan said agreeably before ushering Carlos back to their bedroom.

XXXXX

The next morning, Logan went into James' bedroom to wake him up.

"Hey James, breakfast is ready," Logan said as he walked into James' room.

When Logan didn't receive an answer, he just thought that James was still asleep. However, that was before Logan saw how still James was. His chest wasn't rising and falling, which could only mean one thing; he wasn't breathing.

"James?" Logan asked worriedly, fear clawing at him.

In no time at all, Logan was at James' bedside with his ear pressed against James' unmoving chest. He strained his ears, hoping to pick up on the slightest palpitation of James' heart, but there was none to be heard; James' heart wasn't beating.

Logan thought of something. He peeled the covers off James, and rolled him over on his stomach. He lifted up James shirt. When he didn't see the pronounced bump on James' back, Logan became sick to his stomach. He realized what had happened. He turned his head away from James and retched.

"No!" Logan cried out, tears cascading down the sides of his face. "No, no, no! It can't be! Not like this!"

His heart and brain were commanding Logan to take action. _Don't just stand there! Do something! Save him! _Logan proceeded to give James CPR. Every chest compression, every mouth-to-mouth became more desperate than the one before it.

"James…wake…up," Logan sobbed. "Please…don't…leave…me! I…love…you!"

Logan pounded his fists on James' chest. Maybe he would wake up and tell him to stop it; that Logan was hurting him. Seconds turned into minutes, and much to Logan's devastation, James did no such thing.

Logan's knees buckled. He clambered into bed beside his lover, and snuggled up against him, resting his head on James' chest. Logan's body heaved with one violent sob after another. His eyes were so clouded with tears that he couldn't see straight. Logan felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.

"Come…on…James! I…want…to…see…those…beautiful…hazel…eyes…of…yours! _Please_?" Logan wailed.

Carlos went in search of James and Logan, wondering what was taking them so long. Mrs. Knight was making chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and toast for their big day. It was Big Time Rush's first concert together again. Carlos had an extra spring in his step. That was until he reached James' bedroom.

"Guys, breakfast is…" Carlos trailed off before he saw Logan lying in bed curled up against James, crying.

"Logan, talk to me. What is it? What's wrong?" Carlos asked.

This only made Logan cry even harder. He tried to hide himself from Carlos. He didn't want Carlos to see him like this, but Carlos had already made his way over to Logan. He delicately placed a hand on Logan's trembling shoulder. Carlos saw that James was so still it was creepy.

It was at that moment that Carlos connected the dots.

"Oh my God!" Carlos said, horrified.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Darn it! This wasn't as sad as I thought it would be. Oh well. There's always next chapter. Lol. **


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Katie, and Mrs. Knight watched helplessly as EMTs swarmed James' bedroom and tried desperately to revive James. Logan's knees had long since given out on him, and he was currently on the floor, being held by Carlos. Logan had buried his face in Carlos' shoulder as he cried. He couldn't stand to watch the horrific scene unfold.

Carlos was extremely worried about Logan. He was shaking _so_ much; he wouldn't stop. And with each mournful sob Logan made, Carlos' heart broke a little bit more. Carlos _wanted_ to be strong for Logan, which was why he valiantly tried to keep his own tears at bay, but his eyes were glimmering with unshed tears.

Mrs. Knight was hopeful. It may be foolish of her, but she was hopeful nonetheless. She just couldn't imagine James dead. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. Things had been finally starting to go back to normal too. She couldn't help but feel a bit angry at James; if something was wrong, if it was that bad, then why didn't he tell anyone?

Katie was speechless. Her mouth was agape. She felt a tremendous amount of guilt. After all, she had voted with Kendall to _not_ have James move back in with them. What if that was James' last memory of Katie? What if he somehow thought she hated him? Katie knew that couldn't be further from the truth. She didn't hate James. She hated what he did to Logan, yes, but she didn't hate James.

However, no one felt more guilt than Kendall. He felt like he should have seen this coming or something. After all, he was sleeping in the same room as James when…Kendall couldn't even bring himself to finish that thought. Kendall worried that James' last memory of him was of Kendall telling him that he could die for all he cared.

The EMTs busted out the defibrillator in a last ditch effort to get James' heart started again. Kendall, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight watched as James' chest heaved violently upwards only to come crashing down time and time again. Unfortunately, the result never changed. They tried a more powerful shock, and nothing. They tried time and time again, but nothing. Finally, mercifully, the EMTs pulled a sheet over James' head and mumbled something about the time of death.

Logan squirmed free from Carlos' embrace and took off running, his anguished cries echoing through the hallways.

"Logan, wait!" Carlos called out, as he gave chase.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight pulled one of the EMTs aside just as they were packing up their equipment. A couple of the other EMTs were wheeling James out on a stretcher with a white sheet draped over him. Mrs. Knight choked back a sob. She had loved James like he was her own son. Her one regret was that she didn't always show it. She hoped that James at least knew that though; that she loved him like he was her own son.

"Are you sure there's nothing you can do to save him?" Mrs. Knight asked.

The EMT shook his head apologetically.

"The only way that would have been possible was if we had been here when his liver first burst. Based on his body temperature though, he has been dead for a good four or five hours," the EMT replied glumly.

Suddenly, Mrs. Knight had a brilliant idea.

"What if my son were to give James his liver? He's a match, you know," Jennifer Knight said.

Much to her disappointment, there was no change in the expression the EMT wore on his face. There was no spark of hope. There was no excitement. Just sympathy.

"It wouldn't matter, I'm afraid. Like I said before, it's too late. We can't get James' heart to start again. Maybe if James had a liver transplant _before_ his liver burst…even soon after, but now it makes no difference," the EMT responded.

Mrs. Knight clasped her hand over her chest. She felt like she needed to sit down right now; it was like she was on spaghetti legs. She was supposed to be James' guardian! She didn't _guard_ him from anything, least of all death! She wished she could go back in time and do things differently. Yeah, she didn't know that James _needed_ to be checked on, but that shouldn't have stopped her from doing it anyways. She couldn't believe this. She couldn't believe any of this. Here she thought James still had weeks to live too. She couldn't have been more wrong.

"I'm deeply sorry for your loss," the EMT said, placing his hand on her shoulder, before leaving the room with the other EMTs and the deceased James.

As soon as the EMTs had left the bedroom, Mrs. Knight rounded on her son. Her face was crimson, her nostrils flared.

"This is your fault! You were sleeping in the same room as him for crying out loud! You should have noticed something! You should have donated your liver sooner! If you had, James might still be…" Mrs. Knight trailed off, before giving into her emotions.

"You think I _wanted_ this to happen?" Kendall retorted angrily.

Jennifer scoffed.

"Don't stand there and pretend for one second that you actually liked James! You hated him! You were jealous of him! You never approved of his relationship with Logan! I wouldn't be surprised if a part of you is _glad_ that he's dead!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed.

Katie was stunned into silence. Deciding who to side with wasn't as easy of a choice this time around. Kendall was her brother. She looked up to him. But her mom was her _mom_. She's been the only constant female figure Katie's had in her life. She looked up to her as well because really, what other girl in Katie's life did she have to look up to?

"I didn't like James during his last days, but I didn't _hate_ him! Besides, there was a time when I _did_ like James! He's been one of my best friends since Pre-Kindergarten, Mom, so don't pretend like you're the only one who suffered a loss today!" Kendall fired back, tears filling his eyes.

"But you could have _saved_ him! You just chose not to!" Mrs. Knight replied.

"You think I don't realize that? I didn't just lose James today, Mom. I lost Logan too. He's _never_ going to forgive me! I think I know how this is going to end up. Logan and Carlos will continue being friends. Carlos _might_ still be my friend, but Logan won't. He won't want anything to do with me, and honestly, I can't blame him. If I had known something like this was going to happen, I would have donated my liver sooner. As angry as I was with James, I never wanted him to die. I know you might not believe me, but it's the truth!"

XXXXX

Carlos found Logan underneath the kitchen table. His butt was on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest. His arms were wrapped tightly around his legs as he rocked back and forth, sobbing. A mixture of snot and tears dampened his knees as he buried his face in them.

Carlos crawled underneath the table, and gathered Logan in his arms. Logan collapsed into Carlos' embrace. The younger boy had no idea what to do. He wanted to do anything to take Logan's pain away, but what could he possibly do? It tore him apart inside seeing Logan so sad.

"This…can't…be…happening!" Logan sobbed, sniffling.

What was Carlos supposed to say to Logan right now? Anything he could come up with would probably sound insensitive or stupid. Carlos was terrified. He had a scary thought; what if they also lost Logan because of this? What if little by little, he started to slip away from them as well? Carlos held Logan to him even tighter.

Ever the pessimist, Logan was convinced that he would never find love again. In the unlikely event that he did, Logan would only feel like he was betraying James; like he was spitting on his memory or something. The love that James and Logan had for one another was unlike anything either boy had ever experienced before; it was _real_; it was _true_. It wasn't just a crush. It wasn't just lust. It was something deeper. It had to have been for them to go through all that they went through and still want to be together. Of course, with James being _dead_ now, that was all a moot point.

Guilt seemed to be contagious today. Carlos felt guilty too. Though the details were still a bit foggy to him, Carlos remembered how Logan had donated his liver to him in order to save his life. By doing so, Logan was no longer able to be a liver donor to James. Carlos kept thinking to himself that if he never needed to be saved in the first place, Logan could have donated his liver to James, and James would still be alive right now. He let go of Logan abruptly, and started to clamber out from underneath the table.

"Carlos…where…are…you…going? What's…wrong?" Logan choked out.

Logan had latched onto Carlos' arm, halting his movement. Carlos also noticed how when Logan thought he was leaving him, Logan let out a whimper of sorts. Carlos wondered how there was anything left of his heart. The fact that Logan was worried about him now was crazy.

"This is my fault. I'm the reason James is…no longer with us," Carlos said in a voice a smidge louder than a whisper.

"Carlos, no! How…could…you…even…think…that?" Logan responded.

Tears rolled down Carlos' tan cheeks. Even if it meant that he wouldn't be alive right now, if Logan had never donated his liver to him, then at least James still would be. If only one of them could be alive, Carlos would rather it be James than him. James was Logan's soul mate. He completed Logan. The same couldn't be said of Carlos. So then why was James dead and Carlos alive?

"Carlos…please…don't…cry. I…hate…seeing…you…cry," Logan sobbed, tears streaming down his face.

In spite of it all, Carlos chuckled lightly. Logan gave him a questioning look. "Oh, but it's okay for _you_ to cry?"

Suddenly, Logan became very self-conscious as he turned his head away from Carlos' probing eyes. Carlos could still see Logan furrow his eyebrows in concentration, his lips firmly pressed together as he tried to keep his own tears at bay. Carlos gave Logan credit for trying.

Carlos was startled when out of nowhere, Logan threw his arms around him in an embrace. After getting over his initial shock, he returned the gesture. Carlos didn't know how Logan was going to get through this; heck, he didn't even know how _he_ was going to get through this. Carlos just didn't want to lose Logan. They had already lost James. They weren't about to lose Logan too.

"This isn't your fault, Carlos! Do you hear me? Yes, I saved your life, and I don't regret it for one second," Logan said, remarkably not sobbing once during the whole sentence.

Secretly, that was one thing Carlos liked about his relationship with Logan; neither one of them was always the strong one. They both took turns comforting one another. It wasn't always Carlos comforting Logan or Logan always comforting Carlos.

"But if you hadn't given me your liver…" Carlos started to say.

"Then you wouldn't be alive right now. Do you really think that's what I would want, Carlos?" Logan responded.

"But now James is…"

"It had _nothing_ to do with you though!"

Carlos and Logan held each other. Even though they didn't want to see the other cry, they couldn't keep their tears from falling. Neither one of them wanted to think of James as dead, but he was, wasn't he? Uncertainty hung over them like a dark cloud. Logan and Carlos had no idea how they were going to get through this; they had no idea _if_ they would even get through this.

Unbeknownst to Logan and Carlos, Kendall entered the kitchen at that moment. Even if Kendall hadn't seen them hiding out underneath the table, he could hear the sound of their sobs. Kendall felt a pang in his chest as he watched the scene before him. Carlos and Logan were comforting each other. They didn't need him. Who knows? They might not ever need him again. With that thought in mind, Kendall spun around on his heels, and went back to his bedroom.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update this. Tumblr was distracting me, lol. Plus, this wasn't turning out as sad as I wanted it too. I still don't think it was as sad as it could have been, but it's sad enough for me to upload it…hopefully.**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: The end is in sight. So here's my new game plan. Finish Big Time Sick and In the Beginning. Finish No Way Out and start probably Doppelganger. Keeping in mind that I will only be writing two stories at a time. So, whatever I finish first out of Big Time Sick and In the Beginning (which I should really get around to updating…), I will pick up No Way Out to go along with whatever one of BTS and ITB still needs to be completed. Make sense? Then, I'll be writing Doppelganger and No Way Out in conjunction. Anyways, that's my plan, and hopefully I'll stick to it. **

**Disclaimer: Big Time Rush belongs to Nickelodeon and a whole slew of people who aren't me. **

**Big Time Sick**

Mrs. Knight knew that she needed to let James' parents know that their son had passed away. She didn't want them to hear about it in the news or find out from someone else. Jennifer Knight didn't know who to call first though. Her worst fear was that neither of James' parents would even care about their son passing.

She held her cell phone up to her ear with a trembling hand as it rang.

"Hello?" Mr. Diamond answered, somewhat annoyed.

"Hi. This is Jennifer. I uh…I have some news about James," Mrs. Knight responded, trying to choose her words delicately.

There was an odd silence. Mrs. Knight wasn't sure if Mr. Diamond simply hadn't heard what she said. Just as she was about to repeat herself, he spoke up.

"I don't know a James," Mr. Diamond stated, his voice guarded.

Mrs. Knight couldn't keep the fury from her voice. "What are you talking about? Your son! I'm talking about your son!"

"I don't have a son!"

As far as Mrs. Knight was concerned, she was glad that James' dad was all the way in Minnesota at the moment. Had they been in the same room, she had no doubt in her mind that right now she would be throttling Mr. Diamond. Her free hand balled up into a fist and shook with rage.

"I know you're disappointed in James…" Mrs. Knight started to say.

"Disappointed? No, I'm far from disappointed in James. I'd be disappointed if he broke curfew. But he's gay! _Gay_! Disappointed would mean that I care about James, which I don't. In fact, I don't have a son anymore!"

Jennifer was quickly losing patience with James' father, and she hadn't even told him what she had called to tell him in the first place. She made a startling discovery; here she was getting angry at James' dad for being disappointed in James when she herself was disappointed in her own son, Kendall.

"Are we done here? You're wasting my time," James' dad commented.

"James passed away," Mrs. Knight blurted out.

There was nothing but silence on the other end. Mrs. Knight didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. She would give anything to know what was going on in Mr. Diamond's mind right about now. Was he sad? Was he indifferent? Was he…_glad_?

"You're sadly mistaken, Jennifer. When you decided to call me and tell me this, I bet you thought it would change how I felt about James, but it changes nothing. I don't care that James is dead, and don't count on me showing up at his funeral either. Good day," Mr. Diamond said before hanging up.

XXXXX

Logan collided into someone when he left the bathroom.

"I'm so sorry. I should have watched where I was…" Logan said, his sentence remaining unfinished when he saw who it was.

Kendall took in the sorry condition of his best friend. Logan's eyes were red and puffy. Kendall could see the myriad tear tracks on Logan's face. He could feel the sadness radiating off Logan in staggering waves. Kendall was glad that he got Logan alone. They hadn't had a chance to talk since…

"Hi," Kendall said awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say.

"Will you move? I really can't deal with you right now," Logan responded, averting his gaze.

Kendall was saddened by this, but not really surprised. He expected as much from Logan. Kendall was frightened that James' death would forever change his relationship with Logan…for the worse. Kendall didn't want to lose Logan. He couldn't stand the thought of losing Logan.

"You can't seriously think this is my fault, Logan!" Kendall exclaimed.

"Right, because it's not like you were a donor match! It's not like James' last memory was probably of you yelling at him!" Logan remarked, bitterly sarcastic.

Kendall was sick and tired of everyone throwing that back in his face. He already felt bad enough about it as it was; the last thing he needed was people making him feel even worse. The blood in his veins started to boil, and his face turned red.

"Oh yeah? Well, even a _so-called_ genius like yourself didn't see James' death coming, so that must make you stupid! Besides, do you want to talk about someone who could have done something but didn't? Really? What about _you_, Logan? As much as you _claimed_ to care about James, I don't recall seeing you donate your liver to James! Maybe if you had, he'd still be alive!" Kendall retorted.

Nobody knew Logan's insecurities like his best friends. Kendall capitalized on two of Logan's insecurities, completely aware of what he was doing too. Logan's eyes filled with tears once again, but this time for an entirely different reason. As soon as Kendall saw how Logan resembled a puppy that had just been kicked, he immediately regretted his outburst. He desperately wanted to take back what he said, but it was far too late; the damage had already been done.

"I can't believe you just said that to me," Logan muttered under his breath.

"Logan, I'm sorry," Kendall said apologetically.

"Oh, so you rather I had died then?" Carlos asked, appearing suddenly in the hallway.

Again, Kendall wasn't surprised that Carlos had heard him. He shouldn't have been practically screaming at Logan. Now Kendall was going to lose Carlos for sure. Why couldn't Kendall do anything right anymore?

"Of course not, buddy!" Kendall replied, going to put his hand on Carlos' shoulder.

Carlos evaded the physical contact, glaring daggers at Kendall, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He felt so betrayed by Kendall. After all, he and Kendall were friends first. Now, come to find out that Kendall would have rather had Logan _not_ donate his liver to Carlos.

"Don't touch me!" Carlos exclaimed. "What is your problem, Kendall, huh?"

"Why is everyone on my case?" Kendall shot back.

"Maybe you should stop being such a jerk then."

Kendall didn't like the way Carlos was talking to him one bit. Just as Carlos felt betrayed by Kendall, Kendall felt betrayed by Carlos. He watched as Logan and Carlos got closer and closer. Not if Kendall had anything to say about it. He had a smoking gun that would prevent Logan and Carlos from bonding any further.

"Oh, and Logan's a saint?" Kendall asked, jealous.

"Well, yeah. He's _Logan_!" Carlos replied.

Logan had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realized where Kendall was probably going with this. However, he sat there speechless as Kendall went on.

"If I were you, Carlos, I wouldn't get used to Logan sticking around," Kendall stated.

"What are you talking about?" Carlos responded.

After much effort, Logan managed to speak up.

"Kendall, please don't," Logan begged.

Carlos turned to face Logan, who lowered his head in shame. He then turned towards Kendall, expecting him to continue. Kendall smirked triumphantly. He was all too eager to be the bearer of bad news.

"You mean Logan hasn't told you yet?" Kendall remarked.

"Told me what?" Carlos replied.

Logan couldn't believe Kendall was doing this. Why was he doing this? He was scared that he would be alone after Kendall was through. Logan didn't want to be alone. He didn't think he could get through this on his own.

"Logan left us, Carlos. He went back to Minnesota just before the accident that put you, me, and James in the hospital. It's what Logan does, Carlos. When he doesn't want to deal with his problems, he runs away from them," Kendall explained.

Logan grabbed Carlos, and spun him around so that he was facing him. Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes as he saw the hurt on Carlos' face; hurt that he, Logan, had caused. Though it killed him to do so, Logan looked Carlos in the eyes.

"Carlos, I'm not going anywhere. I don't care what Kendall says. I'm staying right here!" Logan said emphatically.

"You left us?" Carlos asked, his voice cracking.

"Carlos, please!"

"Why would you leave us? I can't believe you!"

"Carlos, it was stupid! I was an idiot!"

"Shut up, Logan! I can't even look at you right now!"

Carlos started to storm off. Logan grabbed Carlos by the arm. Carlos shook himself free from Logan's grasp, and forcefully shoved Logan backwards, Logan falling onto his butt. Logan had a bewildered expression on his face as he looked up at a furious Carlos.

Carlos stalked off. Logan didn't even bother picking himself up off the floor. He started weeping. How was he going to get through this now? He didn't have Carlos. He didn't have anyone. Why would Kendall bring up ancient history, knowing that it would only upset Carlos?

"It's not so fun having people mad at you. Is it, Logie?" Kendall commented before leaving Logan as well.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight was calling Brooke now. Things hadn't gone so well with Mr. Diamond, so there was no telling how things might go with Mrs. Diamond. The last time Brooke had even seen James, she all but disowned him. The phone rang once. Twice. Three times.

"Hello?" James' mom answered.

"Brooke, it's Jen," Kendall's mom greeted.

"Jen! It's so good to hear you! How are you doing?"

"Not good."

"Really? How come?"

Jennifer wasn't sure how to continue. Just blurting it out didn't work so well last time, but how do you build up to a bombshell like that? The fact of the matter was no matter what was said beforehand, there would be no easing into it.

"It's about James," Mrs. Knight stated.

Brooke Diamond fell silent.

"Brooke? Are you still there?" Kendall's mom asked.

"Yeah. I'm here," Brooke said, though her tone of voice was markedly different.

This was an entirely different conversation than the previous one had been. This wasn't her best friend's ex-husband. This was her best friend. Mrs. Knight didn't have many friends, but Brooke was one of them.

"Don't you want to know about James?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Not really," Mrs. Diamond responded honestly.

Jennifer was baffled. How could a mother ever just completely give up on her son? Once more she was reminded of how she had treated Kendall. It pained her too. But unlike Brooke, Jennifer hadn't _completely_ given up on her son. Unlike Brooke, at least Jennifer still had a son.

"He passed away," Kendall's mom stated.

"And you want me to come to his funeral," Brooke said as more of a statement than a question.

"Well, yeah. I mean he's your son."

"He is _not_ my son! Frankly, I'm _glad_ James is dead!"

Mrs. Knight gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. She was appalled. She desperately wanted to believe that she had only heard Brooke wrong, but deep down, she knew that she hadn't.

"I'm sorry, Jennifer, but that's how I feel. Thanks for telling me though. I guess," Brooke said before hanging up.

XXXXX

It was twilight in Los Angeles. The sky was dark as rain fell to the ground in sheets. Not being able to sleep, Logan snuck out from Apartment 2J in the middle of the night. He was standing in Palm Woods Park out in the pouring rain. He was soaked to the core. He was shivering, but he didn't for one second seek out shelter.

"James, I can't do this! I miss you! I need you! I love you!" Logan shouted into the night air.

He wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing them up and down trying to generate some warmth. His knees knocked against one another as he struggled to keep himself standing. He didn't have his cell phone with him. He wasn't even wearing a jacket. He was in a short-sleeved t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. He wasn't even wearing any shoes.

Logan felt so unbearably alone. Carlos no longer wanted to be in the same room as him. Logan and Kendall shared a mutual hatred for one another; blaming the other for James' death. Mrs. Knight suddenly wanted to mend her relationship with her son for some reason. Katie was too busy paying attention to her brother and mother to pay attention to Logan.

"Logan," a voice that sounded uncannily like James' said.

"James?" Logan cried out, blinking back tears. "Where are you?"

Logan looked everywhere, but he couldn't see James anywhere. He was starting to think that maybe his mind was just playing tricks on him. Then, he heard James' voice again. This time louder than before.

"Logan, go home," James' voice ordered.

"To 2J? Why?" Logan replied.

"Hurry! Before it's too late!"

"Too late? Too late for what?"

Logan received no answer though. He wasn't going to question James though. Whatever reason James had for wanting Logan to go back to The Palm Woods, it must be important. Logan raced back to The Palm Woods.

When he got back to Apartment 2J, he wasn't surprised that all the lights were turned out. He pushed the thought that no one cared to wait up for him to the back of his mind. He went to the bedroom he shared with Carlos first.

Carlos was lying in his bed. His eyes were closed, but there was no sign of Carlos even breathing. Logan's face paled. He darted over to Carlos' bedside, trying valiantly to shake him out of his slumber.

"Carlos? Carlos! Wake up!" Logan shouted.

His shouts fell upon deaf ears. Carlos didn't so much as stir. Logan's vision was blurred by tears.

"Get him out of here," James voice told Logan.

Logan nodded his head as he picked Carlos up bridal style. He didn't know where he was supposed to take Carlos. James' voice didn't specify, but Logan had to at least get him out of the apartment. After gently setting Carlos down in the hallway outside of the apartment, Logan called 911, and then returned to the apartment for the others.

Logan made his way to Kendall's bedroom next. Like Carlos, Kendall's eyes were closed, but he wasn't breathing. As Logan tried to come up with a logical explanation for what was going on, a light bulb went off in his head; carbon monoxide poisoning. There must have been a leak. It made sense. Carbon monoxide was a silent killer. It was a colorless, odorless gas. There was no telling how long Carlos, Kendall, Katie, and Mrs. Knight had been breathing in the hazardous gas.

Logan moved with a greater sense of urgency. He had a much more difficult time with Kendall because Kendall was taller than him, but finally Logan had managed to get Kendall out of the apartment as well. Logan set Kendall down next to Carlos before going back into 2J.

It was a similar story with Katie and Mrs. Knight. They both had their eyes closed. They both weren't breathing. Logan got Katie out of the apartment first. As he went back in for Mrs. Knight, he gripped the wall as he staggered. There was a pounding in his head like someone was taking a jackhammer to his skull. He wasn't even sure what he was doing anymore. Why was he in the hallway? Why did he have an excruciating headache? What had he been doing?

"Maybe I just need to lie down," Logan said, as he stumbled into his bedroom.

He fell on top of his bed. He wrapped himself up under his covers, and closed his eyes. He could feel his body immediately start to relax. It was kind of odd how easily he was falling asleep. Usually, he had trouble falling asleep. Usually, he wasn't one of those people who fell asleep as soon as their head hit the pillow. Logan didn't think it was a big deal though, so he didn't give it another thought.

"Logan, no! You have to save Mrs. Knight! You have to get out of here! You can't fall asleep or you might not ever wake up! Logan? Logan!" James' voice shouted.

"Shh! I'm trying to sleep here!" Logan grumbled before quickly nodding off.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: So I have a confession. This was the alternative to James' death. But I tweaked it a bit because it couldn't be about James' death anymore. I still wanted to include it in the story though, so…yeah…**


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Okay, just for clarification, the last chapter actually happened. It was just at one point in time, that was supposed to be how James died, but I changed my mind about that. I tweaked my original idea, and stuck it at the end of the last chapter. So James is still dead. The last chapter wasn't a dream or alternate chapter or whatever. Sorry for the confusion.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Logan woke up only to find himself in what was starting to become an all too familiar setting; the hospital. He was trying to remember what happened; how he ended up in the hospital. The more he thought about it, the more he remembered rescuing Carlos, Kendall, and Katie. He recalled there being some sort of carbon monoxide leak in Apartment 2J. Wait a second. Was that why he was in the hospital? Did he nearly die from carbon monoxide exposure?

"You're awake!" Carlos gushed, throwing his arms around Logan in an enthusiastic hug. "As cute as you are when you sleep, I'm so happy you're okay!"

Logan blinked his eyes rapidly as Carlos let him go. He could feel his cheeks start to heat up. He bashfully rubbed the back of his neck. His heart started to race.

"Did you just call me…_cute_?" Logan asked, stunned.

Carlos chuckled nervously, fiddling with the straps of his helmet absentmindedly. "Did I say that out loud?" Carlos replied, dodging the question.

Logan nodded his head. They say that your eyes are the window to your soul, so Logan was trying to look into Carlos' eyes to see what his soul was saying, but Carlos must have been onto him as he was staring at the floor instead.

"You're my hero!" Carlos said with adoration in a last-ditch effort to change the subject.

Now it was Logan's turn to break eye contact. He was suddenly engrossed with the sheets on his hospital bed. He shifted uncomfortably in his prone position. He waved his hand dismissively.

"I'm no hero, Carlos," Logan muttered under his breath.

Carlos could hardly believe what Logan was saying. This was what, the _third_ time Logan had saved Carlos' life? The helmeted boy had a frightening thought; what would he do without Logan around to save him? Hopefully, he never had to worry about that though. Carlos looked up at Logan even though he still wasn't looking at Carlos.

"You're joking, right?" Carlos asked, placing his hand on Logan's shoulder. "If it hadn't been for you, Kendall, Katie, Mama Knight, and I would have been dead by now!"

That certainly got Logan's attention. He looked up and saw Carlos boring into him with his big, brown eyes. There was something about the way Carlos was looking at him too that Logan couldn't quite place.

"You mean Mama Knight's _alive_?" Logan inquired.

Logan's one regret was that he wasn't able to save Mrs. Knight too. What kind of a hero did that make him? What kind of a hero nearly gets himself killed trying to be the hero? It wasn't noble. It wasn't brave. It was pathetic. Logan didn't think of himself as some sort of a hero. The idea of him being a hero was a joke. Tears started to stream down Logan's face.

Carlos wiped Logan's tears away with his thumb. Logan's body stiffened. He wasn't sure what to make of Carlos' forwardness. Carlos wasn't sure why Logan was crying. What possibly could he be sad about?

"Of course! Thanks to you! If you hadn't made that 911 call, the paramedics would never have found Mama Knight in time," Carlos explained.

Logan swatted Carlos' hand away. He sat straight up, his back rigid. Suddenly, it became crystal clear what was going on with Carlos.

"Will you stop it with that hero worship, Carlos?" Logan remarked. "I'm no hero!"

Carlos cupped Logan's face with his hands so that Logan had no choice but to look Carlos in the eyes. Logan noticed that look again. He thought it was hero worship, but little did he know that it went a bit deeper than that.

"But you are! Especially to me! You're _my_ hero!" Carlos exclaimed.

"I almost got myself killed, Carlos!" Logan retorted.

"You saved my life…_again_! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be alive! Seriously Logan, you need to give yourself more credit!"

Logan realized two things at that moment; one, Carlos' hands were _still_ resting against his cheeks. Two, Carlos was looking at him the way James used to look at him. But that was ridiculous, wasn't it? Carlos couldn't be in love with him. It was just…misplaced gratitude. That's all it was, right? Besides, it made Logan feel…dirty. What would James think? Logan was sure that he would never love someone like he loved James.

XXXXX

Gustavo Rocque didn't scare easily. He wasn't afraid of anyone…except his boss, Arthur Griffin. It was now common knowledge that James had passed away. More recently, they learned about the carbon monoxide leak in The Palm Woods. However, Griffin was on Gustavo's case about Big Time Rush not making them any money right now.

"Griffin, James _just_ died! He hasn't even had his funeral yet. I think the dogs just need some time," Gustavo said, fiddling with the neckline of his shirt; suddenly it seemed awfully tight.

"Are they going to replace James? Or are they going to continue on without him? When's their next concert?" Griffin asked, spouting out one question after another.

Gustavo's face turned as red as a tomato. He balled one of his hands into a fist. He wanted to do nothing more but give Griffin a piece of his mind, but Griffin was the one who gave Gustavo his paycheck.

Though he didn't tell Griffin so, Gustavo thought Griffin was being incredibly insensitive right now. It was readily apparent that Griffin had dollar signs in his eyes. All he cared about was money. Gustavo and the dogs have had a very tumultuous relationship, but deep down, they had a mutual respect for one another. Gustavo actually _liked_ the dogs; _all _of them. Now Griffin, Gustavo _didn't_ like.

"Aww, is someone getting upset?" Griffin asked condescendingly, speaking to Gustavo in a baby voice. Then his voice was suddenly serious. "You may own Big Time Rush, but I own _you_! You have one week to give me a Big Time Rush concert. One week, Gustavo! If you don't, then you'll find yourself unemployed!"

Gustavo gave Griffin an incredulous look. How could he even think about concerts at a time like this? Not that Gustavo himself had a very large heart, but was Griffin _heartless_? Kendall, Carlos, and Logan hadn't even buried their fellow band mate and friend yet. They were supposed to bury him and be ready for a concert in one week? That didn't even seem possible!

Gustavo was genuinely worried. He was _finally_ getting back on top thanks to his dogs. People were starting to once again associate the name "Gustavo Rocque" with success. Gustavo wasn't going to lie; he rather enjoyed and missed the feeling.

"It's nothing personal, Gustavo. That's how things work in show business. The show must go on and all," Griffin said before leaving behind a stunned Gustavo.

XXXXX

Mrs. Knight's eyes flew open as she jolted upright, coughing violently. Katie and Kendall both gently pushed her back down into a reclining position. Her eyes darted back and forth between her two children.

"What happened?" Mrs. Knight asked, her voice hoarse.

"It's okay. You're okay," Katie said, quick to reassure her mother.

"There was a carbon monoxide leak in our apartment. If it hadn't been for Logan…" Kendall started to explain.

Once more, Jennifer's body was erect. Her face paled as she replayed her son's words in her head. _If it hadn't been for Logan…_What did that mean? Did something happen to Logan? Was he okay? Why couldn't the kid seem to be able to catch a break?

"Logan, is he…" Mrs. Knight started to ask.

"That's the thing. We've kind of been with you the whole time," Katie responded.

Mrs. Knight started to try to climb out of bed. Again, Katie and Kendall wouldn't allow her though. They once again gently shoved her back down.

"Okay, will somebody tell me what happened exactly?" Jennifer asked.

Kendall and Katie traded looks with one another. Katie wordlessly told Kendall to tell their mother what little they knew. Kendall groaned.

"Well, apparently there was a carbon monoxide leak in our apartment. 911 operators received a distress call from Logan. When the paramedics arrived, Katie, Carlos, and I were lying in the hallway outside of the apartment. That's all we know though," Kendall stated.

Mrs. Knight coughed as she loosely placed her hand over her heart. That was such a Logan thing to do; risking his life for others. It was incredibly selfless of Logan; some might even say reckless, but the fact remained that Mrs. Knight, Katie, Kendall, and Carlos all owed Logan their lives. Mrs. Knight was just concerned that one of these days, Logan would get killed trying to play hero.

"Something doesn't make sense though. Where was Logan? You said that he found us, so he wasn't in the apartment when the gas started leaking. Where could he have gone? Was something the matter?" their mother questioned.

Kendall swallowed a lump that was amassing in his windpipe. He ducked his head out of guilt.

"That was probably my fault. Logan and I got into a bit of a…fight earlier. We both said some things that we probably didn't mean. I'm sorry for what I said though, and I owe Logan my life," Kendall replied.

Kendall just hoped that Logan would forgive him. This was the second time that Logan had saved his life. Obviously that meant that Logan didn't want any harm to come to Kendall. That said so much about how Logan felt about him. If he truly hated him, then he wouldn't have rescued him, right?

Mrs. Knight started to get emotional. Her vision was compromised by tears. They weren't sad tears though; they were tears of joy. She could have lost Kendall and Katie. If it hadn't been for Logan, she would have. The fact that he would even save her children even though they probably weren't his favorite people at the time…Logan had really turned into a fine young man.

"Mom, why are you crying?" Katie asked.

"Where's Logan? I need to personally thank him," Mrs. Knight answered.

"Why don't we come with you? I'd like to thank Logan too," Kendall chimed in.

XXXXX

Carlos' face was getting closer and closer to Logan's. Carlos' lips were slightly parted. There was a look of desire in Carlos' eyes that made Logan feel funny inside. Carlos cradled the side of Logan's face with one hand.

"Uh…what are you doing?" Logan asked, turning away from Carlos.

"Well, I _was_ going to kiss you," Carlos answered honestly.

Logan hopped out of his hospital bed like it had suddenly been set ablaze or something. Carlos gave Logan a weird look, not sure what to make of his rather unusual behavior.

"Wh-what? Wh-why why w-would y-you d-do th-that?" Logan stuttered nervously.

A part of Logan…no, _all_ of Logan was freaked out by Carlos' advances. It was odd; a part of Logan thought it was way too soon to move on with another guy. James hadn't even had his funeral yet. However, the rest of Logan honestly was excited that Carlos saw him that way. Frankly, he was a bit surprised. He had no idea the two of them played for the same team.

Carlos chuckled. Logan was acting like someone being attracted to him was the most absurd idea in the world. Did he really not know how nice, sweet, caring, and hot he was? Whoa! Back up! When did Carlos start thinking Logan was hot? Not that he wasn't hot, because of course he was hot!

"Because I love you," Carlos said.

Again, Logan was conflicted. A part of him was touched that Carlos just said that to him. He never did understand why Carlos was single. What was not to like about Carlos? Yeah, sure he was crazy and didn't have the best manners, but he was loveable. He was sweet, adorable, not to mention gorgeous. The way Carlos moved when he danced was borderline hypnotizing, and don't even get Logan started on the way Carlos sings.

On the flipside, Logan was certain that Carlos just had misplaced feelings of gratitude. There was no way Carlos could _really _be in love with him. They had known each other how long now? Not to mention if Carlos really did love him, then why didn't he say anything the whole time he was dating James? Why was he just finding out about this now? It just seemed really suspicious to Logan.

"You don't love me, Carlos," Logan responded.

A look of realization appeared on Carlos' face.

"Oh, I get it. You're trying to push me away. I know you just lost James. I understand that you might not be ready to move on quite yet. We don't have to do anything _right now_ though. I just wanted to let you know how I felt about you; you know, in case for whatever reason I never get another chance to tell you," Carlos replied.

"Carlos, you don't love me," Logan repeated. "You love that I saved your life, but you don't love _me_."

Carlos tenderly cupped Logan's face, turning it towards his own. He struck like a viper, his lips suddenly and unexpectedly crashing into Logan's. In the recesses of Logan's mind, a flip was switched. He was suddenly reminded of when James forced himself on him. Logan pushed Carlos away as tears sprang to his eyes.

"No! Please! No more, James!" Logan whimpered pitifully.

Logan retreated to the corner of the room. He pressed his back flat against the wall, sliding down until he was seated on the floor. He drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around them.

Carlos felt like the absolute worst person on the face of the planet right about now. He only wanted to show Logan how much he loved him. He never meant for Logan's old wounds to resurface. Carlos stood there not knowing what to do.

The sounds of Logan's terrified sobs filled the room. Carlos saw Logan look at him with tear-filled eyes. There was apprehension in those eyes as well. There was the sound of approaching footsteps as Kendall, Katie, and Mrs. Knight entered Logan's hospital room.

"Hey Logan, I just wanted to…Logan? Logan!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed as she took in Logan's sorry state.

She knelt down beside him. She wanted to do nothing more than place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but she was worried that might frighten him even more. What _could_ she do though? She had to do _something_! She couldn't stand seeing Logan like this.

Kendall saw the guilty look on Carlos' face.

"Hey, what did you do?" Kendall demanded, roughly grabbing Carlos, and turning him around to face him.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I didn't think…" Carlos said hurriedly.

"You're right! You _didn't_ think!"

If Carlos had been in a better frame of mind, he would have wondered why Kendall all of a sudden cared about Logan. The last time Kendall and Logan even spoke, they had a huge fight. Here Kendall was _yelling_ at Carlos.

"What's wrong with you? He saved your life, and _this_ is how you repay him?" Kendall hollered.

"James, stop! You're hurting me!" Logan said tearfully.

Katie had seen enough. Apparently, she was the only one with the sense to go and get help. She ran out of the room in search of Logan's doctor, Dr. Summers. In what was only a few short minutes, which seemed more like hours to Kendall, Carlos, and Mrs. Knight, Dr. Summers rushed into the room, some medical staff trailing behind her.

She crouched down beside Logan. She placed her hand on Logan's bicep, the teenager flinching from the contact, but Dr. Summers kept her hand there. She then started rubbing the boy's arm up and down.

"Logan, it's Dr. Summers. It's okay. You're okay. You're in the hospital right now. James isn't here. He's never going to hurt you again," she said in a calm, soothing voice.

Logan blinked his eyes. They shifted around the room, taking in all the people around him and their stares that were both terrified and curious. What was he doing in the hospital? Why was everyone looking at him?

"Dr. Summers?" Logan said in a voice reminiscent of a scared, little boy.

"I'm right here, Logan. You're going to be just fine," Dr. Summers said reassuringly.

Kendall and Carlos were envious of Dr. Summers. They wanted to be the ones to bring Logan back. Instead, they merely had a front row seat.

This was a wake up call though. They had all been foolish to think that Logan was fine. He was a mess. He was obviously still traumatized by what James had done to him. He had saved their lives though. No matter what it took, they weren't going to lose him like they lost James.

To Be Continued…

**A/N: Oh my gosh! I honestly have no idea how the Cargan got in here. Then of course everything couldn't be all unicorns and double rainbows. **


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Sorry it's been over a week since I last updated this. I'm not going to give you excuses. I'm just going to say that I hope the wait was worth it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.**

**Big Time Sick**

Officer Garcia arrived at LAX. The L.A.P.D. had brought him in because he knew Logan. The L.A.P.D. wanted to question Logan about what happened with the carbon monoxide leak. They knew that Logan didn't cause the leak, but what they wondered about was whether or not he had tried to kill himself. He must have known about the leak, yet he went _into_ the apartment anyways. If Logan really did try to kill himself, then the best course of action might be getting him professional help.

"Papi!" Carlos shouted, running over to his father and jumping into his waiting arms.

"My boy!" Officer Garcia replied, catching his son. Both had huge grins plastered on their faces.

Officer Garcia set his son down. The two of them did their trademark greeting; pressing their foreheads together and screaming. It got them some quizzical looks from people passing by, but neither Carlos nor his father even cared about that.

"What are you doing here?" Carlos asked, beyond happy to see his father.

Carlos worried when he saw his dad's expression sober; his grin quickly evaporating from his face.

"I was brought in to question Logan," Carlos' father answered.

Carlos knitted his eyebrows in confusion. What was his dad talking about? Question Logan? Question him about what? He hadn't done anything wrong! Quite the opposite! He was a hero! Officer Garcia noticed the confused look on his son's face, and started to elaborate.

"The L.A.P.D. has a theory that Logan tried to kill himself and was using the hero thing as a cover story. They knew that I am someone Logan trusts. They thought that maybe I could get him to admit what his real intentions were," Officer Garcia explained.

Carlos shook his head fiercely. His eyes started to fill with tears.

"No! You're wrong! He saved my life, Dad! He saved Katie and Kendall too! Indirectly, he saved Mama Knight! If he hadn't called 911, if he hadn't shown up when he did…He didn't try to kill himself, Papi! I know him! He would never do something like that!" Carlos replied, raising his voice.

Officer Garcia sighed. "Well, that's what I'm here to find out."

XXXXX

The remaining two-thirds of Big Time Rush were at Rocque Records. Gustavo had just finished telling them about their predicament involving BTR needing to have a concert in now six days or Gustavo being fired.

"It's not that I want you to lose your job, Gustavo, but now's not really the time for us to be thinking about the band. We should be focusing on James' funeral and only James' funeral right now," Kendall said.

Logan scoffed.

"Oh please, Kendall! Don't pretend for one second that you even cared about James! After all, your last words to him was that he could go ahead and die for all you cared! Seems you got your wish!" Logan retorted.

"Yeah, but I didn't mean it! I was just angry with him!" Kendall replied.

"Right! Whatever you say…"

Kendall noticed how Logan wouldn't even look at him. He recalled how Logan wouldn't even allow Kendall to help him plan James' funeral. He let Carlos help though. Really, it should be James' parents planning their son's funeral, but they were nowhere to be seen.

Gustavo was inwardly chastising himself. He should've known better than to think that the dogs would actually want to continue Big Time Rush after everything that's happened. Even though it more than likely meant the end of his career for the time being, he didn't really blame them. He couldn't.

"You can't stay mad at me forever, Logan," Kendall stated.

"Watch me!" Logan countered.

Kendall absolutely hated this. It felt like he had lost two of his friends; James _and_ Logan. Sure they had fought in the past, but Kendall couldn't remember a time when it ever had gotten _this_ bad. He had _tried_ to turn Carlos and Logan against each other so that way he would still at least have one of them, but that didn't work so well. If anything, it just brought them closer together. Well, except for Logan's panic attack that Carlos caused.

"So this is really the end of Big Time Rush?" Gustavo asked.

Suddenly, Logan had a brilliant idea.

"It may be the end of BTR, but it doesn't have to be the end of your music career. What about Kat's Crew? If they haven't been picked up by a record label, maybe it's not too late to sign them to yours. I'm sure Griffin won't care _who_ has a concert so long as he's making money," Logan said.

Gustavo had to admit that Logan had a pretty good idea. It was obvious why he was the brains of the group. Gustavo recalled how he originally picked BTR over Kat's Crew. He never regretted making that decision either. He just hoped that Kat's Crew would still be interested in signing with Rocque Records after previously being rejected by the record label.

XXXXX

Logan was surprised to see Carlos' dad in Apartment 2J when he got back. He was decked out in his police garb to boot. It was hard not to notice how everyone else slipped away, leaving Logan alone with Officer Garcia.

"What are you doing here?" Logan asked, uncertainty in his voice.

Officer Garcia took a seat on the orange couch, he patted the cushion next to him.

"Have a seat," Officer Garcia stated.

Logan reluctantly did as he was asked. He had a weird feeling about all of this. Like why was Carlos' dad wearing his police uniform? Was he here as an officer? Or was he here as Carlos' father?

"If you don't mind, I have some questions for you, Logan," Officer Garcia said.

Logan wasn't sure if he minded or not. He wasn't even sure what exactly was going on. And what was with Carlos' dad sounding so…formal…all of a sudden? Did this mean he was here on police business?

Carlos' father didn't know what to make of Logan's silence, so he continued anyways.

"Did you know there was a carbon monoxide leak in the apartment?" he asked.

Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Um…no. Not originally," Logan answered honestly.

"But there was a point when you were saving the others that you realized there was a leak, right?" Officer Garcia asked.

Logan nodded his head. Carlos' dad feared as much. He hated to admit it, but now it seemed like the L.A.P.D.'s theory wasn't as far-fetched as he originally thought it was. That didn't stop Officer Garcia from still hoping that he was wrong.

"If you knew it was dangerous to go into the apartment, then why did you continue to go back in?" Officer Garcia asked.

"Are you kidding me? I was trying to save as many of their lives as I could! If I did nothing, they might have died before help even got there!" Logan all but shouted back.

It wasn't often that Logan shouted at anybody. In fact, it was to Officer Garcia's knowledge, the first time Logan had ever shouted at him. Not that he could blame him though. But he wasn't here as Logan's best friend's father; he was here as a police officer.

"Was there ever a point when you thought that you could die in the apartment?" Officer Garcia pressed on.

Tears sprang to Logan's eyes. Officer Garcia also saw the betrayal that Logan's eyes held. It pulled at his heartstrings. He hated that he was doing this to Logan, but he still hadn't got the answers he had been seeking. He wasn't going to stop until he did either.

"Why are you asking me this? Who put you up to this?" Logan replied, his voice nasally.

The longer this conversation continued, the more disheartening it became to Officer Garcia. Now Logan was evading his questions. People typically only did that when they had something to hide.

"Just answer the question, Logan. Please?" Officer Garcia asked gently.

"Why should I? You're not answering _my _questions!" Logan retaliated.

Logan rose from his seat. He turned his back on Carlos' dad as he started to walk away. He didn't have to put up with this any longer. What was with Officer Garcia giving him the third degree? Since when was saving people's lives a crime?

"Were you trying to kill yourself?" Officer Garcia asked, cutting straight to the point. "If so, it's understandable. You probably thought you could finally be reunited with James that way."

Logan froze in his tracks. With his back still to Officer Garcia, he spoke.

"I don't know, okay? Did the thought that I could possibly die ever cross my mind? Yes, it did. Did it stop me from trying to rescue the others? No, it didn't. Does that mean I wanted to die? I'm not sure," Logan said, his shoulders slumping. "But like you said, if I _had_ died, then it couldn't have been too bad, right? I mean at least I would have gotten to be with James again."

Officer Garcia feared as much. James' death had really messed Logan up. He felt bad for the teenager. Not only might he never be able to have an intimate relationship with anyone ever again without being reminded of what James did to him, but he also kind of admitted to attempting suicide.

"I know what you're probably thinking, and you're wrong. I'm _not_ suicidal," Logan stated.

"Not in a typical, obvious fashion at least. But you are the type that would try to kill yourself but disguise it as something completely different. What's next, Logan? What happens if the next time you actually kill yourself?" Officer Garcia asked.

Logan spun around on his heels so he was facing Carlos' dad. He looked legitimately offended by the accusations being hurled at him.

"You're wrong! I didn't try to kill myself then! And I'm not going to try to kill myself in the future! I saved Kendall's, Katie's, Mrs. Knight's, and your own son's life! Why can't you see that for what it is?" Logan shouted back, his voice cracking.

"You're in denial. You rather see it that way then admit that you really were trying to kill yourself," Officer Garcia replied, keeping his voice calm even though he was being shouted at.

"You know what I hate about you police type? You all think you have all the answers when in reality, all you do is jump to hasty conclusions!"

Carlos had been eavesdropping on the conversation, and he couldn't listen to anymore. He came barreling into the living room. His eyes already full of tears.

"Stop it! Stop fighting!" Carlos pleaded.

"Answer me this; when did you become such a judgmental prick?" Logan venomously asked Carlos' dad. "You have no right to show up out of nowhere and judge me! You haven't even been around! You don't even know what's going on!"

Officer Garcia was stunned by Logan's behavior. It was very uncharacteristic of him. However, it just validated the idea that something truly was wrong with Logan. Something that none of them could fix on their own.

"Logan, please stop!" Carlos begged.

Logan rounded on Carlos. The latter didn't like the look that the former was giving him either.

"You knew about this, didn't you? You knew that's why your dad was in town? And you never thought to give me a heads up, did you? I guess I know where _your_ loyalties lie!" Logan remarked.

Carlos felt like the worst person on the face of the planet. He hadn't really had time to warn Logan. It wasn't that he didn't want to. He hated how Logan thought he was choosing his dad over him. He didn't want to take sides! He loved them both so much! Carlos' body shook with sobs.

"I'm outta here! Who knows? I might find a granny who needs help crossing the street, but _secretly_ I'll throw myself in front of a speeding car!" Logan remarked, that last bit directed at Carlos' father.

"You shouldn't even be joking about that!" Officer Garcia responded as Logan was already out the door.

Carlos found himself in a comforting hug as his father wrapped his arms around him. Tears continued to stream down Carlos' face. His body continued to be rocked by sobs. He could definitely feel it now. He was slowly but surely losing Logan.

"Do you really think he tried to kill himself?" Carlos asked in a pitifully small voice.

"I'm afraid so, son. He needs help, Carlos. I know of some facilities around here and in Minnesota that are some of the best in the nation," Officer Garcia answered.

"You're wrong, Papi. I know Logan better than you, and he would never try to kill himself. He's just…lost…right now."

"I know you don't want to believe that there's something wrong with Logan, but that doesn't change the fact that there is. The sooner he gets the help he needs, the better. For now, come on. Let's follow him and make sure he doesn't do something stupid."

The father and son left Apartment 2J to trail Logan, keeping a watchful eye on him. James looked down from Heaven and frowned.

To Be Continued…


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: This is the penultimate chapter. Ever since someone who shall remain nameless started using that, I secretly wanted to use it too. Penultimate. It's such a nifty little word.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Tonight was James' viewing at the funeral home. It would be the first time that any of them got to see James since he passed away. They were just about to leave Apartment 2J when Carlos noticed that he hadn't seen Logan for awhile. The first place he thought to check was Logan's bedroom. Sure enough, there he was.

"Hey, you're not even dressed yet," Carlos noted.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go tonight," Logan responded, staring intently at the comforter on his bed.

Carlos saw right through Logan's ruse; he wasn't suddenly fascinated by his comforter; he was doing anything he could to avoid making eye contact. Carlos wasn't the most observant individual, but even he could see the anguish in Logan's eyes.

"I just can't do it, Carlos. I know tonight's not his funeral or anything, so I don't really need to be there anyways," Logan said.

Truthfully, Carlos had been looking forward to Logan going. Things between him and Kendall were still uncomfortably awkward. Neither Carlos nor Kendall even knew what to say to each other anymore. Katie and Mama Knight were _Kendall's_ family, not his. Sure, Carlos' father was also in Los Angeles, but the father and son weren't exactly seeing eye to eye either; mostly because Officer Garcia still insisted on shipping Logan off to some psychiatric institute.

"Won't you change your mind? Please? For me?" Carlos asked.

Logan was reminded of how Carlos told him that he loved him. He wasn't certain whether Carlos was asking him to go to the viewing as a friend or…Logan actually felt bad for Carlos. Not that he believed for one second that Carlos actually did love him like that, but in the unlikely event that he did, it must suck for him; even though James was no longer with them, Logan still wasn't over him. How does one ever really truly get over a love like that?

"Well your _dad's_ going to be there, right?" Logan replied.

There was something about the way Logan asked that made Carlos frown. It was almost like that was some sort of jabbing remark about Carlos siding with his dad over Logan when Carlos did no such thing.

"Logan, you have to know that I don't believe you tried to kill yourself. I really believe that you were just trying to save us," Carlos responded.

Logan looked up from his comforter, and flashed Carlos an appreciative smile. He kind of regretted ever doubting Carlos' loyalty.

"So will you come then? I really want you to be there. It just wouldn't be the same without you," Carlos said.

Logan sighed deeply.

"Carlos, I don't know if I can do it. Seeing him in a casket, it's just too much for me," Logan admitted, his eyes welling up with tears.

Carlos sat down next to Logan on his bed, and placed his hand over Logan's.

"Hey, no one will think any less of you if you don't show up tonight. I know I won't. You're going to go to the funeral tomorrow though, right?" Carlos asked.

Logan shrugged his shoulders.

"I can't see him like that; it makes it all so final. Besides, how do you even begin to say goodbye to someone who has been such a huge part of your life for eleven years?" Logan responded.

The tears started flowing. If there was one thing Carlos hated, it was seeing people cry; especially Logan.

"Come here," Carlos said, his arms open.

Carlos held Logan as he let his tears fall freely. Carlos himself was on the brink of tears, and Logan crying wasn't helping the least bit. Somehow though, he knew that he needed to be strong for Logan; he needed him. Carlos rested his chin on top of Logan's head, and rubbed his arms up and down in a comforting gesture.

"You don't have to do this alone, Logan. I'll be there for you. I'll always be there for you. I promise," Carlos said.

Logan nuzzled against Carlos' chest.

"You're the best, Carlitos! I don't know what I'd do without you," Logan stated.

"You don't have to worry about that, Logie. I'm never going to leave you," Carlos replied.

XXXXX

It was eerily cold in the funeral home. Other than Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Katie, Mrs. Knight, and Officer Garcia, no one else had shown up. The viewing started over a half an hour ago. Everyone except for Logan had already gone up to the open casket where James lay perfectly still.

It really wasn't all too surprising that no one else even bothered to show up. James lost a lot of fans when rumors of him being gay surfaced. Even though James had publicly denied those rumors, much to Logan's chagrin, the damage had been irreversible. Whatever fans James had left after that abandoned James when news spread of James raping Logan. It was quite tragic how none of James' so-called fans stood by him through all of this.

The doors to the funeral home opened, drawing everyone's attention. In walked Camille. Carlos had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach when he noticed that the first thing she did was march up to Logan and hug him.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I just finished with an audition, you see. Anyways, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Camille said, apologizing profusely.

"You're here now. That's all that matters," Logan replied meekly.

Carlos folded his arms over his chest, and shifted uncomfortably. His eyes never leaving Logan and Camille. He never did understand how Logan could have such a strong bond with Camille when they were no longer dating. Who even stays friends with their exes anyways?

Carlos flinched when someone unexpectedly put their hand on his shoulder. He wheeled around, and saw that it was Kendall.

"What do _you_ want?" Carlos asked, his voice icy.

Kendall sighed, retracting his hand.

"So I take it you're still mad at me too?" Kendall asked.

"Funny how you saying that you would rather have had me die than James does that!" Carlos retorted bitterly.

"I never said that!"

"Maybe not in those exact words!"

Mrs. Knight and Officer Garcia raced over to their respective children. Everyone's eyes were now on the feuding Carlos and Kendall.

"What has gotten into you two? Now is neither the time nor the place for that!" Mrs. Knight reprimanded both boys.

"Carlos, apologize," Officer Garcia ordered.

Carlos scoffed.

"Yeah, okay! I'll get right on that!" Carlos sarcastically replied before falling silent.

Officer Garcia grabbed Carlos by the arm, and dragged him off to a more secluded section of the funeral home. Once they were alone, he let go of his son's arm.

"I realize you're still mad at me, but I am your father, and when I tell you to do something, you better do it!" Officer Garcia exclaimed.

"Why?" Carlos countered.

"Because I said so! That's why!"

Carlos was in full-on pout mode. His arms were folded over his chest, his head was turned away from his father. He even angled his body away from his dad.

"You better straighten up!" Officer Garcia warned.

"Do you even know _why _Kendall and I are fighting?" Carlos asked, still refusing to make eye contact with his father.

Officer Garcia had a startling discovery when he realized that he didn't. In hindsight, he wasn't sure why he even demanded that Carlos apologize to Kendall. Maybe it was because they were slowly but surely drifting apart, and he wanted to exert some sort of authority over him to remind him that he was still his father.

"I'll take your silence as a 'no' then," Carlos responded before continuing. "Kendall and Logan got into a fight, and Kendall said that if Logan hadn't used his liver to save me, James could still be alive. He basically said that he rather have me dead than James. Now then, do you still want me to apologize to Kendall?"

Officer Garcia was both shocked and appalled by Kendall's words. On second thought, it was definitely _Kendall_ that needed to apologize to Carlos, not the other way around!

"That's horrible!" Officer Garcia commented.

"I know, right?" Carlos replied. "Now do you see why I don't want you to take Logan away from me? He's all I have left."

"Are you sure that's the _only _reason you don't want Logan taken away from you?"

Carlos turned his head back towards his father. He blinked dazedly. How could his father possibly know about _that_? He hadn't even told him yet! Wait. Did he know? Or was he just being paranoid?

"I saw how unhappy you were when Camille and Logan hugged back there. You're in love with Logan, aren't you?" Officer Garcia asked.

"What…you…I'm still mad at you, you know? I'm not just gonna bare my soul to you!" Carlos retorted moodily.

Officer Garcia laughed lightly as his son stalked off.

XXXXX

Everyone watched Logan with rapt attention as he drew ever nearer to James' coffin. Logan's shoulder heaved up and down as he continued to take one deep breath after another. Occasionally, he would slap himself in the face to help psyche him up. They could hear him muttering something, but no one could quite make out what it was he was saying.

Then Logan saw James.

If Logan didn't know any better, he would have guessed that James was merely sleeping. His arms were folded over his chest. Maybe it was just the makeup on his face, but it certainly _looked_ like James was alive. Logan chuckled to himself. The only people who knew about James' male makeup were Logan, Kendall, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight. Basically, everyone who lived with James. Logan fondly remembered how they would all tease James about wearing makeup in the first place. He distinctly recalled James response too; that it was _guy_ makeup that he was wearing, not _girl_ makeup.

"Hey…James," Logan said, not really knowing what to say. "I'm here. I didn't know if I'd actually make it tonight, but here I be."

Logan wanted to do nothing more but reach out and touch James' hand, but the truth of the matter was that he was scared to. It wasn't because people were watching because honestly, Logan had long since forgotten about anyone else even being in the funeral home. It was just that Logan was concerned James' hand wouldn't feel, well, like James' hand, if that made sense. What if it was unnaturally cold? What if it was stiff and unyielding?

"I wish you were here, James. You have no idea how much I miss you," Logan said, stopping to wipe his tear-filled eyes with the back of his hand. "How do you expect me to just move on without you? It isn't right!"

"Logan," came James' voice.

Unlike before, it wasn't just James' voice that Logan heard. Logan saw James too. A nearly translucent version of James climbed out of the casket and stood before Logan. He reached out and held Logan's hands in his own, only Logan couldn't feel any contact made.

"J-James?" Logan asked, blinking his eyes rapidly.

"Please don't cry, Logan," Phantom James said, placing his hand against Logan's face, and brushing a tear away. Logan's face suddenly felt cold, but that was all.

This just made Logan cry all the more.

"I miss you too, baby, but we'll always be together," James said placing his hand over Logan's chest right where his heart was. "I'll always be right here in this good, kind, brave heart of yours."

"It's not the same!" Logan wailed, his knees starting to tremble and knock into one another.

James hated seeing Logan like this; so broken. What he hated more than that though was the knowledge that _he_ was the reason Logan was like this. He would give anything to come back to the land of the living and fix Logan, but he would never get the chance. Logan could see him, and he could see Logan, but never again would they be able to kiss, touch, or hold each other.

"You have to move on, Logan. You have your whole life ahead of you. There is still so much you have left to do. You're going to accomplish great things, Logan Mitchell," James said.

"Move on? Just like that? You ask too much! It's not as simple as that! I still love you, okay? Everyone probably thinks I'm stupid because of it, especially considering what you did to me, but there it is. I. Love. You," Logan responded.

Logan sank to his knees, and suddenly became very self-conscious. He bowed his head, not wanting James to see him like this, blubbering like an idiot. His body rocked with sobs that shook him to the very core.

"I'm not asking you to stop loving me. I'm not asking you to forget about me either. But Logan, you and I can't be together anymore. I can't be there for you in the way that you need me to," James said, before shifting his gaze to Carlos. "But I think I know who can."

Something told Logan to look up, so he did. He followed James' gaze to Carlos, who had a bewildered expression on his face, his own eyes threatening to spill with tears. Logan wasn't sure if Carlos could see James like he could. This was the first time that Logan even remembered that he wasn't the only one in the funeral home.

"Carlos?" Logan asked.

Carlos stepped forward until he was kneeling beside Logan. He gathered him in his arms.

"What is it?" Carlos asked.

Logan felt absolutely awful as he wondered if Carlos had witnessed all this. He was fully aware of how Carlos felt about him, or at least how Carlos _thought_ he felt about him. Logan also realized that Carlos had to have heard him confess to still being in love with James. That couldn't have been easy for Carlos to hear, and Logan wished he could take those words back; not because he didn't mean them, but because the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Carlos.

Logan looked back to where James had been just a moment ago only to find that James was no longer there. His eyes anxiously did a quick scan of the room, and he couldn't find James anywhere. The only James Logan _could_ find definitely wasn't translucent, and was lying in a casket.

"I'm sorry," Logan said, never before conveying so much underlying meaning in two words as he did then and there.

Carlos' tears fell unchecked. He held Logan as the two of them cried their eyes out. Carlos hated to admit it, but maybe his father was right; maybe something really _was _wrong with Logan. Moments ago, he had been talking to presumably James like he was in the room with him when that couldn't be true, could it? Carlos held onto Logan even tighter. He didn't care. He didn't care if everyone thought Logan was crazy, suicidal, and beyond help. He promised Logan that he would always be there for him, and that was one promise Carlos was going to make sure he kept.

To Be Continued…


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: This is it. This is the final chapter of Big Time Sick. **

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.**

**Big Time Sick**

Logan sank to his knees on the damp grass under the shade of an oak tree. He brought his knees up to his chest, hugging them. A seemingly never-ending stream of tears leaked from his eyes. He was trembling from head to toe. Logan had stayed for the whole service, but the moment it ended, he took off in tears.

Whereas James' viewing had poor attendance, people came to James' funeral in droves. Famous celebrities that have collaborated with Big Time Rush showed up; Miranda Cosgrove, Snoop Dogg, and Jordin Sparks. Gustavo, Kelly, Griffin, and even Fujisaki made it out for the service. Logan's mom flew back for the funeral as did Carlos' mom. James' parents were noticeably missing though.

James' wayward spirit sat on the grass under the shelter of an oak tree. He wrapped a ghostly arm around Logan's shoulders, wishing he could do more; wishing Logan could actually _feel_ the comforting gesture.

"These people are filthy liars! Every last one of them!" Logan shouted angrily. "Showing up here pretending that they gave a damn about you! I don't know who they think they're fooling, but they're not fooling me! I know better!"

James had been touched that so many people showed up for his funeral that they actually didn't have enough seats to accommodate everyone. All of his friends from The Palm Woods came. All his old friends from Minnesota came. Plenty of people that James didn't even know came.

"Maybe they didn't know about the viewing," James suggested.

Logan scoffed.

"Oh, but they knew about your funeral though? How convenient!" Logan sarcastically retorted.

James hated this. Logan shouldn't be alone right now, but he was pulling away from everyone who cared about him. He remembered how close Logan came to punching people in the face every time they said, "I'm sorry for your loss" to him. James didn't know where Carlos or Kendall was, but none of that mattered right now. James' first priority was Logan.

"This is wrong! You should still be with us! I shouldn't have had to bury you six feet under today!" Logan exclaimed, his body rocked by violent sobs.

"I don't know what to say, Logie. I'm…sorry," James said.

Logan turned his head towards James, his eyes ablaze with fury and sadness, but the fury seemed to be winning over from the look of things.

"You should be! Why did you give up? Why didn't you keep fighting?" Logan shouted.

"I did! I fought until there was no more strength left in me!" James cried out.

"As much as I want you back here with me, I hate you! If it was so bad, then why didn't you say anything to me? I never got to even say goodbye to you! I never got to tell you that I loved you before you passed!"

James placed a hand on Logan's shoulder.

"But you didn't have to, Logan. I _know_ you loved me; I _know_ you still do," James responded.

XXXXX

Katie walked up to her big brother and smacked him in the back of his head.

"Idiot!" Katie remarked.

"Ow! What gives? What did you do that for?" Kendall replied, massaging the back of his skull with his fingers.

Katie groaned loudly. Her brother could be so dimwitted sometimes, and this was no exception.

"Go after him, and yes that has dual meaning," Katie answered.

"Him? Him who?" Kendall responded.

"Logan!"

Kendall froze right where he stood. He had to all but pick his jaw up off the ground. He didn't understand how his baby sister could see right through his cleverly constructed ruse. Kendall had been so careful too.

"I-I d-don't know w-what y-you're t-talking about," Kendall stammered.

"Oh please!" Katie commented. "You've been jealous of the relationship between James and Logan from the get go! And don't even think of giving me the he's-a-little-brother-to-me nonsense either! That might work on everyone else, but not me!"

Kendall sighed in defeat. Sometimes he hated how smart his little sister was, and this was one of those times.

"Even if that were true, which it's not, Logan's just going to end up with Carlos, so what's the point?" Kendall responded.

Katie threw her hands up in frustration.

"You really _are_ an idiot! Carlos doesn't _love_ Logan; he just _thinks_ he does! He loves that Logan saved his life! Doesn't it strike you as unusual how all of a sudden Carlos thinks he's in love with Logan? But you, you've _always_ been fiercely protective of Logan, and like I said before, you have _never_ approved of Logan's relationship with James! Need I say more?" Katie asked.

Kendall wasn't going to lie; every morning, he would wake up with a serious case of morning wood. Could you blame him though? After all, Logan was in the bed across the room, and he was a permanent fixture in Kendall's dreams.

"Okay, I'm going to go talk to Logan," Kendall said.

"Yeah, you are!" Katie beamed.

XXXXX

"Son, I want to introduce you to someone," Officer Garcia said.

A thirty-something-year-old woman decked out in a dolphin gray pant suit stepped forward. Her raven hair was in a bun. She had kind, gentle chocolate eyes.

"This is Dr. Stadler, head psychiatrist at Shriner's Psychiatric Institute. She's here to help stage an intervention," Carlos' dad announced.

Carlos fiercely shook his head, his eyes brimming with tears. This was unbelievable! He couldn't even look at his father right now!

"Carlos, Logan needs professional help. He's suicidal, he's hallucinating, and he's clearly still traumatized by James raping him," Officer Garcia reasoned.

"So?" Carlos retorted. "We're all the help he needs. We don't need to ship him off to some psych ward!"

"Technically, we're not a psych ward; we're an entire psychiatric facility," Dr. Stadler interjected.

"Was I talking to you?" Carlos spat venomously.

Sylvia Garcia was appalled by her son's disrespectful behavior. She had raised him better than that, or at least she thought she did, but apparently not.

"Carlos, apologize!" she commanded.

Carlos rounded on his mother.

"Don't tell me that you're going along with this too, Mama!" Carlos exclaimed.

"Sweetie, it's touching how you want to help Logan yourself, but he needs more help than any of us can give him. We only have his best interests at heart," Mrs. Garcia answered.

Carlos couldn't believe his ears. Here he thought his parents had always been fond of Logan. What changed? Why would they do this to him? Was it because he loved Logan? Were they trying to keep them apart or something?

"I want no part of this! I'm not doing that to Logan!" Carlos said emphatically before making a hasty exit.

XXXXX

"Hey," Kendall said.

Logan looked up from his perch, and saw Kendall walking towards him. His gaze then drifted back to James, and he was surprised that James didn't look angry over Kendall's sudden presence.

"How are you holding up?" Kendall asked.

"Why are you here? You got what you wanted; James is dead," Logan responded.

Kendall sighed, taking a seat on the grass next to Logan, who immediately slid away from Kendall. The taller boy frowned.

"I know what I said, but you have to believe me when I say that I never _really_ wanted James to die. Sometimes, when you're mad, you say things you don't really mean," Kendall explained.

"Or you say things that you otherwise wouldn't have the guts to say," Logan commented.

Not that Kendall enjoyed Logan being mad at him, but he had to admit that Logan was hot when he was angry. He shook himself from his thoughts as soon as he had them. He couldn't be thinking about things like that right now.

"Logie, I never wanted James to die. Although, I'm not going to lie; a part of me is glad that he's gone," Kendall admitted, causing Logan to look at him in horror. "But that's just because I'm a selfish ass who wants you all to myself."

Out of all the things Logan expected Kendall to say, that was not one of them. Though Logan's sharp tongue more often than not got him into trouble, he was at a loss for words right now.

"Why so surprised, Logan? Come on! Why do you think I've always been so protective of you? Why do you think I never liked you and James dating?" Kendall questioned.

"I always thought it was because you were overprotective," Logan answered honestly.

Kendall shook his head, growing increasingly more bashful as the seconds ticked by.

"Why do you think I wanted to room with you when we first moved out to L.A.?" Kendall asked.

"Because Carlos is messy, and you didn't want to be around James' myriad Cuda products," Logan responded.

Both boys laughed lightly. Soon, Kendall wasn't the only bashful one. Logan averted his gaze, but he couldn't hide how his cheeks were starting to heat up.

"You know how once you go through puberty, you start to see people differently? Well my first post-puberty crush wasn't on a girl; it was on you," Kendall confessed. "And really, I've never stopped crushing on you."

Logan didn't know what to say. He had no idea what to do. This was a lot to take in all at once. Not only that, but they had _just_ buried James.

"Then why did you date Jo?" Logan inquired.

"Probably for the same reason you started dating Camille; to throw people off; to give the appearance of being 'normal.' But you and I aren't 'normal,' Logan, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that," Kendall stated.

Logan turned towards Spirit James, who looked just as surprised as Logan by this new development.

"What do you think? Is he sincere?" Logan asked.

Kendall had a concerned look on his facial features as he watched Logan converse with someone even though no one was where Logan was facing. That just brought up a horrible memory of his mother informing Katie and him about an intervention they were going to stage for Logan as soon as they got back to The Palm Woods. Truthfully, part of the reason why Kendall was coming clean to Logan now was because he didn't know how much time he had left with Logan before he got carted off to a psychiatric institute.

"He sounds sincere, but just remember that there's another option, Logan," Spirit James answered.

"Logan? Who are you talking to?" Carlos asked, walking up to Logan, and sitting down beside him so close that their knees were touching.

Logan was confused. It was different when James was the only one who had feelings for him. Back then, he didn't have to choose James over anybody. Back then, he didn't have to reject someone. And Logan cared a great deal about both Kendall and Carlos. He felt attracted to both of them as well.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Logan replied.

"Of course I would!" Carlos responded, before pulling Logan in for a hug. Kendall shifted uncomfortably. "I know this couldn't have been easy for you, but I am so proud of you for doing this today!"

Logan could feel Kendall's eyes on him, which was the only thing stopping him from melting into Carlos' embrace. Logan thought back to how he and Carlos were virtually attached at the hip throughout the whole funeral. Carlos had tissues at the ready. He had set his hand on Logan's thigh, and would rub it whenever Logan would break down and cry, a gesture that Logan found terribly arousing.

"Boys, it's time to go home," Mrs. Knight called out.

XXXXX

As they entered the threshold of Apartment 2J, everyone knew what was coming; everyone but Logan that is. Carlos' parents were there, Logan's mom was there, all three Knights were there, and so were Carlos and Logan. However, Carlos wasn't there for long.

"I can't wait to wear some normal clothes," Carlos commented as he went off to his bedroom to change, but everyone but Logan knew the _real_ reason Carlos made himself scarce all of a sudden.

Logan was ushered into the living room, and had a seat on the orange sofa. He noticed how everyone else formed a loose semicircle of sorts around him. He also saw how they were all standing.

"What's going on here?" Logan asked uneasily.

There was a knock at the door, and Logan hardly noticed Officer Garcia leave to go answer the door. The next thing he knew, some lady in a gray pant suit was standing at the center of the semicircle right in front of Logan.

"Logan, I'm Dr. Stadler, head psychiatrist at Shriner's Psychiatric Institute. Everyone here cares about you so much, and they each would like to speak with you," the shrink began.

"Logan, you need help," Officer Garcia said. "I know my son loves you. Don't you think you owe it to him to get better?"

"Better? There's nothing wrong with me!" Logan protested.

Sylvia Garcia wordlessly told her husband that she would take it from here. He stepped back as she stepped forward, taking Logan's hands in hers before he shook himself free, disbelief in his eyes.

"Logan, you kept going back into an apartment that had a carbon monoxide leak. When my son tried to kiss you, you became unreachable as you went into a panic attack. Clearly you are still traumatized by what James did to you. And then there's the matter of you hallucinating," Mrs. Garcia said.

Logan rose from the couch. His eyes welled up with tears. He was legitimately surprised that he even had any tears left to cry. That seemed to be pretty much all he had been doing all day. The only difference was that this time, these were more tears of fury.

"I should get some sort of medal for time and time again saving people's lives, not shipped off to some loony bin! Once you get raped, we'll talk! Until then, you have no right to judge me! You have no idea what I'm going through; what I went through! And I wasn't hallucinating! I really did see James! Just because apparently none of you saw him doesn't mean that he wasn't there!" Logan shouted back.

Mrs. Knight stepped forward next. She wrapped her arms around Logan in a hug. The teenager was stiff the whole time, and didn't return the gesture.

"Do you hear yourself? This isn't you! You're a lot more irritable. You used to be soft-spoken and respectful, and now you're shouting at basically everyone," Jennifer Knight pointed out.

"Oh, so now I'm disrespectful? Did you ever think that maybe you all are the ones who are being disrespectful to me?" Logan retorted.

Katie decided that it was her turn to let her voice be heard.

"Logan, I look up to you. You and my brother are the only sane ones out of the four…three of you," Katie said glumly. "Is _this_ the kind of example you want to set for me?"

"I never asked for you to look up to me, okay? So just stop already! That's what your brother's for! And as you just said, I'm _not_ your brother!" Logan snapped back.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Everyone, for whatever reason, had been reduced to tears. They knew that Logan wouldn't go willingly. They knew it wouldn't be easy. Having said that, they never expected it to be such a disaster.

"Hortense," Joanna Mitchell called out.

"Mom, please tell me that you're not a part of this farce of an intervention. Forget everyone else. Let's go home. Just you and me," Logan said.

Logan became worried when his mother didn't answer right away. She was quite obviously tripping over her words. The knife was already securely in his back. Who was next to twist it? Would it really be his own mother?

Logan placed a hand on each of his mom's shoulders. He looked her square in the eyes, his own eyes sparkling with tears. His lips quivering.

"Mom…_please_?" Logan begged.

Joanna took a deep breath before answering. "As much as it pains me to say this, sweetie, you're not quite ready to come home yet. I think you should go with Dr. Stadler here. She can help you."

Logan pulled back his hands as though he had been burnt by his mom's shoulders. His breathing was ragged. His vision was blurred by countless tears. He took three steps back from his mom, nearly losing his balance when he came into contact with the front of the sofa.

"I don't know who you are, but you people don't care about me! If you did, then you wouldn't be doing this to me!" Logan yelled.

Logan stormed off down the hallway in a huff, but came to an abrupt halt when standing before him was Kendall.

"Kendall! You're my protector! Protect me from this! Protect me from them!" Logan pleaded.

Logan threw his arms around Kendall, his body going limp as Kendall held him. Logan had buried his face in Kendall's chest as his tears soaked the taller boy's shirt. Though Kendall had been aware of the plan, he didn't know what he was going to do. Up until a little bit ago, he was all for Logan going with Dr. Stadler. Now that Logan was in his arms though, Kendall wasn't sure about anything.

"I don't know if there's anything I can do…" Kendall trailed off.

"So you're just giving up? The Kendall I know doesn't give up! Please don't give up! Please don't give up on me!" Logan cried out, his voice cracking.

Kendall pulled back from Logan enough so that he could see his tear-streaked face. He cupped the smaller boy's face in his hands. Tears mixed with snot as both trickled down into Kendall's mouth, but Kendall didn't even care.

"Look at me!" Kendall urged, as Logan lowered his gaze. Kendall shook Logan. "Look at me! I'm _not_ giving up on you! I'll _never _give up on you! Do you hear me?"

"Then do _something_!" Logan begged.

Kendall mustered his courage, nodding his head once. He took up a protective stance in front of Logan.

"If you want to take Logan out of here, then you'll have to go through me first!" Kendall declared.

Dr. Stadler made an unusual gesture with her hands, like she was motioning for someone to enter the apartment. All eyes turned to the apartment door where two hulking figures stood; Dr. Stadler's assistants. One of them was brandishing a tranquilizer gun, which he promptly fired at Kendall.

The dart embedded itself in the delicate skin of Kendall's neck. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he dropped like a ton of bricks right where he stood.

"Kendall!" Logan cried out, crouching down beside his now unconscious friend.

Soon both of Dr. Stadler's assistants had a hold of a squirming Logan, as they proceeded to drag him kicking and screaming out of the apartment.

"No! Let me go! Carlos! Help! Don't let them take me! Carlos, please!" Logan wailed.

There was the sound of shuffling footsteps as Carlos raced towards the sound of Logan's voice faster than he's ever ran before. Officer Garcia intercepted his son though, picking his son clean off the floor and holding him back.

"Dad! What are you doing? Let me go! They're taking Logan away! I have to stop them! Logan!" Carlos shouted, his arm outstretched.

Logan reached out too. Carlos and Logan were fingertips away from one another. Officer Garcia and Dr. Stadler's assistants quickly remedied that though, pulling the two boys even further apart.

Carlos pounded his fists against his father's chest, but that just made the police officer tighten his hold. Carlos' body shook with sobs. He could hardly see anything through his tears, but he could hear Logan's screams get further and further away. Then Carlos could hear Logan no more.

Carlos hated himself. He wanted nothing to do with the intervention. He certainly didn't want Logan to think that he agreed with everyone else. But he should've been out in the living room anyways. Maybe if he had been, he could've stopped Logan from being taken in the first place. Now, he was too late; far too late.

Carlos wasn't even sure where this psychiatric institute was. He didn't know how long Logan would be there. He didn't know if he was allowed to have visitors, and if he could, how soon he could have visitors. All he knew was that he didn't want the two of them to be apart.

"Logan…" Carlos said somberly.

**The End**

**A/N: So, should I make a sequel? If so, what should the ship be? Cargan? Kogan? A love triangle, perhaps. I'll tell you what, I'll make a poll and put it on my profile page. You can tell me if you want me to write a sequel in a review or PM. But tell me what ship you want the sequel to contain by voting in the poll, okay? **


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